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(The Daily Dolt)   The Democrats remove the word "God" from their official platform. Conservatives react with nuance and tolerance. Just kidding, they're already saying the heathen Dems are waging a "War on God"   (thedailydolt.com) divider line 155
    More: Amusing, Democrats, god, Freak Out  
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1575 clicks; posted to Politics » on 05 Sep 2012 at 8:19 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-05 08:55:59 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
"I don't want bread made out of stones, but thanks for offering, Republican."
 
2012-09-05 08:56:27 AM
"Take heed that you do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. For then you will have your reward from your Father in heaven, and a tax deduction here on Earth. Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, sound a trumpet before you in the megachurches and in the streets, that you may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, claim your just reward. And when you do a charitable deed, let your left hand prepare a press release as the right hand gives forth the donation, that your charitable deed may be well publicized; and your Father who sees will Himself reward you openly, according to the Prosperity Gospel.

"And when you pray, you shall not be like the moderates or liberals. For they love to pray in their rooms, after shutting their doors, praying as though God is in a secret place and as though public displays of self-righteousness were vainglorious and vulgar. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you pray, do it standing in the megachurches and on the corners of the streets, that you may be seen by men. And your Father who loves good PR will reward you openly. And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.

Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. In this God-approved repetitious manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done
On earth by the GOP.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
As we monetize our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from liberalism.
For the GOP is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.
Amen.

"For if you rebuke the liberals for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not relentlessly attack the libtards and everything they stand for, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
 
2012-09-05 08:56:44 AM
Good, glad to hear the democrats are not going to cater to the talibornagains. The only people who aren't concerned about the GOP using religion as a party plank are the morons who have never opened a history book n their lives.
 
2012-09-05 08:58:05 AM
To quote "Rosemary's Baby," - - "Oh, shut up about your god."
 
2012-09-05 09:02:11 AM

Forbidden Doughnut: Cythraul: I'm a borderline Atheist (See "Agnostic"), so I'd refuse to say that 'god bless' crap, and, although I think the U.S. is still one of the best nations on Earth, it is still only ONE of the best nations on Earth. I don't buy into this 'American Exceptionalism' BS.

*internet fistbump*

I'm with you. Also seems odd to me that some people on the right seem to regard the US Flag like a religious icon. ( I remember that BS controversy from the late 80's)

If I were Christian, I would think holding symbols of the State in such regard would be akin to blasphemy.

/ not that it shouldn't be shown respect, just like anyone else's flag (eg. Union Jack, the Maple Leaf flag, the German Bundesflagge, ect,ect)


They get around the blasphemy charge by forcefully insisting that America is God's chosen nation. That absolves us of all charges.
 
2012-09-05 09:03:37 AM

GilRuiz1: And even that, apparently, is not enough, as "Atheists plan protest at Democratic National Convention today."


They want to protest the need for separation of religion from government? The nerve of those people!
 
2012-09-05 09:07:03 AM

Serious Black: Forbidden Doughnut: Cythraul: I'm a borderline Atheist (See "Agnostic"), so I'd refuse to say that 'god bless' crap, and, although I think the U.S. is still one of the best nations on Earth, it is still only ONE of the best nations on Earth. I don't buy into this 'American Exceptionalism' BS.

*internet fistbump*

I'm with you. Also seems odd to me that some people on the right seem to regard the US Flag like a religious icon. ( I remember that BS controversy from the late 80's)

If I were Christian, I would think holding symbols of the State in such regard would be akin to blasphemy.

/ not that it shouldn't be shown respect, just like anyone else's flag (eg. Union Jack, the Maple Leaf flag, the German Bundesflagge, ect,ect)

They get around the blasphemy charge by forcefully insisting that America is God's chosen nation. That absolves us of all charges.


Thats why Jesus was born here, amirite?
 
2012-09-05 09:07:10 AM

Parthenogenetic: "Take heed that you do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. For then you will have your reward from your Father in heaven, and a tax deduction here on Earth. Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, sound a trumpet before you in the megachurches and in the streets, that you may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, claim your just reward. And when you do a charitable deed, let your left hand prepare a press release as the right hand gives forth the donation, that your charitable deed may be well publicized; and your Father who sees will Himself reward you openly, according to the Prosperity Gospel.

"And when you pray, you shall not be like the moderates or liberals. For they love to pray in their rooms, after shutting their doors, praying as though God is in a secret place and as though public displays of self-righteousness were vainglorious and vulgar. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you pray, do it standing in the megachurches and on the corners of the streets, that you may be seen by men. And your Father who loves good PR will reward you openly. And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.

Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. In this God-approved repetitious manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done
On earth by the GOP.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
As we monetize our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from liberalism.
For the GOP is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.
Amen.

"For if you rebuke the liberals for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not relentlessly attack the libtards and everything they stand for, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."


And....favorited.
 
2012-09-05 09:09:39 AM
Democrats remove the word "God" from their official platform.

Republicans remove the word "Bush" from their official convention.
 
2012-09-05 09:11:42 AM
Good for the Dems.

Stupid Theocrats and their silly, stupid superstitions.
 
2012-09-05 09:12:46 AM
It's almost as if the Constitution doesn't mention God, Jesus, or Church.
 
2012-09-05 09:15:59 AM
The DERP-du-jour at least serves the purpose of revealing what GOPers are currently worried about for their own candidate; they just can't help but project so strongly and efficiently that they essentially mirror their own internal problems.

They must be getting worried about Mitt's kooky religious beliefs.
 
2012-09-05 09:16:09 AM
War against the Gods? I'm in...
 
2012-09-05 09:16:47 AM
As a christian, I am all for removing references to God from secular institutions. Seperation of church and state is paramount to individual rights.
 
2012-09-05 09:17:27 AM

bujin: It's almost as if the Constitution doesn't mention God, Jesus, or Church.


Let me preemptively intercept the incoming derp of "But it says in the Declaration of Independence 'endowed by their creator,'" which doesn't mean exactly what they think it means.
 
2012-09-05 09:20:59 AM
Not mentioning God in the party platform - War on God.

Saying Happy Holidays - War on Christmas

Introducing dozens of bills designed to limit women's reproductive rights and access to contraception: What war on women?
 
2012-09-05 09:23:37 AM
...of course they are. If the GOP were any more thin-skinned, Buffalo Bill could put Victoria's Secret out of business.
 
2012-09-05 09:23:47 AM
Hey GOP!! Jesus was a Progressive in his day. that's why folks like you stuck him on the cross.

duh!
 
2012-09-05 09:25:26 AM

MmmmBacon: This is awesome! "Rile 'em up, and let the Far Right expose their general horribleness to the rest of the country, then rince and repeat as necessary". That is masterful work on the part of the Dems.


it doesn't take much to get the Reich's panties in a twist.
 
2012-09-05 09:26:28 AM

karnal: Who needs God when you have Father Obama?

[akidabroad.files.wordpress.com image 450x632]



damn right! bow before your new Messiah.
 
2012-09-05 09:30:24 AM

LouDobbsAwaaaay: The War on God started when Dems fought for equal rights for women, gays, and minorities. God seems to hate those people.


lol. God always was a prejudiced guy.
 
2012-09-05 09:31:42 AM
mediamatters.org

This is important or whatever.
 
2012-09-05 09:37:46 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com

I BLAME THE JUICE!
 
2012-09-05 09:37:55 AM

Dusk-You-n-Me: [mediamatters.org image 300x300]

This is important or whatever.


Because Exodus 20:7.
 
2012-09-05 09:39:27 AM

magusdevil: Dusk-You-n-Me: [mediamatters.org image 300x300]

This is important or whatever.

Because Exodus 20:7.


Also Matthew 6:7
 
2012-09-05 09:39:35 AM
zerobs.net
 
2012-09-05 09:43:20 AM

silo123j: Big tent Dems, bring em all in under the big tent.

Just because "God" isn't in their platform, maybe a Jewish person wrote G-d. Or they wanted to be open to Muslims. Or pagans. Or Wiccans. Or his noodley appendages might bless everyone.

OR maybe we are just ok with who we are and where we are going that we don't need to invoke the name, just follow some good practices of treating everyone nicely. (which is what Jesus said, anyway)


...and was subsequently nailed to a tree.

//RIP Douglas Adams
 
2012-09-05 09:47:27 AM

magusdevil: Dusk-You-n-Me: [mediamatters.org image 300x300]

This is important or whatever.

Because Exodus 20:7.


"Me dammit, I said DON'T take my name in vain. DON'T: DO. NOT. *sigh*

Son, maybe I need you to reinforce the message. Tell them not to be so in-your-face. If people want the truth, if they're ready for it, they'll come to it. Being pushy about it will only make people resent the message and the messenger."

magusdevil: Also Matthew 6:7


*GOP convention*

"Me dammit."
 
2012-09-05 09:48:44 AM

Forbidden Doughnut: Cythraul: I'm a borderline Atheist (See "Agnostic"), so I'd refuse to say that 'god bless' crap, and, although I think the U.S. is still one of the best nations on Earth, it is still only ONE of the best nations on Earth. I don't buy into this 'American Exceptionalism' BS.

*internet fistbump*

I'm with you. Also seems odd to me that some people on the right seem to regard the US Flag like a religious icon. ( I remember that BS controversy from the late 80's)

If I were Christian, I would think holding symbols of the State in such regard would be akin to blasphemy.

/ not that it shouldn't be shown respect, just like anyone else's flag (eg. Union Jack, the Maple Leaf flag, the German Bundesflagge, ect,ect)


It's only the Union Jack if it's at sea

//Allons-y!
 
2012-09-05 09:51:27 AM

Dr Dreidel: magusdevil: Dusk-You-n-Me: [mediamatters.org image 300x300]

This is important or whatever.

Because Exodus 20:7.

"Me dammit, I said DON'T take my name in vain. DON'T: DO. NOT. *sigh*

Son, maybe I need you to reinforce the message. Tell them not to be so in-your-face. If people want the truth, if they're ready for it, they'll come to it. Being pushy about it will only make people resent the message and the messenger."

magusdevil: Also Matthew 6:7

*GOP convention*

"Me dammit."


Exactly.
How can we use the lord God's hallowed name for our personal gain?
Um, isn't that a sin?
Nonsense, boy, we're the Republican Party. We're above sin.
I'm pretty sure it's on the list. In fact it's number 3. If there were only 5 commandments, that'd still be one of them.
You know you're fired, right?
Of course, sir.
 
hej
2012-09-05 09:53:55 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-09-05 09:55:15 AM
Nobody expects the GOP inquisition!
 
2012-09-05 09:56:38 AM
God doesn't need politicians speaking up for him.
 
2012-09-05 09:57:59 AM
Well, if he existed, this seems like the perfect time to lay down some obvious and holy smiting. Unless he is a) not there of b) totally cool with not being involved with politics. Either way.
 
2012-09-05 09:58:01 AM

Cythraul: Mugato: Sure, referencing God in political speeches is silly (WTF does "God Bless America" even mean?) but people love it and right before the election isn't the time or place to stir that shiat up.

Anyway, all I know is I want to smack the smarmy douche who wrote TFA. He sounds like a real twat with an over-inflated sense of how funny he is.

I also noticed a lot of 'God Bless America' last night at the DNC. Also, a lot of 'we are the greatest nation on EARTH!' I'd make a HORRIBLE politician. I'm a borderline Atheist (See "Agnostic"), so I'd refuse to say that 'god bless' crap, and, although I think the U.S. is still one of the best nations on Earth, it is still only ONE of the best nations on Earth. I don't buy into this 'American Exceptionalism' BS.


So you hate America? Don't deny it. It's right there in black in white.
 
hej
2012-09-05 09:59:01 AM

quatchi: Are the Dems showing the atheists in their ranks some love here or are they simply trolling the GOP into another ill fated fauxrage campaign in which they once again look like the boy-who-cried-wolf's retarded brother?

Both?


This may or may (probably) not be related.
Atheists Advocate Separation of Church and State at DNC
 
2012-09-05 10:00:38 AM
"God" isn't the only word that the Dems are staying away from.....also not heard about yet are: "marriage penalties", "hefty surtax for small businesses" and "tax cuts to people who don't pay taxes".
 
2012-09-05 10:01:13 AM
I'm told that you can be religious without invoking the name of god every other sentence.

Proclaiming to be more of something then someone else because you say it more often is schoolyard bullshiat.

/The "P" in POTUS does not stand for "priest"
 
2012-09-05 10:01:40 AM
Also from the platform:

Faith. Faith has always been a central part of the American story, and it has been a driving force of progress and justice throughout our history. We know that our nation, our communities, and our lives are made vastly stronger and richer by faith and the countless acts of justice and mercy it inspires. Faith- based organizations will always be critical allies in meeting the challenges that face our nation and our world-from domestic and global poverty, to climate change and human trafficking. People of faith and religious organizations do amazing work in communities across this country and the world, and we believe in lifting up and valuing that good work, and finding ways to support it where possible. We believe in constitutionally sound, evidence-based partnerships with faith-based and other non-profit organizations to serve those in need and advance our shared interests. There is no conflict between supporting faith-based institutions and respecting our Constitution, and a full commitment to both principles is essential for the continued flourishing of both faith and country.
 
2012-09-05 10:05:56 AM

GAT_00: Nonsense, the Democrats aren't Klingons.


What would God need with a convention platform?
 
2012-09-05 10:06:55 AM
And we've got iron chariots. God is doomed.
 
2012-09-05 10:10:24 AM

quatchi: Are the Dems showing the atheists in their ranks some love here or are they simply trolling the GOP into another ill fated fauxrage campaign in which they once again look like the boy-who-cried-wolf's retarded brother?

Both?


Both
 
2012-09-05 10:12:16 AM

silo123j: Big tent Dems, bring em all in under the big tent.

Just because "God" isn't in their platform, maybe a Jewish person wrote G-d. Or they wanted to be open to Muslims. Or pagans. Or Wiccans. Or his noodley appendages might bless everyone.

OR maybe we are just ok with who we are and where we are going that we don't need to invoke the name, just follow some good practices of treating everyone nicely. (which is what Jesus said, anyway)


Mugato: Oh Christ, this is a bad time to take a stand on this bullshiat.


both QFT
 
2012-09-05 10:12:34 AM
GOOD.
 
2012-09-05 10:12:57 AM
I do hate the Democrats I've seen on TV trying to explain it as if it were a mistake "no, no, we're god-fearing, too!"

It would be better if it was embraced as inclusive move that was reflective of the American freedom of religion.
 
2012-09-05 10:14:13 AM
If I were weak enough to believe in god I would believe god is a woman.

Which would mean both the Republicans and Democrats are waging a War on Women.
 
2012-09-05 10:14:37 AM
Religion and the freedom to worship are well-addressed in the DNC's platform. Not to mention the topic of faith cited earlier.

i.imgur.com

PG. 21

i.imgur.com

PG. 37

The following words do not appear in the document:

God, Buddhism, Islam, Hindu, Shiva, Vishnu, Adonai, HaShem, Zeus.

The word Islam appears 3 times in the RNC's 2012 platform. Therefore, the RNC must be more favorable to the interests of Muslims, right?

i.imgur.com

Interestingly the word Israel appears 15 times. Contrast this to the RNC 2012 Platform, where the word Israel only appears 11 times. So this must mean the Democratic Party cares more about Israel, right?
 
2012-09-05 10:16:36 AM
The conservitards must be afraid God might lose.


Can God make a liberal army so powerful that even He can't defeat it?
 
2012-09-05 10:17:43 AM
I get that they were trying to drive Limbaugh and Co. into derp overdrive, but the DNC needs to be careful with this one. Christians are just shy of 80% of the population, including a lot of moderates and independents.

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Also from the platform:

Faith.


Oh... nevermind. Looks like it's covered.
 
2012-09-05 10:18:02 AM

Majick Thise: The conservitards must be afraid God might lose.


Can God make a liberal army so powerful that even He can't defeat it?


He sure can't make Tebo a better quarterback. And that dude even prays before each game.

This God dude just seems flaky.
 
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