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(National Enquirer)   Queen asks Prince Harry to take DNA test and prove he's actually her grandson   (nationalenquirer.com) divider line 172
    More: Unlikely, Prince Harry, DNA testing  
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16807 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Sep 2012 at 9:44 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-06 04:44:51 AM
Dear Queen Elizabeth,

As much as I sympathize with your thoughts on disowning this spoiled little brat, I am not sure you want to open the English Royal family up to any genetic testing. There is no telling who you guys are related to, and how many "commoners" you might find in your blood lines.

Just a thought,

An American
 
2012-09-06 09:11:33 AM

mr_a: Dear Queen Elizabeth,

As much as I sympathize with your thoughts on disowning this spoiled little brat, I am not sure you want to open the English Royal family up to any genetic testing. There is no telling who you guys are related to, and how many "commoners" you might find in your blood lines.

Just a thought,

An American


You realize that this is from the National Enquirer, right?
 
2012-09-06 09:14:08 AM
The National Inquirer...
Bad subby!

/As soon as Harry popped out with red hair Charles would have tested him. Although you got to hand it to Charles for continuing to raise the kid as his own, after he had Dianna killed.

//amidoinitright?
 
2012-09-06 09:22:44 AM

mr_a: Dear Queen Elizabeth,

As much as I sympathize with your thoughts on disowning this spoiled little brat, I am not sure you want to open the English Royal family up to any genetic testing. There is no telling who you guys are related to, and how many "commoners" you might find in your blood lines.

Just a thought,

An American




Dear mr_a,

DNA testing does not work that way.


Just a friendly tip,

A random commoner
 
2012-09-06 09:40:57 AM
He looks like he'd be fun for a roll in the hay. I'll get as many DNA samples as needed.
 
2012-09-06 09:49:27 AM

RexTalionis: mr_a: Dear Queen Elizabeth,

As much as I sympathize with your thoughts on disowning this spoiled little brat, I am not sure you want to open the English Royal family up to any genetic testing. There is no telling who you guys are related to, and how many "commoners" you might find in your blood lines.

Just a thought,

An American

You realize that this is from the National Enquirer, right?


"Best investigative reporting on the planet. But go ahead, read the New York Times if you want. They get lucky sometimes. "
 
2012-09-06 09:52:16 AM
Here is your DNA test results:
img843.imageshack.us
 
2012-09-06 09:52:22 AM
njmg.typepad.com

/oblig
 
2012-09-06 09:52:25 AM
We're green-lighting the National Enquirer now? Really?

/ Drew, stop wasting our ti... er... dammit, you know what I mean!
 
2012-09-06 09:52:26 AM
The seed is strong.
 
2012-09-06 09:53:01 AM
enquirer breaks news, the new york times regurgitates whatever the white house feeds them.
 
2012-09-06 09:53:16 AM
So she asks for a paternity test after she sees his grown penis in a picture? Seems legit.
 
2012-09-06 09:53:35 AM
American soldiers submit to a DNA test -- I assume so that body parts can later be identified. I'm guessing that the Brits do the same. The DNA sample has been taken... someone just needs to have a look at it.
 
2012-09-06 09:53:41 AM
6 seconds. Damn.
 
2012-09-06 09:56:53 AM
" The content of this website is not available in your area. " 

I didn't know there was a region code for fabricated "news" stories.
 
2012-09-06 09:58:50 AM
To be fair to the Enquirer:

Shyla: [img843.imageshack.us image 349x200]


Yeah, this.
 
2012-09-06 09:58:52 AM
Cant she just order her knights to go get some of his DNA? I'm sure Elton John could get some out of the boy.
 
2012-09-06 10:01:18 AM
assets.rollingstone.com

John Deacon...you ARE the father!
 
2012-09-06 10:01:32 AM
I just want to point out once again that it was an offensive costume party, which means a nazi costume would be appropriate.
 
2012-09-06 10:01:37 AM
" The content of this website is not available in your area. "

I'm in Australia. What the hell is this?
 
2012-09-06 10:02:26 AM
First they came with Mail Online, and I kept silent.

Now National Enquirer!!
 
2012-09-06 10:02:29 AM

nero_design: " The content of this website is not available in your area. "

I'm in Australia. What the hell is this?


Maybe your country has the good sense to censor the Enquirer?
 
2012-09-06 10:02:32 AM
Who needs a DNA test, just look at those pictures.

You'd have to prove me that he's NOT that dude's kid.
 
2012-09-06 10:03:01 AM
Why?'

They already know. They lucked in when the baby was born white (despite gingery genes) and not some hairy brown baby from screwing some A-rab mooslim.
 
2012-09-06 10:04:51 AM
The National Enquirer did break the John Edwards scandal. They do get it right occasionally.
 
2012-09-06 10:05:09 AM
There's no way, *no* way that you came from *my* loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!
 
2012-09-06 10:05:36 AM

gopher321: mr_a: Dear Queen Elizabeth,

As much as I sympathize with your thoughts on disowning this spoiled little brat, I am not sure you want to open the English Royal family up to any genetic testing. There is no telling who you guys are related to, and how many "commoners" you might find in your blood lines.

Just a thought,

An American



Dear mr_a,

DNA testing does not work that way.


Just a friendly tip,

A random commoner


I'm sure the royal ladies of times past thought they were getting just the friendly tip as well.
 
2012-09-06 10:06:42 AM

FarkedOver: The National Enquirer did break the John Edwards scandal. They do get it right occasionally.


Meh. Blind nuts finding a squirrel. Once.
 
2012-09-06 10:07:31 AM

FarkedOver: The National Enquirer did break the John Edwards scandal. They do get it right occasionally.


They have broken quite a few others also. They are not the same rag that they used to be in the 80's.

But I'm pretty sure it would be easy for them to get a sample of his DNA without him even knowing to run a test.
 
2012-09-06 10:08:54 AM
Well the Queen's family had actual Nazis. So if she wants something to be embarrassed about all she has to do is read the family newsletter.

Poor Harry (well, as poor as a rich kid can be). He does (despite dressing up like a Nazi as an offensive costume party) seem like a nice guy and the people who have served with him seem to love him.
 
2012-09-06 10:10:04 AM
I, as an Irishman, personally think it's kind of funny that the Englishroyal family are really a bunch of Germans
 
2012-09-06 10:12:53 AM

Crewmannumber6: I, as an Irishman, personally think it's kind of funny that the Englishroyal family are really a bunch of Germans


Why is that funny from the viewpoint of an Irishman? I would think you really wouldn't give a shiat about the British royal family.
 
2012-09-06 10:15:22 AM

Crewmannumber6: I, as an Irishman, personally think it's kind of funny that the Englishroyal family are really a bunch of Germans


I just realized that whenever I hear anyone say "Germans", I hear it in James May's voice.

/ Germans.
 
2012-09-06 10:15:41 AM

love_alice: American soldiers submit to a DNA test -- I assume so that body parts can later be identified. I'm guessing that the Brits do the same. The DNA sample has been taken... someone just needs to have a look at it.


An unauthorized test of the sample in the military storage would have very severe legal problems. Sure the tabloids will give you millions, but it would come at a cost of jail time and the government could probably make the convict forfeit the earnings from illegal activities anyways. Even just stealing a hair from a comb could mean a violation of privacy laws, but they certainly are not as serious as violating a breech of a military establishment.

The DNA sample would be pretty worthless without a sample from some other sample from Charles or some other close blood relative of Charles to compare with. It would be best to use DNA from Charles as then we don't have to assume that Charles's "father" is really his father and so on. Having a sample from the alleged "true" father of Prince Harry would be very useful as well.
 
2012-09-06 10:15:53 AM

Cythraul: Crewmannumber6: I, as an Irishman, personally think it's kind of funny that the Englishroyal family are really a bunch of Germans

Why is that funny from the viewpoint of an Irishman? I would think you really wouldn't give a shiat about the British royal family.


Only as far as vicariously enjoying stupid shiat like this
 
2012-09-06 10:18:21 AM
He looks like Charles

www.themortonreport.com
 
2012-09-06 10:19:12 AM
Oh good, I"m glad everyone remembered to post that ONE picture in all of the internet that shows that Prince Harry looks little bit like that guy his mother had an affair with. Now make sure you don't post any of the pictures of any of his real relatives that he looks like, make some snotty remarks about English royalty, and......OK, I guess we're all done here.

James Hewitt (born 1958) is a former British household cavalry officer in the British Army. He had an affair with Diana, Princess of Wales for five years, receiving extensive media coverage after revealing details of the affair.
Persistent suggestions have been made in the media that Hewitt, and not Charles, is the biological father of Prince Harry. However, Hewitt stated to the press in 2003 that Harry had already been born by the time the affair between him and Diana began (a statement corroborated by Diana's police bodyguard).
 
2012-09-06 10:23:05 AM
I'm pretty sure the royal family would rather just leave this one up to speculation, rather than risk opening THAT can of worms.
 
2012-09-06 10:25:10 AM

Catymogo1: I'm pretty sure the royal family would rather just leave this one up to speculation, rather than risk opening THAT can of worms.


The queen must have seen something, um, familiar, in those photos
 
2012-09-06 10:25:56 AM

Cythraul: Crewmannumber6: I, as an Irishman, personally think it's kind of funny that the Englishroyal family are really a bunch of Germans

Why is that funny from the viewpoint of an Irishman? I would think you really wouldn't give a shiat about the British royal family.


Of course an Irishman would give a shiat, I think Ireland is about due for another genocidal invasion from those english twats.
 
2012-09-06 10:29:34 AM

tzzhc4: He looks like Charles

[www.themortonreport.com image 380x292]


Well they are both grey colored. How do you explain that?
 
2012-09-06 10:32:22 AM
In related news, Prince Toothy MacEars not required to prove his heritage.
 
2012-09-06 10:35:54 AM

nero_design: " The content of this website is not available in your area. "

I'm in Australia. What the hell is this?


It is the smallest continent, located south and east of the IndoChina land bridge. Mostly desert. A few random drunks are congregated along the south and eastern coasts, with outposts dead center on the north and west coasts. There is an unremarkable rock in the middle that for some reason draws tourists from far and wide. Lots of stuff that will kill you for looking at it the wrong way. Also lots of poisonous plants and animals. Kangaroos, wallabies, and dingoes.
 
2012-09-06 10:37:09 AM

H31N0US: nero_design: " The content of this website is not available in your area. "

I'm in Australia. What the hell is this?

It is the smallest continent, located south and east of the IndoChina land bridge. Mostly desert. A few random drunks are congregated along the south and eastern coasts, with outposts dead center on the north and west coasts. There is an unremarkable rock in the middle that for some reason draws tourists from far and wide. Lots of stuff that will kill you for looking at it the wrong way. Also lots of poisonous plants and animals. Kangaroos, wallabies, and dingoes.


....but that's not important now.
 
2012-09-06 10:37:42 AM

H31N0US: nero_design: " The content of this website is not available in your area. "

I'm in Australia. What the hell is this?

It is the smallest continent, located south and east of the IndoChina land bridge. Mostly desert. A few random drunks are congregated along the south and eastern coasts, with outposts dead center on the north and west coasts. There is an unremarkable rock in the middle that for some reason draws tourists from far and wide. Lots of stuff that will kill you for looking at it the wrong way. Also lots of poisonous plants and animals. Kangaroos, wallabies, and dingoes.


Dude. Wrong country. Australia is where Hitler is from.
 
2012-09-06 10:40:06 AM

rudemix: So she asks for a paternity test after she sees his grown penis in a picture? Seems legit.


In all fairness it's a bit large for a Windsor.
 
2012-09-06 10:40:48 AM
i.imgur.com

ALERT THE PRESS
 
2012-09-06 10:41:57 AM
I'm not buying this poop. If a DNA test was in order, it would have been done years ago.
That kid has Windsor blood in him, look at the nose, the close-set eyes.. He looks just like a cross between his gramma and his uncle.

i28.photobucket.com
i28.photobucket.com
i28.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-06 10:44:05 AM
No. 3 in line, not a big risk. Way more of a scandal to start talking about little things like paternity. He's Chuck's kid and he'll never be King and everyone is fine with that.

/ National Enquirer? Really?
// Harry seems like a real person, which is kinda cool. I mean, real person with a fark-load of cash anyway...
 
2012-09-06 10:51:07 AM
Okay, look, here's the thing... Well, a few things...

The British royals are a bunch of inbred lunatics who stole their people's money for centuries. I'm sorry... They collected taxes to pay for the wars that Britain was waging across the entire globe. The people, for the most part, still revere them despite this fact.

It was said, at one time, that the sun never set on the British Empire. Now it can safely be said that it sets roughly at 7:00 GMT.

In the end, who really cares that this one spoiled little dude was partying with his wanker out. I don't think there is a single one of you reading this that wouldn't have done the same thing - for years on end. Unless you don't have a wanker. In that case, it would be boobies.

//End rant
 
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