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(ABC)   Bear "epidemic" in the west. Stephen Colbert warned us about this, but we all just laughed at him. Well, who's laughing now Colorado, Montana, Wyoming?   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 153
    More: Scary, Colorado, Wildlife Department, Randy Hampton, epidemics  
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11117 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Sep 2012 at 10:04 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-04 01:21:02 PM  

joonyer: //gladder that the bear ran away


Ninety-nine times out of 100, that's what a black bear will generally do.

Then you have that *ONE* time that the bear decides that you might be a potential meal.
 
2012-09-04 01:21:34 PM  
Charlie Vandergaw doesn't see the problem.

farm4.static.flickr.com 

media.adn.com
 
2012-09-04 01:23:08 PM  

joonyer: As someone who walked up on a blackie the other night at 3am when staggering to my tent, I'm getting a kick...

/glad i was drunk, 20 feet is too close
//gladder that the bear ran away


Phrasing... Phrasing!
 
2012-09-04 01:26:38 PM  

smitty04: 8InchFloppy: The sooner everyone accepts that our species is going to populate every desirable corner of this planet, forcing out all incompatible species, the better of we will all be.

The Nazi tried that but it did not work.


Godwin during a bear conversation. That's low, even for farkers. Although its great for his theory
 
2012-09-04 01:26:42 PM  

cryinoutloud: This happens every freaking fall in the west. I was just thinking I should get out and go look for some bears, since I know they're starting their rampage about now.

What I find more interesting is our obsession with wild animals, while just about everything we do is designed to make them scarce and less threatening. But we luurrveee bears!!!----Maybe someone could go out and declaw them though, since they might hurt my purebred Nerfy-schoodle. Otherwise, I'm suing the city when my cat disappears.


www.lolwut.com
 
2012-09-04 01:26:47 PM  

Dimensio: Perhaps a Birdemic: Shock and Terror spin off, titled Beardemic: Godless Killing Machines, is in order.


I imagine they would be cartoony stock art pictures instead crappy CGI.
 
2012-09-04 01:27:15 PM  
por-img.cimcontent.net

R.I.P. BJ & the Bear
 
2012-09-04 01:27:15 PM  
I'm in Estes Park, Colorado and I have had over a dozen bear sighting from my cabin this summer, so I'm getting a kick...

img13.imageshack.us
BEAR!
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-09-04 01:27:24 PM  

Raider_dad: Animals are doomed, in the future we can't have them taking up our valuable space so they will be executed.


They can probably be made into sausage or something.
 
2012-09-04 01:28:09 PM  

Beerguy: Charlie Vandergaw doesn't see the problem.

[farm4.static.flickr.com image 400x393] 



Neither did Timothy Treadwell.

/except for the last 20 seconds of his life or so -- he probably saw the problem then
 
2012-09-04 01:29:04 PM  

Rich Cream: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 550x343]


My brother has this print over his couch.

/cool story of my bro
 
2012-09-04 01:35:30 PM  

cryinoutloud: This happens every freaking fall in the west. I was just thinking I should get out and go look for some bears, since I know they're starting their rampage about now.

What I find more interesting is our obsession with wild animals, while just about everything we do is designed to make them scarce and less threatening. But we luurrveee bears!!!----Maybe someone could go out and declaw them though, since they might hurt my purebred Nerfy-schoodle. Otherwise, I'm suing the city when my cat disappears.


Dafuq did I just read?
 
2012-09-04 01:50:37 PM  

Bendal: If they can climb a tree, they can climb a fence.


...but can they dodge a wrench?

And, in regards to all the bears making good democrats comments...jealous? I know how much Republicans love bears, even if all they ever elect are twinks, otters and cubbies.
 
2012-09-04 01:51:12 PM  

santadog: I'm in Estes Park, Colorado and I have had over a dozen bear sighting from my cabin this summer, so I'm getting a kick...

[img13.imageshack.us image 640x449]
BEAR!


Hey, what's up? How's the moped rental going?
 
2012-09-04 01:51:16 PM  
 
2012-09-04 01:51:59 PM  

AliceBToklasLives: [abcnews.go.com image 478x269]

Bearbarians at the gate!


Or, "BarBEARians" :)
 
2012-09-04 01:58:08 PM  

jshine: Beerguy: Charlie Vandergaw doesn't see the problem.

[farm4.static.flickr.com image 400x393] 


Neither did Timothy Treadwell.

/except for the last 20 seconds of his life or so -- he probably saw the problem then

Amy was the second course.
 
2012-09-04 02:05:32 PM  

jshine: Neither did Timothy Treadwell.

/except for the last 20 seconds of his life or so -- he probably saw the problem then


In the bear's defense, Timothy Treadwell was a bit of an obnoxious dumbass.
 
2012-09-04 02:06:14 PM  

dittybopper: JackieRabbit: One would think that the residents of these western states would do what people in Appalachia do: eliminate sources of food around your homes.

Well, that's how we almost lost Whitetail deer, wild turkeys, and black bears in Appalachia: They shot them all for food. By about the mid-19th Century forward none of the Appalachian gunsmiths were making rifles appropriate for big game, because there wasn't any big game left.


They're back!
 
2012-09-04 02:06:35 PM  
I've neve ursine such lame bear puns.
 
2012-09-04 02:08:41 PM  

JRoo: I've neve ursine such lame bear puns.


Personally, I smell trouble bruin.
 
2012-09-04 02:11:12 PM  

MayContainHorseGluten: cryinoutloud: This happens every freaking fall in the west. I was just thinking I should get out and go look for some bears, since I know they're starting their rampage about now.

What I find more interesting is our obsession with wild animals, while just about everything we do is designed to make them scarce and less threatening. But we luurrveee bears!!!----Maybe someone could go out and declaw them though, since they might hurt my purebred Nerfy-schoodle. Otherwise, I'm suing the city when my cat disappears.

Dafuq did I just read?


What I think the person is trying to say--possibly channeling meowsaidthedog--is that people are all about the pretty wild animals until they actually go about their business of being wild in their own backyards. Everyone wants to not kill cute little bears and sweet little mountain lions, except when Fluffy or Kitty suddenly go missing and 63 dumpsters have their lids ripped off and garbage strewn for miles. But even then o! you can't shoot them! just catch them and relocate them! (because animals with a 40-square mile hunting range will never find their way back)

Hell, we couldn't even get community approval to shoot freaking coyotes down here in Rossmore...the guys at the Joint Service Training Base had to sneak out at night with BB guns and plink them to death because so many people were HORRIFIED at the thought of killing the nice wild animals.
 
2012-09-04 02:12:45 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

Australia has it much worse.
 
2012-09-04 02:24:08 PM  

imontheinternet: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x850]

Australia has it much worse.


It rains rabid koala bears?

Why does anyone even live there?!?
 
2012-09-04 02:24:54 PM  
A Polar Bear fell on me.
 
2012-09-04 02:26:43 PM  
funny-wall.com
 
2012-09-04 02:58:07 PM  
In case a bear attacks you
img580.imageshack.us
 
2012-09-04 03:18:21 PM  
It's like when you start encroaching on bears' natural habitat this sort of thing is only bound to happen or something.
 
2012-09-04 03:21:53 PM  

that bosnian sniper: jshine: Neither did Timothy Treadwell.

/except for the last 20 seconds of his life or so -- he probably saw the problem then

In the bear's defense, Timothy Treadwell was a bit of an obnoxious dumbass.


Indeed -- hopefully he was as delicious as Gerald Ford.
 
2012-09-04 03:27:45 PM  

bojon: jshine: Beerguy: Charlie Vandergaw doesn't see the problem.

[farm4.static.flickr.com image 400x393] 


Neither did Timothy Treadwell.

/except for the last 20 seconds of his life or so -- he probably saw the problem then

Amy was the second course.



...yea, that's the only part of that story I feel a bit bad about. She probably trusted the guy to know what he was doing since he was an "expert".
 
2012-09-04 03:40:07 PM  

orange storm: In case a bear attacks you
[img580.imageshack.us image 500x565]


You might as well have a Nerf gun for all the good that would do against a bear.
 
2012-09-04 03:43:52 PM  
The former governor of my home state has the right idea for ursine defense.
1.bp.blogspot.com 
Note: not the hat or chew I'm talking 'bout.
 
2012-09-04 03:48:51 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim


The former governor of my home state has the right idea for ursine defense.

Note: not the hat or chew I'm talking 'bout.


The mustache is positively Romero-esque.
 
2012-09-04 03:58:10 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim: The former governor of my home state has the right idea for ursine defense.
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x344] 
Note: not the hat or chew I'm talking 'bout.


Yes, well, I seem to be a bit low on God-damned sexual tyrannosaurs at the moment.

/Don't have any Alabama ticks, either.
 
2012-09-04 04:17:36 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim


You might as well have a Nerf gun for all the good that would do against a bear.


Maybe you should read all of the text that accompanies the picture.
 
2012-09-04 04:21:58 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim: You might as well have a Nerf gun for all the good that would do against a bear.


Read the rest of the ad.

/you don't use the gun on the bear
 
2012-09-04 05:15:54 PM  

Khellendros: planes: as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance.

So they live in a southern or midwestern state, where most they take more money than they give to the federal government, and use most all of the subsidies, public assistance, welfare, and social security, and give far less back into the system?

And you think they'd vote democrat?


They're black.
 
2012-09-04 05:16:57 PM  

planes: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]

Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democratic Party... as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance.

This is a Democrat black bear in Montana nicknamed Bearack Obearma.


Dear God, I wet myself ... you are a wonderful Farker.
 
2012-09-04 05:49:08 PM  
Let the bears pay the bear tax, I pay the Homer tax!

/isn't there a Farker with the screen name "TheHomerTax"?
 
2012-09-04 06:19:49 PM  
This sort of thing happens when animal rights groups make it so hard to hunt, you can't even shoot one i its gnawing on your head without getting written permission.
 
2012-09-04 06:53:08 PM  

WalMartian: AliceBToklasLives: [abcnews.go.com image 478x269]

Bearbarians at the gate!

Or, "BarBEARians" :)


I'm not very bright :)
 
2012-09-04 07:25:30 PM  

stuffy: This sort of thing happens when animal rights groups make it so hard to hunt, you can't even shoot one i its gnawing on your head without getting written permission.


Hunting bears shouldn't require permits -- after all, it's an even match: both the humans and the bears have the right to bear arms.
 
2012-09-04 07:26:51 PM  
paging doglover to the bear thread...
 
2012-09-04 07:56:17 PM  

911Jenny: darwinpolice: planes: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]

Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democratic Party... as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance.

This is a Democrat black bear in Montana nicknamed Bearack Obearma.

I am embarrassed to have laughed at that. Doubly embarrassed to have laughed hard.

I rolled my eyes and scanned it til i got to Bearack Obearma and began a giggle fit.


As for me ever encountering a bear... I would shiat in my pants out of fear. My only hope being that the smell of poo radiating off of me would deter the bear from eating me.


Or you can throw shyat at the bear's eyes. Plenty of ammo available at that point.
 
2012-09-04 08:41:05 PM  

JackieRabbit: Scary? I guess Subby's a sissy city boy. Black bears are not a problem, if you leave them alone. One would think that the residents of these western states would do what people in Appalachia do: eliminate sources of food around your homes.


That's the problem. The article mainly focuses on Colorado. Lots of city folks that think they can live in the country. You notice the one instance they talk about outside of Colorado ended with the rancher killing the bear.

There was also no mention of Wyoming in the article. Not sure why the subby brought it up.
 
2012-09-04 08:52:52 PM  

WalMartian: santadog: I'm in Estes Park, Colorado and I have had over a dozen bear sighting from my cabin this summer, so I'm getting a kick...

[img13.imageshack.us image 640x449]
BEAR!

Hey, what's up? How's the moped rental going?


Going well! Slowing down for the end of season right now. Next week, 15 Harley Riders will park their Hogs in my lot, and in full leathers, ride my fleet of scooters. :)
 
2012-09-04 08:54:25 PM  

imontheinternet: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x850]

Australia has it much worse.


The Dreaded Drop Bear.

I've seen something similar here in the Rocky Mountains called "Drop Elk". Terrible beasties.
 
2012-09-04 09:51:18 PM  
b-b-but bears are cute and if they get in your house well just put them in a zoo, right???

just kidding. Bears are in fact eating machines, cannibals, dangerous, and not really that cute. I hear that black bears with a diet heavy in berries yield tasty meat.
 
2012-09-04 11:14:34 PM  
Amusing. I live near Eagle...

Well, the bear facts are that there is a shortage of their normal food this year, so they are going to go for stuff they would ordinarly not, that drives 'em down into town. There's aways a few visitors but in truth, good, enforced garbage storage mostly has alleviated the majority of the problems.

We do have to be careful to keep doors closed and latched, but we have a locking 3 yard container that the bears can't open and they so far have stayed mostly out of the yard - had one cub visit earlier this summer but he took off when I yelled at him.

Still, I keep a rifle and revolver handy, just in case. Mostly they will run on encounter around our valley - they are not habituated to humans and they are hunted around here so that keeps 'em a bit more in check. But one does not want to be complacent about them.

Technically, it's illegal to shoot one, even when it is in your house, but I have enough land to hide the carcass. I seriously doubt that any of them would stick around after I popped a warning shot, these are browns, not Griz. They are another beast entirely.
 
2012-09-04 11:43:46 PM  

Anal Tobacco Furnace: Bennie Crabtree: xynix: That's why in Georgia you're allowed to take one black bear a year with a big game license.. I've yet to bag one myself though I spotted one on an occasion and couldn't get a good shot so didn't try. I've seen others up north and they come into the city every now and then. Even into Atlanta.. Last year there were two or three running around my neighborhood. farking bears..

That sounds incredibly stupid. The habitat is probably already stressed by the number of bears. I bet the real problem is a human epidemic, with too many humans building unnecessary suburbs close to the bears' homes. Fark your suburbs.

Thanks for writing this for me. Sounds more like a human epidemic.


There is, IIRC, a ridicuously limited lottery for bear licenses in MI. complete w transfer rules, rules for kids (dad doesn't get to bag a bear bc his kid got a license), etc.

State gets $ from licenses, # adjusted up or down as needed, local businesses probably get more $ as people plan a once in a lifetime thing, etc.

A 1/anyone who pays for a license boggles my mind.

/granted I also grew up with a healthy fear of not tempting fate and a huge financial smackdown by violating/not even having a license
 
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