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(ABC)   "Later, during intercourse, he had 'significant pain and observed a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror'"   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 59
    More: Scary, product liability, Harris County  
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27079 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2012 at 12:44 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-08-31 12:51:36 AM
4 votes:
This should go without saying, but you really do NOT want to GIS 'penile degloving.'
2012-08-30 11:53:28 PM
4 votes:
Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.

Ow.
2012-08-31 01:19:19 AM
3 votes:

unyon: Vagina Dentata?

DRTFA


i1125.photobucket.com
i1125.photobucket.com


/Pics may be unrelated.
//Or not.
///I'm sick, and I want to share.
2012-08-31 01:09:50 AM
3 votes:
On its website, the company says VirilisPro is "made with only natural ingredients to prevent harmful side effects."

Natural:
farm4.static.flickr.com

Natural:
www.toxinfo.org

Natural:
www.hotelclub.com

Natural:
www.webelements.com
www.thunderhealing.com

Natural:
www.hotelclub.com

Natural:
farm8.staticflickr.com
2012-08-31 12:56:32 AM
3 votes:

BronyMedic: This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.



If you click that link, go straight to a psychiatrist.


/didn't click the link 
//seriously...what is wrong with you, posting what you've described.
2012-08-31 12:02:20 AM
3 votes:
I passed out and I don't even have a penis.
2012-08-31 06:10:45 AM
2 votes:

GranoblasticMan: Uh, I think if that ever happened to me, I'd be so mentally scarred, I wouldn't have sex for a long time, which would certainly prevent me from having children for a while.


That's why we give you the good drugs.

images.chemistdirect.co.uk

www.multinet.no
2012-08-31 01:10:23 AM
2 votes:
"There, after "initial exploratory surgery," doctors allegedly "degloved," or removed the skin from the penis, and repaired his urethra, which had "separated completely."


i486.photobucket.com
Game over, Man! GAME OVER!
2012-08-31 01:04:10 AM
2 votes:
OK, am I the only one who's concerned that he bought this stuff at a freaking gas station? Who the hell trusts medication -- penis medication, at that -- from a Chevron?!
2012-08-31 12:58:51 AM
2 votes:
www.dailyhaha.com
2012-08-31 12:57:22 AM
2 votes:
I just want to throw some more hate on subby for submitting this, and the mods for greenlighting it, right before bedtime for most of us here in the US.
2012-08-31 12:56:14 AM
2 votes:

propasaurus: This should go without saying, but you really do NOT want to GIS 'penile degloving.'


THEN WHY DO YOU PUT THESE IDEAS IN OUR HEADS?!?!?

YOU'RE BASICALLY DOING THIS TO US!!!

25.media.tumblr.com
2012-08-31 12:50:56 AM
2 votes:
Well, there will be nightmares now.
2012-08-30 11:27:06 PM
2 votes:
He sees a case -- called "eggplant penis" -- at least once a month.

www.mikelawton.com
2012-08-30 11:23:48 PM
2 votes:

knbber2: WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*


Think of the skin as the glove and everything underneath as the hand.

/you're welcome
2012-08-31 08:37:40 PM
1 votes:
I WOULD LIKE TO SHOOT EVERY GODS DAMN ONE OF THOSE SH*T PEDDLING TRAITOROUS, BLASPHEMOUS BASTARDS on behalf of this one poor soul

the man could very easily have bled to death and his injuries are permanent

WHO IS WITH ME?
2012-08-31 08:18:29 PM
1 votes:
Oh lord, and here I've found a copy of the actual filing here (warning: PDF, also not exactly safe for lunch or SAN)

Basically to cover what we don't know--a lot of the filing is for purposes of discovery, and yes, it would seem that the Jesus Camper church in question is operating Virilis Pro as a front or at least has ownership interest in it. (Also, the address for Haute Health is actually a private residence which again points to Minor Hinkiness.) Also, he REALLY broke the hell out of his willy (the part that's particularly NSFL or SAN), more so than the average willy-breakings described here on the thread (hence the worries if he'll need a machine to pee, much less ever have an erection again).
2012-08-31 08:05:01 PM
1 votes:

terryjft: I'm a bit surprised no one has picked up on one of the parties named in the lawsuit is:
Solid Rock Worship Company
WTF?


Yeah, that's a surprise that they got ACTUALLY CALLED OUT. :D

For those unaware--it's been a bit of an open secret for a while that some of the creepier Jesus Camper groups (and also Mormons, interestingly) like to promote vitamin-hawking MLMs, sometimes even running front companies for this purpose; usually, though, it's something like AmWay or Herbalife or Melaleuca or the like.

The church itself is really, really creepy Jesus Camper stuff including "cell churches" and talk of taking over the "Seven Mountains" and stuff (even using a new branding of Joel's Army/NAR stuff called "Gideon's Army" per some stuff in the Wayback Machine at their website--the most recent version really does make pains to hide the stuff most mainline Christians would consider Extra Heresy).

Either this business is operating as a front of the Culty McCultersons or the stuff must have been actively promoted in cell-churches (which are--interestingly--set up almost exactly like "downlines" in MLMs, hence one reason MLM promotion tends to be popular in them).

The really unusual thing is it seems to be possibly a bit from column A and a bit from column B. Whois admin info for virilispro.com:

Carney, Tyra tyracarn­ey[nospam-﹫-backwards]t­s­acmoc­*n­et
Carney Carney Financial Services llc
614 Atlanta Ct
Williamstown, New Jersey 08094
United States
8566731723 Fax -- 8566730302

Admin and registrant info for solidrockwc,org:

Registrant Name:Michael Heilig
Registrant Organization:Solid Rock Worship Center
Registrant Street1:99 Burnt Mills Road
Registrant Street2:
Registrant Street3:
Registrant City:Cherry Hill
Registrant State/Province:NJ
Registrant Postal Code:08003
Registrant Country:US
Registrant Phone:+1.8563540005
Registrant Phone Ext.:
Registrant FAX:
Registrant FAX Ext.:
Registrant Email:cbarne­s[nospam-﹫-backwards]yme­d­a­c­a­sige­r­eh­t­*com

Whois admin info for theregisacademy.com (a domain linked to Solid Rock):

Administrative Contact, Technical Contact:
Heilig, Michael cbarne­s[nospam-﹫-backwards]yme­d­a­c­a­sige­r­eh­t­*com
Solid Rock Worship Center
99 Burnt Mills Road
Cherry Hill, NJ 08003
US
856-354-0005

Seeing as the guy suing is in Texas, in a place Solid Rock likely doesn't have a "missionary" branch...yeah, this is probably a rather coercive church getting into a fine tradition of coercive groups everywhere--the business front :P
2012-08-31 07:36:31 PM
1 votes:

Summer Glau's Love Slave: unyon: Vagina Dentata?

DRTFA

[i1125.photobucket.com image 598x1023]


Came for the multiple vagina dentata comments, left...vaguely disturbed and with stories of how the Hero Twins broke the teeth of man-eating vaginas with stone dildos in my head. (Yes, these are surprisingly common)

[i1125.photobucket.com image 322x513]

/Pics may be unrelated.
//Or not.
///I'm sick, and I want to share.


Eh, the latter is just a geoduck, friends up in the Northwest assure me they're good eating, I just can't help but think of them as Gene Simmons clams :D

And until today I was rather blissfully unaware that it was possible to break a man's willy. I wish now I was still ignorant of this fact O_o

That said...after reading the article, one of the real shockers is that the "Herbal Viagra" linked to this is apparently made by some front company of a mess of full-on NARasite Jesus Campers...so now we have two reasons for the people behind this to go down in flames :D

/ten bucks to anyone says that the chemical analysis of the "Herbal Viagra" will find an actual Viagra or Cialis analogue
//so friggin' common especially with boner-pills of Chinese manufacture that you can set your co, erm, clock to it
2012-08-31 01:12:44 PM
1 votes:
2012-08-31 11:39:36 AM
1 votes:

MayContainHorseGluten: OK, am I the only one who's concerned that he bought this stuff at a freaking gas station? Who the hell trusts medication -- penis medication, at that -- from a Chevron?!


I know, that was my first thought, too.

This happened (sans the degloving part) to a friend's husband at their camp in a small town, where he was known to everybody. She felt warm gooey stuff hit her face during sex and thought "WTF, he never shoots that far." Turned the lights on to a horror movie scene. Blood everywhere, pouring out his penis. Ran outside naked, screaming for help. Half the town shows up, thinking she did something to him. At the hospital, the doctor said he had lost nearly a quart of blood.

When she was telling me the story the next monday, I said "Way to go, raising the bar on the bad weekend from hell." We laughed so hard, I leaked a few drops (of pee, not blood!).
2012-08-31 09:23:01 AM
1 votes:
I'm a bit surprised no one has picked up on one of the parties named in the lawsuit is:
Solid Rock Worship Company
WTF?
2012-08-31 06:24:20 AM
1 votes:

BronyMedic: GranoblasticMan: Uh, I think if that ever happened to me, I'd be so mentally scarred, I wouldn't have sex for a long time, which would certainly prevent me from having children for a while.

That's why we give you the good drugs.


Special K and Michael Jackson juice ftw! Conscious sedation is a funny thing.
2012-08-31 05:54:34 AM
1 votes:

JohnnyApocalypse: So anyone else mention the total bullshiat to the story? Urologists stating that the bloody spray accident was totally unlikely, that a degloving as an ER event, also totally unlikely.

And I'd like to add, the supplement being the likely cause, also unlikely. How many of these "all natural" penis enhancement pills work? I mean really? I think it's funny though, since in order to mount a credible defense, the defendants will have to admit that their pills have only a placebo effect at best.


A degloving IS done as part of a surgical treatment. It is gonna be a urologist IN the ER, but not by your standard ER doctors. I'm assuming it'd be done when he's under anesthesia so the exact gore of the procedure isn't relevant, he went in with an "eggplant penis" in imminent danger of never working again and woke up with some stitches, swelling going down,color returning to normal, and a good prognosis. Who cares what had to be done in between?

Like any medical treatment, the point is to "make it better", it doesn't keep him from having children, WTF was that even saying.
2012-08-31 05:34:31 AM
1 votes:
I wish this thread would just go away and bury it's head in the bloody sand.

*shiver*
2012-08-31 02:20:06 AM
1 votes:

socially inept was taken: and i didn't think this could get anymore disturbing....huh.
/you're quite the fountain of information aren't you?


You learn things when you work around people who are notorious for being complete, kinky freaks in their private lives - Nurses and other Healthcare workers.

/That, and a lot of abnormal psych coursework on human sexuality.
//Different strokes for different folks. It's all ok as long as it's consensual and not causing undue distress to someone else.
2012-08-31 02:02:21 AM
1 votes:
2012-08-31 01:57:09 AM
1 votes:
www.oddpic.com
Artists depiction of the accident.
2012-08-31 01:55:32 AM
1 votes:

911Jenny: Which leads me to...can you even pee and um, finish, at the same time?


Some men can, but it's not a true orgasm. Certain parts of the male anatomy, when stimulated, can cause bladder spasms which can make you pee. When you have a true orgasm, that little sphincter at the base of your bladder slams shut. Certain things, like sounding or catheter play, can cause you to pee with an orgasm, because they're physically stinting the bladder open.

Women, on the other hand, can most definitely pee and have an orgasm. It's one of the reasons women can "squirt"

/how did we get on THIS?!
2012-08-31 01:44:04 AM
1 votes:
Unfortunate ad before the video playback. Here is the screen capture. It was Clinton endorsing the Big O.

farm9.staticflickr.com/">
2012-08-31 01:38:17 AM
1 votes:
Is there a gif of it?
2012-08-31 01:31:49 AM
1 votes:

Gawdzila: [mypicturedesk.com image 200x300]

/Oh god that sounds like a horror movie


That picture makes me giggle like a schoolgirl every damn time!!! I can't help it.

This whole thread has me crying from pain and from laughing.

ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

/Degloving? OMGWTFBBQ no no no no no
2012-08-31 01:21:54 AM
1 votes:

BronyMedic: knbber2: WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*

Prepare for nightmare fuel.

A degloving injury is a type of avulsion in which an extensive section of skin is completely torn off the underlying tissue, severing its blood supply. It is named by analogy to the process of removing a glove. Degloved skin is effectively dead.

This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.


That's not what he's describing in TFA.

It's a terrifying yet completely reasonable, safe surgical technique where they cut the skin in a ring behind the glans and slide it down towards the abdomen. The blood supply and nerves are basically safe because they're not separated from the base and it exposes the entire length of internal junk for repair with a minimum of cutting, stitching, scarring. It is the procedure used for any "broken penis" injury AFAIK.

TFA: Emergency room doctors had to "deglove" Carter's penis in order to repair it, rendering him unable to have sex or future children, Carter claimed.
Well, not from THIS procedure.
2012-08-31 01:20:15 AM
1 votes:
twotoolscooking.files.wordpress.com
2012-08-31 01:18:45 AM
1 votes:

BronyMedic: knbber2: WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*

Prepare for nightmare fuel.

A degloving injury is a type of avulsion in which an extensive section of skin is completely torn off the underlying tissue, severing its blood supply. It is named by analogy to the process of removing a glove. Degloved skin is effectively dead.

This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.


www.trilobite.org

(I really hated eating lunch in the staff room at the nursing school I worked at when I was younger.)
2012-08-31 01:15:38 AM
1 votes:
farm4.staticflickr.com
2012-08-31 01:12:06 AM
1 votes:

Brytanica1: There are several of you that I hate right now. A fiery, burning hatred, as if my testicles had been dipped in kerosene and set on fire.


Here, have a degloved Banana.

www.foodchannel.com
2012-08-31 01:10:19 AM
1 votes:
www.iconsoffright.com
2012-08-31 01:07:21 AM
1 votes:
FTA: "I never heard of anyone being put at a higher risk for fracture because of a prescription or an herbal drug," said Carney. "With a fracture, you typically get swelling and the penis looks like an eggplant....."

i78.photobucket.com
2012-08-31 01:03:05 AM
1 votes:

BizarreMan: If you're a 29 year old male who feels the need to take penile enhancement supplements, you have issues before it breaks.


THIS!
2012-08-31 01:02:17 AM
1 votes:
blackwhiteandredposters.files.wordpress.com
2012-08-31 01:01:58 AM
1 votes:
If you're a 29 year old male who feels the need to take penile enhancement supplements, you have issues before it breaks.
2012-08-31 12:56:38 AM
1 votes:
BronyMedic:


This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.


That was one link I am not going to click.

You've already proven you're more of a man than I am, BronyMedic. Now you've bested most of the male Farkers.

We should send you money and beg you to stop.
2012-08-31 12:55:57 AM
1 votes:

Arkanaut: bdub77: Strongbeerrules: Was the mirror on the ceiling?

There was pink champagne on ice.

(Although it wasn't pink until he started squirting blood everywhere.)

Last thing I remember, I was
Bleeding profusely from my penis

Wait, that's not how that goes.


WELCOME TO THE HOTEL PENILE DEGLOVING
2012-08-31 12:54:08 AM
1 votes:
Well, someone rolled a natural 1.
2012-08-31 12:53:55 AM
1 votes:
First the dying mites exploding poop all over your face, then suppurating sweatglands, now this.

Please stop with the yucky stuff! I'm turning into a 7 year old girl over here.
2012-08-31 12:51:11 AM
1 votes:

Strongbeerrules: Was the mirror on the ceiling?


There was pink champagne on ice.

(Although it wasn't pink until he started squirting blood everywhere.)
2012-08-31 12:49:45 AM
1 votes:
penis de-gloving? Closed urethra? Retrograde ejaculation?!?!? SO MANY MEDICAL TERMS I DIDN'T KNOW I HATED
2012-08-31 12:49:45 AM
1 votes:

Elzar: May this please happen to subby for visiting this horror of a story upon us.



No kidding. You don't submit a story like this to Fark. You stop reading at "caused his penis to fracture in a horrifying incident" and thank your stars the details of this won't be haunting you in your sleep.
2012-08-31 12:49:33 AM
1 votes:
Was the mirror on the ceiling?
2012-08-31 12:48:36 AM
1 votes:
I probably shouldn't have visited this thread before bed.
2012-08-31 12:40:48 AM
1 votes:
Ahh the autumn penile bloodletting season is almost upon us.
2012-08-30 11:56:34 PM
1 votes:
"You never know if you are getting the real story," he said. "People are embarrassed. The real point of this story is that this is a medical emergency and you really need to come and be seen so it can be handled surgically and fixed."

No, doctor, it isn't. The real point of this story is that if this happens and I do come in to be seen, you're going to skin my penis.
2012-08-30 11:54:44 PM
1 votes:

2xhelix: degloving
[dēglov′ing]
Etymology: L, de + AS, glof
1 an injury to an extremity-finger, hand, arm, leg, or foot-in which the soft tissue down to the bone, including neurovascular bundles and sometimes tendons, is peeled off.


Kill me now.
2012-08-30 11:37:13 PM
1 votes:
He's doing it wrong. 

/DNRTFA, natch...ewww.
2012-08-30 11:32:51 PM
1 votes:
She forgot to take out the dentata...
2012-08-30 11:26:57 PM
1 votes:
"With a fracture, you typically get swelling and the penis looks like an eggplant -- purple and swollen. But blood coming out on the walls, that sounds really dramatic."

No shiat.
2012-08-30 11:26:15 PM
1 votes:
May this please happen to subby for visiting this horror of a story upon us.
2012-08-30 11:20:58 PM
1 votes:
WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*
 
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