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(News24)   Who wouldn't want a personal God that can be "personally summoned to organise parking at Sandton City"? That place is a godforsaken parking nightmare wasteland   (news24.com) divider line 36
    More: Strange, Sandton City, god, Christianity, eternal life, widows and orphans, Christian denominations, Windows NT, sales techniques  
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1967 clicks; posted to Geek » on 04 Sep 2012 at 5:06 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-04 04:34:50 PM
Jesus farking Christ, do we have to have another Xtian vs. Atheists thread. Same as it ever was, not a single drop of verifiable proof for the existence of god outside the imagination of Xtians.
 
2012-09-04 05:13:59 PM

Elzar: Jesus farking Christ, do we have to have another Xtian vs. Atheists thread. Same as it ever was, not a single drop of verifiable proof for the existence of god outside the imagination of Xtians.


over under on le trole popping up?

bevets has been oddly missing

gil ruiz for the photos

abb3w for comments that arcs over most farkers heads

me for inane commentary

everyone else for flame war
 
2012-09-04 05:29:38 PM
The "relationship with Christ" folks always make me think of that exchange from Good Will Hunting.

Sean: Do you have a soul mate?
Will: Define that.
Sean: Someone you can relate to, someone who opens things up for you.
Will: Sure, I got plenty.
Sean: Well, name them.
Will: Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost, O'Conner...
Sean: Well that's great. They're all dead.
Will: Not to me, they're not.
Sean: You can't have a lot of dialogue with them.
Will: Not without a heater and some serious smelling salts.
 
2012-09-04 05:30:21 PM
I have a parking buddha in my car, and you rub his belly for luck when looking for street parking.

Works every time.
 
2012-09-04 05:42:50 PM
The American God has priorities.

i159.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-04 05:50:48 PM
so, anyone else have Personal Jesus by Depeche mode playing in their head?
 
2012-09-04 05:51:15 PM

Elzar: Jesus farking Christ, do we have to have another Xtian vs. Atheists thread. Same as it ever was, not a single drop of verifiable proof for the existence of god outside the imagination of Xtians.


Well, I tend to find it interesting that these threads seem more likely to attract those that consider the concept of "evidence for God" to be an unreasonable demand than the very large number of people who consider "evidence for God" to be both present and overwhelming. Guess that's just another quirk of Fark's bubble.

...However, on topic, I will say that I don't think I've ever heard anyone on Fark ever attempt to use the "Christianity isn't a religion, it's a relationship" line. I know it gets a lot of play out in the wider world, but I can't recall that argument ever occurring here. The more prevalent tactic here is to just label everything as a "religion" to put theists and non-theists on the same plane, rather than to label Christianity as "not a religion" to place it on a different plane from all the other religions.
 
2012-09-04 06:31:30 PM
Christianity is a suicide pact.
 
2012-09-04 06:36:16 PM

loonatic112358: gil ruiz for the photos


I like this new one:

i224.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-04 06:40:59 PM

loonatic112358: so, anyone else have Personal Jesus by Depeche mode playing in their head?


Yep.

I wish we'd get back to polytheism. I liked it better when you had a specialist god you could go to for laserlike precision when you needed intercession in a particular aspect of your life, not this Jack-of-All-Trades bullshiat that monotheists have. If I have a corn problem, I want the Corn God on the line, not some Jehovah who's distracted by trying to cover a million different areas of endeavor.
 
2012-09-04 06:42:48 PM
"Christianity is not a religion, it is a personal relationship."

I don't think "personal relationships" get to raise money and remain tax-free. Thanks for clearing that up. Hope you can pay the back taxes from when you first became a "personal relationship", they could really be a biatch.
 
2012-09-04 06:46:36 PM

loonatic112358: so, anyone else have Personal Jesus by Depeche mode playing in their head?


Nope.

I do find this odd, as I've never heard it expressed that way: "We are defining religion in such a way as to make what we choose to call what we do not a religion." WhaTheGawDamHolMotFucHel? Are these the same intellectually constipated twunts that insist that non-theism is itself a belief system congruent to religion? Or do we now have two separate little groups of God's little soldiers, fervently waging a two-front war on reality using Humpty-Dumpty's copybook?

[Jesus was a Jew. Therefore he wasn't preaching the ONLY way to heaven, just the cheapest. Discuss.]

Christianity is based on faith. Douglas Adams covered that fairly well in the Hitchhiker's guide: Xtianity is all about faith, not works; the need for faith evaporates in the face of proof; lack of faith destroys Xtianity. This is also a crucial truth within the framework of Revelation, in which the return of JAIsus ends the existence of the Xtian church. And also why, if he does come back, some asshole who thought he would be different will up and kill him again.

I expect, if the Xtian JAIsus was the real deal, that he has been here over and over and over like a video game character with unlimited lives - hoping against hope that his next time saying "Respect what you have been given" and "Don't be a dick" won't get him nailed to a tree. 

/ good luck, little space jew
 
2012-09-04 06:53:03 PM

Meatybrain: I do find this odd, as I've never heard it expressed that way: "We are defining religion in such a way as to make what we choose to call what we do not a religion." WhaTheGawDamHolMotFucHel? Are these the same intellectually constipated twunts that insist that non-theism is itself a belief system congruent to religion? Or do we now have two separate little groups of God's little soldiers, fervently waging a two-front war on reality using Humpty-Dumpty's copybook?


I think you have two groups of people mixed up

i'd guess it has something to do with this 2nd definition under the google of religion "A particular system of faith and worship: "the world's great religions"." and a desire to get away from the system that christian churches seem to have become lately

or at least that's how the folks who've claimed that seem to explain it to me
 
2012-09-04 07:06:29 PM
Also, is the writer really having a cow over the "relationship not a religion" line? Was he not paying attention in Sunday School when they explained what that meant? Really?

Bonus picture:
i224.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-04 07:11:41 PM

Uzzah: I wish we'd get back to polytheism. I liked it better when you had a specialist god you could go to for laserlike precision when you needed intercession in a particular aspect of your life, not this Jack-of-All-Trades bullshiat that monotheists have. If I have a corn problem, I want the Corn God on the line, not some Jehovah who's distracted by trying to cover a million different areas of endeavor.


That's what the all the Saints are for. Seriously, there's a patron Saint for everything.
 
2012-09-04 07:24:49 PM
Christianity is the largest religion in the world.

I'll be darned, it really is if you include all the denominations. Meanwhile English is the #3 language.
 
2012-09-04 07:25:28 PM

NeoCortex42: That's what the all the Saints are for. Seriously, there's a patron Saint for everything.


Yes, but the Catholics are polytheists. They can deny it all they want, they're deluded (in more ways than one).
 
2012-09-04 07:25:31 PM

NeoCortex42: Uzzah: I wish we'd get back to polytheism. I liked it better when you had a specialist god you could go to for laserlike precision when you needed intercession in a particular aspect of your life, not this Jack-of-All-Trades bullshiat that monotheists have. If I have a corn problem, I want the Corn God on the line, not some Jehovah who's distracted by trying to cover a million different areas of endeavor.

That's what the all the Saints are for. Seriously, there's a patron Saint for everything.


Saints, schmaints. I don't want some bureaucrat saying "Hmm, I gotta ask my boss about this...." If I'm going to get down on my knees and pray, it's going to be to the guy who actually does the job.
 
2012-09-04 07:47:41 PM

t3knomanser: Yes, but the Catholics are polytheists.


...and members of other monotheistic religions have been known to argue the same thing about Christianity in general...
 
2012-09-04 07:59:13 PM
REACH OUT TOUCH FAITH
 
2012-09-04 08:02:10 PM

t3knomanser: Yes, but the Catholics are polytheists.


No they aren't. Saints have delegated power that ultimately comes from the Catholic God, but they aren't deities any more than a knight is a king or a sergeant a general.
 
2012-09-04 08:04:02 PM
Wut.
 
2012-09-04 08:07:04 PM

NeoCortex42: Uzzah: I wish we'd get back to polytheism. I liked it better when you had a specialist god you could go to for laserlike precision when you needed intercession in a particular aspect of your life, not this Jack-of-All-Trades bullshiat that monotheists have. If I have a corn problem, I want the Corn God on the line, not some Jehovah who's distracted by trying to cover a million different areas of endeavor.

That's what the all the Saints are for. Seriously, there's a patron Saint for everything.


Masturbation?
 
2012-09-04 08:25:07 PM
people would probably take christians more seriously if they threw conventions like ChristCon and cosplayed biblical figures while propagating hilarious religious memes like "LOL Angels" or "I can haz communion?". you know, as long as they told everyone they really didn't believe any of it was real.
 
2012-09-04 08:34:25 PM

Fish in a Barrel: NeoCortex42: Uzzah: I wish we'd get back to polytheism. I liked it better when you had a specialist god you could go to for laserlike precision when you needed intercession in a particular aspect of your life, not this Jack-of-All-Trades bullshiat that monotheists have. If I have a corn problem, I want the Corn God on the line, not some Jehovah who's distracted by trying to cover a million different areas of endeavor.

That's what the all the Saints are for. Seriously, there's a patron Saint for everything.

Masturbation?


Close. Saint Margaret of Cortona is the patron saint of sexual temptation.
 
2012-09-04 08:44:54 PM
I used to be religious. Now I'm more inclined to believe that God is just a programmer who has created this virtual simulation. If I can iron out the particulars of it all, I think I'll start a new religion. It could be fun to be a prophetess!
 
2012-09-04 09:08:29 PM

QT_3.14159: I used to be religious. Now I'm more inclined to believe that God is just a programmer who has created this virtual simulation.


Frankly, the Holodeck makes a hell of a lot more sense than anything in the Bible.
 
2012-09-04 09:52:22 PM
Christianity isn't a religion, it's a personal relationship with God. Atheism, though? Yeah, that's a religion.

/this is what (some) Christians actually believe
 
2012-09-04 10:10:38 PM

MrEricSir: Frankly, the Holodeck makes a hell of a lot more sense than anything in the Bible.


But if it's all happening in a holodeck, the bible could be a semi-accurate depiction of the events from the simulations perspective. Science only lets us record and learn from what is observable. How can the simulation observe something that exists outside itself? How can any interactions with a deity on a subconscious level be proven? How do we know that we're not just a giant MMO for all the angels and demons to rack up experience farking with?
 
2012-09-04 10:18:49 PM
 
2012-09-04 11:07:55 PM

Martian_Astronomer: t3knomanser: Yes, but the Catholics are polytheists.

...and members of other monotheistic religions have been known to argue the same thing about Christianity in general...


...while ignoring that they use one of their god's many names or aspects (72/99/108), depending on the task at hand. It becomes difficult to see how one god with different names for different needs (healer, bringer of justice, smiter, forgiver) is still understood as one being. Well, you could say it's god wearing different hats, since a person isn't only a mother or office drone, but then in a company one person doesn't do every job all the time. That's probably where belief in angels & saints come from, they're god's workforce.

Seems that polytheists are better at compartmentalizing than monotheists.
 
2012-09-04 11:31:49 PM
Did someone PAY that derp-monkey to write this article? Or is this some kind of News24-hosted blog? 'Cause that there was some weapons-grade stupid.
 
2012-09-04 11:46:39 PM

Son of Thunder: Did someone PAY that derp-monkey to write this article? Or is this some kind of News24-hosted blog? 'Cause that there was some weapons-grade stupid.


TFA: MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

Never mind.

I was blinded by the dumb.
 
2012-09-05 05:10:52 AM

Martian_Astronomer: ...However, on topic, I will say that I don't think I've ever heard anyone on Fark ever attempt to use the "Christianity isn't a religion, it's a relationship" line. I know it gets a lot of play out in the wider world, but I can't recall that argument ever occurring here. The more prevalent tactic here is to just label everything as a "religion" to put theists and non-theists on the same plane, rather than to label Christianity as "not a religion" to place it on a different plane from all the other religions.


Agreed. Here on Fark we argue whether atheism is a religion instead. :)
 
2012-09-05 05:47:10 AM

Uzzah: I wish we'd get back to polytheism. I liked it better when you had a specialist god you could go to for laserlike precision when you needed intercession in a particular aspect of your life, not this Jack-of-All-Trades bullshiat that monotheists have


About a billion Hindus would probably like to point out polytheism is alive and well in their part of the planet. Admittedly Sunday services might be kinda hard to find in your hometown, but here's a US list.

//I've often thought of checking out some of the Philly area churches we didn't have in rural Kentucky. Ever seen pictures of the inside of a Russian Orthodox church? So very different from the Bohon Church of Christ! There's one just a few miles away, and in 15 years I haven't gotten around to visiting. Now I know there are also 3 Hindu temples within a short drive. Atheists can still be respectful admirers of the human effort and art that go into places of worship. :)
 
2012-09-05 10:07:18 AM
I believe there is a God and it really annoys me when others calling themselves Christians are happy to talk about why their personal interpretation of the meaning of God's Work a.k.a. the Holy Bible is right, but when someone tries to challenge what they believe, they're reluctant to talk with their challenger if at all.
 
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