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(Deadspin)   So, after all that, the coolest player in the NFL is the Minnesota Vikings' punter   (deadspin.com) divider line 86
    More: Cool, Chris Kluwe, Vikings, NFL, Brendon Ayanbadejo, Steve Bisciotti, medical leave, Baltimore Ravens, Jackie Robinson  
•       •       •

3698 clicks; posted to Sports » on 07 Sep 2012 at 4:12 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



86 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-09-07 04:03:58 PM  
This is written at an Awesome Grade Level.

ESPN better put on extra servers for all the fantasy team owners changing their team names to "Lustful Cockmonsters" today.
 
2012-09-07 04:06:13 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: ESPN better put on extra servers for all the fantasy team owners changing their team names to "Lustful Cockmonsters" today.


Oh, hey, don't mind if I do.
 
2012-09-07 04:07:15 PM  
To be fair subby, he was just defending Brendon Ayanbadejo, who has been a very vocal supporter of marriage equality.

Now saying that, Kluwe does an awesome job of tearing the guy a new asshole. Unfortunately, Mr. Burns is also a preacher, so the cursing will cause him to just think Kluwe was possessed by the devil and ignore it entirely.

/I sent a prayer request to Mr. Burns (on his church's website) asking him to pray for himself and his straight dumbass idea to send that letter, and his ignorant views on marriage equality
 
2012-09-07 04:10:39 PM  
Who mentioned Kluwe in the original thread last night?
Thats right. Two thumbs pointing to this guy.
 
2012-09-07 04:17:06 PM  
so Chris Kluwe's the only reason to be a Vikings fan this year.
Oh well. I'll take what I can get.

Go Vikes.
 
mjg
2012-09-07 04:17:17 PM  
That's it. I'm getting a Kluwe jersey.

/he's winning teh webz
 
2012-09-07 04:17:33 PM  
"...you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain."

I so want to use this in a work related e-mail that it's killing me.
 
2012-09-07 04:19:02 PM  
Kluwe is an active Redditor at /r/NFL under the username Loate. He's been verified and has an extra-large Vikings flair (kind of like a fark tag). He's hilarious and answers good questions about punting and special teams, among other stuff. He even talked about this in the reddit thread and he posted in a large thread where newbies to the NFL can ask long-time viewers about rules and teams and whatever.

Check it out if you have the chance.
 
2012-09-07 04:19:56 PM  
He sounds gay.


NTTAWWT


Awesome letter to a backwards-ass moron. Well done, Kluwe.
 
2012-09-07 04:20:32 PM  
Dear Mr. Warcraft,

May all of your punts from this time forward be downed inside of the five yard line.

Sincerely,

kudayta
 
2012-09-07 04:23:06 PM  
Kluwe had some epic posts/tweets during NFL lockout. Guy is pure epicness.
 
2012-09-07 04:23:33 PM  
Sorry, that's supposed to be addressed to Mr. Kluwe. I haven't slept in a while.
 
2012-09-07 04:24:12 PM  

CastorTroy: "...you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain."

I so want to use this in a work related e-mail that it's killing me.


That's farking brilliant.
 
2012-09-07 04:24:28 PM  
That was awesome. Every homophobic rabble rouser deserves a letter just like that, along with ridicule in the public square.
 
2012-09-07 04:25:02 PM  
That was the most awesome thing I've read in... well, a while, I don't know, but it was awesome. Yes, yes, yes! Thanks subby!
 
2012-09-07 04:27:22 PM  
I've liked Chris Kluwe a lot since his contract with Donovan McNabb over his uniform #5:

"I, Chris Kluwe, hereby relinquish #5 to Donovan McNabb in exchange for the following:

*5 mentions of my band Tripping Icarus in non-consecutive press conferences
*$5,000 donation to Kick For A Cure to benefit Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy
*An ice cream cone"
 
2012-09-07 04:27:50 PM  
Lustful Cockmonster is my Whitesnake cover band.
 
2012-09-07 04:29:37 PM  
"This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom?"

i think I'm gay for this dude.
 
2012-09-07 04:30:31 PM  
golf clap
 
Byn
2012-09-07 04:33:50 PM  
I'm not a football fan, but I'm asking for a Kluwe jersey for Christmas.

And this:

"I, Chris Kluwe, hereby relinquish #5 to Donovan McNabb in exchange for the following:

*5 mentions of my band Tripping Icarus in non-consecutive press conferences
*$5,000 donation to Kick For A Cure to benefit Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy
*An ice cream cone"


Is ridonculously awesome.
 
2012-09-07 04:35:28 PM  
A small part of me wishes Kluwe would clean up his language ONLY for the fact that some of the topics he's willing to take on absolutely deserve a wider forum than places like Deadspin, and he's intelligent and naturally funny enough regardless for such to happen otherwise.

Again, it's just a small part of me. Most of me is in awe after reading things like this as-is.
 
2012-09-07 04:35:54 PM  
For those who might not have seen it last year, previous Kluwe excellence
 
2012-09-07 04:37:17 PM  
I am pretty sure Kluwe as been the coolest player on the Vikings for a long time as anyone who listens to the 93X morning show can contest.

/Go Purple
//Let's get this season off to a good start
///Go Chris Warcraft
 
2012-09-07 04:39:44 PM  

KJUW89: I've liked Chris Kluwe a lot since his contract with Donovan McNabb over his uniform #5:

"I, Chris Kluwe, hereby relinquish #5 to Donovan McNabb in exchange for the following:

*5 mentions of my band Tripping Icarus in non-consecutive press conferences
*$5,000 donation to Kick For A Cure to benefit Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy
*An ice cream cone"


On a related subject, fark Donovan McNabb.
 
2012-09-07 04:40:37 PM  
And yet, ironically, I think I just was turned into a lustful cockmonster.

/why are all the good punters either taken or straight?
 
2012-09-07 04:41:11 PM  
/the ViQueens still suck donkey balls as a team
//Chris Kluwe doesn't
///Kluwe for President 2016 (as a Republican, just to troll the Teabaggers)
 
2012-09-07 04:41:18 PM  

kudayta: Dear Mr. Warcraft,

May all of your punts from this time forward be downed inside of the five yard line.

Sincerely,

kudayta


The Packers play them twice a year, you shut your whore mouth with that talk.

///Hate the Vikings, think punters are the least important position on the field, love everything I have ever read that was written by Kluwe.
 
2012-09-07 04:41:30 PM  

CastorTroy: "...you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain."

I so want to use this in a work related e-mail that it's killing me.


Is fromunda like santorum?

/for some reason I don't want to google that.
 
2012-09-07 04:42:23 PM  
He is very outspoken, but pretty much never wrong. I liked his diagram on when its legal to hit players.
-Packers fan who thinks about getting this jersey.
 
mjg
2012-09-07 04:42:53 PM  

FreakinB: For those who might not have seen it last year, previous Kluwe excellence


THIS. Treat yourself and read the article.

/doesn't matter what team you cheer for
 
2012-09-07 04:44:47 PM  

thecpt: He is very outspoken, but pretty much never wrong. I liked his diagram on when its legal to hit players.
-Packers fan who thinks about getting this jersey.


I'm an Eagles fan, and am considering the same thing.
 
mjg
2012-09-07 04:45:09 PM  
I assume Kluwe is on Fark. Anyone know his login name?
 
2012-09-07 04:46:17 PM  

Arkanaut: CastorTroy: "...you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain."

I so want to use this in a work related e-mail that it's killing me.

Is fromunda like santorum?

/for some reason I don't want to google that.


It's a term for the product resulting from uncircumcised men with hygiene problems. If you can't figure it out from there, well, I'm glad I caused no mental scarring.

Also, go Kluwe. If jerseys weren't hideously expensive, I'd buy one of his.
 
2012-09-07 04:46:29 PM  

SilentStrider: Who mentioned Kluwe in the original thread last night?
Thats right. Two thumbs pointing to this guy.


I didn't happen to catch that thread. Got a link?
 
2012-09-07 04:46:45 PM  
Kluwe has a long history of being awesome. Here he is applying to a WoW guild:

http://www.flying-hellfish.com/index.php?name=PNphpBB2&file=viewtopic & t=4445

/I had to look up fromunda.
//I'm not a WoW player, but I found this quite entertaining when I first saw it.
///Also, not a Vikings fan.
 
2012-09-07 04:47:39 PM  
Oops, try this:

Link
 
2012-09-07 04:48:32 PM  

Kome: SilentStrider: Who mentioned Kluwe in the original thread last night?
Thats right. Two thumbs pointing to this guy.

I didn't happen to catch that thread. Got a link?


Link
 
2012-09-07 04:53:06 PM  

thecpt: I liked his diagram on when its legal to hit players.



Link?
 
2012-09-07 04:56:48 PM  

downstairs: thecpt: I liked his diagram on when its legal to hit players.


Link?


I can do one better.

cbssports.com
 
2012-09-07 04:58:35 PM  
Is there some kind of magical rock or orb that could protect me from these lustful cock-monsters? If so, I would pay $10 for one.
 
2012-09-07 05:17:48 PM  
Awesome. It should bother everyone, no matter your personal beliefs that Pastor Burns couldn't debate Ayenbadejo directly on this issue, but instead ran to his boss to try and silence him.

To go ahead and silence the trolls before they start, people started boycotting Chick-fil-A because corporate funds are being directly used to lobby for homophobic legislation. If the CEO of the company had been using his personal salary to lobby for those things, it would be a completely different story.
 
2012-09-07 05:29:43 PM  
Goddammit, that was... beautiful!
 
2012-09-07 05:32:43 PM  
I want to draft Kluwe and start him at every position.
 
2012-09-07 05:33:32 PM  
Greatest team roster photo EVER!!!

http://www.vikings.com/team/roster/Chris-Kluwe/57b37a1d-c889-49f8-81b 5 -5b79eae9a694
 
2012-09-07 05:34:15 PM  
Honestly, he comes off as a douchebag. I stopped reading after the first paragraph, and I'm sure the official will do the same.

If you can't talk to someone with an opposing view without being a condescending asshole, you probably didn't say anything worth hearing.
 
2012-09-07 05:38:08 PM  

kukukupo: Honestly, he comes off as a douchebag. I stopped reading after the first paragraph, and I'm sure the official will do the same.

If you can't talk to someone with an opposing view without being a condescending asshole, you probably didn't say anything worth hearing.


I feel sad for you then, because it is quite fantastic. And sometimes people need to be told to "shut the fark up" instead of using more polite terms.
 
2012-09-07 05:39:10 PM  

Lucksbane: Greatest team roster photo EVER!!!

http://www.vikings.com/team/roster/Chris-Kluwe/57b37a1d-c889-49f8-81b 5 -5b79eae9a694



Indeed:
 
prod.static.vikings.clubs.nfl.com
 
2012-09-07 05:42:44 PM  

kukukupo: If you can't talk to someone with an opposing view without being a condescending asshole, you probably didn't say anything worth hearing.


He wasn't replying to the delegate's personal position on the issue so much as the delegate's horrific overreach in trying to use his political muscle to shut down an opposing viewpoint.

I mean, you do see the difference, correct?
 
2012-09-07 05:44:23 PM  
 
2012-09-07 05:51:53 PM  

plushpuppy: hilarious picture on vikings website


lol, also from his profile.

"off the field Known for his Guitar Hero skills"
 
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