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(NPR)   Why I'm a Republican   (npr.org) divider line 110
    More: Unlikely, GOP, Community Rules  
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9885 clicks; posted to Politics » on 02 Sep 2012 at 12:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-09-02 09:43:16 AM
15 votes:
i'm gonna guess....a mix of 'battered wife' and 'Stockholm' syndrome.
2012-09-02 01:47:44 PM
12 votes:

MayoSlather: Well if you had watched the GOP primaries they gave us plenty of tools... for great comedy.


i151.photobucket.com

Q&D
2012-09-02 10:14:51 AM
9 votes:

WorldCitizen: Screw you, I got mine (that I or my ancestors used the public infrastructure to help acquire)?

I'm not a big fan of gay people (or insert other minority/minorities here)?

I don't want to pay not stinking taxes to help anyone else (or even myself as I'm too short sighted to see the point of taxes in the bigger picture)!?

I ain't got a pot to piss in, but one day when I've made my millions off what I built without using any public infrastructure, I'm not gonna wanna give it all away to the govment in taxes?

Jesus!?

Obama and the Democrats are after my guns!?

Because Socialism!?

Muslims are out to establish their religious laws in 'Merica and make us Muslim, and someone has to stop them (and I totally don't understand why people are opposed to using the Bible as the basis for our laws in 'Merica)!?

I'm against government run health care and other socialisms (but don't touch my Medicare or Social Security!)?


Because I'm an asshole.
2012-09-02 09:47:33 AM
9 votes:
Screw you, I got mine (that I or my ancestors used the public infrastructure to help acquire)?

I'm not a big fan of gay people (or insert other minority/minorities here)?

I don't want to pay not stinking taxes to help anyone else (or even myself as I'm too short sighted to see the point of taxes in the bigger picture)!?

I ain't got a pot to piss in, but one day when I've made my millions off what I built without using any public infrastructure, I'm not gonna wanna give it all away to the govment in taxes?

Jesus!?

Obama and the Democrats are after my guns!?

Because Socialism!?

Muslims are out to establish their religious laws in 'Merica and make us Muslim, and someone has to stop them (and I totally don't understand why people are opposed to using the Bible as the basis for our laws in 'Merica)!?

I'm against government run health care and other socialisms (but don't touch my Medicare or Social Security!)?
2012-09-02 10:09:43 AM
8 votes:
Because those Democrats want to take all my money and give it to big-city welfare queens so they can buy $200 sneakers for their 14 kids who sell drugs all day instead of attending school. And don't even get me started on the queers. Bunch of filthy heathens.
2012-09-02 11:23:43 AM
7 votes:

Marcus Aurelius: EnviroDude: Because democrats want to destroy the Republic.

That's quite a projection complex you have there. Counseling can help. And there's medication too, if you can afford it.


Thanks to health care reform, he's got a better chance.
2012-09-02 10:58:42 PM
6 votes:
img843.imageshack.us
2012-09-02 11:06:46 AM
6 votes:

EnviroDude: Because democrats want to destroy the Republic.


.02789365148/10
2012-09-02 12:54:46 PM
5 votes:
i45.tinypic.com

"So what I'm saying is that I support the party that wants to destroy the social safety net so people who have more money than they could possibly spend in their lifetime will have a little more. I mean, if I, the white male child of a stable upper-middle-class family can make it on my own, why can't unemployed people just work at their dad's company until he can line them up with a job somewhere else? Freeloaders."
2012-09-02 12:38:09 PM
5 votes:
The TL/DR version from the FTFA:

Casey Pick - Because Jesus
Dan Bognino - Fark IndependentTM
Dave Myers - Delusional
Nikki Haley - Delusional (Republicans aren't going to make decisiona for you and your family - seriously?)
Herman Cain - I have mine so fark you
Mitch McConnell - The Federal Government is scary and oppressive - be very afraid
Mary Burke-Russell - Genetics
Scott Thomas - I'm going to have mine, so fark you
Tony O'Donnell - Because Reagan
Ron Morrell - Fark IndepndentTM
Alexander Reber - I have a man crush on [Virginia Gov.] Bob McDonnell. Otherwise, my spending priorities align with Democrats.
Michael Carr - Delusional Libertarian
Betty Heinamen - Social conservative
JoAnn Fisher - I hate Mexicans
April Bengivenga - Because Reagan and scary Black Man
2012-09-02 10:32:47 AM
5 votes:
You misspelled Rapeublican, Subby.
2012-09-02 10:04:10 AM
5 votes:

WorldCitizen: Screw you, I got mine (that I or my ancestors used the public infrastructure to help acquire)?

I'm not a big fan of gay people (or insert other minority/minorities here)?

I don't want to pay not stinking taxes to help anyone else (or even myself as I'm too short sighted to see the point of taxes in the bigger picture)!?

I ain't got a pot to piss in, but one day when I've made my millions off what I built without using any public infrastructure, I'm not gonna wanna give it all away to the govment in taxes?

Jesus!?

Obama and the Democrats are after my guns!?

Because Socialism!?

Muslims are out to establish their religious laws in 'Merica and make us Muslim, and someone has to stop them (and I totally don't understand why people are opposed to using the Bible as the basis for our laws in 'Merica)!?

I'm against government run health care and other socialisms (but don't touch my Medicare or Social Security!)?


The president's a blah person.
2012-09-02 02:09:16 PM
4 votes:
Most of those answers can be summed up thus:

"I'm a Republican because I've lived a privileged life, whether I realize it or not. I'm comfortable assuming that because I had the tools to be successful at my disposal, they must be just as accessible to everyone else, and people who aren't as successful as me just didn't try hard enough. I'm a Republican because I don't believe in the government controlling my life, but I believe in it controlling the lives of people who are not like me. I am Republican because I enjoy the advantage of being a white Christian, and I am a Republican because I want that to continue."
2012-09-02 01:05:34 PM
4 votes:
Republicans want less government for the same reason criminals want less cops.
2012-09-02 12:50:30 PM
4 votes:
Why do republicans always have some sort of "Origin Story" like a farking superhero.

/I was bitten by a Reganoactive spider.
2012-09-02 12:34:59 PM
4 votes:
Why I'm NOT a Republican:

-I believe in a homosexual's right to marriage/civil unions and to receive all the rights and benefits therein
-I believe in the social safety net
-I believe in responsible management of natural resources, not raped-earth glutinous frenzies as proposed by Romney-Ryan
-I believe in a woman's inalienable right to choice and birth control
-I believe in equal pay for equal work
-I'm against shooting wolves from airplanes for sport
-I'm against rabid deregulation
-I believe in Keynesian economics
-I'm not afraid of Shariah Law and nor do I believe it's a threat to American law
-I'm against racial profiling
-I have a sense of humor
2012-09-02 12:22:42 PM
4 votes:
www.politifake.org
2012-09-02 10:22:15 PM
3 votes:
Why I'm a Republican:

newscoma.com
2012-09-02 01:15:47 PM
3 votes:

skipjack: I'm conservative because that's the political ideology I agree with.


I'm impressed by the careful introspection that has led you to your current ideological position, and by the clarity with which you articulate the intellectual journey that brought you to this point. You're clearly a master of dialectic.
2012-09-02 01:04:07 PM
3 votes:
i49.tinypic.com

"I wasn't accepted to college."
2012-09-02 12:44:10 PM
3 votes:
i46.tinypic.com

"I've been trained to hate myself."
2012-09-02 12:41:34 PM
3 votes:

valar_morghulis: -I'm against shooting wolves from airplanes for sport


We appreciate that.
2012-09-02 12:31:01 PM
3 votes:

skipjack: A liberal circle jerk given to you by the mods...and you guys have barely got it over 50 posts.

/son..i am dissapoint


Don't worry princess, I'm sure they'll post something stupid from something like TownHall or American Thinker to suit your tastes.
2012-09-02 12:11:57 PM
3 votes:
My party has failed me. It's been infiltrated by idiots and assholes. This November I'm voting for zombie Reagan.
2012-09-02 11:49:17 AM
3 votes:

rumpelstiltskin: Because those Democrats want to take all my money and give it to big-city welfare queens so they can buy $200 sneakers for their 14 kids who sell drugs all day instead of attending school. And don't even get me started on the queers. Bunch of filthy heathens.


[prettysureyourejokingbut]

I'd rather my taxes went up so that every black person in American can use food stamps to buy steaks and Champagne, than to have one more penny of it go to the richest assholes that will move it offshore to avoid paying taxes.
2012-09-02 11:14:39 AM
3 votes:

EnviroDude: Because democrats want to destroy the Republic.


That's quite a projection complex you have there. Counseling can help. And there's medication too, if you can afford it.
2012-09-02 11:03:41 AM
3 votes:
Because democrats want to destroy the Republic.
2012-09-02 10:36:17 AM
3 votes:
freeversephotography.com
/not going to read through all of them, but I assume this is in there
2012-09-02 08:34:33 PM
2 votes:

Ricardo Klement: bunner: Ricardo Klement: so long as they're not corrupt.

So, Mars?

Point taken. But I really meant it as a relative measure.


Incest is never a good idea.
2012-09-02 05:45:13 PM
2 votes:

MikeMc: Because women re-learn that their sole purpose is to be used as breeding stock.


i46.tinypic.com

Ain't no bull gonna approach this cow. Best send her off to slaughter.
2012-09-02 03:41:09 PM
2 votes:

Kumana Wanalaia: Jesus said to love thy neighbor. Seems to me that Democrats give more love than Republicans.

And don't give me "yeah, with other people's money" or else I'll break out the [red-state-socialism.jpg]


Hold on a second there pinko. That was commie Jesus not good old American supply side Jesus.
2012-09-02 02:40:14 PM
2 votes:

Rann Xerox: Dave Myers, 23, Maryland delegate

"My parents taught me individual responsibility. You have to rely on yourself to get you anywhere."


No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.


As if that guy would know John Donne or how to read.
2012-09-02 01:21:19 PM
2 votes:
Why I'm a Democrat

i208.photobucket.com



ftfm
2012-09-02 01:00:20 PM
2 votes:
i46.tinypic.com

"Awwwww SHUCKEY DUCKEY! Remember to buy my book."
2012-09-02 12:41:33 PM
2 votes:
i45.tinypic.com

"A B-list actor who intentionally stalled the release of the Iranian hostages as President? So dreamy!!! Black people scare me, because they want to steal from me."
2012-09-02 12:38:50 PM
2 votes:
Having read that, each person says basically one of three things:

I'm a libertarian, and I like being tied down to a party that only tangentially follows my beliefs

Ronald Reagan, or some other person, inspired me to be a Republican

I completely fail to understand the issues, and think both parties do the opposite of what they actually do.
2012-09-02 12:36:20 PM
2 votes:
i49.tinypic.com

"... So I vote for the party that explicitly shoots down tax cuts for small business owners, and picked a Presidential candidate who made his fortune gutting businesses, raping their assets, and leaving them to pick up the tab for loans he used to give himself bonuses. I'm an idiot."
2012-09-02 12:28:47 PM
2 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: zappaisfrank: Just more bullshiat from "Pretend Obama Land". It would be funnier if it weren't so farkin' pathetic.

They really are running against an Obama that only they can see



"I will make a bargain with the Republicans. If they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them." -Adlai Stevenson
2012-09-02 12:22:55 PM
2 votes:
Slight mental retardation?
2012-09-02 12:20:04 PM
2 votes:
"Because rich people are Republicans and I always wanted to be rich." - my mother.

/facepalm
2012-09-02 12:11:44 PM
2 votes:
I saw two black people. Can't tell me that diversity isn't present.
2012-09-02 12:11:12 PM
2 votes:

EnviroDude: I will be able to take a pain pill when I need a pacemaker at an elderly age per Obama. So much for the right to live.


You're bringing up 3 year old, busted talking points? Oh my god, you are so screwed in November.
2012-09-02 11:24:39 AM
2 votes:
FTA: "My parents taught me individual responsibility. You have to rely on yourself to get you anywhere."

Because democrat's parents taught them to suckle from the government teat? Or did his parents throw him out in the woods as a child and tell him "Survive you pussy, enough of this handholding."

Ridiculous, and no you didn't build that no matter how much work you do on your own. The human species is ill equipped to survive alone. It's a social animal that thrives in groups and builds off of our shared creativity. We have nothing as individuals. We most likely die of exposure or hunger when left to our own bootstrappiness. So while it's fantastic that they believe in accountability for the self, it's also ridiculous to insinuate they are anything without the benefit of a government structure that provides a platform for people to be successful.
2012-09-05 04:05:45 AM
1 votes:
Paint chips?
2012-09-04 09:58:40 AM
1 votes:

EnviroDude: Because democrats want to destroy the Republic.


media.tumblr.com


/ "An empty chair told me so!" doesn't count.
2012-09-03 01:49:26 AM
1 votes:

diaphoresis: bunner: diaphoresis: Reading this thread makes me glad I'm not a Dumbocrat... The excessively low IQs out here always make me laugh... I would pity most of you, but you brought it on yourselves...

Believe me. There's no way anybody would mistake you for a democrat. Or as somebody who can enter a debate with something other than a loud fart and a hearty shout of "that's cause y'all STINK!" HAW!"

-1/10

-1 for the made up, 3rd grade word as witty scathingly witty. : )

Haw.

Awww... isn't that cute.. go to bed dear.. it's way past your bedtime...


How sad an existence you must have. Having to troll a dead politics thread at 130 am before labor day must suck.
2012-09-02 10:42:23 PM
1 votes:
i45.tinypic.com

My parents also taught me never to spend more than 5 bucks on a haircut.
2012-09-02 08:57:20 PM
1 votes:

runcible spork: Ricardo Klement: It's hard to have an abortion discussion without seeming callous or making comparisons people will argue are mean-spirited. But in the same spirit as your observation that things like this happen in nature, I'll point out bears maul humans in nature, from time to time, but that doesn't mean I should let other humans maul humans. Essentially, this comes down to, "When does life start?" Most people aren't comfortable with on-demand abortion late in the third trimester, so obviously most of us appear to agree it's before birth. Where's that line? I start getting uncomfortable earlier than most pro-choice people. Does that make sense?

More or less. I certainly wouldn't advocate late-term abortions except for cases with severe risk to the mother. First trimester, the earlier the better, is obviously the best approach when such a course is chosen. There's a difference between mere existence and sensate, sentient life. And no matter what, it's never a decision to be taken lightly. It's traumatic and upsetting how ever one looks at it. Those who suggest otherwise are callous and disingenuous.


OK, but what about late term abortions where the mother's life isn't in serious danger, but her mental health is? What if she's just learned, for instance, she's carrying an anencephalic baby (if you can call it that) and the thing she's going to have to carry and deliver is about as alive as a baby-shaped piece of meat? What if she's one of those poor deluded teenagers who is JUST SURE she isn't pregnant, and promises to kill herself if you make her have a baby? (I saw a documentary that indicated a lot of late-term abortions are done for just this reason--the mother is herself a child and is in complete denial about the baby) Can we allow late-term abortions where these conditions apply, or only where the mother's physical health is at stake?
2012-09-02 08:37:56 PM
1 votes:

Don't Troll Me Bro!: Ricardo Klement: Let me tell you why I am Republican:

1) My economics education leaves me unconvinced that Keynesian economics can work. The math doesn't seem to support it, although I can appreciate the point of view and the argument that, "...we're all dead in the long-run." And while my economic puritanism runs afoul of Republicans when it comes to funding things like the NIH, NASA, and Department of Education, it's still closer to what the GOP at least pays lip-service to than what the Democratic Party believes. This doesn't mean I think that Democrats are morons. We just disagree.

2) I'm pro-life. Of course, that, too, runs afoul of the GOP because I am also against the death penalty. But while my position is unpopular, more often than not, it's usually met with begging the question assertions about women's bodies that are unconvincing. I'm not absolut or completely without doubts about my position, but being wrong about mine is less tragic than being wrong about the alternative view.

3) I'm hawkish on foreign policy. This means, of course, I'm no libertarian isolationist. My hawkishness is not without limits. For the record, I gave Bush the benefit of the doubt on Iraq, but was not against an impeachment investigation for his being wrong about Iraq. (That's generous. He royally pissed me off.) Anyway, that means I tend to be at odds with Democrats on defense spending.

4) I want to keep fighting the whackjobs in the GOP who have taken the party in a direction it should never have gone. Namely, increasing government interference in our lives in the name of religion. It may be a religion I share, but it's not a religion I believe should be removing free will by creating laws against sins that are God's to punish. 

That's the top reasons. I reserve the right to have more opinions.

We really need you around here. I don't agree with a lot of what you said, but I can take you seriously. Most people on the right at this point are just raving lu ...


I actually came here because my Democrat housemate offered to pay for my totalfark if I did. I guess he wanted a non-lunatic on here but settled for me.
2012-09-02 08:12:58 PM
1 votes:
Kids? The *point* of this whole free election fandango tango isn't to actually effect change or choose a better sock puppet CEO. The point is to give the illusion that we have any say in how things are run at all. It's the consolation prize for showing up at the Ongoing Con Festival™. It's the hot cocoa kit gift box with the freeze dried marshmallows. It's the talking Mickey Mouse plush animal.

This is the government.

www.thenader.com

You? You get back to work. And vote early and vote often. And CHEER FOR YOUR TEAM!

America is a business. And that business is moving to a new storefront. And you ain't got sh*t to say about it except how much you're willing to take to help pack the truck. Nor do I.
2012-09-02 07:35:51 PM
1 votes:

SusanCreature: why I'm not a Republican:

Stumping on abortion as a major platform issue.

Gimme a call after you've backed away from those two things, no promises but I'll reconsider.


The abortion issue is a valid complaint against us Republicans; it is a war we simply cannot win in its present state.

I am against Roe vs Wade simply because it should be considered a states rights issue - not adjudicated by a court. There will always be states that ban abortion, just like there will always be states that allow that procedure but getting all butthurt and self-righteous about when life begins is simply insane.

It is not up to anyone to mandate whether or not I carry a baby to term; that is between my conscience and my physician.  Personally? I'm pro-life but the decision to terminate a pregnancy is a woman's decision and not my place to force her to act against her conscience.
2012-09-02 04:40:03 PM
1 votes:

DarwiOdrade: "Because rich people are Republicans and I always wanted to be rich." - my mother.

/facepalm


And that... in a nutshell,

is the con.

"If you play along, there's room for you in the getaway car." *nudge* *wink* And we still lap it up like a thirsty dog.
2012-09-02 04:30:14 PM
1 votes:

Snark Shark II: Then we'd have to go into shades of conservative and go over issues. I don't have the desire to do that. We both know what Right is when we see it though.


So "right" is anything we want it to be?

Awesome! 

Universal health care is now a conservative issue.
2012-09-02 04:25:53 PM
1 votes:

eraser8: Snark Shark II: yeah, that was my mistake. I wasn't comparing the Democratic Party to other parties in other countries.

Okay, you asked how the Democratic Party is conservative.

But, to get a reasonable answer, you need to offer a definition of what "conservative" means.

So, what do you imagine that "conservative" means?


I'm pretty sure it means "Throw the poor who are too old or crippled to work into lime pits, kill the brown people, give all the money to the beneficent wealthy, bomb everybody in those dime store countries until they're free and privatize everything we can no longer afford to build or maintain, due to the rich paying no taxes, and then charge to use them." I could be wrong. Language has gotten a bit abstruse up in here, lately.
2012-09-02 04:09:47 PM
1 votes:
randomjsa: I'm a Republican because anyone who is paying attention can plainly see that Democrats maintain and continue to buy their way in to power by finding new and interesting ways to write government checks to as many people as possible and if the country goes broke in the process that's just fine because long term success or failure never mattered to a liberal anyway, only intentions.

As opposed to writing checks to bankers who, after using it to leverage actual wealth out of the hands of the working class, turn it into derivatives, the derivatives into confetti and then - after getting "free money" from we the people to replace it - promptly shove it up their asses? I think sammiches and bus passes are cheaper and more useful. Thanks.
2012-09-02 04:05:37 PM
1 votes:

randomjsa: I'm a Republican because anyone who is paying attention can plainly see that Democrats maintain and continue to buy their way in to power by finding new and interesting ways to write government checks to as many people as possible and if the country goes broke in the process that's just fine because long term success or failure never mattered to a liberal anyway, only intentions.


Like defense contractors?
2012-09-02 04:04:21 PM
1 votes:

relcec: I'm a herpin' and a-derpin'


Could you stop lying if you wanted to? I know, I know. No.
2012-09-02 03:36:37 PM
1 votes:

tony41454: As opposed to:
"I am a Democrat 'cuz Obamah gives me free stuff."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe in Utopia on Earth where Iranians kiss Jews and trees and snail darters are more important than people."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe we have the right to kill babies."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz de President is ah BLACK man."

Seems the stocks of Kool-Aid have gone up dramatically.


"I am a Democrat because I'm not in denial and know that everyone pays taxes and that tax money is used for things that are beneficial to all. You didn't pay for the road, I didn't pay for the road, we all paid for the road through taxes and it benefits all of us."
"I am a Democrat because a Democrat killed Osama Bin Laden and kills Al Qaeda #2's with drones"
"I am a Democrat because as much as I hate abortion, the government's place is not in a woman's uterus, and Democrats actually try to prevent unwanted pregnancies"
"I am a Democrat because the President cares about more than just the top 1%"
2012-09-02 03:35:13 PM
1 votes:
"Because Jebus, and racism"
2012-09-02 03:17:20 PM
1 votes:

DeltaPunch: Mrtraveler01: tony41454: As opposed to:
"I am a Democrat 'cuz Obamah gives me free stuff."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe in Utopia on Earth where Iranians kiss Jews and trees and snail darters are more important than people."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe we have the right to kill babies."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz de President is ah BLACK man."

Seems the stocks of Kool-Aid have gone up dramatically.

-10/10 

A fart would've been more enlightening than this post.

He was trolling?!? I thought he was mocking Republicans by lampooning their most obnoxious talking points.


If that was really the case, then I would have that much more faith in humanity again.
2012-09-02 03:16:12 PM
1 votes:

Mrtraveler01: tony41454: As opposed to:
"I am a Democrat 'cuz Obamah gives me free stuff."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe in Utopia on Earth where Iranians kiss Jews and trees and snail darters are more important than people."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe we have the right to kill babies."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz de President is ah BLACK man."

Seems the stocks of Kool-Aid have gone up dramatically.

-10/10 

A fart would've been more enlightening than this post.


He was trolling?!? I thought he was mocking Republicans by lampooning their most obnoxious talking points.
2012-09-02 03:14:20 PM
1 votes:
No one blindly follows their team quite like Republicans. You could do an entire psych study on these people.
2012-09-02 03:06:05 PM
1 votes:

bglove25: Rann Xerox: Dave Myers, 23, Maryland delegate

"My parents taught me individual responsibility. You have to rely on yourself to get you anywhere."


No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

As if that guy would know John Donne or how to read.


It's not meant for him because he is a lost cause. Perhaps the metaphysical meaning of the poem can serve as a lifeline for someone else who is on the verge of sharing his way of thinking.
2012-09-02 02:53:56 PM
1 votes:

bglove25: violetvolume: . I am Republican because I enjoy the advantage of being a white Christian, and I am a Republican because I want that to continue."

This is basically it. Thread over.


Like that's ever going away.
2012-09-02 02:35:28 PM
1 votes:
Dave Myers, 23, Maryland delegate

"My parents taught me individual responsibility. You have to rely on yourself to get you anywhere."


upload.wikimedia.org

No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

2012-09-02 02:20:28 PM
1 votes:

tony41454: As opposed to:
"I am a Democrat 'cuz Obamah gives me free stuff."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe in Utopia on Earth where Iranians kiss Jews and trees and snail darters are more important than people."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe we have the right to kill babies."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz de President is ah BLACK man."

Seems the stocks of Kool-Aid have gone up dramatically.


Welcome to the world of Republitard pink, or what Drew likes to call purple 3.
2012-09-02 02:18:42 PM
1 votes:

violetvolume: Most of those answers can be summed up thus:

"I'm a Republican because I've lived a privileged life, whether I realize it or not. I'm comfortable assuming that because I had the tools to be successful at my disposal, they must be just as accessible to everyone else, and people who aren't as successful as me just didn't try hard enough. I'm a Republican because I don't believe in the government controlling my life, but I believe in it controlling the lives of people who are not like me. I am Republican because I enjoy the advantage of being a white Christian, and I am a Republican because I want that to continue."


I'm so stealing that.
2012-09-02 02:05:31 PM
1 votes:

ultraholland: tony41454: "I am a Democrat 'cuz Obamah gives me free stuff."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe in Utopia on Earth where Iranians kiss Jews and trees and snail darters are more important than people."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe we have the right to kill babies."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz de President is ah BLACK man."

Welp, looks like you've got us all figured out.


speak for yourself, i hate black people but i can't fight the white guilt that has been ingrained into my very soul by years and years of liberal education.
2012-09-02 02:03:14 PM
1 votes:
tony41454: "I am a Democrat 'cuz Obamah gives me free stuff."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe in Utopia on Earth where Iranians kiss Jews and trees and snail darters are more important than people."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe we have the right to kill babies."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz de President is ah BLACK man."


Welp, looks like you've got us all figured out.
2012-09-02 01:59:24 PM
1 votes:
I can't think of a single good reason for self identifying as a Republican and/or voting GOP this election.

Not one.

/Meh, neither can Skipjack apparently.
2012-09-02 01:57:33 PM
1 votes:

tony41454: "I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe we have the right to kill babies."


Republicans do that too.

Granted they're babies in foreign nations but still the same premise...
2012-09-02 01:54:37 PM
1 votes:

tony41454: As opposed to:
"I am a Democrat 'cuz Obamah gives me free stuff."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe in Utopia on Earth where Iranians kiss Jews and trees and snail darters are more important than people."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe we have the right to kill babies."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz de President is ah BLACK man."

Seems the stocks of Kool-Aid have gone up dramatically.


-10/10 

A fart would've been more enlightening than this post.
2012-09-02 01:54:29 PM
1 votes:

tony41454: As opposed to:
"I am a Democrat 'cuz Obamah gives me free stuff."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe in Utopia on Earth where Iranians kiss Jews and trees and snail darters are more important than people."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe we have the right to kill babies."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz de President is ah BLACK man."

Seems the stocks of Kool-Aid have gone up dramatically.


i agree, and what's the deal with democrats always raising taxes on our strawmen!
2012-09-02 01:52:58 PM
1 votes:
As opposed to:
"I am a Democrat 'cuz Obamah gives me free stuff."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe in Utopia on Earth where Iranians kiss Jews and trees and snail darters are more important than people."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz I believe we have the right to kill babies."
"I am a Democrat 'cuz de President is ah BLACK man."

Seems the stocks of Kool-Aid have gone up dramatically.
2012-09-02 01:42:22 PM
1 votes:
I'm a Republican because... (check one)

A. I'm rich, want to get richer, and don't give a shiat about anyone else.
B. I'm not rich, but I'm an idiot who votes for people who will make life worse for me and my family.
2012-09-02 01:35:44 PM
1 votes:

thomps: My parents taught me individual responsibility. You have to rely on yourself to get you anywhere. And I became a Republican because I truly believe that we are giving people the tools to build a successful life and really be a part of the American dream.

what tools have recent republicans given people to build a successful life and be part of the american dream?


Well if you had watched the GOP primaries they gave us plenty of tools... for great comedy.
2012-09-02 01:33:36 PM
1 votes:
I have a few sane, intelligent friends who still vote Republican and I'm baffled by it. They aren't rich, socially conservative or racist.

The only explanation I can come up with is that the GOP has done a masterful job of creating an illusory Republican party to challenge an imaginary Obama. In the echo chamber of Fox News (and to a lesser extent the mainstream press - in the interest of "fairness"), the Republicans are the conservative party of small government and small business, of personal responsibility and fiscal sanity. Democrats, by contrast, are the party led by a scary Black man that wants to take away your freedom, and turn the US into Sweden and your sons into queens. It's a bit harder to maintain the Republican illusion in the face of genuine GOP politicians - hence the reason "Generic Republican" frequently polls better than the actual candidate.

No amount of factual evidence to the contrary - such as demonstrating that Democrats have been better stewards of the economy over the last 40 or proving that Obama's politics are aligned with Eisenhower rather than Stalin - will change these people's minds, and I've given up trying.
2012-09-02 01:29:20 PM
1 votes:
So has anyone in this thread yet actually provided actual reasons to be a modern Republican? I saw the one who said something like "I believe in conservative ideology" which is a total non-answer. Anyone going to defend the modern Republican Party?
2012-09-02 01:24:20 PM
1 votes:
I'd like to see everyone have what I had, and the benefits we've had.

If you want people to have access to the same public services and educational system you enjoyed then why in holy fark would you vote republican. They have stated time and time again they would like to strip away those services and reduce the role of the government to a level not seen since the Victorian era.

WHAT THE fark IS WRONG WITH 45% to 50% OF YOUR POPULATION AMERICA. HOW CAN YOU PUT A PROBE ON MARS AND STILL BE THIS DUMB.
2012-09-02 01:20:50 PM
1 votes:

Mrtraveler01: skipjack: I'm conservative because that's the political ideology I agree with.

No one asked why you were a conservative, they asked why you were a Republican. Big difference.

If you really are a conservative, then why the hell are you still a Republican.


I asked him the same question, but he appears to have run off.
2012-09-02 01:15:41 PM
1 votes:

Cheesus: Or he went to college and didn't learn any critical thinking. I can't imagine what he spent his time doing instead though, judging from his classy sombrero. He's the kind of guy that hears "tax cuts" and doesn't bother to think what else that effects, or even if they apply to him.


He went to college. He was just that annoying shiat on your floor who just read Atlas Shrugged for the first time and needed to tell you about his revelation every time you hung out with him. He also never chipped in for beer or weed money, but drank and smoked more than anyone else.
2012-09-02 01:13:32 PM
1 votes:
I don't care what anybody has to say when it starts with "Why I'm A...."

I don't care if it's Republican, or Democrat, or Christian, or atheist (please feel free to post your own definition of what this means! this should happen in every thread! at least 500 times!) or baseball fan or gay or straight or farking whatever.

But especially when it's "Why I'm a Republican," in this derptastic, up-is-down, cutting-taxes-lowers-debt, ignorance-is-strength, mission-accomplished, war-was-justified, job-creators-are-taxed-to-death, no-true-racists hall of mirrors world we live in.

I just don't care why anybody is anything, but I especially don't care why anybody is on board with the likes of Rmoney and Rayn and Dubya and Cheney and Rice and Rove and Lardbaugh and the whole steal-it-all-now crowd that farked everything up so completely last time.
2012-09-02 01:10:19 PM
1 votes:

Rishathra: Jesus, Jesus, Bootstraps, Bootstrap, Jesus, Bootstraps, Jesus, Jesus ......... and so on.

Bloody hell you yanks have some retarded politics. I mean my country also has retarded politics, but its not that bad. Not by a long shot and quite frankly you deserve better.


No farking way

/USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
2012-09-02 01:03:13 PM
1 votes:
I've been an entrepreneur for as long as I can remember; I ran three or four different businesses in grammar school. The ideas that are exposed by the Libertarian Party and the libertarian part of the Republican [Party] really reinforce that Republican spirit.


Translation:


"I'm full of shiat and I like the part of this party that really belongs to another party."
2012-09-02 12:57:09 PM
1 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: Why are you a Republican? Republicans aren't a conservative party. Over the last 30 years they've been anything but fiscally conservative. They've been anything but socially conservative as well. Why are you a Republican?


You mean like this?

blogs-images.forbes.com
2012-09-02 12:56:06 PM
1 votes:

theorellior: Weaver95: i'm gonna guess....a mix of 'battered wife' and 'Stockholm' syndrome.

Dunning-Kruger.


Hanlon's Razor
2012-09-02 12:55:55 PM
1 votes:
www.npr.org


"Because I farkin' LOVE Ronald Reagan...A B-list actor who began his campaign at a racially segregated southern university, whooped up public frenzy by lying about the Panama Canal treaty and was even called on it personally by arch Conservative tough guy John Wayne, who listened to the completely fabricated findings of a think tank called "Team B" who pulled things out of their ass about Russia because he was still living in 1950 when COMMIES were actually a minor but totally overblown threat, who created a racially stereotype called the "welfare queen" to draw bigoted whites with a persecution complex under the tent, who invaded Grenada without Congressional approval to rescue students who didn't need rescuing to puff up his crusade to get the public behind his military programs, who also tripled the military budget, took away interest deductions for student loans, funded terrorists while looking the other way as tons of cocaine poured into California, traded arms for hostages, and thought foreign policy was a movie script".
2012-09-02 12:54:32 PM
1 votes:

Fart_Machine: poot_rootbeer: I question NPR's sampling methods.

6 of the 15 are women, and 2 of 15 are black. Does that sound representative of the GOP as a whole?

NPR bends over backwards in order not to appear biased.


All a futile attempt because the retards in the GOP still think NPR is the US equivalent of Pravda.
2012-09-02 12:53:16 PM
1 votes:

skipjack: I'm conservative because that's the political ideology I agree with. I'm not a car salesman and if you want a more convincing "why", you're not getting it.


Taking your ball and going home?

4.bp.blogspot.com
2012-09-02 12:50:58 PM
1 votes:
I'm a Republican because my party's candidate isn't an uppity Negro who has the audacity to talk when White folks are present.

(I joke, but you'd be surprised how many people are voting for that reason, subconsciously or not.)
2012-09-02 12:49:43 PM
1 votes:
I'm not a Republican because I care about my daughters.
2012-09-02 12:48:45 PM
1 votes:
I question NPR's sampling methods.

6 of the 15 are women, and 2 of 15 are black. Does that sound representative of the GOP as a whole?
2012-09-02 12:45:52 PM
1 votes:

LouDobbsAwaaaay: [i46.tinypic.com image 639x439]

"I've been trained to hate myself."


Why isn't she just a Libertarian then.

Then she can be gay all she wants without having to feel awkward about being part of a movement that wants to treat gays like second-class citizens.
2012-09-02 12:43:10 PM
1 votes:
www.npr.org 

This has potential
2012-09-02 12:38:54 PM
1 votes:
Because you're rich or you're a farking idiot, or both, that's why.
2012-09-02 12:38:25 PM
1 votes:

maxwellton: Because giving more money to the rich and taking money away from the poor will make America strong again!


It worked last decade!

/oh wait
2012-09-02 12:37:14 PM
1 votes:
There's no excuse for it anymore. Republicans are cultists, of the worst sort. Completely dishonest, delusional, and full of malice.
2012-09-02 12:37:09 PM
1 votes:

skipjack: Yes yes....i'm a troll because I dare point out the obvious.


You're a troll because you called a thread a circle-jerk and didn't contribute anything to the thread.
2012-09-02 12:31:38 PM
1 votes:
The answer is 'because I have a weird face, got picked on during my school years, and never farking go over it.'
2012-09-02 12:31:20 PM
1 votes:

skipjack: A liberal circle jerk given to you by the mods...and you guys have barely got it over 50 posts.

/son..i am dissapoint


It got you to come out from under your bridge, so I guess it was effective in that regard!
2012-09-02 12:31:06 PM
1 votes:

skipjack: A liberal circle jerk given to you by the mods...and you guys have barely got it over 50 posts.

/son..i am dissapoint


We thank you for your contribution.
2012-09-02 12:29:45 PM
1 votes:
A liberal circle jerk given to you by the mods...and you guys have barely got it over 50 posts.

/son..i am dissapoint
2012-09-02 12:27:06 PM
1 votes:
Because f*ck you, that's why.
2012-09-02 12:25:03 PM
1 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: EnviroDude: cameroncrazy1984: EnviroDude: I will be able to take a pain pill when I need a pacemaker at an elderly age per Obama. So much for the right to live.

You're bringing up 3 year old, busted talking points? Oh my god, you are so screwed in November.

When the sitting president of the United States says it, it is more than a talking point. Keep trying. A for effort

Except he didn't say it. Try and keep up. Maybe look up the actual quote for once.


Just more bullshiat from "Pretend Obama Land". It would be funnier if it weren't so farkin' pathetic.
2012-09-02 12:19:19 PM
1 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: EnviroDude: I will be able to take a pain pill when I need a pacemaker at an elderly age per Obama. So much for the right to live.

You're bringing up 3 year old, busted talking points? Oh my god, you are so screwed in November.


Actually the ability of all the EnviroDudes out there to see the Kenyan witch doctor Obama hallucination is exactly what gives "their team" a chance to exploit them some more
2012-09-02 12:18:52 PM
1 votes:
I used to be a republican because I believe in small government and individual rights. Unfortunately the republican party no longer agrees with me.
2012-09-02 12:16:55 PM
1 votes:

Vindibudd: MacEnvy:
Because I'm an asshole.

This is what Democrats call tolerance.


No, it's the truth.

When the reason you're against health care reform is because more people will get insured which will mean longer waits for the doctor, then that's just being a selfish asshole.
2012-09-02 12:16:49 PM
1 votes:
why I'm not a Republican:

Stumping on abortion as a major platform issue.
Christianity in government

Gimme a call after you've backed away from those two things, no promises but I'll reconsider.
2012-09-02 11:59:02 AM
1 votes:

EnviroDude: I will be able to take a pain pill when I need a pacemaker at an elderly age per Obama. So much for the right to live.


Sounding less bootstrappy by the minute.
2012-09-02 10:31:19 AM
1 votes:

Riche: either wealthy sociopath or ignorant/delusional.


There's no reason they can't be both. So many are.
 
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