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(NFL)   Oh, I'm afraid Peyton Manning will be quite operational when your friends arrive   (nfl.com) divider line 77
    More: Spiffy, Peyton Manning  
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14528 clicks; posted to Sports » on 10 Sep 2012 at 12:01 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-09-10 01:03:58 PM  
7 votes:
You've failed, Your Highness. He is a Quarterback, like his father before him.
2012-09-10 01:13:54 PM  
3 votes:
i.imgur.com

"You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life"
2012-09-10 12:27:27 PM  
3 votes:
The odds of Manning successfully navigating an NFL season are 3,720 to 1
2012-09-10 12:14:29 PM  
3 votes:
These are not the refs you're looking for.
2012-09-10 12:10:13 PM  
3 votes:

Rhypskallion: So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause.


That line was my favorite part of the prequels. I still don't think the vast majority of the audience got it.

/did congress clap when the patriot act passed?
2012-09-10 10:42:18 AM  
3 votes:
Tracy Porter now has a two game streak of games involving him and Payton Manning where he locks down the game with a pick-6 interception.
2012-09-10 10:07:57 AM  
3 votes:

OtherBrotherDarryl: ArkAngel: Your overconfidence is your weakness

Your faith in the AFC West is yours.


Hokey offenses and ancient quarterbacks are no match for a good defense at your side, kid.
2012-09-10 09:48:04 AM  
3 votes:

ArkAngel: Your overconfidence is your weakness


Your faith in the AFC West is yours.
2012-09-10 08:37:08 AM  
3 votes:
Stolen from the original thread.
2012-09-10 04:12:25 PM  
2 votes:

Nana's Vibrator: Qui-Gon: His cells have the highest concentration of midi-Coloradans I have seen in a life-form. It was possible he was conceived by the midi-Coloradans.

Mace Windu: You refer to the prophecy of The One who will bring balance to Denver. You believe it's this boy middle-aged man?


I don't recognize those characters. Which one of the three movies is that from? Return of the Jedi?
2012-09-10 03:53:26 PM  
2 votes:
I also love how some of you are saying the Polamalu was messing with Manning, when it was at the very least mutual, if not more of Manning baiting Polamalu into showing his hand too early. It was a thing of beauty, only by the other guy, not Cousin It.
2012-09-10 01:47:37 PM  
2 votes:
www.nflpassers.com

They told me they fixed it! I *trusted* them to *fix* it! It's not my fault!
2012-09-10 01:01:53 PM  
2 votes:

PsyLord: Surely he will not be able to do as well as the blessed Tim Tebow... or have his followers in Denver forsaken him already?


Good thing for Broncos fans that it's against Peyton's programming to impersonate a deity.
2012-09-10 01:01:30 PM  
2 votes:
i3.photobucket.com

Talent matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my talent, do you? Hmm? Hmm! And well you should not. For my ally is the Jesus, and a powerful ally he is. He creates life, makes it grow. His love surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Jesus around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.
2012-09-10 01:00:45 PM  
2 votes:

FunkyBlue: I did love Troy was screwing with Peyton. Peyton would spot Troy, audible, spot Troy again, audible, spot Troy again, call time out.


Even better was watching him get out of position and then getting burned for a 73 yard touchdown
2012-09-10 12:27:16 PM  
2 votes:
The real question is will Peyton be able to play in the open air during a Denver winter.
2012-09-10 12:19:16 PM  
2 votes:

ZzeusS: Lots of PA fans in my neck of the woods are strangely quiet today. I am OK with this.


You mean it's as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced? Do you fear that something terrible has happened?

/hot
2012-09-10 11:46:33 AM  
2 votes:
i258.photobucket.com
2012-09-10 11:09:29 AM  
2 votes:

ArkAngel: I_C_Weener: Jubeebee: OtherBrotherDarryl: ArkAngel: Your overconfidence is your weakness

Your faith in the AFC West is yours.

Hokey offenses and ancient quarterbacks are no match for a good defense at your side, kid.


I find your lack of faith....disturbing.

Don't try to frighten us with your running game's ways. Your sad devotion to that ancient strategy hasn't helped you conjure up a Superbowl victory.


The QB is part of the Pittsburgh team and a rapist. Take him away!
 
/not quite there
 
2012-09-11 01:37:53 AM  
1 votes:

rka: free_waffles: The real question is will Peyton be able to play in the open air during a Denver winter.

Like when it was 60 degrees for the New England game mid-December last year? Or when it was 40 degrees for the KC game on Jan 1st?

I don't know if the networks have fooled everyone with their opening shots of the ski areas in Colorado before every game, but Denver is not really that cold. We're not Buffalo or Green Bay here.


Don't be telling everyone our Denver secrets.

Really, in all honesty folks, it is quite farking cold here in Denver for 10 or so months of the year.

Please come here to ski, eat, drink, be merry and spend your hard earned cash. Then go home and tell your friends and family about the great powder that you skied in up in Vail/Beaver Creek/Keystone/etc....

But, don't move here. Especially if you are from: Texas/New York/California/Florida
2012-09-10 07:06:58 PM  
1 votes:
What do you mean he blew up the Steelers?
What the hell is an Painting Manning?!?
2012-09-10 06:50:51 PM  
1 votes:
BUT YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE
www.digitalbusstop.com
BUT YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE
blog.oregonlive.com
BUT YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE
www.examiner.com
BUT YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE
newspaper.li
BUT YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE
a.espncdn.com
2012-09-10 04:47:49 PM  
1 votes:
media.cnbc.com

You can't win, Irsay. Strike me down, and I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

/hotlink
2012-09-10 03:51:15 PM  
1 votes:

Gyrfalcon: JohnBigBootay: Stangfreek: The implication from sports fans when they say "my team didn't play well, and your team did" is that the win was a flukey thing.

I'm a steeler fan. I don't think they played all that well. I just don't think victory would be assured if they did play well. One way or another they got beat fair and square and there was nothing flukey about last night's game. Frankly I haven't seen all that many flukey wins and I've been watching football a long time. Every now and again you see a game where it feels like one team is in control and winning the stat battle all night and they get beat anyway. This was not one of those times.

Rothlesberger (? how the hell do you spell it anyway?) didn't look like he was on his game last night. At least part of the time, he looked like the play clock caught him flat-footed and he wasn't as sharp as I've seen him. OTOH, Palemalu was having the awesomest night I've seen in a while. That bulldog wrist tackle late in the 4th was amazing. I was sure he was going to be offsides when he was baiting Manning--it was a thing of beauty to be sure.


11/19 on third downs were the Steelers. At LEAST 6 of them were all Big Ben. I've seen him play a lot, and he was not off last night. He made 1 really bad throw. Maybe you think he didn't play well because of how well Manning played?
2012-09-10 03:47:24 PM  
1 votes:

degenerate-afro: CapnPlaty: DamnYankees: He looked good but not great. He played like an average quarterback having a decent game.

Against the top rated defense in the league? Once they went no huddle only Denver stopped Denver's offense.

The top rated defenses so far this season:
1. Philadelphia Eagles
2. Detroit Lions
3. Seattle Seahawks
4. Arizona Cardinals
5. Carolina Panthers

Of course there are still two games to play.


I assume he meant by last years ratings. That said, the Eagles played the Browns so they can't count in the top 5.
2012-09-10 03:24:15 PM  
1 votes:
Belichick's not a system. He's a man. Bill Belichick. He's a head coach, video taper, scoundrel, you'd like him
rka
2012-09-10 03:18:46 PM  
1 votes:

Slow To Return: ATRDCI: ...why would they hate us?

I think it has something to do with the way we (supposedly) act when we visit their ski resorts.


Denim bib overalls are not acceptable attire at here at Aspen Mountain. Good day sir!

/we hate both Texans *and* Californians equally
2012-09-10 03:16:42 PM  
1 votes:
i282.photobucket.com
2012-09-10 02:40:53 PM  
1 votes:
http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/7660415/thanks-memories-peyton-mann ing

All you need to know. Thanks Peyton!!

Best of luck Andrew.

Go Colts!!
2012-09-10 02:40:08 PM  
1 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com

We have no choice, Coach Tomlin! Our defensive backs can't repel firepower of that magnitude!
2012-09-10 02:34:03 PM  
1 votes:

SearchN: /Wife's from Texas.


I thought Coloradans were required by law to detest Texans??
2012-09-10 01:53:48 PM  
1 votes:

hdhale: [www.nflpassers.com image 453x302]

They told me they fixed it! I *trusted* them to *fix* it! It's not my fault!


AWESOME.
2012-09-10 01:53:18 PM  
1 votes:
i2.cdn.turner.com

You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your contract.
2012-09-10 01:47:05 PM  
1 votes:
This thread is so rad - and I love that 85% of the posts are great, and 15% a totally not getting it or have no sense of humor.

I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me.

/got nuthin
2012-09-10 01:44:53 PM  
1 votes:
www.60news.com

Elway: We're riding you all the way to the superbowl baby!

Manning: Superbowl? Jeez, I'm out of it for a little while, everyone gets delusions of grandeur!
2012-09-10 01:44:32 PM  
1 votes:
img.photobucket.com
You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.
2012-09-10 01:42:14 PM  
1 votes:
When thrown over 400 touchdown passes you have, look as good you will not.
2012-09-10 01:37:45 PM  
1 votes:
That's no Warren Moon.
2012-09-10 01:35:31 PM  
1 votes:
General Manning. Years ago you served my father on the Colts. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the NFC. I regret that I am unable to convey my father's request to you in person, but my team has fallen under attack, and I'm afraid my mission to bring you to the Superbowl has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the AFC into the memory systems of this Playbook. The Quarterback Coach will know how to retrieve it. You must see this trophy safely delivered to him to Denver. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Payton Manning. You're my only hope.
2012-09-10 01:31:53 PM  
1 votes:

Stangfreek: FunkyBlue: I'm a Steelers fan and I have to say, they played well and we played not that great. Especially in the last 2 minutes where Ben got sacked 3 out of 4 downs. Honestly, I know they changed up the O-Line this year, but Ben does need some time to throw the ball. 1 second form the snap is too fast for any QB to ditch the ball for any good yardage and the offensive line just crumbled around him in less than 1. I don't think Ben's ankle is doing even 80% again this year and all it's going to take is one intential ankle grab for a sack and he's a sitting target for the rest of the year (like last year). I think this may be Ben's last year unless he gets that ankle working like it should be. I was calling for Ben to go last year because of it. It's not getting any better and his ability to run and dodge out of tackles is what made him a threat. Not hopping three steps and hoping someone is open.

I did love Troy was screwing with Peyton. Peyton would spot Troy, audible, spot Troy again, audible, spot Troy again, call time out.

Troy has to be one of the most fun guys to watch play. "Hang on, someone just jumped over the line and sacked the QB. Oh, it was number 43." I think he's getting close to having more QB sacks than half the Defensive line.

Clearly a Steelers fan. The Steelers played well last night...you just can't admit that they got beat fair and square? Ben was mobile and played REALLY well, yes the protection was suspect for the most part, but the Broncos do have two elite pass rushers, and Derek Wolfe is rapidly turning into a stud interior lineman.

Polamalu was getting screwed with as much as he was screwing. Manning saw what he was trying to do and called his bluff on several occasions. The whole sequence at the goal line was a perfect example of Manning getting Polamalu to show his hand. He didn't take that time out because he was rattled or unsure, he took it because he knew they didn't have a good matchup for the defensive alignment the Steelers ...


Oh, I'm definitely not saying they weren't the better team last night. Ben was more mobile, but it's the 1st game of the season. Last season had a lot of rushers aiming for his bad ankle and a couple got it. Injury like that on top of injury isn't going to heal 100%, probably ever. I've seen him get out of a closing pocket much faster and slipperier, but not since the initial injury. That's how he compensated for the O-line folding like a house of cards sometimes. He made himself 2-3 extra seconds to find someone or made his own hole or got a short rush. He's just not playing the same and that killed the playoff chances last year and it doesn't appear to bode well this year.

Troy isn't everywhere and he can be planned against, but don't say it isn't funny about how many QB's look for the hair before the play starts.

I hate the Pats, but I will say their O-line is insanely good. Brady isn't half the QB he is touted to be if a team manages to dismantle that line. He makes mistakes and panics a lot. Watched several games where if he got sacked more than once in a quarter, he looked like he was getting shaken a bit and he would make interceptions, bad throws, or mostly just chuck the ball at the sideline. But most plays, he's calm and confident because his line holds 3-4 seconds easy on almost every play. Any QB in the league would be in the same standings Brady has if their lines gave them that much time to make a play. Another reason I don't like Brady is that when he's getting sacked that badly, he has this angry glare or he's yelling at his teammates or coaches. I can never make out what he's saying, but I imagine it's biatching them out because he got hit.
2012-09-10 01:20:24 PM  
1 votes:
No! The Steelers are peaceful! We have no weapons, you can't possibly...
[impatiently] You would prefer another target, a Wide Receiver? Then name the player! I grow tired of asking this so it will be the last time: *Where* is the Wide Receiver?
...Heinz Field. They're on Heinz Field.
There. You see, Lord Payton, she can be reasonable. Continue with the operation; you may play when ready.
WHAT?
You're far too trusting. Heinz Field is too remote to make an effective demonstration - but don't worry; we will deal with your AFC friends soon enough.
2012-09-10 01:15:39 PM  
1 votes:
Steelers don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Jared Allen is known to do that.
www.crossfitfootball.com
/i suggest a new strategy, let the vikings win
2012-09-10 01:14:12 PM  
1 votes:
cdn1.sbnation.com
 
"You worry about the blitz.  I'll worry about the defensive backs!"
2012-09-10 01:13:47 PM  
1 votes:
WTF is up with the shiatty image editing on this thread?

Fine, lets make it a race to the bottom!

s12.postimage.org
2012-09-10 01:12:50 PM  
1 votes:
The Steelers secondary after Manning got through with them:

www.swg1.net
2012-09-10 01:10:49 PM  
1 votes:
Last one.

Your father was seduced by the Dark Side of Football. He ceased to be Archie and became Darth Manning. When that happened, the good man who was your father never won a super bowl. So what I told you was true; from a certain point of view.
2012-09-10 01:09:28 PM  
1 votes:

PsyLord: Fully operational? Is that similar to fully functional?

[images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 600x458]


There are FIVE downs!
2012-09-10 01:05:29 PM  
1 votes:
Fully operational? Is that similar to fully functional?

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
2012-09-10 12:58:18 PM  
1 votes:

DamnYankees: He looked good but not great. He played like an average quarterback having a decent game.


what a large pile of stupid looks like.

or mediocre trolling.
2012-09-10 12:53:34 PM  
1 votes:
ww2.hdnux.com
 
"It's okay.  I know a few maneuvers.  We'll lose them."
2012-09-10 12:51:44 PM  
1 votes:

rickythepenguin: [i3.photobucket.com image 480x355]

But I was going into tosche station Invesco Field to pick up some power converters. wide receivers!


I'm calling this one now... "best Photoshop evar".
2012-09-10 12:47:56 PM  
1 votes:
So, who does everyone like in the Superbowl? Broncos or Redskins?
2012-09-10 12:47:03 PM  
1 votes:
Playing cover two against Peyton Manning ain't like dusting crops, boy!
2012-09-10 12:45:46 PM  
1 votes:
Kid, I've flown from one side of this gridiron to the other, and I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen *anything* to make me believe that there's one all-powerful secondary controlling everything. 'Cause no mystical defense controls *my* destiny. It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.
2012-09-10 12:38:02 PM  
1 votes:
i3.photobucket.com

But I was going into tosche station Invesco Field to pick up some power converters. wide receivers!
2012-09-10 12:30:51 PM  
1 votes:

bel4sucks: Captain Steroid: Heinz Field

The game was in Denver


Does that make my statement any less true?
2012-09-10 12:28:47 PM  
1 votes:
You were supposed to destroy the Broncos, not join them!
2012-09-10 12:22:33 PM  
1 votes:
I guess those were not the Steelers their fans were looking for.
2012-09-10 12:21:49 PM  
1 votes:
Headline is nerdelicious
2012-09-10 12:21:47 PM  
1 votes:
I have altered the passing routes. Pray I do not alter them further.
2012-09-10 12:21:47 PM  
1 votes:
Heinz Field. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. :P
2012-09-10 12:21:17 PM  
1 votes:
www.chrissniderdesign.com

Rep-re-SENT!

/Atlanta...YOU'RE NEXT
2012-09-10 12:16:58 PM  
1 votes:

DamnYankees: He looked good but not great. He played like an average quarterback having a decent game.


A QB rating of 129.2 is average now?
2012-09-10 12:15:57 PM  
1 votes:

ZzeusS: Lots of PA fans in my neck of the woods are strangely quiet today. I am OK with this.


Penn State AND the Steelers losing? It must be Christmas!
2012-09-10 12:15:23 PM  
1 votes:

Publikwerks: [www.singleblackmale.org image 666x800]

*I* don't like you either. You just watch yourself. We're wanted men. I have the death sentence on twelve systems.


Would have gone with:

"I love you...."

"I know."
2012-09-10 12:14:40 PM  
1 votes:

I_C_Weener: Jubeebee: OtherBrotherDarryl: ArkAngel: Your overconfidence is your weakness

Your faith in the AFC West is yours.

Hokey offenses and ancient quarterbacks are no match for a good defense at your side, kid.


I find your lack of faith....disturbing.


Enough of this! Weener, release him!
2012-09-10 12:13:07 PM  
1 votes:
farm4.static.flickr.com

It's a trap.
2012-09-10 11:39:07 AM  
1 votes:
Sister...you have a twin sister. I shall instruct the Cowgirls to defeat him as well.
2012-09-10 11:13:08 AM  
1 votes:

ArkAngel: I_C_Weener: Jubeebee: OtherBrotherDarryl: ArkAngel: Your overconfidence is your weakness

Your faith in the AFC West is yours.

Hokey offenses and ancient quarterbacks are no match for a good defense at your side, kid.


I find your lack of faith....disturbing.

Don't try to frighten us with your running game's ways. Your sad devotion to that ancient strategy hasn't helped you conjure up a Superbowl victory.


You've never heard of the Superbowl XLI? ... He's the QB that beat the Bears in 29 parsecs..
 
2012-09-10 11:05:04 AM  
1 votes:

I_C_Weener: Jubeebee: OtherBrotherDarryl: ArkAngel: Your overconfidence is your weakness

Your faith in the AFC West is yours.

Hokey offenses and ancient quarterbacks are no match for a good defense at your side, kid.


I find your lack of faith....disturbing.


Don't try to frighten us with your running game's ways. Your sad devotion to that ancient strategy hasn't helped you conjure up a Superbowl victory.
2012-09-10 10:43:47 AM  
1 votes:
Couple of great signs but the full Manning has not been unleashed. The cross-field bullet pass that showed nice arm strength and the soft touch lob pass to Tamme on the sideline showed Manning finesse.
Nobody wants to play the Broncos right now.
2012-09-10 10:38:12 AM  
1 votes:
Demaryious thomas has the Steelers number.
2012-09-10 10:22:30 AM  
1 votes:

Jubeebee: OtherBrotherDarryl: ArkAngel: Your overconfidence is your weakness

Your faith in the AFC West is yours.

Hokey offenses and ancient quarterbacks are no match for a good defense at your side, kid.



I find your lack of faith....disturbing.
2012-09-10 09:40:25 AM  
1 votes:
Your overconfidence is your weakness
2012-09-10 09:02:04 AM  
1 votes:
I wonder if the Colts could trade for him?
2012-09-10 08:43:27 AM  
1 votes:
best part about it is that he says he's still not 100%.

Be afraid, be very afraid.
2012-09-10 08:34:03 AM  
1 votes:
Nice subby.
 
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