Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SeattlePI)   Seal accuses Heidi Klum on cheating on him. Things like this can scar a guy for life   (seattlepi.com) divider line 55
    More: Sad, Heidi Klum  
•       •       •

2468 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 02 Sep 2012 at 11:50 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



55 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-09-02 10:41:06 AM  
It surely can. It can give your soul pockmarked and textured feeling. acne
 
2012-09-02 11:46:20 AM  
I'm just gonna go ahead and get this ball rolling...

wind.activetools.si

i.cdn.turner.com

29.imagebam.com 

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
182
2012-09-02 11:52:35 AM  
HEY-O!
 
2012-09-02 11:54:09 AM  
And... My balls are rolling.
 
2012-09-02 12:00:30 PM  

Jamdug!: I'm just gonna go ahead and get this ball rolling...

[wind.activetools.si image 415x768]

[i.cdn.turner.com image 450x356]

[29.imagebam.com image 750x996] 

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 476x626]


I've been banninated for less than that
 
2012-09-02 12:05:40 PM  
Kinda blows when the rose hits the grooves on his face.
 
2012-09-02 12:09:13 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.google.com
 
2012-09-02 12:18:14 PM  
Heidi Klum's a whore. Always has been, always will be.
He married her as a favor.
They made a good couple, anyway.
She was a total fool to let him go.
But wandering pussy goes where wandering pussy wants.
Just like a wandering dick, a wandering pussy can never be tamed, only temporarily neutralized.
 
2012-09-02 12:27:37 PM  

ArkAngel: Jamdug!: I'm just gonna go ahead and get this ball rolling...

[wind.activetools.si image 415x768]

[i.cdn.turner.com image 450x356]

[29.imagebam.com image 750x996] 

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 476x626]

I've been banninated for less than that



Shut up fool, keep the B word to a minimum and the fellow might escape

/Also B'd for less several times, but I like these pictures
 
2012-09-02 12:29:11 PM  
Also for the record, she didn't cheat. We all know once youve been black, you never go back.
 
2012-09-02 12:29:43 PM  
To Subby only:

YOU ARE AWESOME.

Carry on. Nothing to see here folks.
 
2012-09-02 12:38:27 PM  
"Fornicating with the help", so that's what they are calling it these days.
 
2012-09-02 12:52:09 PM  
Ba-da-da ba da ba da ba da ba da-da-da
 
2012-09-02 12:54:59 PM  

D_Evans45: Also for the record, she didn't cheat. We all know once youve been black, you never go back.


www.myvisitingcard.com
 
2012-09-02 12:56:21 PM  
This is so freakishly wrong from the truth of their split,... Insider sources have repeatedly reported it was due to a fertility issue and nothing more. They'd been trying to conceive for years, and despite several miscarriages, Heidi was able to deliver several offspring in her coupling with the famous singer - however each time they'd go out in public, zealots would club the poor thing to death for its pelt.

/TMYK
 
2012-09-02 12:58:40 PM  

D_Evans45: Also for the record, she didn't cheat. We all know once youve been black, you never go back.


Seal is the only black man on earf? Who knew!
 
2012-09-02 12:58:45 PM  
During a blizzard in Alaska an eskimo trudges up to a garage pulling a broken-down snowmobile behind him.

The mechanic puts down his coffee, looks at the snowmobile, and finally looks up at the frost-encrusted eskimo and says, "Wow, buddy, it looks like you blew a seal."

The eskimo says, "Oh ... no, it's just a dead battery-happens all the time with this POS."
 
2012-09-02 01:10:21 PM  
I've got something Heidi can straddle; if we did it two or three times, it might even equal what she was getting from Seal too!

/wouldn't mind a bit
//call me!
 
2012-09-02 01:19:51 PM  
Seal reminds of the guy who got lucky and got a girl way beyond what was expected.
Problem is, once she goes and they generally do, the guy just can't handle it.
Always best to smile and wave good bye,though considering the money in this divorce probably easier said than done.
 
2012-09-02 01:22:33 PM  
Didn't she admit to marrying Seal for his big schlong? Yeah, sounds like the base for a real stable relationship.
 
2012-09-02 01:29:25 PM  

McManus_brothers: Didn't she admit to marrying Seal for his big schlong? Yeah, sounds like the base for a real stable relationship.


Just like your dad
/oh snap
 
2012-09-02 01:48:15 PM  
Well the upside for Seal he still has a great face for radio.

/waaat??
 
2012-09-02 01:53:46 PM  
Time for her to start a Crazy Baby Mama Legion of Doom with Halle Berry, Kelly Rutherford and Madonna?
 
2012-09-02 02:51:04 PM  

ParadisePornoTheater: Time for her to start a Crazy Baby Mama Legion of Doom with Halle Berry, Kelly Rutherford and Madonna?


Is there room for Kelis on that team?

The ex-Mrs. Tiger Woods can be an honorary member. Heather Mills can be honorary member for different reasons

/Bianca Jagger and Kris Kardashian can be co-presidents of the Auxiliary for Golddiggers Who Get Their Husbands' Names in the Divorce
 
2012-09-02 03:09:41 PM  
Isn't that crazy?
 
2012-09-02 03:15:04 PM  
Subby here. You're welcome!
 
2012-09-02 03:18:44 PM  

McManus_brothers: Didn't she admit to marrying Seal for his big schlong? Yeah, sounds like the base for a real stable relationship.


Ive known several girls who were into black guys for that reason...and they were also known to jump on any big one they could find, regardless of current relationship status. So Ill give the accusation a "plausible".
 
2012-09-02 03:37:01 PM  

shivashakti: Isn't that crazy?


They're never gonna survive.
 
2012-09-02 04:45:38 PM  
D_Evans45: Also for the record, she didn't cheat. We all know once you've been black, you never go back.

Didn't they update that saying? Link (NSFW language)
Once you go black you want your dignity back
Once you go black you're wonderin' where your welfare's at
Once you go black, your baby's on crack
Once you go black you want your test results back
 
 
2012-09-02 04:47:58 PM  
Nice headline.
 
2012-09-02 04:52:34 PM  
Guy is attracted to a woman because of her big breasts or ass - "Eh. He's a breast guy." Woman is attracted to a guy because of his huge schlong - "Sizeist biatch whore! Of course she wasn't going to stay faithful! Whore!". I think the size of your wieners is showing.
 
2012-09-02 04:56:21 PM  
Can you blame her? Every time she tried to make love she was forced to stand topless as he basked his nose on her tits and made a honking sound. When he climaxed, she was expected to throw a dead fish at him. Not to mention, the burns on her legs from his ruffled collar were impacting her modeling career.
 
2012-09-02 04:57:05 PM  
*basked = bashed
 
2012-09-02 04:59:03 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

"Your car's fixed, Heidi. It looks like you blew a seal."

"No, no... that's just ice cream."
 
2012-09-02 06:29:48 PM  
I've typically found the kind of man who flips for Heidi Klum usually doesn't have much experience with women. It's like she's a virginity barometer. Her entire life is based around sending up sexual smoke signals. Tweets of her in a bikini, her attention-whore Halloween get ups, an army of publicists continuously putting out press releases about every minor detail of her life, always trying to convince the public she's more than a C-list celebrity. She really just seems a shallow and awful person. She's pretty but not sexy, which equals pretty f*cking boring.
 
2012-09-02 06:34:22 PM  

gadian: Guy is attracted to a woman because of her big breasts or ass - "Eh. He's a breast guy." Woman is attracted to a guy because of his huge schlong - "Sizeist biatch whore! Of course she wasn't going to stay faithful! Whore!". I think the size of your wieners is showing.



The 2 posts in this thread pertaining to this encounter are quite reasoned, I see none of this lewd sizeist biatch whore sentiment you are whining about. It's not the size of our weiners, its the size of your gaping coont apparently.
 
2012-09-02 06:35:09 PM  
/I keed
 
2012-09-02 06:45:30 PM  

Sultan Of Herf: McManus_brothers: Didn't she admit to marrying Seal for his big schlong? Yeah, sounds like the base for a real stable relationship.

Ive known several girls who were into black guys for that reason...and they were also known to jump on any big one they could find, regardless of current relationship status. So Ill give the accusation a "plausible".


It was in a magazine article, IIRC. She said she saw him walking through a hotel lobby wearing a Speedo and had to have him (or it).
 
2012-09-02 06:59:39 PM  
Diddling the help is just bad form.
 
2012-09-02 07:13:07 PM  

gadian: Guy is attracted to a woman because of her big breasts or ass - "Eh. He's a breast guy." Woman is attracted to a guy because of his huge schlong - "Sizeist biatch whore! Of course she wasn't going to stay faithful! Whore!". I think the size of your wieners is showing.


Women be different from men, you see.
 
2012-09-02 07:55:03 PM  

REO-Weedwagon: I've typically found the kind of man who flips for Heidi Klum usually doesn't have much experience with women. It's like she's a virginity barometer. Her entire life is based around sending up sexual smoke signals. Tweets of her in a bikini, her attention-whore Halloween get ups, an army of publicists continuously putting out press releases about every minor detail of her life, always trying to convince the public she's more than a C-list celebrity. She really just seems a shallow and awful person. She's pretty but not sexy, which equals pretty f*cking boring.


A guy whose handle is "REO-Weedwagon" is calling other people immature?
 
2012-09-02 08:10:09 PM  

Kurmudgeon: "Fornicating with the help", so that's what they are calling it these days.



blogs-images.forbes.com

He calls it your average weekday.
 
2012-09-02 08:55:59 PM  

Neondistraction: Kurmudgeon: "Fornicating with the help", so that's what they are calling it these days.

[blogs-images.forbes.com image 300x501]

He calls it your average weekday.


sc94.ameslab.gov
What's the use of owning help if you can't fornicate with them?
 
2012-09-02 10:53:45 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: REO-Weedwagon: I've typically found the kind of man who flips for Heidi Klum usually doesn't have much experience with women. It's like she's a virginity barometer. Her entire life is based around sending up sexual smoke signals. Tweets of her in a bikini, her attention-whore Halloween get ups, an army of publicists continuously putting out press releases about every minor detail of her life, always trying to convince the public she's more than a C-list celebrity. She really just seems a shallow and awful person. She's pretty but not sexy, which equals pretty f*cking boring.

A guy whose handle is "REO-Weedwagon" is calling other people immature?



A guy whose handle is BLZ Bub is calling other people out on being immature?
 
2012-09-02 11:02:16 PM  

D_Evans45: B.L.Z. Bub: REO-Weedwagon: I've typically found the kind of man who flips for Heidi Klum usually doesn't have much experience with women. It's like she's a virginity barometer. Her entire life is based around sending up sexual smoke signals. Tweets of her in a bikini, her attention-whore Halloween get ups, an army of publicists continuously putting out press releases about every minor detail of her life, always trying to convince the public she's more than a C-list celebrity. She really just seems a shallow and awful person. She's pretty but not sexy, which equals pretty f*cking boring.

A guy whose handle is "REO-Weedwagon" is calling other people immature?


A guy whose handle is BLZ Bub is calling other people out on being immature?


No, no, no, I wasn't calling people immature, he was. Do keep up.
 
2012-09-02 11:24:25 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: ParadisePornoTheater: Time for her to start a Crazy Baby Mama Legion of Doom with Halle Berry, Kelly Rutherford and Madonna?

Is there room for Kelis on that team?

The ex-Mrs. Tiger Woods can be an honorary member. Heather Mills can be honorary member for different reasons

/Bianca Jagger and Kris Kardashian can be co-presidents of the Auxiliary for Golddiggers Who Get Their Husbands' Names in the Divorce


You made me jealous cuz I didn't think of those other names. Especially Kelis. I still thank you.

Ed Finnerty: Can you blame her? Every time she tried to make love she was forced to stand topless as he basked his nose on her tits and made a honking sound. When he climaxed, she was expected to throw a dead fish at him. Not to mention, the burns on her legs from his ruffled collar were impacting her modeling career.


I just came ... from laughing my tits off. : - D
 
2012-09-02 11:33:45 PM  
D_Evans45

gadian:
Guy is attracted to a woman because of her big breasts or ass - "Eh. He's a breast guy." Woman is attracted to a guy because of his huge schlong - "Sizeist biatch whore! Of course she wasn't going to stay faithful! Whore!". I think the size of your wieners is showing.


The 2 posts in this thread pertaining to this encounter are quite reasoned, I see none of this lewd sizeist biatch whore sentiment you are whining about. It's not the size of our weiners, its the size of your gaping coont apparently.


Even the largest jumbo jet looks small landing in the Grand Canyon.

/hot from tom arnold
 
2012-09-03 03:11:18 AM  
oi50.tinypic.com

Fixed that for you
 
2012-09-03 06:22:31 AM  

ParadisePornoTheater:
You made me jealous cuz I didn't think of those other names. Especially Kelis. I still thank you.


The way Kelis did Nasir made me lose all respect for her. Just horrible. She's supposed to be a strong, boho woman, and she goes and does a man like that. So I saw your list and thought that's definitely where she belonged.
 
2012-09-03 07:17:02 AM  

REO-Weedwagon: I've typically found the kind of man who flips for Heidi Klum usually doesn't have much experience with women. It's like she's a virginity barometer. Her entire life is based around sending up sexual smoke signals. Tweets of her in a bikini, her attention-whore Halloween get ups, an army of publicists continuously putting out press releases about every minor detail of her life, always trying to convince the public she's more than a C-list celebrity. She really just seems a shallow and awful person. She's pretty but not sexy, which equals pretty f*cking boring.



images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
Displayed 50 of 55 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report