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(WWSB ABC 7)   Burglar apprehended before he had a chance to use his "hood speed" to get away   (mysuncoast.com ) divider line
    More: Florida, FPL, bucket truck, Chevy Silverado, burglary, Cornelius McClern  
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6167 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Sep 2012 at 7:31 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-09-06 06:17:22 PM  
53 felony charges in 22 years? Now this is a guy who's done something with his life.
 
2012-09-06 06:18:56 PM  
outrun the deputy using his "hood speed" if the deputy didn't have his Taser out.

dailybail.com
 
2012-09-06 06:49:09 PM  
img94.imageshack.us


It makes the car go faster
 
2012-09-06 06:59:44 PM  

The Onion is prophetic: 53 felony charges in 22 years? Now this is a guy who's done something with his life.


What the hell is that guy doing walking the streets? Some dude getting busted for pot gets put away forever, and this guy is out on the streets?
 
2012-09-06 07:03:11 PM  
It's short for "hoodie speed"...powered by Skittles.
 
2012-09-06 07:36:09 PM  
"Hood at half-speed, ensign."
 
2012-09-06 07:37:16 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: It's short for "hoodie speed"...powered by Skittles.


"Hoods aren't powered by Skittles, they're powered with minds; check hoods."
 
2012-09-06 07:37:23 PM  

DanZero: [img94.imageshack.us image 505x379]

It makes the car go faster


www.all-about-laughter.com
 
2012-09-06 07:38:11 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: It's short for "hoodie speed"...powered by Skittles.


Hoodies are usually shot by hispanics.
 
2012-09-06 07:43:42 PM  

WorldCitizen: The Onion is prophetic: 53 felony charges in 22 years? Now this is a guy who's done something with his life.

What the hell is that guy doing walking the streets? Some dude getting busted for pot gets put away forever, and this guy is out on the streets?


This. Serious, 3 strike laws might have some problems, but nobody deserves 53 strikes (well, OK, maybe not all of those were convictions, but come on).
 
2012-09-06 07:44:04 PM  
i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-09-06 07:49:14 PM  
burglar? don't you mean boogers

www.averyswellidea.com
 
2012-09-06 07:50:47 PM  

WorldCitizen: The Onion is prophetic: 53 felony charges in 22 years? Now this is a guy who's done something with his life.

What the hell is that guy doing walking the streets? Some dude getting busted for pot gets put away forever, and this guy is out on the streets?


Its cause the jails are full of potheads.
 
2012-09-06 07:51:32 PM  

way south: WorldCitizen: The Onion is prophetic: 53 felony charges in 22 years? Now this is a guy who's done something with his life.

What the hell is that guy doing walking the streets? Some dude getting busted for pot gets put away forever, and this guy is out on the streets?

Its cause the jails are full of potheads.


Good laws, no?
 
2012-09-06 07:55:38 PM  

The Onion is prophetic: 53 felony charges in 22 years? Now this is a guy who's done something with his life.


Hey, cut him a break. He discovered hood speed.
 
2012-09-06 07:59:01 PM  

MAYORBOB: The Onion is prophetic: 53 felony charges in 22 years? Now this is a guy who's done something with his life.

Hey, cut him a break. He discovered hood speed.


"Sir he's starting to shake like The Flash. I think he's going to vibrate his way out of the jail cell!"

"No you dumbass, that's just the withdrawals."
 
2012-09-06 07:59:03 PM  
Can't find a pic of Will Smith chasing that alien in MIB. Google fail. :(
 
2012-09-06 08:01:09 PM  
Props to a cop for sitting in a cramped area for 3 and a half hours to catch a criminal. I didn't know cops did real work anymore.
 
2012-09-06 08:02:37 PM  
Your hood speed is no match for my suburb dexterity.
 
2012-09-06 08:04:30 PM  

Subdue their bellies: Your hood speed is no match for my suburb dexterity.


but how else do they know it's a HYNDUAI???

www.imcdb.org
 
2012-09-06 08:12:45 PM  
wonder how many set-ups & how much snitching it takes to stay a free man with that impressive record.

/rat with a very long tale
 
2012-09-06 08:18:03 PM  
d1lolb6yyp8wyu.cloudfront.net

How about ghetto speed instead
 
2012-09-06 08:27:11 PM  
"And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling electrons!"
 
2012-09-06 08:29:46 PM  

WorldCitizen: The Onion is prophetic: 53 felony charges in 22 years? Now this is a guy who's done something with his life.

What the hell is that guy doing walking the streets? Some dude getting busted for pot gets put away forever, and this guy is out on the streets?


You should know, since you're currently serving a life sentence for that last joint you got caught with.
 
2012-09-06 08:30:48 PM  

Cornelius was a fearless lawbreaker
Jail threats? Please! You couldn't make him quake-r!
But tonight,his sudden need,
To rely on "hood speed"
Promptly led him to "Deputy Dawg" Baker

 
2012-09-06 08:31:38 PM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: [d1lolb6yyp8wyu.cloudfront.net image 300x300]

How about ghetto speed instead


"Ghetto speed, ensign; drop shields."
 
2012-09-06 08:32:26 PM  

Apos: Cornelius was a fearless lawbreaker
Jail threats? Please! You couldn't make him quake-r!
But tonight,his sudden need,
To rely on "hood speed"
Promptly led him to "Deputy Dawg" Baker


Derp.
 
2012-09-06 08:55:09 PM  
If anyone even resembling a white person had said "hood speed" there would have been riots.
 
2012-09-06 08:58:08 PM  
Holy farking shiat! Just farking hang that moon cricket and be done with it.
 
2012-09-06 08:58:52 PM  
The reason all those potheads get caught is they rely on Harry Hood speed.

"Driver, wash your feet and drive me to Firenze!"
 
2012-09-06 09:00:52 PM  

T.M.S.: The reason all those potheads get caught is they rely on Harry Hood speed.

"Driver, wash your feet and drive me to Firenze!"


*blink* in.
 
2012-09-06 09:00:55 PM  
Hood speed didn't work against the Bismark.
 
2012-09-06 09:01:29 PM  

sickbeef: Holy farking shiat! Just farking hang that moon cricket and be done with it.


Do it, and the moon will collide with you, personally.
 
2012-09-06 09:02:54 PM  

Point02GPA: Hood speed didn't work against the Bismark.


Sinkable? Assuredly.

Worthy of capture?
 
2012-09-06 09:07:42 PM  

Indubitably: Point02GPA: Hood speed didn't work against the Bismark.

Sinkable? Assuredly.

Worthy of capture?


Nahh...it's the bottom of the sea for 'er!
 
2012-09-06 09:11:00 PM  

Point02GPA: Indubitably: Point02GPA: Hood speed didn't work against the Bismark.

Sinkable? Assuredly.

Worthy of capture?

Nahh...it's the bottom of the sea for 'er!


Not anymore, friend, we must salvage her. She's worthy of that at least...

;)
 
2012-09-06 09:14:12 PM  

halB: Props to a cop for sitting in a cramped area for 3 and a half hours to catch a criminal. I didn't know cops did real work anymore.


If I were to guess, I'd say FPL paid the cop to be there. Pay for their overtime, and they'll guard anything you want.
 
2012-09-06 09:15:48 PM  
Indubitably~

Ahhh Mate, at least.
 
2012-09-06 09:41:30 PM  
 
2012-09-06 09:54:03 PM  
media.comicvine.com
 
2012-09-06 10:30:48 PM  
"hood speed" - laughable
"ghetto speed" - pathetic

cdn.motinetwork.net

Now THAT'S speed...
 
2012-09-07 01:08:42 AM  
53 felony arrests, released from prison earlier this year, arrested on June for burglary, and somehow out on bail again? Yep gotta keep potheads in prison, but asshats like this get numerous chances...seems fair.
 
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