If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(ABC)   Bear "epidemic" in the west. Stephen Colbert warned us about this, but we all just laughed at him. Well, who's laughing now Colorado, Montana, Wyoming?   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 153
    More: Scary, Colorado, Wildlife Department, Randy Hampton, epidemics  
•       •       •

11115 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Sep 2012 at 10:04 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



153 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-09-04 09:28:56 AM
I am. At Colorado, Montana, and Wyoming.
 
2012-09-04 09:33:46 AM
That's why in Georgia you're allowed to take one black bear a year with a big game license.. I've yet to bag one myself though I spotted one on an occasion and couldn't get a good shot so didn't try. I've seen others up north and they come into the city every now and then. Even into Atlanta.. Last year there were two or three running around my neighborhood. farking bears..
 
2012-09-04 10:01:49 AM
We've got two that have been moving through our backyard on and off the last couple of weeks. Not a big deal really, just don't feed them. They'll move on.

/after they wreck the goddamn apple trees anyway...
 
2012-09-04 10:08:30 AM

ozebb: We've got two that have been moving through our backyard on and off the last couple of weeks. Not a big deal really, just don't feed them. They'll move on.

/after they wreck the goddamn apple trees anyway...


Guess what gets wrecked after the apple trees run out of apples?

/bears don't just move on when they run out of food
//they keep going back to the places they found food before, and tear up more stuff till they find more food
 
2012-09-04 10:08:50 AM
img638.imageshack.us
 
2012-09-04 10:10:06 AM
the problem with bears and folks mixing is that folks tend to leave body parts lying around and it takes away from the natural beauty of the land.
 
2012-09-04 10:10:10 AM
Black bears you say? I suggest a tabby cat for protection.

news.nationalgeographic.com
 
2012-09-04 10:11:18 AM
It's bad news for people like Melissa Carroll of Eagle, Colo.
newspaper.li
 
2012-09-04 10:12:59 AM
This happens every freaking fall in the west. I was just thinking I should get out and go look for some bears, since I know they're starting their rampage about now.

What I find more interesting is our obsession with wild animals, while just about everything we do is designed to make them scarce and less threatening. But we luurrveee bears!!!----Maybe someone could go out and declaw them though, since they might hurt my purebred Nerfy-schoodle. Otherwise, I'm suing the city when my cat disappears.
 
2012-09-04 10:13:54 AM

Rich Cream: Black bears you say? I suggest a tabby cat for protection.

[news.nationalgeographic.com image 461x615]


Exactly, GRIZZLY bears? that's some scary shiat, but Black bears are basically oversized raccoons, which is to say "mostly harmless"
 
2012-09-04 10:14:15 AM
www.totalpackers.com
 
2012-09-04 10:15:25 AM

Magorn: "mostly harmless"


Oh look. Black bear crap with Magorn bits in it.
 
2012-09-04 10:19:18 AM

Magorn: Exactly, GRIZZLY bears? that's some scary shiat, but Black bears are basically oversized raccoons, which is to say "mostly harmless"


Tell that to Donna Munson.

/well, she actually did think black bears were mostly harmless, even fed them regularly as pets
//she knows better now, or did for the few seconds before she was eaten
 
2012-09-04 10:20:09 AM
Easy solution, domesticate them.
 
2012-09-04 10:20:56 AM
On it.
simpsonswiki.net
 
2012-09-04 10:23:13 AM

xynix: That's why in Georgia you're allowed to take one black bear a year with a big game license.. I've yet to bag one myself though I spotted one on an occasion and couldn't get a good shot so didn't try. I've seen others up north and they come into the city every now and then. Even into Atlanta.. Last year there were two or three running around my neighborhood. farking bears..


That sounds incredibly stupid. The habitat is probably already stressed by the number of bears. I bet the real problem is a human epidemic, with too many humans building unnecessary suburbs close to the bears' homes. Fark your suburbs.
 
2012-09-04 10:24:58 AM

Magorn: Rich Cream: Black bears you say? I suggest a tabby cat for protection.

[news.nationalgeographic.com image 461x615]

Exactly, GRIZZLY bears? that's some scary shiat, but Black bears are basically oversized raccoons, which is to say "mostly harmless"


We have a 7' tall when standing 550lb black bear in the area that has learned to open car doors to get food inside (stupid tourists) and opened an outdoor walk in freezer for the cafe up the hill from us (10k damage, not bright on their part not to have that door secured better). Right now he's a raccoon but all it'd take is one bad food gathering fall one year and he's a BIG problem. Much bigger than a raccoon.
 
2012-09-04 10:30:42 AM

Bennie Crabtree: xynix: That's why in Georgia you're allowed to take one black bear a year with a big game license.. I've yet to bag one myself though I spotted one on an occasion and couldn't get a good shot so didn't try. I've seen others up north and they come into the city every now and then. Even into Atlanta.. Last year there were two or three running around my neighborhood. farking bears..

That sounds incredibly stupid. The habitat is probably already stressed by the number of bears. I bet the real problem is a human epidemic, with too many humans building unnecessary suburbs close to the bears' homes. Fark your suburbs.


You think it's tough controlling animal populations, try controlling human populations. If you don't live w/in a quarter mile of a river, you live in what was once a suburb. Everyone wants to be the last one in. "No more 'burbs!"

Too many people, period. They have to live somewhere.
 
2012-09-04 10:31:32 AM
...well, you could live rural too, but not most on Fark.
 
2012-09-04 10:32:11 AM
Having friends up in the mountains who woke up to a bear (probably a cub) in the house... yeah, this is not going to be a fun year.

/if only he'd gotten into their habanero pepper collection, he'd never come back...
 
2012-09-04 10:33:14 AM

xaldin: Magorn: Rich Cream: Black bears you say? I suggest a tabby cat for protection.

[news.nationalgeographic.com image 461x615]

Exactly, GRIZZLY bears? that's some scary shiat, but Black bears are basically oversized raccoons, which is to say "mostly harmless"

We have a 7' tall when standing 550lb black bear in the area that has learned to open car doors to get food inside (stupid tourists) and opened an outdoor walk in freezer for the cafe up the hill from us (10k damage, not bright on their part not to have that door secured better). Right now he's a raccoon but all it'd take is one bad food gathering fall one year and he's a BIG problem. Much bigger than a raccoon.


Okay for the XXXL-sized Black Bears you might need one of these cute lil' guys instead of a Tabby cat:
pikimusta.webpark.cz

Karelian bear dogs
 
2012-09-04 10:35:04 AM
They should locate the bear nests and destroy their eggs. That would thin the population in future years.
 
2012-09-04 10:35:09 AM
It's a real epidemic when it gets spread person-to-person.
 
2012-09-04 10:35:30 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com

Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democratic Party... as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance.

This is a Democrat black bear in Montana nicknamed Bearack Obearma.
 
2012-09-04 10:37:08 AM
Moon Bears?

Link
 
2012-09-04 10:37:21 AM

planes: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]

Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democratic Party... as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance.

This is a Democrat black bear in Montana nicknamed Bearack Obearma.


Thats not a half black bear though...
 
2012-09-04 10:37:51 AM
farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2012-09-04 10:38:23 AM
I saw one coming down into town when I was hiking last week . Silly bears.
 
2012-09-04 10:39:56 AM

planes: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]

Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democratic Party... as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance.

This is a Democrat black bear in Montana nicknamed Bearack Obearma.


why does it have to be a black bear?

thats wacist!
 
2012-09-04 10:41:18 AM
Lackwits piloting two tons of steel are a much greater danger to me. How many can I shoot each year?
 
2012-09-04 10:41:51 AM
Bears to watch out for
emtoast.com
johnnyism.files.wordpress.com
i1.squidoocdn.com
images.businessweek.com
 
2012-09-04 10:42:49 AM
images.pictureshunt.com

Just leave some pic-a-nic baskets out for 'em.
 
2012-09-04 10:45:02 AM
Scary? I guess Subby's a sissy city boy. Black bears are not a problem, if you leave them alone. One would think that the residents of these western states would do what people in Appalachia do: eliminate sources of food around your homes.
 
2012-09-04 10:45:19 AM
I ran into a bear last year. And I literally mean I ran into one.

I live in Florida and we have them come out at night to turn over our trashcans. It was about 9:30, I was jogging, and I was passing a driveway with two cars. Just as I was going past the cars, a smallish black bear came out from between the cars, and I actually bumped into it.

I must have jumped backward about 15 feet. The bear, to its credit, decided that chasing after and mauling a yelping, backwards hopping madman wasn't a good investment of its time and went off the other way.

I don't jog at night anymore.
 
2012-09-04 10:45:32 AM

Bennie Crabtree: xynix: That's why in Georgia you're allowed to take one black bear a year with a big game license.. I've yet to bag one myself though I spotted one on an occasion and couldn't get a good shot so didn't try. I've seen others up north and they come into the city every now and then. Even into Atlanta.. Last year there were two or three running around my neighborhood. farking bears..

That sounds incredibly stupid. The habitat is probably already stressed by the number of bears. I bet the real problem is a human epidemic, with too many humans building unnecessary suburbs close to the bears' homes. Fark your suburbs.


IT IS NEVER EVER EVER EVER ANY HUMAN'S FAULT!!1! THOSE ELEPHANTS IN AFRICA BEING SLAUGHTERED IN RECORD NUMBERS FOR THEIR IVORY??? THEY STEPPED IN FRONT OF A LOADED GUN!!1! HUMAN BEINGS HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT WHENEVER THEY WANT!!1!

/sorry I flared. YMMV
 
2012-09-04 10:45:54 AM

Sin_City_Superhero: [images.pictureshunt.com image 445x563]

Just leave some pic-a-nic baskets out for 'em.


A big pic-a-nic basket.
media.naplesnews.com
 
2012-09-04 10:47:31 AM

planes: as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance.


So they live in a southern or midwestern state, where most they take more money than they give to the federal government, and use most all of the subsidies, public assistance, welfare, and social security, and give far less back into the system?

And you think they'd vote democrat?
 
2012-09-04 10:48:16 AM

Bennie Crabtree: xynix: That's why in Georgia you're allowed to take one black bear a year with a big game license.. I've yet to bag one myself though I spotted one on an occasion and couldn't get a good shot so didn't try. I've seen others up north and they come into the city every now and then. Even into Atlanta.. Last year there were two or three running around my neighborhood. farking bears..

That sounds incredibly stupid. The habitat is probably already stressed by the number of bears. I bet the real problem is a human epidemic, with too many humans building unnecessary suburbs close to the bears' homes. Fark your suburbs.


Thanks for writing this for me. Sounds more like a human epidemic.
 
2012-09-04 10:48:19 AM
Bear is actually fine table fare. But must be cooked well done for Trichinsos.
 
2012-09-04 10:49:21 AM
They're looking at trying to consume 20,000 calories a day.

i.ytimg.com
 
2012-09-04 10:49:27 AM
Perhaps a Birdemic: Shock and Terror spin off, titled Beardemic: Godless Killing Machines, is in order.
 
2012-09-04 10:49:58 AM

Magorn: xaldin: Magorn: Rich Cream: Black bears you say? I suggest a tabby cat for protection.

[news.nationalgeographic.com image 461x615]

Exactly, GRIZZLY bears? that's some scary shiat, but Black bears are basically oversized raccoons, which is to say "mostly harmless"

We have a 7' tall when standing 550lb black bear in the area that has learned to open car doors to get food inside (stupid tourists) and opened an outdoor walk in freezer for the cafe up the hill from us (10k damage, not bright on their part not to have that door secured better). Right now he's a raccoon but all it'd take is one bad food gathering fall one year and he's a BIG problem. Much bigger than a raccoon.

Okay for the XXXL-sized Black Bears you might need one of these cute lil' guys instead of a Tabby cat:
[pikimusta.webpark.cz image 640x600]

Karelian bear dogs


For a bear dog, I'm seeing a lot of dog and very little bear there. I was expecting a bear/dog ratio more on the order of this liger:

blog.zap2it.com
 
2012-09-04 10:56:56 AM
Animals are doomed, in the future we can't have them taking up our valuable space so they will be executed.
 
2012-09-04 10:57:44 AM
President Ackerman warned us too, but he's not a meme
 
2012-09-04 10:58:02 AM
kansas-railroad-job-insurance.com
 
2012-09-04 11:00:08 AM
I saw the biggest black bear I've ever seen just casually walking down my street 3 nights ago, and I was able to cope with this by convincing myself that bears don't climb fences. So fark that picture in the article very much.
 
2012-09-04 11:00:46 AM
I know it's a crazy thought but maybe you should be aware of this potential before moving into an area that may be roamed by bears.
This happens every year.
 
2012-09-04 11:02:10 AM
In Eastern NC a few years ago a hunter shot a black bear weighing over 800 pounds. That bear had such a thick roll of fat he could barely see; the fat was starting to push over his head and eyes. The official hunting registry refused to give the hunter a world record bear because they said the bear was "artificially" enlarged. What they meant was the bear was scavenging dead pigs from all the pig farms in the area and wasn't really acting like a wild bear any more. He had a circuit around the pig farms and would steal the dead ones from each farm in turn.

/he was so fat he looked like a barrel with little short legs
 
2012-09-04 11:02:59 AM
CSB:
Here in Red Lodge we have "bear-proof" trash cans. Which pretty much just means it won't pop open when it tips over. The bears go down the alley and tip them over one by one, looking for one that isn't latched properly. What sucks is we have a thicket of trees in our front yard. So when the bears manage to open a can, they grab a trash bag and drag it someplace "safe" to dig through it: my front yard. I sat up one night in August and watched a parade of 6 of them come through in on night. I just sat there and watched them, and raked up the mess in the morning.
 
2012-09-04 11:09:04 AM

umop_apisdn: CSB:
Here in Red Lodge we have "bear-proof" trash cans. Which pretty much just means it won't pop open when it tips over. The bears go down the alley and tip them over one by one, looking for one that isn't latched properly. What sucks is we have a thicket of trees in our front yard. So when the bears manage to open a can, they grab a trash bag and drag it someplace "safe" to dig through it: my front yard. I sat up one night in August and watched a parade of 6 of them come through in on night. I just sat there and watched them, and raked up the mess in the morning.


Put some signs up; that should help. Bears are very law abiding.
 
Displayed 50 of 153 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »





Report