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(The Smoking Gun)   Meet one Robert Wheeler. Let it be known that if you forget his garlic knots when you deliver his pizza order, he might just get a little face punchy on you. With mugshot goodness   (thesmokinggun.com ) divider line
    More: Florida, Let It Be Known, garlic knots, mug shots  
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9072 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2012 at 7:59 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



71 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-08-31 06:30:25 PM  
Are garlic knots really that good? I've yet to try one.
 
2012-08-31 06:44:39 PM  
He stood his, and everyone else's ground.
 
2012-08-31 06:56:37 PM  
I like the reference to his "tattoo inventory". Wonder if he can have a reduction blowout?
 
2012-08-31 07:15:29 PM  

2wolves: He stood his, and everyone else's ground.


This. Dude's a Freedom Fighter.
 
2012-08-31 07:39:29 PM  
When questioned by deputies, Wheeler admitted punching Feigen, but claimed that "the issue was not over forgetting the missing garlic knots with the pizza," but rather that the pizza place owes him money.

What, did he used to work there?
 
NFA
2012-08-31 07:53:03 PM  
www.hdforums.com

WHAT A "GARLIC KNOT" MAY LOOK LIKE
 
2012-08-31 08:01:24 PM  
I'll bet that son of a biatch smells like a ripe turd.
 
2012-08-31 08:02:44 PM  

Evenbiggerknickers: Are garlic knots really that good? I've yet to try one.


Well, they are essentially pizza dough covered in minced garlic, salt, and olive oil; twisted into little knots of goodness. They are almost as good as frotteurism, almost.
 
2012-08-31 08:03:02 PM  

NFA: [www.hdforums.com image 372x279]

WHAT A "GARLIC KNOT" MAY LOOK LIKE


What. The. Hell???
 
2012-08-31 08:04:31 PM  
Bet the farking dumbass delivery driver doesn't do that again.
 
2012-08-31 08:04:43 PM  
On. the. ground.
 
2012-08-31 08:05:31 PM  
However, his mother later contacted deputies to say that she was taking her son to a hospital emergency room because he was complaining of "headacheand nausea."

Yeah, I know you think this is your winning lotto ticket, lady, but I don't think you'll be able to get much out of a guy who's worried about being owed money from a pizza place.
 
2012-08-31 08:05:37 PM  

Indubitably: On. the. ground.


Delivery drivers unite: try that on me, man.
 
2012-08-31 08:06:27 PM  

Indubitably: Indubitably: On. the. ground.

Delivery drivers unite: try that on me, man.


This is not an invitation.
 
2012-08-31 08:07:05 PM  
Evenbiggerknickers

Are garlic knots really that good? I've yet to try one.

Home made? ohhh yeah.

That cr*p your fast food pizza place sells? Not a chance.
 
2012-08-31 08:08:38 PM  
The unemployed Wheeler was booked into the county jail, and later released after posting $500 bond. Sheriff's records indicate that Wheeler's tattoo inventory includes ink of a bunny, a reptile, and a skeleton. He also has the word "Fat" on his left arm, and the word "Boy" on his right arm.

He should get a tattoo that says "Classy" just in case there's any doubt.
 
2012-08-31 08:11:23 PM  
ll-media.tmz.com 

So unimpressed.
 
2012-08-31 08:12:24 PM  
Back in the day in Fort Collins, I used to deliver pizzas for Pizza Hut, and one night I had to deliver a pie to this crummy apartment complex near the mall. I got there promptly and rang the buzzer for the proper apartment, and waited...and buzzed...and waited...and buzzed...and waited. Finally a youngish girl, probably a college student, comes down looking pissed.

"FINALLY," she said, exasperated.

"I think you guys might have a problem with your intercom system. That'll be $19.94, please," I replied with a smile.

"Here you go," she said, angrily showing a twenty at me before spinning around and storming off. I turned and began to head back to my beat-up Volvo with the windows that didn't roll down and a/c that didn't work and the pizza smell that always lingered on a sweltering summer night, bummed that I'd been dicked out of another tip.

"EXCUSE ME!" she called after me.

I turned around and headed back to her, smiling, hopeful that she'd remembered the tip.

"MY CHANGE?!?"

"My apologies," said I, as I handed her back her six measly cents.


Delivering pizzas sucks.


/csb
 
Ehh
2012-08-31 08:13:34 PM  
Nothing says VIP like messing with a pizza delivery person. Enjoy your fame, Bob.
 
2012-08-31 08:16:09 PM  
I was a Pizza delivery dude for my first job straight out of high school in 1987. 90% of the time, it was cool, even when I had to deliver until 2am. I never got robbed or punched, but I did learn that people can really really suck when you are "late" or their order is messed up. Too bad there wasn't blogs then, I would have had some great things to post.
 
2012-08-31 08:17:16 PM  

thermo: I was a Pizza delivery dude for my first job straight out of high school in 1987. 90% of the time, it was cool, even when I had to deliver until 2am. I never got robbed or punched, but I did learn that people can really really suck when you are "late" or their order is messed up. Too bad there wasn't blogs then, I would have had some great things to post.


Better left unsaid and mythed.

;)
 
2012-08-31 08:22:35 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

Looks like Bob Wheeler will be back in front of Judge Harry again
 
2012-08-31 08:23:31 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

I always wondered what happened to Bob Wheeler.
 
2012-08-31 08:24:33 PM  
We got it.
 
2012-08-31 08:24:41 PM  
Dammit!

/shakes tiny fist
 
2012-08-31 08:26:36 PM  
Story fails without identifying what company offers garlic knots worth criminal assault.
 
2012-08-31 08:26:45 PM  

Indubitably: We got it.


*cue angry, fat bear*
 
2012-08-31 08:29:34 PM  

bim1154: I'll bet that son of a biatch smells like a ripe turd.


A little crabby tonight? Tell us what's bothering you. ;)
 
2012-08-31 08:30:41 PM  

aurorous: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 320x240]

Looks like Bob Wheeler will be back in front of Judge Harry again


I forgot that Data was a semi-regular on Night Court
 
2012-08-31 08:30:43 PM  

thermo: I was a Pizza delivery dude for my first job straight out of high school in 1987. 90% of the time, it was cool, even when I had to deliver until 2am. I never got robbed or punched, but I did learn that people can really really suck when you are "late" or their order is messed up. Too bad there wasn't blogs then, I would have had some great things to post.


After around 9 p.m. my tips were usually bong hits or a blow job. I wasted four years of my life in college and now have none of those things....
 
2012-08-31 08:31:34 PM  

WhippingBoy: NFA: [www.hdforums.com image 372x279]

WHAT A "GARLIC KNOT" MAY LOOK LIKE

What. The. Hell???


Hehe, remember He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named but used to link pictures? That picture is two kittens snuggling a baby bunny in comparisan.
 
2012-08-31 08:33:21 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: However, his mother later contacted deputies to say that she was taking her son to a hospital emergency room because he was complaining of "headacheand nausea."

Yeah, I know you think this is your winning lotto ticket, lady, but I don't think you'll be able to get much out of a guy who's worried about being owed money from a pizza place.


Are you retarded, or just an asshole?
 
2012-08-31 08:33:48 PM  

2wolves: He stood his, and everyone else's ground.


Somebody beat me to the "stand your ground" joke. I'll have to go with my B-material:

Sandy Claus! Say it ain't so!

To be honest, it was self-defence. A guy that fat could starve to death waiting for another pizza delivery. Forget his side dishes and you're lucky he doesn't eat you to tide him over while he finds his dialing stick.

Where's a Nanny State when you really need one?
 
2012-08-31 08:34:51 PM  

Evenbiggerknickers: Are garlic knots really that good? I've yet to try one.


Really good ones can be to die for.
That must have been a place that make the ones that are to get punchy about.
 
2012-08-31 08:35:40 PM  

davidphogan: Are you retarded, or just an asshole?


This is FARK. We can have both.
Por que no los dos?
 
2012-08-31 08:40:56 PM  

sweet-daddy-2: bim1154: I'll bet that son of a biatch smells like a ripe turd.

A little crabby tonight? Tell us what's bothering you. ;)


images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-08-31 08:42:13 PM  

Mega Steve: aurorous: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 320x240]

Looks like Bob Wheeler will be back in front of Judge Harry again

I forgot that Data was a semi-regular on Night Court


And "I think I wet myself" funny, too!

Night court, funny show!

What's the matter, Dan? Pipe burst?

Damned near!
 
2012-08-31 08:45:28 PM  

Evenbiggerknickers: Are garlic knots really that good? I've yet to try one.


Oh, they are "punch the delivery guy in the face" good!

/Well, I don't know about this place... buuut....
 
2012-08-31 08:46:40 PM  
I was bored....

i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-31 08:51:18 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: sweet-daddy-2: bim1154: I'll bet that son of a biatch smells like a ripe turd.

A little crabby tonight? Tell us what's bothering you. ;)

[images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 720x540]


Yeah.

Do unto...

Ellipsis.

I do love, you?
 
2012-08-31 08:56:38 PM  

LesserEvil: I was bored....

[i.imgur.com image 348x500]
[i.imgur.com image 340x500]


MIND = BLOWN

His fat greasiness is almost perfectly symmetrical!
 
2012-08-31 08:57:58 PM  

Random Bastage: thermo: I was a Pizza delivery dude for my first job straight out of high school in 1987. 90% of the time, it was cool, even when I had to deliver until 2am. I never got robbed or punched, but I did learn that people can really really suck when you are "late" or their order is messed up. Too bad there wasn't blogs then, I would have had some great things to post.

After around 9 p.m. my tips were usually bong hits or a blow job. I wasted four years of my life in college and now have none of those things....


Sausage pizza?
 
2012-08-31 08:59:33 PM  

Tak the Hideous New Girl: Dammit!

/shakes tiny fist


But, yours is bigger. And that has to count for something.
 
2012-08-31 08:59:47 PM  

radarlove: LesserEvil: I was bored....

[i.imgur.com image 348x500]
[i.imgur.com image 340x500]

MIND = BLOWN

His fat greasiness is almost perfectly symmetrical!


"Cyber-identify-symmetry is creepy, anymore, Watson."
 
2012-08-31 09:02:39 PM  

brantgoose: 2wolves: He stood his, and everyone else's ground.

Somebody beat me to the "stand your ground" joke. I'll have to go with my B-material:

Sandy Claus! Say it ain't so!

To be honest, it was self-defence. A guy that fat could starve to death waiting for another pizza delivery. Forget his side dishes and you're lucky he doesn't eat you to tide him over while he finds his dialing stick.

Where's a Nanny State when you really need one?


Somebody? Silence noob.
 
2012-08-31 09:04:36 PM  

2wolves: brantgoose: 2wolves: He stood his, and everyone else's ground.

Somebody beat me to the "stand your ground" joke. I'll have to go with my B-material:

Sandy Claus! Say it ain't so!

To be honest, it was self-defence. A guy that fat could starve to death waiting for another pizza delivery. Forget his side dishes and you're lucky he doesn't eat you to tide him over while he finds his dialing stick.

Where's a Nanny State when you really need one?

Somebody? Silence noob.


Super-script isn't, no?
 
2012-08-31 09:05:25 PM  

Indubitably: 2wolves: brantgoose: 2wolves: He stood his, and everyone else's ground.

Somebody beat me to the "stand your ground" joke. I'll have to go with my B-material:

Sandy Claus! Say it ain't so!

To be honest, it was self-defence. A guy that fat could starve to death waiting for another pizza delivery. Forget his side dishes and you're lucky he doesn't eat you to tide him over while he finds his dialing stick.

Where's a Nanny State when you really need one?

Somebody? Silence noob.

Super-script isn't, no?


*nukes from orbit*
 
2012-08-31 09:09:47 PM  
watchlink.com
 
2012-08-31 09:10:25 PM  
If he moves north, he may have a better chance at a seasonal Santa job
 
2012-08-31 09:12:08 PM  

publikenemy: If he moves north, he may have a better chance at a seasonal Santa job


I hate to think what he'd do if you forgot to leave some cookies out for him, though.
 
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