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(Daily Mail)   Is this the ugliest mansion in America? The 'gas station' home in Lake Success is on the market for $5.88M   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
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31522 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Sep 2012 at 7:37 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



133 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-09-02 05:35:35 PM  
Even uglier than the "new" Governor's mansion in California. (Built by Re*gan's friends during his administration, Jerry Brown would have been the first inhabitant but he did not. Subsequent governors lived in various mansions in Carmichael, CA except for Schwarzenegger who commuted by private plane almost daily from his home in Brentwood. This new gov's mansion was later sold by the state and is now the centerpiece of a gated community in Carmichael)
 
2012-09-02 07:35:22 PM  
It's not THAT ugly. It seriously needs some color though.
 
2012-09-02 07:40:20 PM  
Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?
 
2012-09-02 07:40:24 PM  
Rich people's aesthetic problems.
 
2012-09-02 07:44:07 PM  
Drop the price a couple mil and I'd take it.
 
2012-09-02 07:44:37 PM  
Whiter than a KKK rally.
 
2012-09-02 07:46:34 PM  

DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?


It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion
 
2012-09-02 07:47:21 PM  
It's stark, but not ugly. To quote Linus Van Pelt, "it just needs a little love". Or just a better paint job.

/Daily Mail message board is a joke
//they're probably still butthurt at me
///I supposedly wasn't nice enough to Posh Spice or Madonna
 
2012-09-02 07:48:46 PM  
Count on the taste free Brits to bash some Bauhaus architecture. What they really mean is it would look so much better with a thatched roof and some twee windows built into a hill.

Here's the most expensive home in Britain going for $158 million in London.

www.instablogsimages.com

Looks like Hogwarts if only they hadn't had the wizard style.
 
2012-09-02 07:49:04 PM  
cinemafanatic.files.wordpress.com 

Disapproves.
 
2012-09-02 07:50:19 PM  
Ive seen much worse. The seem to be going for an Art Deco/International style. Its a little too white, but otherwise i kind of like it. Sure as hell beats the fake Italian villa/french chateau bs. Dont get me started on middle-class housing in California... My exterior choices seem to be four colors of stucco, all of them brown.

/people are too afraid of resale to actually LIVE in their homes
// Little boxes made of ticky tacky...
/// or maybe " little boxes made of black granite and upgraded cherry cabinets"........ nah
 
2012-09-02 07:50:54 PM  
Not really getting the hate.
 
Slu
2012-09-02 07:51:42 PM  
Win for the Grosse Point Blank reference.

And I think it looks pretty sweet. Jamming in the living room would be awesome.
 
2012-09-02 07:51:56 PM  
Its like a throwback to a bygone ere... of NINETEEN NINETY FOUR!!! Good god, were there even people alive then? Are there wall paintings of Bison and shiat?

Know who could live there?

images.wikia.com
 
2012-09-02 07:52:39 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion


Kill it! Kill it with Fire!
 
2012-09-02 07:53:17 PM  
If I'm spending 6 million dollars, I better have way more garage bays than 4.
 
2012-09-02 07:53:44 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion


=============

I attended a wedding at a catering hall that looked like that Indiana shiat-pile. It's true, money doesn't buy class.
 
2012-09-02 07:53:45 PM  
What athlete owns that house?
 
2012-09-02 07:54:43 PM  
So, do Subby and the Daily Mail move about completely blindfolded? That mansion wouldn't even make the top 10 ugliest mansions on Long Island, much less the entire US
 
2012-09-02 07:56:47 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion


Holy shiat. The home in the article is just unattractive. The one you linked to is incredibly tacky in a way that I didn't know a single home could be.
 
2012-09-02 07:57:04 PM  
Needs a squad of paintballers. And a lot of ammo.
 
2012-09-02 07:57:05 PM  
i1151.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-02 07:58:44 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion


*blink* *blink*

...is it possible to swap the greenlit story for this one?
 
2012-09-02 07:59:15 PM  

Alphakronik: [i1151.photobucket.com image 552x367]


Rich enough to buy a 5.88 million dollar home, poor enough to not afford to paint it.
 
2012-09-02 08:00:10 PM  

Ambivalence: It's not THAT ugly. It seriously needs some color though.


Agreed.
 
2012-09-02 08:00:16 PM  
It's tacky but if you can get a deal on it then who cares...image is nothing, thirst is everything. It could make a good party mansion and I wouldn't mind throwing shindigs there, complete with bicep shaped invitations. Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid! If you're not young and single though, then yeah the place is a pit.
 
2012-09-02 08:00:43 PM  
DailyFail.. shut it.

/At least our country isn't broke
//dammit... nvm
 
2012-09-02 08:01:28 PM  
To elaborate: the most appropriate word gor that house is that it is bland. It looks like a Mid-West suburban housefrau's idea of what a mansion "should" look like. It's just sorta sitting there, looking sheepish and shiat at how Wonderbread it is. But there are thousands upon thousands of mansion that look like a demented teen-age girl's princess-fantasy orgasm-exploded out of her skull. Or a construction-worker lottery-winner tried to cram every gee-gaw known to man inside. This one? This one looks like the architect was told the client wasn't even going to look at the design before approval, so he pocketed the money and phoned in the results of 20 minutes on AutoCAD.
 
2012-09-02 08:02:31 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion


It's like it was designed by a 13 year old.
 
2012-09-02 08:03:42 PM  

mrmyxolodian: Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion

It's like it was designed by a 13 year old.


Someone unlocked the tutorial level of autoCAD.
 
2012-09-02 08:03:56 PM  

DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist/fascist piece of rubbish?


Supporting Hitler
 
2012-09-02 08:06:03 PM  

painless42: Ive seen much worse. The seem to be going for an Art Deco/International style. Its a little too white, but otherwise i kind of like it. Sure as hell beats the fake Italian villa/french chateau bs. Dont get me started on middle-class housing in California... My exterior choices seem to be four colors of stucco, all of them brown.

/people are too afraid of resale to actually LIVE in their homes
// Little boxes made of ticky tacky...
/// or maybe " little boxes made of black granite and upgraded cherry cabinets"........ nah


Ugh. I know exactly the type of home you're talking about and every time I've set foot in one or seen one on TV I want to throw up a little. I just don't get the appeal.
 
2012-09-02 08:06:28 PM  
Holy moly it's a White Castle mansion. Needs lots and lots of paint stat.
 
2012-09-02 08:07:19 PM  
I would guess this would be a Gotti family owned place..Being that it is in Long Island It just doesn't fit well.. I think
in a different location it would fit better. It would work in Miami or Southern California with no problem.
 
2012-09-02 08:08:13 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion


Holy shiat, that's a lot worse.
 
2012-09-02 08:10:17 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion


I feel uncomfortable looking at those pictures, is it just me, or are the ceilings really really low? I wonder if the entire house smells like cigar smoke.
 
2012-09-02 08:10:46 PM  
With that much money, can't you pay someone to have taste for you?
 
2012-09-02 08:14:28 PM  
It's not really ugly, but I don't like it.

Everybody to their own, I guess.
 
2012-09-02 08:14:59 PM  
Waaaaay to much goddam white. What's with people that everything must have such a generic, sterile look to it?

Anyhow, 5.88 mil? I know of 2 parcels of about 2800 acres each in Nor Cali forestes for that price I'd rather have.
 
2012-09-02 08:18:22 PM  
I saw this thing on tv talking about how Chinese money in Vancouver was creating what some locals considered gaudy architecture.

It reminds me of that. It isn't soft on the eyes.
 
2012-09-02 08:18:24 PM  
Looks like it was designed by an Eye- Tie.
 
2012-09-02 08:18:40 PM  
Money does not buy taste.

// seen worse
 
2012-09-02 08:19:07 PM  
It looks trendy 80's. ie. out of style.

That is what happens when you go with the trend, eventually it fades and your shiat looks like shiat.
 
2012-09-02 08:19:45 PM  

louiedog: painless42: Ive seen much worse. The seem to be going for an Art Deco/International style. Its a little too white, but otherwise i kind of like it. Sure as hell beats the fake Italian villa/french chateau bs. Dont get me started on middle-class housing in California... My exterior choices seem to be four colors of stucco, all of them brown.

/people are too afraid of resale to actually LIVE in their homes
// Little boxes made of ticky tacky...
/// or maybe " little boxes made of black granite and upgraded cherry cabinets"........ nah

Ugh. I know exactly the type of home you're talking about and every time I've set foot in one or seen one on TV I want to throw up a little. I just don't get the appeal.


To have a custom home.... just like everyone else? Yeah I dont get it either. The central valley of CA is ground zero for bad design. At the hight of the boom it was about building the biggest box on the smallest lot for the lowest cost and the highest price, and it shows. Few windows, houses that take up 70% of the lot leaving you an 8ft wide dog run in the back. 2,500 sq/ft houses that actually feel small because of poor layout and use of space... but boy that granite is shiney.
 
2012-09-02 08:19:54 PM  

Summoner101: With that much money, can't you pay someone to have taste for you?


Nope.

Well, yes, but you have to first realize you need help. For something that big and expensive, no architect is going to move forward without you signing off on the design. so, you will look at picture and/or virtual tours of the place. Now, if you realize you have no style, you nod sagely, thank the architect for his time and expertise, and thinks go well. But if you are flaming douchnozzle who thinks architects are glorified draftsmen and that you have superb style ... well, then you get horror shows. When I was in architecture school, the one thing they emphasized was that the client was paying for the project and that the client always got what they wanted - your job was to try and con them into wanting something that wasn't complete crap
 
2012-09-02 08:20:27 PM  

louiedog: painless42: Ive seen much worse. The seem to be going for an Art Deco/International style. Its a little too white, but otherwise i kind of like it. Sure as hell beats the fake Italian villa/french chateau bs. Dont get me started on middle-class housing in California... My exterior choices seem to be four colors of stucco, all of them brown.

/people are too afraid of resale to actually LIVE in their homes
// Little boxes made of ticky tacky...
/// or maybe " little boxes made of black granite and upgraded cherry cabinets"........ nah

Ugh. I know exactly the type of home you're talking about and every time I've set foot in one or seen one on TV I want to throw up a little. I just don't get the appeal.


Are we talking about those houses that are like horrible bloody abortions- where "Great Room & Bedroom Suite" 'A' was smashed into "Kitchen" 'F' which is being legitimately raped by "Breakfast Nook" 'L' which in turn has "Garage/Recroom" 'L' hanging on like a dingleberry, and then the CAD program calculates a roofline that looks like the gnarled remains of the Hindenburg's entire supply of straight-edges?
 
2012-09-02 08:26:47 PM  

Ambivalence: It's not THAT ugly. It seriously needs some color though.


this.

My first impression is that the architect used The Sims 3 to design both the exterior and interior.
 
mjg
2012-09-02 08:27:55 PM  
thecandycloset.files.wordpress.com

horrid

/
 
2012-09-02 08:33:15 PM  
I looked at the real estate listing. I would kill for the pool and backyard setup. Back of the house is cool.
 
2012-09-02 08:34:10 PM  

phalamir: Summoner101: With that much money, can't you pay someone to have taste for you?

Nope.

Well, yes, but you have to first realize you need help. For something that big and expensive, no architect is going to move forward without you signing off on the design. so, you will look at picture and/or virtual tours of the place. Now, if you realize you have no style, you nod sagely, thank the architect for his time and expertise, and thinks go well. But if you are flaming douchnozzle who thinks architects are glorified draftsmen and that you have superb style ... well, then you get horror shows. When I was in architecture school, the one thing they emphasized was that the client was paying for the project and that the client always got what they wanted - your job was to try and con them into wanting something that wasn't complete crap


Huh. You'd think people would listen to the person with the degree in the field of expertise rather than their trophy wife they picked up from the local Hooters.

The more you know.
 
2012-09-02 08:35:39 PM  

artifishy: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist/fascist piece of rubbish?

Supporting Hitler


You'll never guess who else supported Hitler.
 
2012-09-02 08:39:02 PM  

DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?


The daily fail isn't the worst that gets green around here. Check out some of the townhall, American thinker, and breitbart links on the politics tab.

I agree with you though, there are some worthless sites that get consistent love around Fark.
 
2012-09-02 08:41:05 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

Home life: The husband, pictured in their Texas home with an infant, presumably their youngest child; MailOnline has blurred their face


that's no infant, that's a CAT
 
2012-09-02 08:41:12 PM  
I like it. It's got this monochrome art deco thing going for it.
 
2012-09-02 08:43:07 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion


Jeez, even Liberace would call that gaudy
 
2012-09-02 08:44:59 PM  
The wealthy in America are currently a bunch of douche nozzles with no redeeming qualities, as witnessed by the the house in this tread. Once upon a time America had ruthless robber barons, but at least they had a bit of class.

Kykuit, the Rockefeller estate in Westchester County, New York. A newspaper writer once described it as, "The kind of place God would build for himself if he had the cash."

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-09-02 08:51:29 PM  

Civil Discourse: louiedog: painless42: Ive seen much worse. The seem to be going for an Art Deco/International style. Its a little too white, but otherwise i kind of like it. Sure as hell beats the fake Italian villa/french chateau bs. Dont get me started on middle-class housing in California... My exterior choices seem to be four colors of stucco, all of them brown.

/people are too afraid of resale to actually LIVE in their homes
// Little boxes made of ticky tacky...
/// or maybe " little boxes made of black granite and upgraded cherry cabinets"........ nah

Ugh. I know exactly the type of home you're talking about and every time I've set foot in one or seen one on TV I want to throw up a little. I just don't get the appeal.

Are we talking about those houses that are like horrible bloody abortions- where "Great Room & Bedroom Suite" 'A' was smashed into "Kitchen" 'F' which is being legitimately raped by "Breakfast Nook" 'L' which in turn has "Garage/Recroom" 'L' hanging on like a dingleberry, and then the CAD program calculates a roofline that looks like the gnarled remains of the Hindenburg's entire supply of straight-edges?


You sir owe me a new keyboard!
The Breakfast Nook said she was begging for it, but yes that's exactly it. Mansions of old had numerous bedrooms to accomodate overnight guests, of course society is different these days and if youre building big you end up just making all the rooms supersized which led to a conversation with a friend who'd bought a 3500 sq/ft "starter castle"

Her: "I need to buy a couch this weekend"

Me: "Didnt you just buy a livingroom set."

Her: " This is for the master bedroom"

Me: "Do you sit in your Master bedroom?"

Her: "No, but its so big i need furniture to fill the space"

Me: "Facepalm"
 
2012-09-02 08:57:56 PM  
WTF?!? How is this allowed?

This monstrosity should be confiscated, refurbished into individual apartments, and given to disadvantaged families!
No one person should be able to own that much space!

/you know some people are thinking this
 
2012-09-02 08:59:55 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x685]

Home life: The husband, pictured in their Texas home with an infant, presumably their youngest child; MailOnline has blurred their face


that's no infant, that's a CAT


That was a different, and frightening article. I'm waiting to see what headlines people can think up for it...
 
2012-09-02 09:06:33 PM  
Oh definitely thats a horribly ugly mansion! I could never ever live in that shiat box!
Duh!
 
2012-09-02 09:06:54 PM  

Alphakronik: [i1151.photobucket.com image 552x367]


well in today's society, ugly actually means pretty. and attractive means gross
 
2012-09-02 09:14:25 PM  

mjg: [thecandycloset.files.wordpress.com image 500x413]

horrid

/


I personally disagree. I find it to be pretty awesome.

then again im a sucker for things like that
 
2012-09-02 09:15:31 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion


That's an incredibly tacky looking place. If I bought it (yeah, right), I'd gut the damned place and get it redecorated with some style. And urinals? I don't think I've ever seen urinals outside of work or public restrooms.
 
2012-09-02 09:17:33 PM  
If you look around nearby Great Neck and Kings Point (the latter in particular), there are a lot of houses that look like this. The wealthy Iranian-American community seems to favor this kind of style.

I'm half Iranian, so I can tell by the pixels, or something.
 
2012-09-02 09:19:53 PM  

mjg: [thecandycloset.files.wordpress.com image 500x413]

horrid

/


While Fallingwater is famous for its design, Wright fought with his team of engineers from the get-go, and most of the house had to be reinforced from 1995-2002 to keep it from falling over into the creek. Ironically, one of the engineers changed the design during the original to add extra support for the concrete (without telling Wright) and it still proved insufficient.
 
2012-09-02 09:23:43 PM  
I'd probably design something fairly incoherent if I suddenly had the money to build a huge mansion. I love Brutalist exterior styling with hard angles and lots of raw concrete, and I like exposed metal, especially bronze and copper inside. I also like a lot of dark stained wood, plush dark red , blue, and green carpets, polished brick and concrete floors, and high ceilings.

My dream home would probably look like Winston Churchill furnished a Soviet era government building.
 
2012-09-02 09:26:38 PM  
Its ugly and good luck getting that much when it needs a lot of updating and likely a remodel to appeal to those with the kind of money they are asking for.
 
2012-09-02 09:30:34 PM  
Sutyagin House in Russia isn't American, so it isn't eligible:

upload.wikimedia.org

Link
 
2012-09-02 09:35:11 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion


That is hideous. As a person who does inspections on high end houses in central Indiana, I am impressed by how over the top that one is. The worst one I have seen in recent memory was similar to the one in the article for this thread, but sort of Indian themed. They had all this ornate fencing that appeared to be made out of aluminum with a black base coat and spray painted gold accents. Tacky. It was like they were trying to make it look like some kind of palace, but if you looked closely at any of the details everything was cheaply done. I'm sure it was really expensive to build, but the final result was just big and cheap.

/They had roof leaks everywhere because the builder did not understand that parapets require cap flashing.
 
2012-09-02 09:37:02 PM  
The ugliest one I ever saw was a Celestial Barn about half way up Soledad Mountain in LaJolla. It looked like was painted by Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters after a five day binge. This was 25 years ago, so I have no idea if the damn thing is still there.
 
2012-09-02 09:38:27 PM  

fzumrk: Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion

That is hideous. As a person who does inspections on high end houses in central Indiana, I am impressed by how over the top that one is. The worst one I have seen in recent memory was similar to the one in the article for this thread, but sort of Indian themed. They had all this ornate fencing that appeared to be made out of aluminum with a black base coat and spray painted gold accents. Tacky. It was like they were trying to make it look like some kind of palace, but if you looked closely at any of the details everything was cheaply done. I'm sure it was really expensive to build, but the final result was just big and cheap.

/They had roof leaks everywhere because the builder did not understand that parapets require cap flashing.


I know of a similar house here in Atlanta. I hate driving past the damn thing.
 
2012-09-02 09:39:56 PM  
Another fine example of a newspaper showing you just enough to justify their opinion. 128 Windsor Gate. Across from a country club, lake, easy access to the LIE.
 
2012-09-02 09:46:39 PM  
De gustibus non disputandum est
 
2012-09-02 09:47:26 PM  
it looks like something out of miami vice.
 
2012-09-02 09:51:43 PM  
I wouldn't throw it out of bed for eating crackers.
 
2012-09-02 09:52:05 PM  
What, no fountain?! This is an outrage!
 
2012-09-02 09:54:01 PM  
I don't know what the decorator got for doing that place, but it should've been life.
 
2012-09-02 09:59:13 PM  

Summoner101: phalamir: Summoner101: With that much money, can't you pay someone to have taste for you?

Nope.

Well, yes, but you have to first realize you need help. For something that big and expensive, no architect is going to move forward without you signing off on the design. so, you will look at picture and/or virtual tours of the place. Now, if you realize you have no style, you nod sagely, thank the architect for his time and expertise, and thinks go well. But if you are flaming douchnozzle who thinks architects are glorified draftsmen and that you have superb style ... well, then you get horror shows. When I was in architecture school, the one thing they emphasized was that the client was paying for the project and that the client always got what they wanted - your job was to try and con them into wanting something that wasn't complete crap

Huh. You'd think people would listen to the person with the degree in the field of expertise rather than their trophy wife they picked up from the local Hooters.

The more you know.


Which one looks better naked?
 
2012-09-02 10:01:01 PM  

mrmyxolodian: Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion

It's like it was designed by a 13 year old.


I have the taste of a 13 year old then, because I love it :)

\still can't figure out why most people find colors clash with one another, I love any color combination
\\once spent 2 hours in Kohls trying to figure out what shirts matched khaki pants
\\\not color blind, but everything goes together in my mind
 
2012-09-02 10:21:41 PM  

OscarTamerz: Count on the taste free Brits to bash some Bauhaus architecture. .


This. Could use a few round windows though.
 
2012-09-02 10:41:12 PM  
Not a bad lookin' dump.
 
2012-09-02 10:41:46 PM  

PonceAlyosha: mrmyxolodian: Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion

It's like it was designed by a 13 year old.

Someone unlocked the tutorial level of autoCAD.


I was thinking more like they just downloaded all the add-ons for The Sims and wanted to try them all out.
 
2012-09-02 10:46:47 PM  

steamingpile: What athlete owns that house?


THIS.

Former Mariner Jamie Moyers' monstrosity in Seattle's Magnolia neighborhood has been on the market for over two years with no sale. The price has been reduced from $8.9 mil to $4.85 mil. The exterior and grounds are ok, but what they've done to the interior....hmm. To quote Douglas Adams, it more or exactly fails to please the eye, which is why it's still on the market.

Back about twenty years ago, when Paul Allen started getting stupid rich, he bought five adjacent houses in Mercer Island (going for a few mil each in those humbler days), and built until they all met together. His sister was the architect. A friend and I pried open the loose chain link fencing one weekend and walked through the site mid-project, and were stunned at its hideousness. Wish I'd taken pictures.
 
2012-09-02 10:50:48 PM  

ThighsofGlory: Summoner101:
Huh. You'd think people would listen to the person with the degree in the field of expertise rather than their trophy wife they picked up from the local Hooters.

The more you know.

Which one looks better naked?


Which on is going to live in it? Architects can be guilty of making their next brochure instead of a home.
 
2012-09-02 11:00:34 PM  
Is this the ugliest mansion in America?

Probably not.

Seriously, what's the big deal here? I wouldn't own it, even if I had the money, but for "ugliest in America", I wasn't really expecting it to just look like a mansion. Is this how people handle their jealousy now, by pretending that somehow if THEY had $6 mil to spend, their house would be the epitome of taste? It has "multiple TV sets" in the bar area? Oh the HORROR!!
 
2012-09-02 11:09:22 PM  
Looks like the kind of place a televangelist would live.
bumpshack.com
I think it is just tacky enough for her.
 
2012-09-02 11:10:25 PM  

Miss Stein: steamingpile: What athlete owns that house?

THIS.

Former Mariner Jamie Moyers' monstrosity in Seattle's Magnolia neighborhood has been on the market for over two years with no sale.


You win. The house in TFA and the Indiana one linked above are bad, but in a sort of 'I'm rich and don't care what you think' way. This one looks like someone tried really hard to impressive their in-laws with misguided pastiche.

What in the holy hell is going on in that kitchen? And the archways... just wow.
 
2012-09-02 11:14:49 PM  

Cluckity: Miss Stein: steamingpile: What athlete owns that house?

THIS.

Former Mariner Jamie Moyers' monstrosity in Seattle's Magnolia neighborhood has been on the market for over two years with no sale.

You win. The house in TFA and the Indiana one linked above are bad, but in a sort of 'I'm rich and don't care what you think' way. This one looks like someone tried really hard to impressive their in-laws with misguided pastiche.

What in the holy hell is going on in that kitchen? And the archways... just wow.


I kind of like the combo sauna/cinema.

dist-cache.windermere.com
 
2012-09-02 11:17:35 PM  
The landscaping is horrible. Stark formal landscaping like that should be only be attempted with a house that has more interesting lines and color, and the interior looks like something out of a Miami Vice episode.
 
2012-09-02 11:20:18 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion


That one's not that bad, either... Seems to be a mish-mash of different styles, and it's way more ostentatious than I would ev er go for, but not sure if it's "ugly", outside of the aforementioned fact that it's way too over the top for me. Also, not sure why it's "confusing" either. Maybe I just haven't gotten the email on mansion-bashing, they are usually not my style anyway...
 
2012-09-02 11:33:11 PM  

mjg: horrid

/


Go back to your cardboard box
 
2012-09-02 11:38:35 PM  
FTFA: Party house: The property, which sprawls over 8,700 feet, even boasts its own bar

"Even?" I live in a shiatty little craphole, and I have a bar.
 
2012-09-02 11:46:14 PM  

Devolving_Spud: Sutyagin House in Russia isn't American, so it isn't eligible:

Link


Bishop Castle is American...
www.ohiobarns.com
 
2012-09-02 11:54:32 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: And urinals? I don't think I've ever seen urinals outside of work or public restrooms.


My grandfather actually had one in the powder room of the house he built in the 1970s. It was light blue, to match the toilet and the sink.

Those are the sort of people I come from.

Fissile: Kykuit, the Rockefeller estate in Westchester County, New York. A newspaper writer once described it as, "The kind of place God would build for himself if he had the cash."


It's not clear who originally said that and what they were talking about, but that line is usually attributed to George Bernard Shaw on his visit to William R Hearst's San Simeon (Heart Castle), which makes a lot more sense.

While the facade in that image is Dutch Baroque gotten carried away with itself, the main house at Kykuit is fairly small as far as mansions of that era go. JD Rockefeller Sr's greatest extravagance there was the 18-hole golf course on the grounds, which he had completely cleared of snow even in the middle of winter so he could play at least one round every day.
 
2012-09-02 11:56:33 PM  

ParadisePornoTheater: It's stark, but not ugly. To quote Linus Van Pelt, "it just needs a little love". Or just a better paint job.

/Daily Mail message board is a joke
//they're probably still butthurt at me
///I supposedly wasn't nice enough to Posh Spice or Madonna


I like it. The only change I'd make, as if I could afford to, is sloped roofs.
 
2012-09-03 12:12:55 AM  
How's the market at Lake Hubris?
 
2012-09-03 12:42:55 AM  

Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion


I dunno. The penis chandelier brings the room together.
 
2012-09-03 12:52:28 AM  

saturn badger: Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion

I dunno. The penis chandelier brings the room together.


I can't seem to find the penis chandelier, but this room is awesome, I totally want one like this, just with a smaller fireplace and leather chairs with brass tacks:

cdn.cstatic.net

CSB:

When I worked door to door sales a house on my route had a doorknocker that looked like a big pair of metal testicles. I knocked it, and heard someone call to come around back, so I did. The residents, who were two fabulously flamingly gay men, were sitting poolside in tiny speedos drinking what looked like daquiries. It was such a stereotypically gay scene that I had a hard time keeping a straight face. They turned out to be good customers though, gotta love gay men, two incomes and no kids usually means lots of money to throw around.
 
2012-09-03 12:54:27 AM  
I wouldn't call it ugly so much as generic. Looks like the ones seen in a gajillion porn videos.

I'd say all it's missing is Billy Joel crashing through the front window.
 
2012-09-03 12:54:39 AM  

Cluckity: Miss Stein: steamingpile: What athlete owns that house?

THIS.

Former Mariner Jamie Moyers' monstrosity in Seattle's Magnolia neighborhood has been on the market for over two years with no sale.

You win. The house in TFA and the Indiana one linked above are bad, but in a sort of 'I'm rich and don't care what you think' way. This one looks like someone tried really hard to impressive their in-laws with misguided pastiche.

What in the holy hell is going on in that kitchen? And the archways... just wow.


The pocket door in the kitchen killed me. Can't tell if it's covered in gold-flake wallpaper or marble laminate. Or maybe leftover wedding present giftwrap.
 
2012-09-03 12:56:04 AM  
I like the flash retro chandaleers in the dining room, but the room itself looks like a ship cabin. Yech! Teal! The most hateful of all the blues except for Microsoft Screen of Death Cobalt. In fact, the whole house looks more like a luxury yacht (but not a Throat Wobbler Mangrove Luxury Yacht) than a gas station.

I agree that the portico is over whelming and that it does make that part of the house look like a gas station, and the four door garage should probably have been hidden away or put in a disguised out-building because I hate houses where the garage is stuck on the front or side like a great gaping wound. Garages and carriage houses are supposed to be hidden away round back or behind a porte-cochère, not the primary feature of the facade.

I hate square columns or pillars. They look cheap, industrial and nasty. They ruin many a faux Georgian house. If you're going classical, go classical. If you want two by fours, build in wood.

The all-white interior is middle class, sterile and artificial. I doesn't convey either grandeur or homeliness, let alone both, which is what a good WASP aristocrat or patrician is going for. I don't mind modern architecture if it is built with humans in mind, but a lot of these monster homes are just monstrous and inhuman as well as shlocky and trite. One gets the impression that a lot of modern architects hate their employers and love cutting corners, so what you end up is an oversized suburban crap box with a bit of pretentious finishing in thin gaudy marble and thinner walls of two by fours and crap board, held together by glue, staples and other child art project materials.

Build a house to last two or three centuries at least, or don't build at all. The most humble stone crofter cottages of the 1800s are often better than modern "mansions". Mind you, much of the middle classes of Europe are living in refurbished granges, stables, and peasant cottages. There has been a serious decline in quality and nobody wants to live in the cast-off mansions of the vulgar, stupid and gullible rich any more.
 
2012-09-03 01:26:27 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion

That's an incredibly tacky looking place. If I bought it (yeah, right), I'd gut the damned place and get it redecorated with some style. And urinals? I don't think I've ever seen urinals outside of work or public restrooms.


The urinal thing isn't too uncommon. I did a stint selling real estate for Sotheby's, and urinals are a pissing match for the wealthy.

/ I was once given the entire lineage of a urinal in one of my listings-"This was rescued from a speakeasy..."

//Only thing I learned from that job is that self importance knows no bounds.

///Enjoy the what you've earned, but when it reaches the point that you take pride in what you piss in, you've lost your compass.
 
2012-09-03 02:08:31 AM  

Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus: Devolving_Spud: Sutyagin House in Russia isn't American, so it isn't eligible:

Link

Bishop Castle is American...
[www.ohiobarns.com image 300x432]


That is actually kind of cool.
 
2012-09-03 02:09:54 AM  

ihatethemall: / I was once given the entire lineage of a urinal in one of my listings-"This was rescued from a speakeasy..."

//Only thing I learned from that job is that self importance knows no bounds.

///Enjoy the what you've earned, but when it reaches the point that you take pride in what you piss in, you've lost your compass.


I don't know, those old-fashioned urinals which go all the way into the floor are probably the best thing to piss in ever, and they don't make them anymore. no splashback, no worrying about dribbling on your shoes.

/Fergie's here in Philly still has them in their men's room
 
2012-09-03 02:12:08 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: saturn badger: Dwight_Yeast: DesktopHippie: Man, I cringe every time the Daily Fail is greenlit here. Does Fark really need to fund that racist piece of rubbish?

It's not just that they're racist; ever piece they publish contains a kernel of fail, sometimes small, sometimes (in this case) large.

Th whit: there are far uglier houses on the market in the US at the moment. This one takes the prize for me: Please Say Hello to Indiana's Most Confusing Megamansion

I dunno. The penis chandelier brings the room together.

I can't seem to find the penis chandelier, but this room is awesome, I totally want one like this, just with a smaller fireplace and leather chairs with brass tacks:

[cdn.cstatic.net image 640x439]

CSB:

When I worked door to door sales a house on my route had a doorknocker that looked like a big pair of metal testicles. I knocked it, and heard someone call to come around back, so I did. The residents, who were two fabulously flamingly gay men, were sitting poolside in tiny speedos drinking what looked like daquiries. It was such a stereotypically gay scene that I had a hard time keeping a straight face. They turned out to be good customers though, gotta love gay men, two incomes and no kids usually means lots of money to throw around.


Look harder.

/did I really say that?
//I did
 
2012-09-03 02:15:57 AM  

ihatethemall: /Enjoy the what you've earned, but when it reaches the point that you take pride in what you piss in, you've lost your compass.


I am stealing this.
 
2012-09-03 02:25:40 AM  

Dwight_Yeast: ihatethemall: / I was once given the entire lineage of a urinal in one of my listings-"This was rescued from a speakeasy..."

//Only thing I learned from that job is that self importance knows no bounds.

///Enjoy the what you've earned, but when it reaches the point that you take pride in what you piss in, you've lost your compass.

I don't know, those old-fashioned urinals which go all the way into the floor are probably the best thing to piss in ever, and they don't make them anymore. no splashback, no worrying about dribbling on your shoes.

/Fergie's here in Philly still has them in their men's room


Oh, I wasn't badmouthing the porcelain itself. You're right that they're the bee's knees of urination, but it still makes for a pathetic trophy.
 
2012-09-03 02:26:10 AM  

Another Government Employee: The ugliest one I ever saw was a Celestial Barn about half way up Soledad Mountain in LaJolla. It looked like was painted by Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters after a five day binge. This was 25 years ago, so I have no idea if the damn thing is still there.


Google Streetview, please get on that so the rest of us can see it if it's still there :D
 
2012-09-03 03:06:20 AM  
I've seen worse.
 
2012-09-03 05:25:38 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: When I worked door to door sales a house on my route had a doorknocker that looked like a big pair of metal testicles.


I really, really, really want that testicles door knocker which if I remember correctly appeared in Scary Movie 2, or at least something similar.

Anyone know where I can get one?

/want to give those coming to my door the wrong idea
 
2012-09-03 07:03:19 AM  
Trivia: the house in the article was used as Gregory Hines mansion in the remake of The Preacher's Wife.
 
2012-09-03 07:31:51 AM  
Looks German.
 
2012-09-03 07:45:30 AM  
The property in question is at 124 Windsor Gate, Great Neck, NY. It's about 1000 feet from the Long Island Expressway so it's got that going for it.

I can't find any ownership records.
 
2012-09-03 08:20:52 AM  

ladyfortuna: Another Government Employee: The ugliest one I ever saw was a Celestial Barn about half way up Soledad Mountain in LaJolla. It looked like was painted by Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters after a five day binge. This was 25 years ago, so I have no idea if the damn thing is still there.

Google Streetview, please get on that so the rest of us can see it if it's still there :D


It doesn't look like Streetview is available in LaJolla. But looking on GE, it looks much more densely developed now. I'm going to guess the barn was blown away and replaced with something bigger.
 
2012-09-03 08:53:40 AM  
The more modern styling isn't 'my style', and there is way too much white for my tastes, but I don't think it's ugly.
 
2012-09-03 09:08:02 AM  

brantgoose:

I agree that the portico is over whelming and that it does make that part of the house look like a gas station, and the four door garage should probably have been hidden away or put in a disguised out-building because I hate houses where the garage is stuck on the front or side like a great gaping wound. Garages and carriage houses are supposed to be hidden away round back or behind a porte-cochère, not the primary feature of the facade.

I hate square columns or pillars. They look cheap, industrial and nasty. They ruin many a faux Georgian house. If you're going classical, go classical. If you want two by fours, build in wood.



So much this. The annoying thing about American suburbs built since the the end of WWII is that the garage becomes the central focus of the house. If possible, a garage should not be part of the house. If it is unavoidable, the garage door should not be seen from the street.

/Lived in a house build in 1927
// Proper detached garage out in back.
 
2012-09-03 09:36:20 AM  
Yep. Ugly. It's like a mash up of Greek Revival, Brutalist and International, and it doesn't work. I've seen better looking mausoleums.
 
2012-09-03 09:46:34 AM  
This is one of those places whose message is, "My owner wants you to know that he is rich. Specifically, he is richer than you. His house is bigger, he has more cars, he even has more television screens. He has more of everything, and he poured a huge amount of money into this house to make sure you know that. He doesn't even like the house...in fact he hates it. Let's face it, this house is ugly as hell and cold and impersonal and you could never feel at ease here. But he's RICHER THAN YOU."

Pretty sad. Three TV screens in the living room? What, so you can feel like you're at Buffalo Wild Wings?
 
2012-09-03 10:23:50 AM  
They should send in some sort of expert to deal with all of the potatocam artifacts.
 
2012-09-03 10:29:53 AM  

2wolves: Whiter than a KKK rally.


Yeah, that was my first impression, too. That place must be hell to keep clean.
 
2012-09-03 10:32:07 AM  
Interior furnishings look like a guido's wet dream.

The house itself is too boxy and white.

/dream house is a Craftsman bungalow in the California Heights section of Long Beach
//stuck in suburban Atlanta upside down in a subdivision
///part of the problem
 
2012-09-03 11:25:59 AM  

Kibbler: This is one of those places whose message is, "My owner wants you to know that he is rich. Specifically, he is richer than you. His house is bigger, he has more cars, he even has more television screens. He has more of everything, and he poured a huge amount of money into this house to make sure you know that. He doesn't even like the house...in fact he hates it. Let's face it, this house is ugly as hell and cold and impersonal and you could never feel at ease here. But he's RICHER THAN YOU."

Pretty sad. Three TV screens in the living room? What, so you can feel like you're at Buffalo Wild Wings?


farstarblog.com
 
2012-09-03 01:15:15 PM  
Geez, mansions are cheap down there. That house would bring a lot more if you moved it to Toronto!!

/Bland yes, ugly, no way. Quite fixable.
//Too big for our 3 person family, but I guess each cat could have their own room?
 
2012-09-03 01:36:14 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: And urinals? I don't think I've ever seen urinals outside of work or public restrooms.


It's not that the house has a urinal, it's that it has urinals. Because sometimes you might need to take a piss, but there's already some guy at the urinal in your master bathroom*. No problem, there's another.

On the other hand, if I had a full-sized replica of a random sports bar in my basement, I'd want it to be fully staffed every night by a random and rotating crowd of strangers, sitting at other tables and chatting amongst themselves in small groups or watching TV.


* NTTAWWT
 
2012-09-03 02:08:05 PM  

notmtwain: The property in question is at 124 Windsor Gate, Great Neck, NY. It's about 1000 feet from the Long Island Expressway so it's got that going for it.

I can't find any ownership records.


I used the white pages reverse directory, and came up with Joel D. Cowart III. There's also an H.L. Cowart and a Pete Cowart at the same address.
 
2012-09-03 03:37:38 PM  

Fissile: If possible, a garage should not be part of the house. If it is unavoidable, the garage door should not be seen from the street.


Well, it IS nice to be able to get out of the car and into the house without getting wet if it's raining.

/has a detached garage.
 
2012-09-03 05:59:16 PM  
The house in TFA is better-looking than the so-called 'Christmas Castle' in Boston:

blog.arithm.com

...which earned its name because of what the previous owner did with it every December:

farm3.staticflickr.com
 
2012-09-03 06:14:38 PM  

painless42: Her: "I need to buy a couch this weekend"

Me: "Didnt you just buy a livingroom set."

Her: " This is for the master bedroom"

Me: "Do you sit in your Master bedroom?"

Her: "No, but its so big i need furniture to fill the space"

Me: "Facepalm"


I have a couch in my bedroom so I'm getting a kick...

I don't have a mini-mansion by any stretch of the imagination, but my master was originally designed as a dormitory for a large family and so is abnormally long. Didn't know what I was supposed to do with the extra space until I got all the other furniture settled and still had a leftover love seat. Now I really like reading in there.
 
2012-09-03 07:47:52 PM  
While I would not call it beautiful, I would not call it ugly either. As for the gas station comment, I dont get it. It looks nothing like a gas station. The Brits gas stations must look very different from ours, much like their teeth.
 
2012-09-03 09:29:39 PM  
I don't think it's that ugly. Most of the issues seem to be with the furniture, but that can be fixed.
 
2012-09-03 10:54:24 PM  
Dining room is certainly not my style but there's nothing wrong with the rest as far as I can see
 
2012-09-04 01:44:47 PM  

Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus: Devolving_Spud: Sutyagin House in Russia isn't American, so it isn't eligible:

Link

Bishop Castle is American...
[www.ohiobarns.com image 300x432]


Holy crap!
 
2012-09-04 05:38:57 PM  
Skirl Hutsenreiter:

I have a couch in my bedroom so I'm getting a kick...

I don't have a mini-mansion by any stretch of the imagination, but my master was originally designed as a dormitory for a large family and so is abnormally long. Didn't know what I was supposed to do with the extra space until I got all the other furniture settled and still had a leftover love seat. Now I really like reading in there.

Yeah I have an extremely large bedroom on the top floor with a huge view (pacific ocean over a volcano island), so have both armchairs and a desk up there. Nice to work there on a sunny day and enjoy the ships and stuff. People have such stifled views of what rooms are 'for'
 
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