If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Cleveland Plain Dealer)   It's got to be pretty embarrassing when you're a hot shot in the Army's elite Golden Knights parachute squad and you need to be rescued by the Coast Guard. "Hope he enjoyed the boat ride"   (cleveland.com) divider line 22
    More: Amusing, Golden Knights, United States Army Parachute Team, Cleveland National Air Show, C-130, petty officers, boat ride, boats  
•       •       •

7044 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Sep 2012 at 10:48 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-09-01 09:03:08 PM
4 votes:
I'm sorry, but how is it embarrassing to be rescued by the Coast Guard again?

Oh, forgot. They're not a real military branch, right?

The Coast Guard are badasses in the true sense of the word. Their primary mission is saving lives in some of the most inhospitable conditions on earth, from the Arctic ice, to the waters of Alaska, to the Gulf. The Rescue Swimmer program is one of the harshest military programs in the World, with drop out rates comparable to that of US Military tiered special forces training programs.

The Coast Guard also has a proud history of putting a boot in the ass of America's enemies at sea.

/Semper Paratus
2012-09-02 02:03:48 PM
1 votes:

adeist69: Ya know, the Golden Knights are starting to sound 'elite' in the same manner that every Snowflake is 'special'.


Both men survived that disaster and you don't think they're special? So it would seem that you think average skydivers would have survived too. Maybe a Google news search of "tangled parachutes" would be enlightening. Because they don't.
2012-09-02 01:49:45 PM
1 votes:
The embarrassment is that people are going to think it was embarrassing. In the century-old duel between flying man and atmosphere, atmosphere scored another point.

Wind shear happens. It's invisible, and on rare occasions can smack a half million pound airliner into the ground despite all engines being at full power. In my little light plane, wind shear tried to kill me once at Virginia's Shenandoah Valley Airport. On my approach, the 25 knot wind abruptly shifted 90 degrees, 200 feet above the ground. The little Piper Cherokee dropped like a brick for maybe 50 feet before she turned back into an airplane for me. Then the wind shifted again at treetop height. That one I could see coming since the wind I was flying in was clearly not the same one blowing the windsock. Because it was a windy day at an unfamiliar airport, I'd left lots of safety margin, and on that day I used it. My only experience with a strong, double wind shear.

They told me on the ground that wasn't all that unusual a summer problem in that valley. Well, one thing I can say for that location: I bet the newly-licensed pilots from that school aren't as intimidated by crosswinds as most beginners. :)

So what is it people are imagining that a man hanging from a 'chute can possibly do when a strong wind pushes him offshore faster than his best safe speed? Cut himself loose and fall before he got pushed too far off target? Build an engine and propeller out of the crap in his survival kit?
2012-09-02 04:04:26 AM
1 votes:

orbister: Other nations manage to have armed services without quite the same degree of slobbering hero worship. Yeah, I know, American exceptionalism.


O RLY?

List of Military Aircraft Demonstration Teams by Country

Oh, look. You're from the land of kilted men and sheeps stomach for breakfast.

Display teams of the RAF

You're welcome for your schooling.
2012-09-02 02:36:09 AM
1 votes:

cptjeff: Never mind the rest of that, but "accidentally"? Do we not, you know, have ways of letting each other know who's a friendly?


This was back around 1987, so the details are a bit hazy, but as best I can recall it was neither the fault of the pilots nor equipment failure. It was an exercise in which the AF were playing the role of "Orange Forces". We sent up our fighters with "real" AA missiles on them, which was part of the exercise.

In case you didn't know, a missile is a modular device, and it can carry a different payload depending on what you want to do with it. An AA missile can carry a warhead that goes "boom" and hopefully downs a target, or maybe it can carry a telemetry package that sends back data on its performance, which is useful for the designers and doesn't blow up and is relatively safe to sling around in exercises. A "warbird" is a dangerous thing, of course, so as an extra safety it comes with a pin (like on a grenade) attached to a big, friendly, red flag, that must be pulled before it will go off. Pulling that pin constitutes "arming" it. This exercise was supposed to be extra realistic, so we sent the fighters up with the former kind of missile (real dangerous warheads) and the pilots were supposed to "simulate firing" if they managed to get on top of Orange jets.

The problem was (as best I can recall) that the pilots thought that "simulating firing" meant that the ordinancemen wouldn't arm the missiles when they loaded them on the plane, and that they should do everything exactly as they would do it in wartime, including pressing the firing key; whereas the ordinancemen thought that "simulating firing" meant that the pilots would only pretend to press the firing key, and they should do everything exactly as they would do it in wartime, including arming the missiles. The result was... an F-16 pilot who nearly shat his pants after pressing the firing key and hearing the overture of a JAG investigation and an RF-4 going into early retirement.
2012-09-02 02:35:52 AM
1 votes:
I like how the other branches make fun of the Coast Guard even though the US Coast Guard has been the only ones actually defending the homeland for the past few decades rather than being sent off all over the world into unprofitable (to the nation as a whole) business ventures.
2012-09-02 02:03:34 AM
1 votes:
Will its not like the golden knights are delta operators volunteering their spare time, but i would still expect him to be able to cut loose and swim a couple hundred yards. My guess is the coasties were already there and saved him the trouble.
2012-09-02 01:38:36 AM
1 votes:

ShannonKW: csb:

When I was deployed on an aircraft carrier, one of our fighters accidentally shot down a USAF reconnaissance jet. The pilots of the struck plane ejected and came down in the Aegean Sea where they bobbed around until we sent out a helicopter to bring them in for medical treatment. The XO immediately went down to Sick Bay to see them because, being a pilot himself, he knew that the first thing on any pilot's mind in that situation is "Why did my plane blow up? Did I do something wrong? Is my career finished?" and he wanted to reassure them.

So he gets there and he see two huge dudes who must have been just under the maximum height limit, and who as it was later found out had both played college football. One had broken his shoulder or something and they rounded on him when he came in, and he blurted out, "I'm sorry guys, but we shot you down." They were so relieved that they hugged him (one-armed in one case, I guess). XO later admitted to being terrified.

/csb


Never mind the rest of that, but "accidentally"? Do we not, you know, have ways of letting each other know who's a friendly?
2012-09-02 01:19:03 AM
1 votes:

xl5150: *Yawn* yet another "branch x of the military is tougher than branch y" post. It's the same thing as sports fans clamoring that "we" did it when some team they had nothing to do with wins a championship.

Here's a novel idea: study hard in school and get into college so that you can get a real job and you'll have options other than joining the military when you're done with high school.


I love posts like this. Did you know it's actually harder to join the military, than to get into most colleges? I've yet to see a college that requires, in addition to a HS diploma, a clean juvie/adult criminal record, a second "SAT" type test (ASVAB), physical fitness test, then 8 weeks of grueling introductory training before you are allowed in. Tack into that, a 180 day "We can kick you out for any reason" probationary period. Yeah, the military is a tad harder than getting into your local public college.
2012-09-02 01:02:53 AM
1 votes:

gameshowhost: adeist69: farkityfarker: What's embarrassing is how militaristic our nation has become.

What's truly embarrassing is how some believe our country would be able to survive without the military, cause, you know, peace love & understanding .

That was the worst strawman ever, Towelie.


How 'bout this then: "militaristic" compared with the way it was... when? The present fondness military adventurism and righting the wrongs of the world has roots that go back to that gun-crazy, low-brow archconservative, Woodrow Wilson, or farther back.

Admittedly, enthusiasm for war seemed to lapse after the fruitless bloodbath of WW1 and the humiliating fruitless bloodbath of Vietnam, but that wasn't a decline in militarism. It was like a spoiled, but athletic, kid throwing down his bat and stomping off the field saying, "This game's STUPID!" after suffering a reverse (largely due to his own arrogance). He's still into sport; he just needs time to feel sorry for himself. In the case of American militarism, we just had to make a few films like Apocalypse Now and wallow in the grief of losing 60,000 whole Americans in the virtuous effort to spread democracy and kill 1.5 million Vietnamese (who weren't even grateful, goddammit!) But we just needed a solid win to shake off the blues, and we got that in '91. It's a bit short-sighted to call this an increase in militarism.
2012-09-02 12:56:29 AM
1 votes:

Silly Jesus: Recruiting. Some kid sees it, says "I wanna do that", and everyone else gets to avoid having a draft while the kid lives out his parachute dreams scrubbing a toilet in Afghanistan.


It's not just that - they'll also demonstrate to foreign dignitaries, who will, theoretically, be impressed with the skill of our military and negotiate somewhat more favorable deals. Besides that, they want to impress the civilian population so they'll be more likely to vote for and write to politicians to help preserve their budget.

Solid Muldoon: They join because their Dad did. Or because of the recruiters who show up at every high school in the country every year. Or because it beats working at McDonalds.


The idea is like any advertising - put the idea into somebody's head. A father in the military might have greater effect, but I'd say that over half of recruits today don't have immediate family that is/was military. Both me and my brother joined the USAF; dad only served 1 tour, he was out before my brother was born. I was like 3 when he got out. He never really brought up his service(he worked as an accountant while in, at one stateside base, never saw anything close to combat while he was in). I'd say that advertising of various types had a larger effect.
2012-09-02 12:15:13 AM
1 votes:

Silly Jesus: Solid Muldoon: Why the hell are we spending money on this crap anyway?

Golden Knights? Blue Angels?

Shouldn't you be out killing swarthy guys?

Recruiting. Some kid sees it, says "I wanna do that", and everyone else gets to avoid having a draft while the kid lives out his parachute dreams scrubbing a toilet in Afghanistan.


The motives of people who choose military service or parenthood often wouldn't stand up to scrutiny, but we benefit by it just the same.
2012-09-02 12:03:31 AM
1 votes:

Solid Muldoon: Why the hell are we spending money on this crap anyway?

Golden Knights? Blue Angels?

Shouldn't you be out killing swarthy guys?


Recruiting. Some kid sees it, says "I wanna do that", and everyone else gets to avoid having a draft while the kid lives out his parachute dreams scrubbing a toilet in Afghanistan.
2012-09-01 11:58:01 PM
1 votes:

farkityfarker: What's embarrassing is how militaristic our nation has become.


The Golden Knights have existed since 1959, and the Coast Guard since 1790.

What's REALLY embarassing are those people who think being proud of your nation's soldiers and their abilities to demonstrate what they know, while hoping never to have to use them, means you're one step away from nationalistic militarism and fascism.

But most people live longer than their first year of college, and grow out of that nonsense.

adeist69: What's truly embarrassing is how some believe our country would be able to survive without the military, cause, you know, peace love & understanding .


I KNOW RIGHT?! Don't people understand that humanity has evolved to the point where all you need is a strongly worded letter from a multinational body with no real teeth?
2012-09-01 11:50:19 PM
1 votes:

farkityfarker: What's embarrassing is how militaristic our nation has become.




What's truly embarrassing is how some believe our country would be able to survive without the military, cause, you know, peace love & understanding .
2012-09-01 11:08:53 PM
1 votes:

rebelyell2006: doglover: rebelyell2006: When considering that the overly homoerotic gaybasher in your college fraternity was in the Coast Guard Auxiliary, then it would be embarrassing. But embarrassing to know that you actually recognize the person in question.

I know all those words... but in that order they make no sense.

The Coast Guard had an auxiliary branch, like the army and navy ROTC, but if I recall correctly it didn't last too long or else it wasn't particularly widespread. One of my fraternity brothers was in that auxiliary branch. And he was a gaybasher, but he was also very homoerotic in appearance and behavior. It would be embarrassing to be rescued by such a person. Especially once you realize you actually recognize the person's name and history.


The CG Auxiliary is not an ROTC program, it is more akin to the Civil Air Patrol with the Air Force. It is a completely volunteer and civilian outfit. And it is still very much in effect today and as widespread as it ever has been.
2012-09-01 11:05:35 PM
1 votes:

doglover: rebelyell2006: When considering that the overly homoerotic gaybasher in your college fraternity was in the Coast Guard Auxiliary, then it would be embarrassing. But embarrassing to know that you actually recognize the person in question.

I know all those words... but in that order they make no sense.


The Coast Guard had an auxiliary branch, like the army and navy ROTC, but if I recall correctly it didn't last too long or else it wasn't particularly widespread. One of my fraternity brothers was in that auxiliary branch. And he was a gaybasher, but he was also very homoerotic in appearance and behavior. It would be embarrassing to be rescued by such a person. Especially once you realize you actually recognize the person's name and history.
2012-09-01 09:58:16 PM
1 votes:
CSB time:

I was at a regular season Niners game in 2001 or 2002 and the halftime entertainment was the Golden Knights. Not more than a few seconds after they jumped out of the plane, two guys got tangled up and ended up in a spin that lasted what felt like several minutes (probably no more than one). At some point, one of the two detached from his main chute and pulled his backup but the other, when he detached, just plummeted. I kept watching him drop, waiting for his backup to open. When he dropped below the rim of the stadium I thought he was toast. The weird thing was that most of the stadium seemed to be oblivious. When I ran out onto the concourse to see what happened there were only a handful of people at the railing, watching. It turns out that the guy opened his chute with about 300-500 feet left and then fell in the bay. Some how he managed to survive the impact and not drown (must have had a life jacket) and was alive when the coast guard got there. That's all I got from the news that night.
2012-09-01 09:34:06 PM
1 votes:

Red Shirt Blues: doglover: When you're a hot shot in an elite squad? Being rescued by Jesus riding a Tyrannosaurus and getting cover fire from Charlton Heston and John Wayne would be embarrassing.

Whoa, someone should paint that.

I'll chip in 5 bucks.


That should cover it, then
2012-09-01 09:20:59 PM
1 votes:

doglover: When you're a hot shot in an elite squad? Being rescued by Jesus riding a Tyrannosaurus and getting cover fire from Charlton Heston and John Wayne would be embarrassing.

Whoa, someone should paint that.


I'll chip in 5 bucks.
2012-09-01 09:17:37 PM
1 votes:

doglover: Ooooh, Pillls


Better living through pharmacology! Or rather, how I learned to love legalized amphetamines.
2012-09-01 09:14:27 PM
1 votes:
(I didn't actually realize until 5 minutes ago that Cleveland had a harbor.)

((I think they showed it on 30 Rock though.))
 
Displayed 22 of 22 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report