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(The Hollywood Reporter)   Hollywood's next great idea: " 'Beached' centers on a chubby 4-year-old child who falls overboard during a family outing, is raised by whales and goes on to become an Olympic swimmer"   (hollywoodreporter.com) divider line 41
    More: Stupid, Swimming at the Summer Olympics, Jon Turteltaub, Disney's National Treasure, olympics, Hollywood, Tower Heist, CBS Films, Steven Soderbergh  
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2133 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 01 Sep 2012 at 4:53 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-09-01 05:05:51 AM
Is this a prequel to Waterworld?
 
2012-09-01 05:22:05 AM
That's.... beautiful. I'm blubbering..............
 
2012-09-01 05:42:45 AM
After reading that headline, I'm beginning to feel a bit like Stan Marsh from "South Park". Everything from Hollywood is turning to poo....
 
2012-09-01 06:23:14 AM
fattie raised by whales
fattie raised by whales
whoo! watch him swim!

that fattie will be an inspiration to all of us.
 
2012-09-01 06:35:10 AM
Heh, funny headline...

*clicks link*

Oh ferchrissake!
 
2012-09-01 06:35:16 AM
I'll give Hollywood this much: at least it's not a remake.
 
2012-09-01 06:37:45 AM
They should make a movie about a whale that wins all the swimming competitions in the Olympics because, hey, there's nothing in the rule book that says a whale can't take part.
 
2012-09-01 07:01:16 AM

offmymeds: Heh, funny headline...

*clicks link*

Oh ferchrissake!


Thought the same thing...has to be a joke headline.
 
2012-09-01 07:05:34 AM
Heh, kid sticks his arse out of the water to breathe.
 
2012-09-01 07:16:39 AM
Let's see if she floats. 

media.tumblr.com
 
2012-09-01 07:22:49 AM
You all complain "Hollywood is out of ideas" so they finally come up with a movie that isn't a sequel, reboot, remake or comic book movie and look what you do!
 
2012-09-01 07:25:50 AM
Two things:

15 years? This has been in development for 15 years? Not once in that whole time did somebody say "This idea is garbage"?

and

That Jon Turteltaub looks a lot like my regional manager with his not-quite-a-beard. I hate that asshole.
 
2012-09-01 07:41:54 AM
The only way I could see this work is as an animated cartoon for kids. I can't think of the last time a truly good movie came out of Hollywood.
 
2012-09-01 07:56:50 AM
A feel-good movie for fatties. Great.
 
2012-09-01 07:56:53 AM

oukewldave: I can't think of the last time a truly good movie came out of Hollywood.


Moonlight Kingdom
 
2012-09-01 07:57:44 AM
Moonrise Kingdom.

Coffee. STAT!
 
2012-09-01 08:08:16 AM
What in the actual fark is this shiat?
 
2012-09-01 08:08:17 AM

Pandora's Litterbox: Moonrise Kingdom.

Coffee. STAT!


Looks pretty good

i280.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-01 08:32:25 AM

Hardy-r-r: Pandora's Litterbox: Moonrise Kingdom.

Coffee. STAT!

Looks pretty good

[i280.photobucket.com image 256x192]


Out of the 4 films I've taken in at theatres so far this year, it's the tops.

Of the few remaining upcoming films I have any desire to see I suspect only P.T. Anderson's 'The Master' will best it.

/Mayyybe 'The Hobbit' or 'Cloud Atlas' or Cronenberg's 'Cosmopolis'

'Brave' and 'The Dark Knight Rises' and 'Prometheus and were various shades of disappointing. (from kinda to very))

'The Cabin in the Woods' was much better than I had any right to hope it'd be.

/I still haven't seen 'The Avengers' (because I'm waiting for the super-extended Blu-Ray director's cut [with an hour of extra footage integrated back in]).
 
2012-09-01 08:36:17 AM
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-09-01 08:37:30 AM
D'oh! That good ole Catholic Math.

Out of the 5 films...

and

I can tell this is going to be a day when I wish I could just climb back into bed and sleep the day away.



/stupid being a grown-up with responsibilities.
 
2012-09-01 08:42:59 AM

SmackLT: I'll give Hollywood this much: at least it's not a remake.


THIS!
 
2012-09-01 08:55:41 AM
Not to worry, the japanese harvest it and sell it as tuna lardo.
/for research.
 
2012-09-01 09:37:17 AM
i1245.photobucket.com
Would like a word
 
2012-09-01 09:39:01 AM
Meh. Couldn't be any worse than Cop Rock.....
 
2012-09-01 09:43:17 AM
Someone make a Megaman X movie. That is more reliable than this bizarre idea.
 
2012-09-01 10:02:49 AM

Oafmeel: [i1245.photobucket.com image 285x285]
Would like a word


good work, I would have been very disappointed if this thread lacked dolphin boy.
 
2012-09-01 10:25:28 AM

buntz: You all complain "Hollywood is out of ideas" so they finally come up with a movie that isn't a sequel, reboot, remake or comic book movie and look what you do!


This. People always whine about how Hollywood never has any original ideas. Now where they do, there's complaining that their ideas are crap.
 
2012-09-01 10:34:46 AM
If this is a Disney movie, then a Japanese fishing boat will kill his whale mother, and Greenpeace will swoop in and save him just in time, then they will bring him back to become the famous swimmer he is, and he will beat a Japanese swimmer in some important event.

Hollywood.. Hire me!
 
2012-09-01 10:47:22 AM
Cabin Boy worked. This could work.
 
2012-09-01 11:45:56 AM
I think that would be absolutely genius. It's gonna be so bad that repeated viewings will only make it funnier and funnier.
 
2012-09-01 12:25:14 PM
If that child is a girl, sorry Hollywood but its been done.

Oh, wait, that was Sea Hunt, my mistake.


i280.photobucket.com
 
2012-09-01 01:28:51 PM
I call dips on the "realistic" remake of this where the grown child is brought to human civilization by a well-meaning benefactor whose life he saved at sea, but he can't adapt has has to return to the sea in the end. It'll be a fat, wet Greystoke.
 
2012-09-01 01:57:13 PM
This sounds familiar.

img411.imageshack.us

/Marzena Godecki had influence in my younger years.
 
2012-09-01 01:58:23 PM
"I dunno about you, but I'm gettin' tired of Hollywood thinking that we wanna see it's nephew's brainstorms!" -- Crazy Daisy Ed
 
2012-09-01 02:45:33 PM

rustypouch: buntz: You all complain "Hollywood is out of ideas" so they finally come up with a movie that isn't a sequel, reboot, remake or comic book movie and look what you do!

This. People always whine about how Hollywood never has any original ideas. Now where they do, there's complaining that their ideas are crap.


Oh stop your whining and complaining.
 
2012-09-01 03:09:41 PM

rustypouch: Now where they do, there's complaining that their ideas are crap.


Do you disagree?
 
2012-09-01 03:32:16 PM
sounds better than Shia Labeef as a gangster moonshiner
 
2012-09-01 03:57:23 PM
In a world where fatties are taunted, for one four-year-old boy, the answer lies somewhere else. Somewhere under the sea. His world turned upside down, Rick must struggle to survive. But with the help of his new whale family, he finds love and understanding and somewhere along the way he finds himself. But back on land, Rick has a new kettle of fish to worry about - the 2024 Lubbock Olympic Games. How will a boy from the waves find a way to survive, and win, in the hot Texas summer desert? And there's no krill at the Olympic Village!

Coming in 2013 - MOBY RICK: Land Blubber
 
2012-09-01 05:14:23 PM
DAFUQUE?
 
2012-09-01 06:24:19 PM
Dammit... this sounds like a fake movie from this skit
i48.tinypic.com
 
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