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(MSNBC)   Ohio teen crawled through a river of shait and came out clean on the other side   (msnbc.msn.com) divider line 57
    More: Scary, Ohio, storm sewers, combined sewer, Ohio teen  
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9357 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Sep 2012 at 1:10 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-07 10:57:43 PM  
I'd like to say he fought the good fight. . .

/ I guess he did the sisters didn't get him.
 
2012-09-08 12:03:10 AM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-08 12:07:17 AM  
He can relate.(Not Safe For Lunch)
 
2012-09-08 01:15:52 AM  
 
2012-09-08 01:16:44 AM  
I thought it would be an honorable mention of the Darwin awards but then I RTFA. Glad he survived bit after a hour would you want to?
 
2012-09-08 01:19:01 AM  
Since everyone is reading in Morgan Freeman's voice right now, just let me say this: Titty Sprinkles
 
2012-09-08 01:19:48 AM  
"In my head I'm like, 'Thank you, Lord.' I was praying," Jeffrey said.

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

/sorry Fark atheists, looks like you've lost one
 
2012-09-08 01:20:49 AM  
Scary, but I doubt shiat was involved as he was sucked down a storm drain. Maybe that city has a combined system, but you don't see as many of those around as you used to.
 
2012-09-08 01:22:28 AM  
Sewer != Sewage

We used to crawl through the drainage system in town as kids. We would freak out people in the neighborhood by reaching our hands out of the drains, It-style.
 
2012-09-08 01:22:35 AM  
He's not metal enough for Calgary Link
 
2012-09-08 01:23:06 AM  
The teen was riding his bike with a friend on Tuesday through puddles created by the rising creek, which flows near a strip mall parking lot in Parma. He fell into the overflowing water just off the edge of the parking lot and was forced into a drain pipe - roughly 2 feet in diameter, authorities said.   

Here's yo' award, dawg!

i.imgur.com
 
2012-09-08 01:24:48 AM  
Brave kid to go swimming in the Cuyahoga.
 
2012-09-08 01:25:04 AM  
That boy crawled through over a mile and a half of the foulest water I could ever imagine. Why he chose enchalada night, I'll never know.

www.millionaireplayboy.com
 
2012-09-08 01:29:03 AM  

Shaggy_C: We used to crawl through the drainage system in town as kids


We did that as well.

Strangely, our day-care providers had a problem with that.
 
2012-09-08 01:33:42 AM  
Where did this sudden fear of germs come from in this country? Have you noticed this? The media constantly running stories about all the latest infections? Salmonella, E-coli, hanta virus, bird flu, and Americans will panic easily so everybody's running around scrubbing this and spraying that and overcooking their food and repeatedly washing their hands, trying to avoid all contact with germs. It's ridiculous and it goes to ridiculous lengths.

In prisons, before they give you lethal injection, they swab your arm with ALCOHOL. Wouldn't want some guy to go to hell AND be sick. Fear of germs, why these farkin' pussies. You can't even get a decent hamburger anymore they cook the shiat out of everything now 'cause everyone's afraid of FOOD POISONING! Hey, wheres you sense of adventure? Take a farkin' chance will you? Hey you know how many people die of food poisoning in this country? Nine thousand, thats all, its a minor risk.

Take a farkin' chance bunch of goddamn pussies. Besides, what d'ya think you have an immune system for? It's for killing germs! But it needs practice, it needs germs to practice on. So if you kill all the germs around you, and live a completely sterile life, then when germs do come along, you're not gonna be prepared. And never mind ordinary germs, what are you gonna do when some super virus comes along that turns your vital organs into liquid shiat?! I'll tell you what your gonna do ... you're gonna get sick. You're gonna die and your gonna deserve it because you're farking weak and you got a farkin' weak immune system!

Let me tell you a true story about immunization ok. When I was a little boy in New York city in the nineteen-forties, we swam in the Hudson river. And it was filled with raw sewage! OK? We swam in raw sewage, you know, to cool off. And at that time the big fear was polio. Thousands of kids died from polio every year. But you know something? In my neighborhood no one ever got polio. No one! EVER! You know why? Cause WE SWAM IN RAW SEWAGE! It strengthened our immune system, the polio never had a prayer. We were tempered in raw shiat!

So personally I never take any precautions against germs. I don't shy away from people who sneeze and cough. I don't wipe off the telephone, I don't cover the toilet seat, and if I drop food on the floor I pick it up and eat it! Even if I'm at side walk cafe! IN CALCUTTA! THE POOR SECTION! ON NEW YEARS MORNING DURING A SOCCER RIOT! And you know something? In spite of all the so called "risky behavior ".... I never get infections. I don't get em. I don't get colds, I don't get flu, I don't get headaches, I don't get upset stomach, And you know why? Cause I got a good strong immune system! And it gets a lot of practice!

My immune system is equipped with the biological equivalent of fully automatic military assault rifles, with night vision and laser scopes. And we have recently acquired phosphorous grenades, cluster bombs and anti personnel fragmentation mines.

So, when my white blood cells are on patrol reconnoitering my blood stream seeking out strangers and other undesirables, and if they see any, ANY, suspicious looking germs of any kind, THEY DON'T. fark. AROUND. They whip out the weapons, they wax the motherfarker and deposit the unlucky fellow directly into my colon! Into my colon. There's no nonsense! There's no miranda warning, there's none of that three strikes and your out bullshiat. First defense, BAM! Into the colon you go!

And speaking of my colon, I want you to know I don't automatically wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom. Can you deal with that? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. You know when I wash my hands? When I shiat on them! That's the only time. And you know how many times that happens? Tops-tops-two maybe three times a week. Tops! Maybe a little more frequently over the holidays. You know what I mean?

And I will tell you something else, my well-scrubbed friends. You don't always need a shower every day. Did you know that?? It's overkill! Unless you work out, or work outdoors, or for some reason come in intimate contact with huge amounts of filth and garbage every day, you don't always need a shower.

All you really need is to wash the four key areas: armpits, asshole, crotch and teeth! Got that? The hookers bath. Armpits, asshole, crotch and teeth. In fact, you can save yourself a whole lot of time if you simply use the same brush on all four areas!"
 
2012-09-08 01:36:02 AM  
issues....you have them
 
2012-09-08 01:36:25 AM  
Wow, I need to come around here more often. I got my birthday notification from Jan. 1 when I went to post.
 
2012-09-08 01:37:38 AM  
i486.photobucket.com
'Sup.
 
2012-09-08 01:38:43 AM  
I don't think this is a repeat, but I swear something almost identical happened to a younger kid three or five months ago (and was listed at FARK).
 
2012-09-08 01:40:20 AM  

Hiymenator: Wow, I need to come around here more often. I got my birthday notification from Jan. 1 when I went to post.


One of us. One of us.

pictures.mastermarf.com
 
2012-09-08 01:40:30 AM  
A sewer drainpipe that big without a grate on it?! Yeesh. There's a video at HuffPo that's worth the watch. Seems like a pretty good kid. Relieved he's alright. Link
 
2012-09-08 01:43:09 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-09-08 01:44:02 AM  
In Cleveland that's called the Inner-Belt freeway.


\Remember to tip your waitresses folks.
\\I'm here all night.
 
2012-09-08 01:44:31 AM  

BronyMedic: Hiymenator: Wow, I need to come around here more often. I got my birthday notification from Jan. 1 when I went to post.

One of us. One of us.

[pictures.mastermarf.com image 671x556]


Ha! I've apparently been a farker for more than a decade, as of a couple of months ago. Probably should check in with my TF'er pals at some point. Long story short, been a while since I've had the time to fark again.
 
2012-09-08 01:45:05 AM  

weiner dog: A sewer drainpipe that big without a grate on it?! Yeesh. There's a video at HuffPo that's worth the watch. Seems like a pretty good kid. Relieved he's alright. Link


No he looks like dumb-ass.
 
2012-09-08 01:46:27 AM  
I remember thinking that was probably the length of five Ping-Pong tables.

/Not so good with the maths.
 
2012-09-08 01:47:17 AM  
During my second deployment to Iraq my company spent a lot of time walking around in a very rural area south of Baghdad, operating out of a half-finished Russian power plant. This area was very much the Third World, with only the most basic facilities; "toilets" were usually outhouses that drained into simple pits the locals covered with reeds. We all knew better than to step on the reed mats behind the outhouses, but about 3 or 4 months into the deployment we got a FNG, straight from Basic training except for about three months he spent training back at Fort Drum. He didn't know his ass from last Tuesday, and he certainly didn't know that the reed mats behind outhouses were not to be trodden upon. He stepped right on one and tumbled into a surprisingly deep pit with several years worth of Iraqi shiat. I used to have a picture of him in the aftermath, absolutely covered in shiat and with the most priceless expression on his face, but sadly I lost it when my computer crashed.

/CSB
 
2012-09-08 01:47:20 AM  
i.huffpost.com

Searching manholes - Lulz.
 
2012-09-08 01:47:47 AM  

Oldiron_79: Titt


Indeed (NSFW)

/I feel compelled to post this in every thread Morgan Freeman is mentioned
//Titty Sprinkles
 
2012-09-08 01:49:44 AM  

buzzcut73: Scary, but I doubt shiat was involved as he was sucked down a storm drain. Maybe that city has a combined system, but you don't see as many of those around as you used to.


shiat may have been involved but it just may have been his....which sucks because now you've gotta swirl in your own poo stew til helps arrives.
 
2012-09-08 01:53:56 AM  

Hiymenator: And speaking of my colon, I want you to know I don't automatically wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom. Can you deal with that? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. You know when I wash my hands? When I shiat on them! That's the only time. And you know how many times that happens? Tops-tops-two maybe three times a week. Tops! Maybe a little more frequently over the holidays. You know what I mean?

And I will tell you something else, my well-scrubbed friends. You don't always need a shower every day. Did you know that?? It's overkill! Unless you work out, or work outdoors, or for some reason come in intimate contact with huge amounts of filth and garbage every day, you don't always need a shower.


I feel the same way, I've disgusted a few people on fark when I tell them my reasoning behind not washing after every farking thing I do.

/I have a kick ass immune system.as well.
 
2012-09-08 01:55:25 AM  
"In my head I'm like, 'Thank you, Lord.' I was praying," Jeffrey said. "I'm a little bruised up, but I'm lucky to be alive."

Um...

Teen's all-powerful, all-knowing god lets him be swept into the storm drain.

Teen thanks God that a fireman had the persistence to keep opening manholes until he found him.

I don't think I like your god.
 
2012-09-08 02:04:20 AM  
Water go down the hole.
 
2012-09-08 02:10:30 AM  

Tenatra: Hiymenator: And speaking of my colon, I want you to know I don't automatically wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom. Can you deal with that? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. You know when I wash my hands? When I shiat on them! That's the only time. And you know how many times that happens? Tops-tops-two maybe three times a week. Tops! Maybe a little more frequently over the holidays. You know what I mean?

And I will tell you something else, my well-scrubbed friends. You don't always need a shower every day. Did you know that?? It's overkill! Unless you work out, or work outdoors, or for some reason come in intimate contact with huge amounts of filth and garbage every day, you don't always need a shower.

I feel the same way, I've disgusted a few people on fark when I tell them my reasoning behind not washing after every farking thing I do.

/I have a kick ass immune system.as well.


....You should probably wash your hands more often. Doo doo is gross.
 
2012-09-08 02:16:48 AM  
But the teen described his ride to ABC's "Good Morning America" on Thursday.

"It was dark, it was scary, it was nasty," Jeffrey said. "It was like somebody is putting you in a big whirlpool and spinning you around and getting your head knocked on the ground."


Wow. I knew the show sucked but I didn't know how bad their car service was.
 
2012-09-08 02:18:20 AM  

TomD9938: Shaggy_C: We used to crawl through the drainage system in town as kids

We did that as well.

Strangely, our day-care providers had a problem with that.


We called them the "The Tunnels", and they were our hangout for part of high (and I do mean HIGH) school. They were big enough that you could walk back about 1/8 of a mile before having to crawl, and every few hundred feet was a "room" (a manhole entrance or curb grate). It was in the desert Southwest, so the storm drains were dry (and relatively clean) for most of the year.

Hell, I got my first piece of ass in The Tunnels.
 
2012-09-08 02:37:47 AM  

Hiymenator: BronyMedic: Hiymenator: Wow, I need to come around here more often. I got my birthday notification from Jan. 1 when I went to post.

One of us. One of us.

[pictures.mastermarf.com image 671x556]

Ha! I've apparently been a farker for more than a decade, as of a couple of months ago. Probably should check in with my TF'er pals at some point. Long story short, been a while since I've had the time to fark again.


So how was prison?

And did u have to crawl through 500 yards of foul smelling shiat to get out ? Five hundred yards. That's the length of five football fields. Nearly half a mile.
 
2012-09-08 02:45:05 AM  

Biner: TomD9938: Shaggy_C: We used to crawl through the drainage system in town as kids

We did that as well.

Strangely, our day-care providers had a problem with that.

We called them the "The Tunnels", and they were our hangout for part of high (and I do mean HIGH) school. They were big enough that you could walk back about 1/8 of a mile before having to crawl, and every few hundred feet was a "room" (a manhole entrance or curb grate). It was in the desert Southwest, so the storm drains were dry (and relatively clean) for most of the year.

Hell, I got my first piece of ass in The Tunnels.


I hear the rats do get pretty big down there
 
2012-09-08 02:46:44 AM  

Biner: Hell, I got my first piece of ass in The Tunnels.


That tapeworm said the same thing about you.
 
2012-09-08 02:53:04 AM  

Uisce Beatha: Oldiron_79: Titt

Indeed (NSFW)

/I feel compelled to post this in every thread Morgan Freeman is mentioned
//Titty Sprinkles


feel free to post in every thread.
 
2012-09-08 02:54:34 AM  

Hiymenator: ....You should probably wash your hands more often. Doo doo is gross.


It may be gross but even if I wash my hands there I'm still going to come in contact with the same bacteria in my daily travels everywhere I go. It's on money, it's on my card too because I don't nuke my hands before using my debit card. Aside from that it is already exposed to the filth of other people when swiped through those machines that had hundreds of other cards in them too. Opening doors, pushing carts, typing on keyboard, etc, etc.

Also there are some things for you to note in the bathroom if you are concerned about me not washing my hands after using the bathroom. Flushing the toilet without the lid covered will suspend water particles in the air for ~2 hours. Yea, that means you are inhaling fecal matter (among other things) if you breath in the bathroom at all after flushing. The ceiling is covered in this bacteria because who the fark cleans the ceiling above their toilet. Your sink and everything on it gets covered with these same things. It can be reduced by using the lid, but what about public restrooms where lids are rarely used?

In public restrooms you are pretty much bathing in shiat particles, remember how I said they are suspended in the air for around 2 hours? I don't think that it is often that a public restroom goes unused for more than 2 hours. The walls of the stall are covered in this bacteria because of the mist being released when the toilet is flushed, as is the ceiling and toilet paper itself. Also if hot hand dryers are used, they actually accelerate germ growth rates.

I'm not going to wash my hands just to have the same damn germs hop back on me, I'd have to become a slave to hand sanitizers or soap.

/embrace the germs around you
 
2012-09-08 03:18:35 AM  

Shaggy_C: We used to crawl through the drainage system in town as kids..


In Vegas, some people call it home.

img.thesun.co.uk
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2012-09-08 03:42:17 AM  

BronyMedic: That boy crawled through over a mile and a half of the foulest water I could ever imagine. Why he chose enchalada night, I'll never know.

www.millionaireplayboy.com


What was with that movie, anyways?

Would a prison actually use a sanitary sewer emptying out into a ditch? Lacking a city sewer system, I figured you'd use a septic tank. But I dunno- what might a prison built in this era use? I know there was a time when it was fashionable to simply route the pipe to the nearest river, but the movie started in 1947, even though the construction of the prison would have preceded that.

Now a STORM sewer which carries runoff water would dump out somewhere. But that wouldn't likely run through a prison building. And in any case, the movie specified a pipe of shiat. And it wasn't flooded by the downpour depicted on-camera. Sanitary sewer.

Also, would a sanitary sewer have breathable air? It kinda seems unlikely. Sewer gases aren't just foul-smelling, they're toxic and you'd pass out very quickly. Sewer gases are hydrogen sulfide, ammonia, methane, carbon dioxide, sulfur dioxide, and nitrogen oxides- and very little oxygen.

The toilet end doesn't inject any fresh air into it, even if the far end were strangely open as shown, I don't think there's be much migrating back up the length of it. And 1500ft is far, far too long to go holding one's breath for.
 
2012-09-08 03:44:25 AM  
Did he retrieve his harmonica?
 
2012-09-08 05:03:42 AM  
"In my head I'm like......." - Like a Farkin' illiterate idiot?
 
2012-09-08 06:23:05 AM  

BronyMedic: Biner: Hell, I got my first piece of ass in The Tunnels.

That tapeworm said the same thing about you.


LOL. That might just explain why I've weighed 87 pounds all my adult life, despite being 6' 3" tall.
 
2012-09-08 07:39:50 AM  
FTA:

COLUMBUS, Ohio - An overflowing creek in a Cleveland suburb sent a 14-year-old boy on the ride of his life this week.

Wow. Cleveland must really be growing.
 
2012-09-08 08:08:45 AM  
I'll show you how to float down here.

thetwist03.files.wordpress.com

We ALL float down here!
 
2012-09-08 08:59:27 AM  
www.51allout.co.uk

Approves.
 
2012-09-08 09:28:26 AM  

KrispyKritter: /sorry Fark atheists, looks like you've lost one


Why did God throw the guy in the sewer to begin with?
 
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