If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(ABC)   "Later, during intercourse, he had 'significant pain and observed a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror'"   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 283
    More: Scary, product liability, Harris County  
•       •       •

27081 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2012 at 12:44 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



283 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-08-31 10:18:00 AM
Great. Now I want a hot dog.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2012-08-31 11:10:47 AM
Welcome to this episode of "Deadliest Snatch: Vagina Dentata"

/holding pillow over willy
 
2012-08-31 11:39:14 AM
Well I fainted dead away

Mods need a severe worded letter from the UN
 
2012-08-31 11:39:36 AM

MayContainHorseGluten: OK, am I the only one who's concerned that he bought this stuff at a freaking gas station? Who the hell trusts medication -- penis medication, at that -- from a Chevron?!


I know, that was my first thought, too.

This happened (sans the degloving part) to a friend's husband at their camp in a small town, where he was known to everybody. She felt warm gooey stuff hit her face during sex and thought "WTF, he never shoots that far." Turned the lights on to a horror movie scene. Blood everywhere, pouring out his penis. Ran outside naked, screaming for help. Half the town shows up, thinking she did something to him. At the hospital, the doctor said he had lost nearly a quart of blood.

When she was telling me the story the next monday, I said "Way to go, raising the bar on the bad weekend from hell." We laughed so hard, I leaked a few drops (of pee, not blood!).
 
2012-08-31 11:47:53 AM
A "supplement" purchased at a Chevron station isn't safe or effective? Get the fark outta here.
 
mhd
2012-08-31 11:52:27 AM
Since when does OTC "herbal" stuff work in any way?
 
2012-08-31 11:52:43 AM
Also, maybe you shouldn't mimic the shiat you see in pornos by shoving your peen into holes as roughly as possible. I'm guessing that's what happened here.

Whatever the "supplement" is, I doubt it was metabolized by his system soon enough to have any effect whatsoever on his "performance." Regardless of what the instructions on the packaging may have implied.
 
2012-08-31 12:01:55 PM
Well, that article was a horrifying read.
 
2012-08-31 12:11:47 PM
Well something good has come out of this. I am no longer hungry. Thanks Fark.
 
2012-08-31 12:15:52 PM
encrypted-tbn1.google.com
 
2012-08-31 12:17:22 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

And now they can do both...
 
2012-08-31 12:44:04 PM
I read this and now never want to take my pants off again. =/


/went on my first date in far too long the other night
//hope she's okay with chastity
 
2012-08-31 01:12:44 PM
 
2012-08-31 01:16:12 PM

propasaurus: This should go without saying, but you really do NOT want to GIS 'penile degloving.'



Hey, you're not the boss of me!

\okay, so maybe you were right this one time
 
2012-08-31 02:23:24 PM
encrypted-tbn3.google.com

... and yet I read every comment. I must be a masocist.
 
2012-08-31 02:31:05 PM
gallery.danhulton.com
 
2012-08-31 02:32:51 PM
I sent this link to a friend who replied, "Dang, I always thought truckstop viagra was safe".
The name of my new band is gonna be Truckstop Viagra
 
2012-08-31 05:03:50 PM
"So remind me, penis-degloving for your race, fatal or non fatal?" 

gergo.erdi.hu
 
2012-08-31 05:05:45 PM
a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis
a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis
A LARGE QUANTITY OF BLOOD SQUIRTING OUT OF HIS PENIS
 
2012-08-31 05:07:29 PM
i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-08-31 05:50:45 PM

ArmyWarVet: Why the hell were their two quotes in my posting when I only clicked on one to reply to? Sorry for the confusion Gordon Bennett.


No problem at all. Fark has become a slightly stranger place since the last redesign. I personally enjoyed seeing what horrified statement I'd made in the thread with the image fresh in my mind.
 
2012-08-31 06:06:11 PM

Gordon Bennett: Fark has become a slightly stranger place since the last redesign.


You're posting in a thread about penile degloving, and the redesign is strange?
 
2012-08-31 06:28:09 PM
Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis.
 
2012-08-31 07:13:34 PM
where he had sex with his "paramour," according to the lawsuit.
Is that what they call a street hooker in Texas now.
 
2012-08-31 07:36:31 PM

Summer Glau's Love Slave: unyon: Vagina Dentata?

DRTFA

[i1125.photobucket.com image 598x1023]


Came for the multiple vagina dentata comments, left...vaguely disturbed and with stories of how the Hero Twins broke the teeth of man-eating vaginas with stone dildos in my head. (Yes, these are surprisingly common)

[i1125.photobucket.com image 322x513]

/Pics may be unrelated.
//Or not.
///I'm sick, and I want to share.


Eh, the latter is just a geoduck, friends up in the Northwest assure me they're good eating, I just can't help but think of them as Gene Simmons clams :D

And until today I was rather blissfully unaware that it was possible to break a man's willy. I wish now I was still ignorant of this fact O_o

That said...after reading the article, one of the real shockers is that the "Herbal Viagra" linked to this is apparently made by some front company of a mess of full-on NARasite Jesus Campers...so now we have two reasons for the people behind this to go down in flames :D

/ten bucks to anyone says that the chemical analysis of the "Herbal Viagra" will find an actual Viagra or Cialis analogue
//so friggin' common especially with boner-pills of Chinese manufacture that you can set your co, erm, clock to it
 
2012-08-31 08:05:01 PM

terryjft: I'm a bit surprised no one has picked up on one of the parties named in the lawsuit is:
Solid Rock Worship Company
WTF?


Yeah, that's a surprise that they got ACTUALLY CALLED OUT. :D

For those unaware--it's been a bit of an open secret for a while that some of the creepier Jesus Camper groups (and also Mormons, interestingly) like to promote vitamin-hawking MLMs, sometimes even running front companies for this purpose; usually, though, it's something like AmWay or Herbalife or Melaleuca or the like.

The church itself is really, really creepy Jesus Camper stuff including "cell churches" and talk of taking over the "Seven Mountains" and stuff (even using a new branding of Joel's Army/NAR stuff called "Gideon's Army" per some stuff in the Wayback Machine at their website--the most recent version really does make pains to hide the stuff most mainline Christians would consider Extra Heresy).

Either this business is operating as a front of the Culty McCultersons or the stuff must have been actively promoted in cell-churches (which are--interestingly--set up almost exactly like "downlines" in MLMs, hence one reason MLM promotion tends to be popular in them).

The really unusual thing is it seems to be possibly a bit from column A and a bit from column B. Whois admin info for virilispro.com:

Carney, Tyra tyraca­rney[nospam-﹫-backwards]ts­a­cmoc­*net
Carney Carney Financial Services llc
614 Atlanta Ct
Williamstown, New Jersey 08094
United States
8566731723 Fax -- 8566730302

Admin and registrant info for solidrockwc,org:

Registrant Name:Michael Heilig
Registrant Organization:Solid Rock Worship Center
Registrant Street1:99 Burnt Mills Road
Registrant Street2:
Registrant Street3:
Registrant City:Cherry Hill
Registrant State/Province:NJ
Registrant Postal Code:08003
Registrant Country:US
Registrant Phone:+1.8563540005
Registrant Phone Ext.:
Registrant FAX:
Registrant FAX Ext.:
Registrant Email:cbarne­s[nospam-﹫-backwards]ymedacasiger­eht­*co­m

Whois admin info for theregisacademy.com (a domain linked to Solid Rock):

Administrative Contact, Technical Contact:
Heilig, Michael cbarne­s[nospam-﹫-backwards]ymedacasiger­eht­*co­m
Solid Rock Worship Center
99 Burnt Mills Road
Cherry Hill, NJ 08003
US
856-354-0005

Seeing as the guy suing is in Texas, in a place Solid Rock likely doesn't have a "missionary" branch...yeah, this is probably a rather coercive church getting into a fine tradition of coercive groups everywhere--the business front :P
 
2012-08-31 08:18:29 PM
Oh lord, and here I've found a copy of the actual filing here (warning: PDF, also not exactly safe for lunch or SAN)

Basically to cover what we don't know--a lot of the filing is for purposes of discovery, and yes, it would seem that the Jesus Camper church in question is operating Virilis Pro as a front or at least has ownership interest in it. (Also, the address for Haute Health is actually a private residence which again points to Minor Hinkiness.) Also, he REALLY broke the hell out of his willy (the part that's particularly NSFL or SAN), more so than the average willy-breakings described here on the thread (hence the worries if he'll need a machine to pee, much less ever have an erection again).
 
2012-08-31 08:26:50 PM
I almost cried while reading the article, I had to stop.
Never having sex again?
That's awful.
 
2012-08-31 08:37:40 PM
I WOULD LIKE TO SHOOT EVERY GODS DAMN ONE OF THOSE SH*T PEDDLING TRAITOROUS, BLASPHEMOUS BASTARDS on behalf of this one poor soul

the man could very easily have bled to death and his injuries are permanent

WHO IS WITH ME?
 
2012-08-31 08:41:04 PM

Kittypie070: I WOULD LIKE TO SHOOT EVERY GODS DAMN ONE OF THOSE SH*T PEDDLING TRAITOROUS, BLASPHEMOUS BASTARDS on behalf of this one poor soul

the man could very easily have bled to death and his injuries are permanent

WHO IS WITH ME?


Sorry, I'm busy at the moment.
 
2012-08-31 09:19:55 PM
Emergency room doctors had to "deglove" Carter's penis in order to repair it, rendering him unable to have sex or future children, Carter claimed.

So, he can't have children with large bulbous heads, pasty white skin, straw-like blonde hair, glowing neon eyes, and the ability to transmit telepathic commands into adults' heads?

Frankly, I would be happy go through a penis degloving to avoid being the parent of mutant spawn hell-bent on wiping out all remnants of their "less evolved" human ancestors.
 
2012-08-31 10:00:34 PM
I hope I never again in my life hear or read the word "deglove".
 
2012-09-01 11:12:13 AM
...totally understands........


ktismatics.files.wordpress.com

(too obscure?)
 
Displayed 33 of 283 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report