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(Daily Mail)   Is this the ugliest mansion in America? The 'gas station' home in Lake Success is on the market for $5.88M   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
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31525 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Sep 2012 at 7:37 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-09-03 12:56:04 AM  
I like the flash retro chandaleers in the dining room, but the room itself looks like a ship cabin. Yech! Teal! The most hateful of all the blues except for Microsoft Screen of Death Cobalt. In fact, the whole house looks more like a luxury yacht (but not a Throat Wobbler Mangrove Luxury Yacht) than a gas station.

I agree that the portico is over whelming and that it does make that part of the house look like a gas station, and the four door garage should probably have been hidden away or put in a disguised out-building because I hate houses where the garage is stuck on the front or side like a great gaping wound. Garages and carriage houses are supposed to be hidden away round back or behind a porte-cochère, not the primary feature of the facade.

I hate square columns or pillars. They look cheap, industrial and nasty. They ruin many a faux Georgian house. If you're going classical, go classical. If you want two by fours, build in wood.

The all-white interior is middle class, sterile and artificial. I doesn't convey either grandeur or homeliness, let alone both, which is what a good WASP aristocrat or patrician is going for. I don't mind modern architecture if it is built with humans in mind, but a lot of these monster homes are just monstrous and inhuman as well as shlocky and trite. One gets the impression that a lot of modern architects hate their employers and love cutting corners, so what you end up is an oversized suburban crap box with a bit of pretentious finishing in thin gaudy marble and thinner walls of two by fours and crap board, held together by glue, staples and other child art project materials.

Build a house to last two or three centuries at least, or don't build at all. The most humble stone crofter cottages of the 1800s are often better than modern "mansions". Mind you, much of the middle classes of Europe are living in refurbished granges, stables, and peasant cottages. There has been a serious decline in quality and nobody wants to live in the cast-off mansions of the vulgar, stupid and gullible rich any more.
 
2012-09-03 01:26:27 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion

That's an incredibly tacky looking place. If I bought it (yeah, right), I'd gut the damned place and get it redecorated with some style. And urinals? I don't think I've ever seen urinals outside of work or public restrooms.


The urinal thing isn't too uncommon. I did a stint selling real estate for Sotheby's, and urinals are a pissing match for the wealthy.

/ I was once given the entire lineage of a urinal in one of my listings-"This was rescued from a speakeasy..."

//Only thing I learned from that job is that self importance knows no bounds.

///Enjoy the what you've earned, but when it reaches the point that you take pride in what you piss in, you've lost your compass.
 
2012-09-03 02:08:31 AM  

Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus: Devolving_Spud: Sutyagin House in Russia isn't American, so it isn't eligible:

Link

Bishop Castle is American...
[www.ohiobarns.com image 300x432]


That is actually kind of cool.
 
2012-09-03 02:09:54 AM  

ihatethemall: / I was once given the entire lineage of a urinal in one of my listings-"This was rescued from a speakeasy..."

//Only thing I learned from that job is that self importance knows no bounds.

///Enjoy the what you've earned, but when it reaches the point that you take pride in what you piss in, you've lost your compass.


I don't know, those old-fashioned urinals which go all the way into the floor are probably the best thing to piss in ever, and they don't make them anymore. no splashback, no worrying about dribbling on your shoes.

/Fergie's here in Philly still has them in their men's room
 
2012-09-03 02:12:08 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: saturn badger: Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion

I dunno. The penis chandelier brings the room together.

I can't seem to find the penis chandelier, but this room is awesome, I totally want one like this, just with a smaller fireplace and leather chairs with brass tacks:

[cdn.cstatic.net image 640x439]

CSB:

When I worked door to door sales a house on my route had a doorknocker that looked like a big pair of metal testicles. I knocked it, and heard someone call to come around back, so I did. The residents, who were two fabulously flamingly gay men, were sitting poolside in tiny speedos drinking what looked like daquiries. It was such a stereotypically gay scene that I had a hard time keeping a straight face. They turned out to be good customers though, gotta love gay men, two incomes and no kids usually means lots of money to throw around.


Look harder.

/did I really say that?
//I did
 
2012-09-03 02:15:57 AM  

ihatethemall: /Enjoy the what you've earned, but when it reaches the point that you take pride in what you piss in, you've lost your compass.


I am stealing this.
 
2012-09-03 02:25:40 AM  

Dwight_Yeast: ihatethemall: / I was once given the entire lineage of a urinal in one of my listings-"This was rescued from a speakeasy..."

//Only thing I learned from that job is that self importance knows no bounds.

///Enjoy the what you've earned, but when it reaches the point that you take pride in what you piss in, you've lost your compass.

I don't know, those old-fashioned urinals which go all the way into the floor are probably the best thing to piss in ever, and they don't make them anymore. no splashback, no worrying about dribbling on your shoes.

/Fergie's here in Philly still has them in their men's room


Oh, I wasn't badmouthing the porcelain itself. You're right that they're the bee's knees of urination, but it still makes for a pathetic trophy.
 
2012-09-03 02:26:10 AM  

Another Government Employee: The ugliest one I ever saw was a Celestial Barn about half way up Soledad Mountain in LaJolla. It looked like was painted by Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters after a five day binge. This was 25 years ago, so I have no idea if the damn thing is still there.


Google Streetview, please get on that so the rest of us can see it if it's still there :D
 
2012-09-03 03:06:20 AM  
I've seen worse.
 
2012-09-03 05:25:38 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: When I worked door to door sales a house on my route had a doorknocker that looked like a big pair of metal testicles.


I really, really, really want that testicles door knocker which if I remember correctly appeared in Scary Movie 2, or at least something similar.

Anyone know where I can get one?

/want to give those coming to my door the wrong idea
 
2012-09-03 07:03:19 AM  
Trivia: the house in the article was used as Gregory Hines mansion in the remake of The Preacher's Wife.
 
2012-09-03 07:31:51 AM  
Looks German.
 
2012-09-03 07:45:30 AM  
The property in question is at 124 Windsor Gate, Great Neck, NY. It's about 1000 feet from the Long Island Expressway so it's got that going for it.

I can't find any ownership records.
 
2012-09-03 08:20:52 AM  

ladyfortuna: Another Government Employee: The ugliest one I ever saw was a Celestial Barn about half way up Soledad Mountain in LaJolla. It looked like was painted by Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters after a five day binge. This was 25 years ago, so I have no idea if the damn thing is still there.

Google Streetview, please get on that so the rest of us can see it if it's still there :D


It doesn't look like Streetview is available in LaJolla. But looking on GE, it looks much more densely developed now. I'm going to guess the barn was blown away and replaced with something bigger.
 
2012-09-03 08:53:40 AM  
The more modern styling isn't 'my style', and there is way too much white for my tastes, but I don't think it's ugly.
 
2012-09-03 09:08:02 AM  

brantgoose:

I agree that the portico is over whelming and that it does make that part of the house look like a gas station, and the four door garage should probably have been hidden away or put in a disguised out-building because I hate houses where the garage is stuck on the front or side like a great gaping wound. Garages and carriage houses are supposed to be hidden away round back or behind a porte-cochère, not the primary feature of the facade.

I hate square columns or pillars. They look cheap, industrial and nasty. They ruin many a faux Georgian house. If you're going classical, go classical. If you want two by fours, build in wood.



So much this. The annoying thing about American suburbs built since the the end of WWII is that the garage becomes the central focus of the house. If possible, a garage should not be part of the house. If it is unavoidable, the garage door should not be seen from the street.

/Lived in a house build in 1927
// Proper detached garage out in back.
 
2012-09-03 09:36:20 AM  
Yep. Ugly. It's like a mash up of Greek Revival, Brutalist and International, and it doesn't work. I've seen better looking mausoleums.
 
2012-09-03 09:46:34 AM  
This is one of those places whose message is, "My owner wants you to know that he is rich. Specifically, he is richer than you. His house is bigger, he has more cars, he even has more television screens. He has more of everything, and he poured a huge amount of money into this house to make sure you know that. He doesn't even like the house...in fact he hates it. Let's face it, this house is ugly as hell and cold and impersonal and you could never feel at ease here. But he's RICHER THAN YOU."

Pretty sad. Three TV screens in the living room? What, so you can feel like you're at Buffalo Wild Wings?
 
2012-09-03 10:23:50 AM  
They should send in some sort of expert to deal with all of the potatocam artifacts.
 
2012-09-03 10:29:53 AM  

2wolves: Whiter than a KKK rally.


Yeah, that was my first impression, too. That place must be hell to keep clean.
 
2012-09-03 10:32:07 AM  
Interior furnishings look like a guido's wet dream.

The house itself is too boxy and white.

/dream house is a Craftsman bungalow in the California Heights section of Long Beach
//stuck in suburban Atlanta upside down in a subdivision
///part of the problem
 
2012-09-03 11:25:59 AM  

Kibbler: This is one of those places whose message is, "My owner wants you to know that he is rich. Specifically, he is richer than you. His house is bigger, he has more cars, he even has more television screens. He has more of everything, and he poured a huge amount of money into this house to make sure you know that. He doesn't even like the house...in fact he hates it. Let's face it, this house is ugly as hell and cold and impersonal and you could never feel at ease here. But he's RICHER THAN YOU."

Pretty sad. Three TV screens in the living room? What, so you can feel like you're at Buffalo Wild Wings?


farstarblog.com
 
2012-09-03 01:15:15 PM  
Geez, mansions are cheap down there. That house would bring a lot more if you moved it to Toronto!!

/Bland yes, ugly, no way. Quite fixable.
//Too big for our 3 person family, but I guess each cat could have their own room?
 
2012-09-03 01:36:14 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: And urinals? I don't think I've ever seen urinals outside of work or public restrooms.


It's not that the house has a urinal, it's that it has urinals. Because sometimes you might need to take a piss, but there's already some guy at the urinal in your master bathroom*. No problem, there's another.

On the other hand, if I had a full-sized replica of a random sports bar in my basement, I'd want it to be fully staffed every night by a random and rotating crowd of strangers, sitting at other tables and chatting amongst themselves in small groups or watching TV.


* NTTAWWT
 
2012-09-03 02:08:05 PM  

notmtwain: The property in question is at 124 Windsor Gate, Great Neck, NY. It's about 1000 feet from the Long Island Expressway so it's got that going for it.

I can't find any ownership records.


I used the white pages reverse directory, and came up with Joel D. Cowart III. There's also an H.L. Cowart and a Pete Cowart at the same address.
 
2012-09-03 03:37:38 PM  

Fissile: If possible, a garage should not be part of the house. If it is unavoidable, the garage door should not be seen from the street.


Well, it IS nice to be able to get out of the car and into the house without getting wet if it's raining.

/has a detached garage.
 
2012-09-03 05:59:16 PM  
The house in TFA is better-looking than the so-called 'Christmas Castle' in Boston:

blog.arithm.com

...which earned its name because of what the previous owner did with it every December:

farm3.staticflickr.com
 
2012-09-03 06:14:38 PM  

painless42: Her: "I need to buy a couch this weekend"

Me: "Didnt you just buy a livingroom set."

Her: " This is for the master bedroom"

Me: "Do you sit in your Master bedroom?"

Her: "No, but its so big i need furniture to fill the space"

Me: "Facepalm"


I have a couch in my bedroom so I'm getting a kick...

I don't have a mini-mansion by any stretch of the imagination, but my master was originally designed as a dormitory for a large family and so is abnormally long. Didn't know what I was supposed to do with the extra space until I got all the other furniture settled and still had a leftover love seat. Now I really like reading in there.
 
2012-09-03 07:47:52 PM  
While I would not call it beautiful, I would not call it ugly either. As for the gas station comment, I dont get it. It looks nothing like a gas station. The Brits gas stations must look very different from ours, much like their teeth.
 
2012-09-03 09:29:39 PM  
I don't think it's that ugly. Most of the issues seem to be with the furniture, but that can be fixed.
 
2012-09-03 10:54:24 PM  
Dining room is certainly not my style but there's nothing wrong with the rest as far as I can see
 
2012-09-04 01:44:47 PM  

Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus: Devolving_Spud: Sutyagin House in Russia isn't American, so it isn't eligible:

Link

Bishop Castle is American...
[www.ohiobarns.com image 300x432]


Holy crap!
 
2012-09-04 05:38:57 PM  
Skirl Hutsenreiter:

I have a couch in my bedroom so I'm getting a kick...

I don't have a mini-mansion by any stretch of the imagination, but my master was originally designed as a dormitory for a large family and so is abnormally long. Didn't know what I was supposed to do with the extra space until I got all the other furniture settled and still had a leftover love seat. Now I really like reading in there.

Yeah I have an extremely large bedroom on the top floor with a huge view (pacific ocean over a volcano island), so have both armchairs and a desk up there. Nice to work there on a sunny day and enjoy the ships and stuff. People have such stifled views of what rooms are 'for'
 
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