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(Sun Sentinel)   Don't you hate it when you're standing completely naked on your front porch enjoying the night air and your neighbor's daughter runs out of the house chasing her pet cat and the two of you lock eyes for about five seconds?   (sun-sentinel.com) divider line 82
    More: Florida, front porch, cats, Joe McHugh  
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17914 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Sep 2012 at 1:07 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-09 07:37:02 PM  
This guy planted cat nip in his yard, I bet.
 
2012-09-09 10:06:17 PM  
We're really, really retarded about nudity in this country.
 
2012-09-09 10:14:24 PM  
Was he hard? This is important.
 
2012-09-09 10:17:26 PM  
Slight resemblance....

t.imgbox.com t.imgbox.com
 
2012-09-09 10:49:12 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: We're really, really retarded about nudity in this country.


The issue isn't nudity. Florida has plenty of nudist camps and nude beaches. The issue is exposing yourself for sexual gratification, particularly with children.

Even in Germany, there are locations wher public nudity is OK. But don't you dare let it all hang out on your front landing in your neighborhood. It's just not cool.
 
2012-09-09 10:55:01 PM  
so he was naked in public and saw her .... cat
 
2012-09-09 10:56:44 PM  

AirForceVet: FirstNationalBastard: We're really, really retarded about nudity in this country.

The issue isn't nudity. Florida has plenty of nudist camps and nude beaches. The issue is exposing yourself for sexual gratification, particularly with children.

Even in Germany, there are locations wher public nudity is OK. But don't you dare let it all hang out on your front landing in your neighborhood. It's just not cool.


Was he exposing himself for sexual gratification, though?

He was naked on his front porch. That's not necessarily exposing yourself for sexual gratification.

Now, if he was saying "c'mere little girl" and beating his hard-on on the doorknob, that's something else entirely.
 
2012-09-09 11:08:36 PM  
This story is weird to me.
 
2012-09-09 11:09:09 PM  
FTFA: "and two counts of exposure of sexual organs"

He has two sets of sexual organs? Or were cock and balls separate charges?
 
2012-09-09 11:09:25 PM  
I don't like the first-person narrative in this headline.
 
2012-09-09 11:38:29 PM  
FTFA: "The three victims all positively identified Lynn when police arrived, McHugh said."

Victims? How about "complainants"?

"I saw his penis! I'M A VICTIM!"
 
2012-09-10 01:14:13 AM  
Isn't "standing "completely naked exposing his genitals" a redundant statement?
 
2012-09-10 01:14:34 AM  

MadAzza: FTFA: "The three victims all positively identified Lynn when police arrived, McHugh said."

Victims? How about "complainants"?

"I saw his penis! I'M A VICTIM!"


Going off the pictures, I'd say that anyone who sees that man naked would qualify as a victim.
 
2012-09-10 01:15:39 AM  

Flying Lasagna Monster: Isn't "standing "completely naked exposing his genitals" a redundant statement?


Going off of some of the porn I scroll past, it's annoyingly possible to be nude without making your genitals visible to others.
 
2012-09-10 01:18:01 AM  

Makh: FTFA: "and two counts of exposure of sexual organs"

He has two sets of sexual organs? Or were cock and balls separate charges?


That's pretty much exactly what I was wondering. WTF?
 
2012-09-10 01:18:22 AM  
Wait, if their eyes were locked, the girl damn well wasn't looking at his wing-wang was she?
 
2012-09-10 01:20:07 AM  
"Don't you hate it when you're standing completely naked on your front porch enjoying the night air and your neighbor's daughter runs out of the house chasing her pet cat and the two of you lock eyes for about five seconds?"

I thought that was just me!

/Oh, thank Gahd.
//I'm normal-ish.
 
2012-09-10 01:20:24 AM  
No. No, actually I kind of like it.
 
2012-09-10 01:20:26 AM  
Also: Before you step onto your stoop in the nude, either petition your city to make it legal or move into a nudist neighborhood. You're not senile, you know better.

/Nudist neighborhoods would be awesome if the old men taking Viagra didn't ruin it for everyone.
 
2012-09-10 01:21:07 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: AirForceVet: FirstNationalBastard: We're really, really retarded about nudity in this country.

The issue isn't nudity. Florida has plenty of nudist camps and nude beaches. The issue is exposing yourself for sexual gratification, particularly with children.

Even in Germany, there are locations wher public nudity is OK. But don't you dare let it all hang out on your front landing in your neighborhood. It's just not cool.

Was he exposing himself for sexual gratification, though?

He was naked on his front porch. That's not necessarily exposing yourself for sexual gratification.

Now, if he was saying "c'mere little girl" and beating his hard-on on the doorknob, that's something else entirely.


The fact that when the adults came outside he went inside and was peaking around the corner tells me that he knew what he was doing was wrong, and when it comes to a guys junk if its out its for gratification
 
2012-09-10 01:21:10 AM  
I dunno, I got kids, but If he were standing on his front porch I'd go over and let him know that not everyone is cool about that stuff...maybe he wants to put on a bathing suit..


That said, what he does in his backyard is his own business, and 15 years in prison seems a little...


..Stiff..



media.tumblr.com 

/hotlinked
 
2012-09-10 01:26:39 AM  

Flying Lasagna Monster: Isn't "standing "completely naked exposing his genitals" a redundant statement?


mangina
 
2012-09-10 01:28:56 AM  
depends. was she over 12?

(reads TFA)

close enough. i'm cool with this. the article never said anything about him waving his junk at her, or chasing her around, or playing with it while pointing an OK sign at the girl and saying 'see this? this is going to be your butthole.'. if anything interesting like that had happened it would have been mentioned. guy was just naked outside his house.

"When he realized he was being watched, he went inside his apartment but left the front door open."
- clearly this is or is not a dangerous man. please post your opinion along with your religious and political affiliation.
 
2012-09-10 01:31:48 AM  

PacificaFitz: when it comes to a guys junk if its out its for gratification


What if you just have to pee?

R. Kelly doesn't count.
 
2012-09-10 01:35:44 AM  
Did you see the link at the bottom of TFA page?

Man Dies After Eating Ounce of Cocaine Out Of Brother's Butt


/"Eat that s***"
//"Chew that s***."
 
2012-09-10 01:37:48 AM  
This is the third time Lynn, who is 6-feet tall and weighs 200 pounds, has been outside of his home completely naked, according to a police report.

Once I could chalk up to carelessness. More than that is deliberate.  Go in the back yard or put on some farking pants.
 
2012-09-10 01:38:01 AM  

cptjeff: MadAzza: FTFA: "The three victims all positively identified Lynn when police arrived, McHugh said."

Victims? How about "complainants"?

"I saw his penis! I'M A VICTIM!"

Going off the pictures, I'd say that anyone who sees that man naked would qualify as a victim.


Hmm ... point taken, sir.
 
2012-09-10 01:39:47 AM  
t.imgbox.comtheinspirationroom.com
 
2012-09-10 01:43:59 AM  
blog.thewhiskyexchange.com
 
2012-09-10 01:45:31 AM  

WeenerGord: Did you see the link at the bottom of TFA page?

Man Dies After Eating Ounce of Cocaine Out Of Brother's Butt


/"Eat that s***"
//"Chew that s***."


that was awesome. 10 months old, but awesome.
 
2012-09-10 01:45:57 AM  
Looking at Google maps, all of the housing on that block is apartments and conjoined units. There is a good chance that this girl was in very close proximity, they shared a porch, etc. Looking at the photos, there are no "front porches". This guy was strutting his stuff outside his apartment door. This is not a case of I saw this guy in his yard across the street, but a we share parking spaces and the same concrete leads to our front doors.

the801: clearly this is or is not a dangerous man. please post your opinion along with your religious and political affiliation.


I love a good religion and politics argument as much as anybody, but you are going to have to try harder than that to interject one in this discussion
 
2012-09-10 01:46:20 AM  
Sometimes you just have to air out your genitals
 
2012-09-10 01:51:17 AM  
 
2012-09-10 01:52:47 AM  
GIFs or it didn't happen.

/Set up, action, double-take, beat, punchline
 
2012-09-10 01:57:57 AM  
Imagine if he would have asked her what she was reading!
 
2012-09-10 02:00:13 AM  
At my last job, my former coworker informed me to 'watch out' for the old man who's house was on one of our routes, because supposedly he likes to sit naked on his deck. Same old man who seriously mowed a small labyrinth and other patterns into his lawn, apparently out of boredom. So I guess there are some folks out there who just like to let it hang in the breeze.

Not defending this guy; I'd certainly hope that in close quarters like townhouses, NO ONE would do that, but we can't pick the perfect neighborhood, can we...
 
2012-09-10 02:03:35 AM  

Flying Lasagna Monster: Isn't "standing "completely naked exposing his genitals" a redundant statement?


He could have been doing the Buffalo Bill or a Fuzzy Tangerine.
 
2012-09-10 02:08:14 AM  
It's unfortunate that the perpetrator is always some creepy looking dude. How come you never hear about a cute 5'6" 120 lb. 19 year old female doing something like this?
 
2012-09-10 02:09:31 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: AirForceVet: FirstNationalBastard: We're really, really retarded about nudity in this country.

The issue isn't nudity. Florida has plenty of nudist camps and nude beaches. The issue is exposing yourself for sexual gratification, particularly with children.

Even in Germany, there are locations wher public nudity is OK. But don't you dare let it all hang out on your front landing in your neighborhood. It's just not cool.

Was he exposing himself for sexual gratification, though?

He was naked on his front porch. That's not necessarily exposing yourself for sexual gratification.

Now, if he was saying "c'mere little girl" and beating his hard-on on the doorknob, that's something else entirely.


The front porch is exposed to the street and generally the entrance/exits to other homes. It's not unreasonable to expect people hanging out on their front porches to be at least minimally clothed.

If he was hanging out in his privacy-fenced back yard and the girl came running through looking for the cat, it would be a different story.
 
2012-09-10 02:16:39 AM  
If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born with....

oh crap ;)
 
2012-09-10 02:27:46 AM  
I've woke up with a "Satan played the bagpipes with my lungs, Azrael used my head as drums, and I'm still shiatty drunk as fark" hangover or two, yet always manage at *least* a pair of boxers before going for a smoke. The dude's been watching too much Quagmire and not enough Herbert.
 
2012-09-10 02:42:38 AM  
She has her own night vision goggles?


/dnrtfa
 
2012-09-10 02:43:22 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: We're really, really retarded about nudity in this country.


Uh huh. Go to Germany, or France and expose your man-junk to 12 year old girls. In a few years, when you have access to the internet again. Let us know how it went.
 
2012-09-10 03:16:17 AM  
Seems a little excessive. He wasnt outright masturbating himself, and from the sounds of it she was straying into his yard, his property, to get the cat. Maybe there's something sick going on there, from the way he was 'peeping' but untill we can execute people for having dirty thoughts, not alot you can do, is there?
Now maybe the parents should have gone over there and kicked the man senseless if they truly thought he was a threat to their child. Not start screaming and wailing about being 'victims'.
 
2012-09-10 03:29:46 AM  

Atomic Spunk: It's unfortunate that the perpetrator is always some creepy looking dude. How come you never hear about a cute 5'6" 120 lb. 19 year old female doing something like this?


It happens quite often. It's just that nobody ever files a complaint, so we don't hear about it.

/never happens around me, though
//borderline creepy old man
 
2012-09-10 03:35:00 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: We're really, really retarded about nudity in this country.


^This.
 
2012-09-10 03:43:11 AM  
I don't blame him. It's still hot in Florida.
 
2012-09-10 03:52:38 AM  
Don't you hate it when you're standing completely naked on your front porch enjoying the night air and your neighbor's daughter runs out of the house chasing her pet cat and the two of you lock eyes for about five seconds?

Oh, God, don't joke about such things, Subby. That moment is magic. Pure magic.

"Mr. ShannonKW, why are you naked?"

Hmm? Oh, yes, Penelope, how nice to see you this glorious evening. Fine pussy you have there. Why don't you come inside and let me hold it?

"Mommy says it's called a 'vagina'. And she also says not to go with strange, pervy guys."

What has listening to your mom ever got you?

"Extra homework... The girls at school make fun of me when I do what she says... She picks the awfulest clothes... And she makes me eat things that make me fart a lot."

Right. Get in.

"Okay!"

---

So, Penelope, have you ever had a baby oil massage? It feels real good and...

"Aren't you supposed to molest me? Mom says you're supposed to molest me and make me tramadized, and they'll take me somewhere special and give me Haagen Dazs and I can tell everyone about my--"

Don't be so eager, little Penny--

"PENELOPE."

Sorry. Penelope. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Penelope. What say we try the baby oil massage now and and work up to the molestation later. It feels real good, and it's more fun than Angry Birds, and I think I have some Haagen Dazs in my freez--

"Okay!"

---

Ah, yes! Penelope, where can greater joy can be had in life than upon an air mattress lovingly slathered in baby oil? Your perky little nipples, how they gleam! Your bald little vulva, how it beckons! Your firm little buttocks, how they--

"Mr. ShannonKW, what is 'suction head'?"

Excuse me?

"Daddy says that there has to be 'net positive suction head', a positive pressure head difference between the inlet and outlet of a pump lest there be danger of cavitation, the resulting cyclic stress of which may irreparably damage the impeller resulting in costly--"

I'm sorry, little Penelope, but there is nothing I can teach you of fluid dynamics that your father has not already introduced you to. One day you will meet a man--I promise!--who can fulfill your yearning to know the deepest mysteries of heat transfer and fluid flow, and you will call him your husband. But, for now, I can offer you only the idle gratification of this baby oil massage. Shall we proceed?

"Okay!"

Ah, yes. Magic. Pure magic...
 
2012-09-10 04:18:16 AM  
... moves away from ShannonKW ...
 
2012-09-10 04:25:10 AM  

Atomic Spunk: It's unfortunate that the perpetrator is always some creepy looking dude. How come you never hear about a cute 5'6" 120 lb. 19 year old female doing something like this?


because in this case, she would be the "victim" if someone -epecialy a male- would gaze on her property
 
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