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(ABC)   "Later, during intercourse, he had 'significant pain and observed a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror'"   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 283
    More: Scary, product liability, Harris County  
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27093 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2012 at 12:44 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



283 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-08-30 11:20:58 PM  
WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*
 
2012-08-30 11:23:48 PM  

knbber2: WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*


Think of the skin as the glove and everything underneath as the hand.

/you're welcome
 
2012-08-30 11:24:51 PM  
degloving
[dēglov′ing]
Etymology: L, de + AS, glof
1 an injury to an extremity-finger, hand, arm, leg, or foot-in which the soft tissue down to the bone, including neurovascular bundles and sometimes tendons, is peeled off.
 
2012-08-30 11:26:15 PM  
May this please happen to subby for visiting this horror of a story upon us.
 
2012-08-30 11:26:57 PM  
"With a fracture, you typically get swelling and the penis looks like an eggplant -- purple and swollen. But blood coming out on the walls, that sounds really dramatic."

No shiat.
 
2012-08-30 11:27:06 PM  
He sees a case -- called "eggplant penis" -- at least once a month.

www.mikelawton.com
 
2012-08-30 11:32:51 PM  
She forgot to take out the dentata...
 
2012-08-30 11:37:13 PM  
He's doing it wrong. 

/DNRTFA, natch...ewww.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2012-08-30 11:51:54 PM  
How does he see that during intercourse? Was he balls deep into a sandwich bag? Jellyfish? Plastc soda bottle? The chubby country singer in the iced tea commercial?
 
2012-08-30 11:53:28 PM  
Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.

Ow.
 
2012-08-30 11:54:44 PM  

2xhelix: degloving
[dēglov′ing]
Etymology: L, de + AS, glof
1 an injury to an extremity-finger, hand, arm, leg, or foot-in which the soft tissue down to the bone, including neurovascular bundles and sometimes tendons, is peeled off.


Kill me now.
 
2012-08-30 11:56:34 PM  
"You never know if you are getting the real story," he said. "People are embarrassed. The real point of this story is that this is a medical emergency and you really need to come and be seen so it can be handled surgically and fixed."

No, doctor, it isn't. The real point of this story is that if this happens and I do come in to be seen, you're going to skin my penis.
 
2012-08-31 12:02:20 AM  
I passed out and I don't even have a penis.
 
2012-08-31 12:04:28 AM  

jbc: How does he see that during intercourse? Was he balls deep into a sandwich bag? Jellyfish? Plastc soda bottle? The chubby country singer in the iced tea commercial?


You realize 'intercourse' isn't just the"in" stroke, right?
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2012-08-31 12:20:07 AM  

propasaurus: jbc: How does he see that during intercourse? Was he balls deep into a sandwich bag? Jellyfish? Plastc soda bottle? The chubby country singer in the iced tea commercial?

You realize 'intercourse' isn't just the"in" stroke, right?


You realize you don't pull all the way out to inspect it with a mirror on the "out" stroke? At that point, intercourse was decidedly his past, not his present.
 
2012-08-31 12:33:26 AM  
Vagina Dentata?

DRTFA
 
2012-08-31 12:40:00 AM  

jbc: propasaurus: jbc: How does he see that during intercourse? Was he balls deep into a sandwich bag? Jellyfish? Plastc soda bottle? The chubby country singer in the iced tea commercial?

You realize 'intercourse' isn't just the"in" stroke, right?

You realize you don't pull all the way out to inspect it with a mirror on the "out" stroke? At that point, intercourse was decidedly his past, not his present.


Maybe you don't. I keep an eye on it at all times.
 
2012-08-31 12:40:48 AM  
Ahh the autumn penile bloodletting season is almost upon us.
 
2012-08-31 12:48:33 AM  
Stick it in her pooper.
 
2012-08-31 12:48:36 AM  
I probably shouldn't have visited this thread before bed.
 
2012-08-31 12:49:33 AM  
Was the mirror on the ceiling?
 
2012-08-31 12:49:39 AM  

jbc: You realize you don't pull all the way out to inspect it with a mirror on the "out" stroke? At that point, intercourse was decidedly his past, not his present.


That's a great way to sprain it.

...

Ohhhhhhh, I see.
 
2012-08-31 12:49:45 AM  

Elzar: May this please happen to subby for visiting this horror of a story upon us.



No kidding. You don't submit a story like this to Fark. You stop reading at "caused his penis to fracture in a horrifying incident" and thank your stars the details of this won't be haunting you in your sleep.
 
2012-08-31 12:49:45 AM  
penis de-gloving? Closed urethra? Retrograde ejaculation?!?!? SO MANY MEDICAL TERMS I DIDN'T KNOW I HATED
 
2012-08-31 12:50:03 AM  
mypicturedesk.com

/Oh god that sounds like a horror movie
 
2012-08-31 12:50:56 AM  
Well, there will be nightmares now.
 
2012-08-31 12:51:11 AM  

Strongbeerrules: Was the mirror on the ceiling?


There was pink champagne on ice.

(Although it wasn't pink until he started squirting blood everywhere.)
 
2012-08-31 12:51:36 AM  
This should go without saying, but you really do NOT want to GIS 'penile degloving.'
 
2012-08-31 12:51:59 AM  
Did the doctor screw up severely? I thought people were still capable of erections and sex after having a penile fracture repaired and fully healed.
 
2012-08-31 12:52:03 AM  
there's a Peter North joke in there somewhere
 
2012-08-31 12:52:13 AM  
Well, it's official - I've read something more wince-inducing than Guts.

*shudder*
 
2012-08-31 12:52:39 AM  
Well, he wanted to get freaky, and now he is.
 
2012-08-31 12:52:54 AM  

The My Little Pony Killer: knbber2: WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*

Think of the skin as the glove and everything underneath as the hand.

/you're welcome


So, like a super-circumcision?

/uncut
 
2012-08-31 12:53:18 AM  

knbber2: WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*


Prepare for nightmare fuel.

A degloving injury is a type of avulsion in which an extensive section of skin is completely torn off the underlying tissue, severing its blood supply. It is named by analogy to the process of removing a glove. Degloved skin is effectively dead.

This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.
 
2012-08-31 12:53:55 AM  
First the dying mites exploding poop all over your face, then suppurating sweatglands, now this.

Please stop with the yucky stuff! I'm turning into a 7 year old girl over here.
 
2012-08-31 12:54:08 AM  
Well, someone rolled a natural 1.
 
2012-08-31 12:54:46 AM  

bdub77: Strongbeerrules: Was the mirror on the ceiling?

There was pink champagne on ice.

(Although it wasn't pink until he started squirting blood everywhere.)


Last thing I remember, I was
Bleeding profusely from my penis

Wait, that's not how that goes.
 
2012-08-31 12:54:52 AM  
OH MY GOD
 
2012-08-31 12:55:57 AM  

Arkanaut: bdub77: Strongbeerrules: Was the mirror on the ceiling?

There was pink champagne on ice.

(Although it wasn't pink until he started squirting blood everywhere.)

Last thing I remember, I was
Bleeding profusely from my penis

Wait, that's not how that goes.


WELCOME TO THE HOTEL PENILE DEGLOVING
 
2012-08-31 12:56:14 AM  

propasaurus: This should go without saying, but you really do NOT want to GIS 'penile degloving.'


THEN WHY DO YOU PUT THESE IDEAS IN OUR HEADS?!?!?

YOU'RE BASICALLY DOING THIS TO US!!!

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-08-31 12:56:32 AM  

BronyMedic: This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.



If you click that link, go straight to a psychiatrist.


/didn't click the link 
//seriously...what is wrong with you, posting what you've described.
 
2012-08-31 12:56:38 AM  
BronyMedic:


This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.


That was one link I am not going to click.

You've already proven you're more of a man than I am, BronyMedic. Now you've bested most of the male Farkers.

We should send you money and beg you to stop.
 
2012-08-31 12:57:22 AM  
I just want to throw some more hate on subby for submitting this, and the mods for greenlighting it, right before bedtime for most of us here in the US.
 
2012-08-31 12:58:51 AM  
www.dailyhaha.com
 
2012-08-31 01:00:21 AM  
go ahead and think about the noise a hungry fat man makes when he sucks up a coconut cream pie through a straw.

think about that

degloving

yes yes
 
2012-08-31 01:01:13 AM  
Broke my penis once, it was painful and not wanted again. Glad is wasn't blood squirtingly bad.

/Out youself subby
 
2012-08-31 01:01:26 AM  

Abox: If you click that link, go straight to a psychiatrist.


/didn't click the link 
//seriously...what is wrong with you, posting what you've described.


I WARNED YOU! I WARNED YOU THAT IT WAS GRAPHIC. HORRIBLE. BAD. BARBERA STREISAND CONCERT BAD.

The human body is a disgusting thing!

The One True TheDavid: BronyMedic:


This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.

That was one link I am not going to click.

You've already proven you're more of a man than I am, BronyMedic. Now you've bested most of the male Farkers.

We should send you money and beg you to stop.


I was debating on posting that or not. There were much more bloody images to choose from, and a simple Google search can easily take you to them. The human body is a disgusting thing when injured.
 
2012-08-31 01:01:58 AM  
If you're a 29 year old male who feels the need to take penile enhancement supplements, you have issues before it breaks.
 
2012-08-31 01:02:05 AM  
img78.imageshack.us

you're bending it
 
2012-08-31 01:02:17 AM  
blackwhiteandredposters.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-08-31 01:03:05 AM  

BizarreMan: If you're a 29 year old male who feels the need to take penile enhancement supplements, you have issues before it breaks.


THIS!
 
2012-08-31 01:04:04 AM  
Emergency room doctors had to "deglove" Carter's penis in order to repair it, rendering him unable to have sex or future children

No glove, no love.

It all makes sense now.
 
2012-08-31 01:04:10 AM  
OK, am I the only one who's concerned that he bought this stuff at a freaking gas station? Who the hell trusts medication -- penis medication, at that -- from a Chevron?!
 
2012-08-31 01:04:21 AM  
I can't fap to this.

Or can I? Hmm...
 
2012-08-31 01:04:51 AM  
That's why I insist on masterbating alone.

:(
 
2012-08-31 01:05:15 AM  
well, given what de-gloving means in terms of rat's tail...ugh gonna pass out bbiab.
 
2012-08-31 01:06:19 AM  

BronyMedic: This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.


slurmed.com
 
2012-08-31 01:06:41 AM  

ToxicMunkee: I passed out and I don't even have a penis.



At this point I would like to make some sort of comment about being able to lend you one several times in rapid succession but my eyes are still watering from the article and my body is involuntarily curled up in defence.
 
2012-08-31 01:07:21 AM  
FTA: "I never heard of anyone being put at a higher risk for fracture because of a prescription or an herbal drug," said Carney. "With a fracture, you typically get swelling and the penis looks like an eggplant....."

i78.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-31 01:09:36 AM  
The take away lesson here is that you have to treat your penis like its ...like its .....well, like its .....like its your damn one and only penis
/don't turn your Mr. Happy into skeletor by de-gloving it.
 
2012-08-31 01:09:50 AM  
On its website, the company says VirilisPro is "made with only natural ingredients to prevent harmful side effects."

Natural:
farm4.static.flickr.com

Natural:
www.toxinfo.org

Natural:
www.hotelclub.com

Natural:
www.webelements.com
www.thunderhealing.com

Natural:
www.hotelclub.com

Natural:
farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2012-08-31 01:10:19 AM  
www.iconsoffright.com
 
2012-08-31 01:10:23 AM  
"There, after "initial exploratory surgery," doctors allegedly "degloved," or removed the skin from the penis, and repaired his urethra, which had "separated completely."


i486.photobucket.com
Game over, Man! GAME OVER!
 
2012-08-31 01:10:51 AM  
There are several of you that I hate right now. A fiery, burning hatred, as if my testicles had been dipped in kerosene and set on fire.
 
2012-08-31 01:12:06 AM  

Brytanica1: There are several of you that I hate right now. A fiery, burning hatred, as if my testicles had been dipped in kerosene and set on fire.


Here, have a degloved Banana.

www.foodchannel.com
 
2012-08-31 01:12:39 AM  

Brytanica1: There are several of you that I hate right now. A fiery, burning hatred, as if my testicles had been dipped in kerosene and set on fire.


You should get that checked out. It could be eggplant scrotum.

/ They're going to have to peel your junk like an overripe banana.
 
2012-08-31 01:12:41 AM  

MayContainHorseGluten: OK, am I the only one who's concerned that he bought this stuff at a freaking gas station? Who the hell trusts medication -- penis medication, at that -- from a Chevron?!


Well, he did get professional medical advice from the store clerk at the Chevron mini mart, so obviously he was right to assume he was in good hands.
 
2012-08-31 01:12:50 AM  
Okay, that's officially the most horrifying sentence I have ever read in a legitimate news story.
 
2012-08-31 01:12:50 AM  
i78.photobucket.com

♫ And if it break when it bend
You better not put it in ♪
 
2012-08-31 01:13:30 AM  

BronyMedic: Here, have a degloved Banana.


*shakes fist*
 
2012-08-31 01:13:43 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: propasaurus: This should go without saying, but you really do NOT want to GIS 'penile degloving.'

THEN WHY DO YOU PUT THESE IDEAS IN OUR HEADS?!?!?

YOU'RE BASICALLY DOING THIS TO US!!!

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]


Yes, but this way I can say "I TOLD you not to look!"
 
2012-08-31 01:15:21 AM  
You're all missing the decided victory here, one of us finally bled on one of them for a change!

He had a headache!!
 
2012-08-31 01:15:38 AM  
farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2012-08-31 01:17:41 AM  

ProdigalSigh: You're all missing the decided victory here, one of us finally bled on one of them for a change!

He had a headache!!


I would willingly only have sex with menstruating women from now on if it meant I could still have sex and not having my penis degloved!
 
2012-08-31 01:18:08 AM  
Good job, subby. This needs to be headline of the year, so that we can spread the love a little wider.
 
2012-08-31 01:18:45 AM  

BronyMedic: knbber2: WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*

Prepare for nightmare fuel.

A degloving injury is a type of avulsion in which an extensive section of skin is completely torn off the underlying tissue, severing its blood supply. It is named by analogy to the process of removing a glove. Degloved skin is effectively dead.

This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.


www.trilobite.org

(I really hated eating lunch in the staff room at the nursing school I worked at when I was younger.)
 
2012-08-31 01:19:19 AM  

unyon: Vagina Dentata?

DRTFA


i1125.photobucket.com
i1125.photobucket.com


/Pics may be unrelated.
//Or not.
///I'm sick, and I want to share.
 
2012-08-31 01:20:15 AM  
twotoolscooking.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-08-31 01:20:58 AM  
well he never said he was with a female OR a male. Could have been with a pineapple OR he could have been doing one of those penis hole insertions i see are popular on the internet, or so I have heard.
some one want to Google that for me>
 
2012-08-31 01:21:54 AM  

BronyMedic: knbber2: WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*

Prepare for nightmare fuel.

A degloving injury is a type of avulsion in which an extensive section of skin is completely torn off the underlying tissue, severing its blood supply. It is named by analogy to the process of removing a glove. Degloved skin is effectively dead.

This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.


That's not what he's describing in TFA.

It's a terrifying yet completely reasonable, safe surgical technique where they cut the skin in a ring behind the glans and slide it down towards the abdomen. The blood supply and nerves are basically safe because they're not separated from the base and it exposes the entire length of internal junk for repair with a minimum of cutting, stitching, scarring. It is the procedure used for any "broken penis" injury AFAIK.

TFA: Emergency room doctors had to "deglove" Carter's penis in order to repair it, rendering him unable to have sex or future children, Carter claimed.
Well, not from THIS procedure.
 
2012-08-31 01:22:00 AM  
I can't make my face go back to normal. I now have a permanent look of stunned disgust mixed with horror.
 
2012-08-31 01:22:54 AM  
That was one difficult article to read, particularly curled up in a fetal position, quivering in fear, with tears of horror streaming from my eyes.
 
2012-08-31 01:23:10 AM  

The My Little Pony Killer: knbber2: WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*

Think of the skin as the glove and everything underneath as the hand.

/you're welcome


Aaaahhh! Aaahhhh! AAAAAAHHHHH!

I am SO glad I'm not a man! OMFG!!!
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2012-08-31 01:23:50 AM  
mt-stage.thegrio.com
RIP
 
2012-08-31 01:24:07 AM  

MayContainHorseGluten: OK, am I the only one who's concerned that he bought this stuff at a freaking gas station? Who the hell trusts medication -- penis medication, at that -- from a Chevron?!


i71.photobucket.com

The egg salad sandwiches from their toilet's vending machine weren't bad at all. Just don't ask what kind of eggs it was.
 
2012-08-31 01:24:26 AM  

Oznog: That's not what he's describing in TFA.

It's a terrifying yet completely reasonable, safe surgical technique where they cut the skin in a ring behind the glans and slide it down towards the abdomen. The blood supply and nerves are basically safe because they're not separated from the base and it exposes the entire length of internal junk for repair with a minimum of cutting, stitching, scarring. It is the procedure used for any "broken penis" injury AFAIK.


And this, right here, is why I'll never be a urologist.

DEAR GOD, WHY. WHY DID YOU CURSE US LIKE THIS?!
 
2012-08-31 01:25:32 AM  
www.thepauperedchef.com
Who wants snacks?

/You do!
 
2012-08-31 01:27:35 AM  
What kind of coincidence is it that the doctor whose quote was the most dismissive about the claims, has the same last name as the two owners listed in the lawsuit (and the name of the company)?

/I wouldn't take any pill made by Carneys...
 
2012-08-31 01:28:53 AM  
Thank God there's an article here to get my mind off the fact that there are SPIDERS LIVING INY FACE.
 
2012-08-31 01:30:40 AM  

Oznog: BronyMedic: knbber2: WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*

Prepare for nightmare fuel.

A degloving injury is a type of avulsion in which an extensive section of skin is completely torn off the underlying tissue, severing its blood supply. It is named by analogy to the process of removing a glove. Degloved skin is effectively dead.

This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.

That's not what he's describing in TFA.

It's a terrifying yet completely reasonable, safe surgical technique where they cut the skin in a ring behind the glans and slide it down towards the abdomen. The blood supply and nerves are basically safe because they're not separated from the base and it exposes the entire length of internal junk for repair with a minimum of cutting, stitching, scarring. It is the procedure used for any "broken penis" injury AFAIK.

TFA: Emergency room doctors had to "deglove" Carter's penis in order to repair it, rendering him unable to have sex or future children, Carter claimed.
Well, not from THIS procedure.


So they skinned his shaft in a way not unlike skinning a carcass during the slaughter process...

Who wants leg o lamb?
 
2012-08-31 01:30:54 AM  
My whole vaginer rigging has curled up into my body.

Why? WHY????
 
2012-08-31 01:31:11 AM  

LowbrowDeluxe: penis de-gloving? Closed urethra? Retrograde ejaculation?!?!? SO MANY MEDICAL TERMS I DIDN'T KNOW I HATED


What in the ever loving jeebus is Retrograde Ejaculation?

/The Mr. asked if it came with fuzzy dice-balls.
 
2012-08-31 01:31:17 AM  

BronyMedic: knbber2: WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*

Prepare for nightmare fuel.

A degloving injury is a type of avulsion in which an extensive section of skin is completely torn off the underlying tissue, severing its blood supply. It is named by analogy to the process of removing a glove. Degloved skin is effectively dead.

This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.


Hell, I had that happen when subby's mom gave me a blowjob. Too much teeth, but she did swallow - skin and all.
 
2012-08-31 01:31:49 AM  

Gawdzila: [mypicturedesk.com image 200x300]

/Oh god that sounds like a horror movie


That picture makes me giggle like a schoolgirl every damn time!!! I can't help it.

This whole thread has me crying from pain and from laughing.

ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

/Degloving? OMGWTFBBQ no no no no no
 
2012-08-31 01:32:36 AM  

BronyMedic: Brytanica1: There are several of you that I hate right now. A fiery, burning hatred, as if my testicles had been dipped in kerosene and set on fire.

Here, have a degloved Banana.


You are a bad person, and you should feel bad.
 
2012-08-31 01:32:47 AM  

propasaurus: This should go without saying, but you really do NOT want to GIS 'penile degloving.'


You bastard.
 
2012-08-31 01:33:12 AM  

MayContainHorseGluten: OK, am I the only one who's concerned that he bought this stuff at a freaking gas station? Who the hell trusts medication -- penis medication, at that -- from a Chevron?!


The same people who buy perscirption drugs from Wal-Mart. We're all prisonors of our own device.
 
2012-08-31 01:33:32 AM  

jpschwan: What kind of coincidence is it that the doctor whose quote was the most dismissive about the claims, has the same last name as the two owners listed in the lawsuit (and the name of the company)?

/I wouldn't take any pill made by Carneys...


media.avclub.com

But can it core a apple deglove a penis?
 
2012-08-31 01:34:17 AM  

Brytanica1: You are a bad person, and you should feel bad.


I'm a wierd mixture of snickering constantly, and wincing at the pain in my loins.

On your previous comment, however:

stickerheads.com
 
2012-08-31 01:34:33 AM  

Hagbardr: Thank God there's an article here to get my mind off the fact that there are SPIDERS LIVING INY FACE.


Actually those spiders live in pores in your skin including pores in the skin of mr winky. (your face is more common).

\what happens when you touch your face then fap or piss or piss while fapping?
 
2012-08-31 01:34:51 AM  

puckhead: there's a Peter North joke in there somewhere


I was just cruising the Foobies tab, but needless to say this thread has given me a serious case of peter south.
 
2012-08-31 01:35:40 AM  
Wait....you can piss and fap at the same time?
 
2012-08-31 01:36:16 AM  

Salem Witch: LowbrowDeluxe: penis de-gloving? Closed urethra? Retrograde ejaculation?!?!? SO MANY MEDICAL TERMS I DIDN'T KNOW I HATED

What in the ever loving jeebus is Retrograde Ejaculation?

/The Mr. asked if it came with fuzzy dice-balls.


Semen goes into the bladder instead of out the penis.
 
2012-08-31 01:36:50 AM  

Salem Witch: LowbrowDeluxe: penis de-gloving? Closed urethra? Retrograde ejaculation?!?!? SO MANY MEDICAL TERMS I DIDN'T KNOW I HATED

What in the ever loving jeebus is Retrograde Ejaculation?

/The Mr. asked if it came with fuzzy dice-balls.


[cringing]

Is it when the penis starts to come and then sucks the ejaculate back up the urethra?
 
2012-08-31 01:37:01 AM  

911Jenny: Wait....you can piss and fap at the same time?


You can do a lot of things and fap at the same time. If you talk to people with certain Fetishes, to them it actually feels like an orgasm.
 
2012-08-31 01:37:40 AM  
My only question is, "this morning would have a Fark.com penis trifecta?"
 
2012-08-31 01:37:46 AM  

Grestep: Salem Witch: LowbrowDeluxe: penis de-gloving? Closed urethra? Retrograde ejaculation?!?!? SO MANY MEDICAL TERMS I DIDN'T KNOW I HATED

What in the ever loving jeebus is Retrograde Ejaculation?

/The Mr. asked if it came with fuzzy dice-balls.

Semen goes into the bladder instead of out the penis.


Subby`s mom was so nasty, the sperm retreated to a fall bac position?
 
2012-08-31 01:38:17 AM  
Is there a gif of it?
 
2012-08-31 01:38:18 AM  
cdn.walyou.com

/GIS for "Bloody Dick."
//Now you do it.
///It'll be fun.
 
2012-08-31 01:38:29 AM  
FTA On its website, the company says VirilisPro is "made with only natural ingredients to prevent harmful side effects."

He can't have kids anymore, so I guess they're right.
 
2012-08-31 01:38:50 AM  

Omahawg: go ahead and think about the noise a hungry fat man makes when he sucks up a coconut cream pie through a straw.

think about that

degloving

yes yes


You are just sick, sad and wrong.

I read your comment to Mr. Witch and he is holding his junk and laughing like a madman.
 
2012-08-31 01:39:38 AM  
Next time don't take the whole bottle at once or try to wash it down with two grams of coke, mmkay cowboy?
 
2012-08-31 01:40:28 AM  

BronyMedic: 911Jenny: Wait....you can piss and fap at the same time?

You can do a lot of things and fap at the same time. If you talk to people with certain Fetishes, to them it actually feels like an orgasm.


Im sure the spiders wouldnt mjnd the side action...

/they get an anal degloving of sorts when they die
 
2012-08-31 01:40:31 AM  

BronyMedic: 911Jenny: Wait....you can piss and fap at the same time?

You can do a lot of things and fap at the same time. If you talk to people with certain Fetishes, to them it actually feels like an orgasm.


I am not clicking any of your links.

No. *slaps your nose with a rolled up paper* NO. BAD!
 
2012-08-31 01:40:47 AM  

Oznog: BronyMedic: knbber2: WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*

Prepare for nightmare fuel.

A degloving injury is a type of avulsion in which an extensive section of skin is completely torn off the underlying tissue, severing its blood supply. It is named by analogy to the process of removing a glove. Degloved skin is effectively dead.

This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.

That's not what he's describing in TFA.

It's a terrifying yet completely reasonable, safe surgical technique where they cut the skin in a ring behind the glans and slide it down towards the abdomen. The blood supply and nerves are basically safe because they're not separated from the base and it exposes the entire length of internal junk for repair with a minimum of cutting, stitching, scarring. It is the procedure used for any "broken penis" injury AFAIK.

TFA: Emergency room doctors had to "deglove" Carter's penis in order to repair it, rendering him unable to have sex or future children, Carter claimed.
Well, not from THIS procedure.


SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP
 
2012-08-31 01:41:16 AM  
Guess a 4 hour erection just became Okey Dokey!
 
2012-08-31 01:41:31 AM  
I don't know whether to laugh, cry or see a shrink after this thread, but I am glad that I have fark to make sure we're not aloe in experiencing the who..horror..
 
2012-08-31 01:41:43 AM  

911Jenny: Wait....you can piss and fap at the same time?


Think of it as a hand cocked sprinkler...
 
2012-08-31 01:41:59 AM  

DORMAMU: what happens when you piss while fapping?


www.thehosedown.com
 
2012-08-31 01:42:48 AM  

911Jenny: BronyMedic: 911Jenny: Wait....you can piss and fap at the same time?

You can do a lot of things and fap at the same time. If you talk to people with certain Fetishes, to them it actually feels like an orgasm.

I am not clicking any of your links.

No. *slaps your nose with a rolled up paper* NO. BAD!


Careful, based on that link you might have given him an orgasm...
 
2012-08-31 01:44:04 AM  
Unfortunate ad before the video playback. Here is the screen capture. It was Clinton endorsing the Big O.

farm9.staticflickr.com/">
 
2012-08-31 01:45:26 AM  

DeltaPunch: DORMAMU: what happens when you piss while fapping?


*golclap.gif*

I do find it interesting 911jenny has focused in the fapping piss instead of the spiders sqautting in your penile portrusion... Well squatting till evicted by degloving...
 
2012-08-31 01:45:32 AM  

freewill: He sees a case -- called "eggplant penis" -- at least once a month.

[www.mikelawton.com image 323x301]


This was pretty much the expression on my face when I saw the headline.
 
2012-08-31 01:45:38 AM  

DORMAMU: areful, based on that link you might have given him an orgasm..


WAIT, WHAT?!

www.pc486.net

Watersports aren't my bag, baby!
 
2012-08-31 01:46:50 AM  
fc09.deviantart.net
What a Bloody Sanchez may look like.

/Lookee at what I invented.
 
2012-08-31 01:48:38 AM  

BronyMedic: DORMAMU: areful, based on that link you might have given him an orgasm..

WAIT, WHAT?!



Watersports aren't my bag, baby!


I was referring to the rolled up paper swatting of your nose!

/Not a do it yourself log flume.
 
2012-08-31 01:49:21 AM  

DORMAMU: DeltaPunch: DORMAMU: what happens when you piss while fapping?

*golclap.gif*

I do find it interesting 911jenny has focused in the fapping piss instead of the spiders sqautting in your penile portrusion... Well squatting till evicted by degloving...


I've learned a lot today.

Spiders live in your skin til they explode from poo.

Degloving

And you can fap and pee at the same time.

Which leads me to...can you even pee and um, finish, at the same time?

/I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.
 
2012-08-31 01:49:48 AM  
this thread is not making me happy.
 
2012-08-31 01:51:24 AM  
members.mrtc.com
 
2012-08-31 01:52:11 AM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: [fc09.deviantart.net image 350x466]
What a Bloody Sanchez may look like.

/Lookee at what I invented.


And right now the porn industry is creating a new fetish category, thanks to you.
 
2012-08-31 01:53:32 AM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: [fc09.deviantart.net image 350x466]
What a Bloody Sanchez may look like.

/Lookee at what I invented.


I farking hate everyone here, especially you, SGLS, you take a horrible thread and make it even worse. You are a very bad person.
 
2012-08-31 01:53:32 AM  
To answer your question, i refer you to the link you swatted bronymedic on the nose for.

As for your slashie, i will quote the venerable & wise Robin Williams:

GOD GAVE MAN TWO HEADS! BUT ONLY ENOUGH BLOOD TO USE ONE AT A TIME!
 
2012-08-31 01:55:32 AM  

911Jenny: Which leads me to...can you even pee and um, finish, at the same time?


Some men can, but it's not a true orgasm. Certain parts of the male anatomy, when stimulated, can cause bladder spasms which can make you pee. When you have a true orgasm, that little sphincter at the base of your bladder slams shut. Certain things, like sounding or catheter play, can cause you to pee with an orgasm, because they're physically stinting the bladder open.

Women, on the other hand, can most definitely pee and have an orgasm. It's one of the reasons women can "squirt"

/how did we get on THIS?!
 
2012-08-31 01:55:38 AM  
my penis looks like a belly button right now.
 
2012-08-31 01:56:15 AM  

LordOfThePings:


I see you & raise you:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/24/asexual-mao-sugiyama-cooks-s e rves-own-genitals_n_1543307.html

/stir fry anyone?
 
2012-08-31 01:57:09 AM  
www.oddpic.com
Artists depiction of the accident.
 
2012-08-31 01:57:55 AM  

BronyMedic: 911Jenny: Which leads me to...can you even pee and um, finish, at the same time?

Some men can, but it's not a true orgasm. Certain parts of the male anatomy, when stimulated, can cause bladder spasms which can make you pee. When you have a true orgasm, that little sphincter at the base of your bladder slams shut. Certain things, like sounding or catheter play, can cause you to pee with an orgasm, because they're physically stinting the bladder open.

Women, on the other hand, can most definitely pee and have an orgasm. It's one of the reasons women can "squirt"

/how did we get on THIS?!


*raises hand*

My post near bottom of page 1.
 
2012-08-31 01:59:51 AM  

BronyMedic: 911Jenny: Which leads me to...can you even pee and um, finish, at the same time?

Some men can, but it's not a true orgasm. Certain parts of the male anatomy, when stimulated, can cause bladder spasms which can make you pee. When you have a true orgasm, that little sphincter at the base of your bladder slams shut. Certain things, like sounding or catheter play, can cause you to pee with an orgasm, because they're physically stinting the bladder open.

Women, on the other hand, can most definitely pee and have an orgasm. It's one of the reasons women can "squirt"

/how did we get on THIS?!


Thanks Doc!

/ahead of the curve
//prep is key to mess
///3rd times is the charm
 
2012-08-31 02:00:08 AM  

DORMAMU: I see you & raise you:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/24/asexual-mao-sugiyama-cooks-s e rves-own-genitals_n_1543307.html

/stir fry anyone?


What.... it's just a ball of clay.
 
2012-08-31 02:00:38 AM  

BronyMedic: 911Jenny: Which leads me to...can you even pee and um, finish, at the same time?

Some men can, but it's not a true orgasm. Certain parts of the male anatomy, when stimulated, can cause bladder spasms which can make you pee. When you have a true orgasm, that little sphincter at the base of your bladder slams shut. Certain things, like sounding or catheter play, can cause you to pee with an orgasm, because they're physically stinting the bladder open.

Women, on the other hand, can most definitely pee and have an orgasm. It's one of the reasons women can "squirt"

/how did we get on THIS?!


and i didn't think this could get anymore disturbing....huh.
/you're quite the fountain of information aren't you?
 
2012-08-31 02:02:21 AM  
 
2012-08-31 02:03:41 AM  
I had a joke about Lorena Bobbitt changing her tactics, but then Basemetal happened.
 
2012-08-31 02:04:05 AM  

drayno76: Summer Glau's Love Slave: [fc09.deviantart.net image 350x466]
What a Bloody Sanchez may look like.

/Lookee at what I invented.

I farking hate everyone here, especially you, SGLS, you take a horrible thread and make it even worse. You are a very bad person.


*Clicks Favorites*
 
2012-08-31 02:05:32 AM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: [www.oddpic.com image 443x437]
Artists depiction of the accident.


t1.gstatic.com

Close up of the malfunction
 
2012-08-31 02:06:11 AM  
You know, I would've been content going my whole life without knowing this.

Now? Now I'm going to be fearing it my whole life. Thank you, subby. I'll remember to curse you on my deathbed.
 
2012-08-31 02:06:53 AM  
Now Im going to ask my boyfriend if he has accidentally peed-za'd when he meant to French fry.

Or maybe I dont want to know.

No....I do.
 
2012-08-31 02:07:34 AM  

LordOfThePings: DORMAMU: I see you & raise you:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/24/asexual-mao-sugiyama-cooks-s e rves-own-genitals_n_1543307.html

/stir fry anyone?

What.... it's just a ball of clay.


Sorry. lookked like a liquid nitrogen frozen mammal teste dropped on the floor.

\carr on
 
2012-08-31 02:08:32 AM  

Gyrfalcon: this thread is not making me happy.


Why? I'm laughing my ass off, sorry degloving my ass :)
 
2012-08-31 02:08:44 AM  

DORMAMU: To answer your question, i refer you to the link you swatted bronymedic on the nose for.

As for your slashie, i will quote the venerable & wise Robin Williams:

GOD GAVE MAN TWO HEADS! BUT ONLY ENOUGH BLOOD TO USE ONE AT A TIME!


This message intended for 911jenny....
 
2012-08-31 02:09:20 AM  
www.russellheimlich.com

/Penis.
//The other red meat.
 
2012-08-31 02:09:34 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Gyrfalcon: this thread is not making me happy.

Why? I'm laughing my ass off, sorry degloving my ass :)


LOL..



WTH am I still on this thread?????
 
2012-08-31 02:10:16 AM  

911Jenny: Now Im going to ask my boyfriend if he has accidentally peed-za'd when he meant to French fry.

Or maybe I dont want to know.

No....I do.


Dont forget to post his answer!
 
2012-08-31 02:11:03 AM  
SGLS, props on QOW :D - I always think of that one when the phrase comes up.
 
2012-08-31 02:11:26 AM  

DORMAMU: Summer Glau's Love Slave: [www.oddpic.com image 443x437]
Artists depiction of the accident.



Close up of the malfunction


You are terrible people... I love you.
 
2012-08-31 02:11:39 AM  
I will. He's on his way over right now.
 
2012-08-31 02:18:16 AM  
img19.imageshack.us

3.bp.blogspot.com

www.comfytummy.com

Degloving conundrum?
 
2012-08-31 02:19:16 AM  
remember, kids, if the glove don't fit you must acquit
 
2012-08-31 02:20:06 AM  

socially inept was taken: and i didn't think this could get anymore disturbing....huh.
/you're quite the fountain of information aren't you?


You learn things when you work around people who are notorious for being complete, kinky freaks in their private lives - Nurses and other Healthcare workers.

/That, and a lot of abnormal psych coursework on human sexuality.
//Different strokes for different folks. It's all ok as long as it's consensual and not causing undue distress to someone else.
 
2012-08-31 02:21:59 AM  
static.prtst.net
Taken just moments before the "dreadful degloving."
 
2012-08-31 02:22:20 AM  

Uglybarnacle: [img19.imageshack.us image 640x480]

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]

[www.comfytummy.com image 500x333]

Degloving conundrum?


I'm so very scared, I'm going to bed for my Nightmare, Sleep tight boys!
 
2012-08-31 02:22:51 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-31 02:23:29 AM  

Strongbeerrules: Was the mirror on the ceiling?


The pink champagne was on ice.
 
2012-08-31 02:24:26 AM  
I hate it when I thread spaghetti through my penis, and then boil it.

2.bp.blogspot.comwww.freemontsoffice.com 

And then serve it with green beans! I hate it when that happens!
 
2012-08-31 02:25:40 AM  
My girlfrend does kgeels but i never had this problm..
 
2012-08-31 02:27:00 AM  
I was going to say "AHHHHHH!" for as long as it took for me to not be horrified anymore, but then I realized the "H" key would break, the keyboard would cease functioning, the house would decay beyond habitability, and the Sun would expand and swallow the solar system before that happened.

/AHHHHHHH
 
2012-08-31 02:29:17 AM  

LordOfThePings: I hate it when I thread spaghetti through my penis, and then boil it.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 300x400][www.freemontsoffice.com image 533x400] 

And then serve it with green beans! I hate it when that happens!


That's a thing really? I had no idea. O_o
 
2012-08-31 02:31:02 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: That's a thing really? I had no idea. O_o


Looks like E. Coli

dco.gl.ciw.edu
 
2012-08-31 02:32:03 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: And then serve it with green beans! I hate it when that happens!

That's a thing really? I had no idea. O_o


Which part? No, I don't believe green beans exist. I've never seen one in person.
 
2012-08-31 02:32:23 AM  
This thread didn't happen. This thread didn't happen. This thread didn't happen.
 
2012-08-31 02:35:01 AM  

ToxicMunkee: I passed out and I don't even have a penis.


i2.cdn.turner.com
 
2012-08-31 02:35:33 AM  

BronyMedic: tinfoil-hat maggie: That's a thing really? I had no idea. O_o

Looks like E. Coli

[dco.gl.ciw.edu image 343x418]


I wont even say say what that looks like to me right now.
 
2012-08-31 02:36:35 AM  

LordOfThePings: tinfoil-hat maggie: And then serve it with green beans! I hate it when that happens!

That's a thing really? I had no idea. O_o

Which part? No, I don't believe green beans exist. I've never seen one in person.


Yea, it was the green beans that freaked me out :)
 
2012-08-31 02:39:57 AM  

BizarreMan: If you're a 29 year old male who feels the need to take penile enhancement supplements, you have issues before it breaks.


Amen to that!
 
2012-08-31 02:44:09 AM  
www.ne.jp
The injured "unit" will have to remain immobilized throughout the long recovery process.
 
2012-08-31 02:48:57 AM  
I actually had a small bout of hematospermia when I was in my 20s, and I got an infection in my epididymis. There are few things scarier for a young man than suddenly cumming blood one day.
 
2012-08-31 02:52:31 AM  
"If it's nae Scottish, it's crrrrrrrrrap!"
 
2012-08-31 02:59:15 AM  

Mad_Radhu: I actually had a small bout of hematospermia when I was in my 20s, and I got an infection in my epididymis. There are few things scarier for a young man than suddenly cumming blood one day.


Peeling the skin off your penis and exposing all the underlying muscle and vein tissue?
 
2012-08-31 03:06:30 AM  
Told you he was hardcore...

/*shudder*

Summer Glau's Love Slave: [www.ne.jp image 350x526]
The injured "unit" will have to remain immobilized throughout the long recovery process.


Penis gourds?
 
2012-08-31 03:07:39 AM  
I don't know whats worse, the story or the fact that the old lady started giggling like a demented chucky doll after she read it
 
2012-08-31 03:11:55 AM  
God damnit, I'm so drunk and laughing hysterically at the comments is the only thing keeping me from crying in a corner for eternity.

/masturbated before finishing this thread. Just in case it was the last time, ya know.
 
2012-08-31 03:14:42 AM  

Paris1127: Summer Glau's Love Slave: [www.ne.jp image 350x526]
The injured "unit" will have to remain immobilized throughout the long recovery process.

Penis gourds?


You should see my Mom's.
 
2012-08-31 03:15:15 AM  

Mad_Radhu: I actually had a small bout of hematospermia when I was in my 20s, and I got an infection in my epididymis. There are few things scarier for a young man than suddenly cumming blood one day.


i16.photobucket.com ?
 
2012-08-31 03:22:40 AM  
i52.tinypic.com
 
2012-08-31 03:27:03 AM  
www.causticsodapodcast.com

It sounds like the guys who did the blood spray for Kill Bill testing out their new gear.
 
2012-08-31 03:48:40 AM  

BronyMedic: 911Jenny: Which leads me to...can you even pee and um, finish, at the same time?

Some men can, but it's not a true orgasm. Certain parts of the male anatomy, when stimulated, can cause bladder spasms which can make you pee. When you have a true orgasm, that little sphincter at the base of your bladder slams shut. Certain things, like sounding or catheter play, can cause you to pee with an orgasm, because they're physically stinting the bladder open.

Women, on the other hand, can most definitely pee and have an orgasm. It's one of the reasons women can "squirt"

/how did we get on THIS?!


I don't know, but can we please get off it?

Wait...that's not right...
 
2012-08-31 03:51:07 AM  

DORMAMU: 911Jenny: Now Im going to ask my boyfriend if he has accidentally peed-za'd when he meant to French fry.

Or maybe I dont want to know.

No....I do.

Dont forget to post his answer!


Me: Hi Honey. Have you ever peed inside of me?
Him: WTF???

He said no, never. And that it hurts to pee if he's at more than half mast.

He asked what made me ask this and I mentioned degloving and people on the Internet. He shook his head and we sang "Piss on You".

The end.
 
2012-08-31 03:55:48 AM  
I thought that he was automatically degloved when he watched that clip of the four harpies on The View.
 
2012-08-31 04:00:22 AM  

Gyrfalcon: I don't know, but can we please get off it?

Wait...that's not right...


scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com
 
2012-08-31 04:09:37 AM  

BronyMedic: Gyrfalcon: I don't know, but can we please get off it?

Wait...that's not right...

[scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com image 320x179]


You're scaring me, doc.

I like that in a man.
 
2012-08-31 04:10:05 AM  

clevershark: [NSFL+NSFW] Here is a medical abstract showing an extreme case of penile degloving. [NSFL+NSFW]


Oh dear lord, I should know better than to click by now!

UGH!
 
2012-08-31 04:16:03 AM  
Anyone else spot the ad on the article?

" Virilis Pro male enhancement supplement. (Amazon) "
 
2012-08-31 04:30:11 AM  

Medic Zero: Anyone else spot the ad on the article?

" Virilis Pro male enhancement supplement. (Amazon) "



No those are targeted ads, so now we know what your browser history contains at least 8-)
 
2012-08-31 04:31:39 AM  
What a de gloved penis may look like.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-31 04:36:42 AM  

Medic Zero: Anyone else spot the ad on the article?

" Virilis Pro male enhancement supplement. (Amazon) "


Uh, Google AdSense is seeing your history, and ......
 
2012-08-31 04:45:05 AM  

BronyMedic: knbber2: WTF is degloving a penis????

*shudder*

Prepare for nightmare fuel.

A degloving injury is a type of avulsion in which an extensive section of skin is completely torn off the underlying tissue, severing its blood supply. It is named by analogy to the process of removing a glove. Degloved skin is effectively dead.

This is what a degloving injury to the penis, secondary to an underlying disease process, looks like. Not safe for work, sanity if you're a male, and not for lunch.


Oh God...Oh God...Oh God...I'm just gonna go over here and curl up in a fetal position now.

Oh God...
 
2012-08-31 05:13:31 AM  
what the hell?!

/backs slowly out of thread
 
2012-08-31 05:18:33 AM  
So anyone else mention the total bullshiat to the story? Urologists stating that the bloody spray accident was totally unlikely, that a degloving as an ER event, also totally unlikely.

And I'd like to add, the supplement being the likely cause, also unlikely. How many of these "all natural" penis enhancement pills work? I mean really? I think it's funny though, since in order to mount a credible defense, the defendants will have to admit that their pills have only a placebo effect at best.
 
2012-08-31 05:34:31 AM  
I wish this thread would just go away and bury it's head in the bloody sand.

*shiver*
 
2012-08-31 05:35:10 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: BronyMedic: tinfoil-hat maggie: That's a thing really? I had no idea. O_o

Looks like E. Coli

[dco.gl.ciw.edu image 343x418]

I wont even say say what that looks like to me right now.


French Tickler?
 
2012-08-31 05:39:06 AM  

Gawdzila: tinfoil-hat maggie: BronyMedic: tinfoil-hat maggie: That's a thing really? I had no idea. O_o

Looks like E. Coli

[dco.gl.ciw.edu image 343x418]

I wont even say say what that looks like to me right now.

French Tickler?


Heh, not quite, let's just say I was wondering why they had multiple strings and loose threads :)
 
2012-08-31 05:54:24 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Gawdzila: tinfoil-hat maggie: I wont even say say what that looks like to me right now.

French Tickler?

Heh, not quite, let's just say I was wondering why they had multiple strings and loose threads :)


LOL. I like my version better, it's sexier ;)
 
2012-08-31 05:54:34 AM  

JohnnyApocalypse: So anyone else mention the total bullshiat to the story? Urologists stating that the bloody spray accident was totally unlikely, that a degloving as an ER event, also totally unlikely.

And I'd like to add, the supplement being the likely cause, also unlikely. How many of these "all natural" penis enhancement pills work? I mean really? I think it's funny though, since in order to mount a credible defense, the defendants will have to admit that their pills have only a placebo effect at best.


A degloving IS done as part of a surgical treatment. It is gonna be a urologist IN the ER, but not by your standard ER doctors. I'm assuming it'd be done when he's under anesthesia so the exact gore of the procedure isn't relevant, he went in with an "eggplant penis" in imminent danger of never working again and woke up with some stitches, swelling going down,color returning to normal, and a good prognosis. Who cares what had to be done in between?

Like any medical treatment, the point is to "make it better", it doesn't keep him from having children, WTF was that even saying.
 
2012-08-31 06:02:45 AM  

Oznog: Like any medical treatment, the point is to "make it better", it doesn't keep him from having children, WTF was that even saying.


Uh, I think if that ever happened to me, I'd be so mentally scarred, I wouldn't have sex for a long time, which would certainly prevent me from having children for a while.
 
2012-08-31 06:06:10 AM  

Gawdzila: tinfoil-hat maggie: Gawdzila: tinfoil-hat maggie: I wont even say say what that looks like to me right now.

French Tickler?

Heh, not quite, let's just say I was wondering why they had multiple strings and loose threads :)

LOL. I like my version better, it's sexier ;)


Oh, so that's what I've been doing wrong all this time :)
/And really you said sexy during a thread about degloving, that's hard core :)
 
2012-08-31 06:09:09 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: /And really you said sexy during a thread about degloving, that's hard core :)


Again, fetishes. Internet. I'm sure there are some people who can't even get off without mutilating their own genitals.
 
2012-08-31 06:09:19 AM  
Came here for.....well, I'm not sure.

Leaving nauseated.
 
2012-08-31 06:10:45 AM  

GranoblasticMan: Uh, I think if that ever happened to me, I'd be so mentally scarred, I wouldn't have sex for a long time, which would certainly prevent me from having children for a while.


That's why we give you the good drugs.

images.chemistdirect.co.uk

www.multinet.no
 
2012-08-31 06:15:18 AM  

BronyMedic: That's why we give you the good drugs.


Yes sir. Sign me up!
 
2012-08-31 06:23:35 AM  

Hale-Bopp: This thread didn't happen. This thread didn't happen. This thread didn't happen.


I suspect its epic-ness will become legendary.
 
2012-08-31 06:23:43 AM  

MayContainHorseGluten: OK, am I the only one who's concerned that he bought this stuff at a freaking gas station? Who the hell trusts medication -- penis medication, at that -- from a Chevron?!


this, This, and THIS!!!

Didn't even read page 2 of TFA, I'd had enough by then. If you're weener is shooting blood, you are definitely doing it wrong.
 
2012-08-31 06:24:20 AM  

BronyMedic: GranoblasticMan: Uh, I think if that ever happened to me, I'd be so mentally scarred, I wouldn't have sex for a long time, which would certainly prevent me from having children for a while.

That's why we give you the good drugs.


Special K and Michael Jackson juice ftw! Conscious sedation is a funny thing.
 
2012-08-31 06:30:46 AM  
There, after "initial exploratory surgery," doctors allegedly "degloved," or removed the skin from the penis, and repaired his urethra, which had "separated completely."

Christ on a unicycle.
 
2012-08-31 06:32:24 AM  

GranoblasticMan: tinfoil-hat maggie: /And really you said sexy during a thread about degloving, that's hard core :)

Again, fetishes. Internet. I'm sure there are some people who can't even get off without mutilating their own genitals.


LOL, oh O_o well that makes sense I guess
 
2012-08-31 06:32:29 AM  
Was he listening to Cannibal Corpse?
 
2012-08-31 06:34:02 AM  

Nick Nostril: There, after "initial exploratory surgery," doctors allegedly "degloved," or removed the skin from the penis, and repaired his urethra, which had "separated completely."

Christ on a unicycle.


In otherwords, this.

img.gawkerassets.com
 
2012-08-31 06:44:21 AM  
I don't know if this has been mentioned, but that must have been some tight poooosy.
 
2012-08-31 06:45:22 AM  
arrest him. he obviously tried to rape her (really hard)
 
2012-08-31 06:47:04 AM  

propasaurus: This should go without saying, but you really do NOT want to GIS 'penile degloving.'


why not? (type, type)...WTF?? I'm done.
 
2012-08-31 06:47:56 AM  
Sat down to read some Fark and managed to stub my toe in the process. Doesn't really hurt but has that throb going on. It'll probably be a little sore tomorrow. What a horrible day.

So what's this story about?
/Goes off to read TFA
 
2012-08-31 06:50:47 AM  
ic.pics.livejournal.com

ic.pics.livejournal.com 

Eat up!
 
2012-08-31 06:54:06 AM  
So who else used the off-hand to protect their jewels while RTFA?
 
2012-08-31 07:02:07 AM  

DeltaPunch: DORMAMU: what happens when you piss while fapping?

[www.thehosedown.com image 350x350]


As we used to say in the fire department "If you can't reach the fire, reel out more hose."

Did you hear about the man with five penises? His pants fit him like a glove.
 
2012-08-31 07:16:40 AM  

Lone Stranger: [ic.pics.livejournal.com image 382x500]

[ic.pics.livejournal.com image 660x484] 

Eat up!


Wow, it's like that was made for this thread :)
 
2012-08-31 07:20:26 AM  
Five comments in... Backs out of thread

/smaller than I was
 
2012-08-31 07:20:37 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: /And really you said sexy during a thread about degloving, that's hard core :)


Lol, yeah I'm pretty hard core ;)
Although TBH I was thinking about you and french ticklers, not... that other thing.

/*shudder*
 
2012-08-31 07:25:41 AM  
Looks like someone got The Gush (NSFW)
 
2012-08-31 07:27:01 AM  

Gawdzila: Although TBH I was thinking about you and french ticklers, not... that other thing.


You don't like a little CBT?
 
2012-08-31 07:32:19 AM  

Gawdzila: tinfoil-hat maggie: /And really you said sexy during a thread about degloving, that's hard core :)

Lol, yeah I'm pretty hard core ;)
Although TBH I was thinking about you and french ticklers, not... that other thing.

/*shudder*


I hope you're drinking as much as I am right now because you just called me TBH, oh I know I make lot's of typo's but really :)
 
2012-08-31 07:33:38 AM  
Puts the maker of Virilis in a rather uncomfortable position. Now they may be forced to defend themselves by admitting that this natural treatment is complete bullshiat.
 
2012-08-31 07:40:12 AM  
Stop greenlighting these!!!! My little fireman screamed and crawled so far back into my abdominal cavity that I'm gonna to need an exorcism to get it back.
 
2012-08-31 07:49:17 AM  

Captain PTMB: Stop greenlighting these!!!! My little fireman screamed and crawled so far back into my abdominal cavity that I'm gonna to need an exorcism to get it back.


I don't understand :)
simpleginger.com
 
2012-08-31 07:54:36 AM  
Wow man...it just really sucks to be him. I'm so glad I ain't him.
 
2012-08-31 07:55:13 AM  
I'm sorry, could you all repeat your comments? I couldn't hear them over the sound of my D I C K SCREAMING!!!
 
hej
2012-08-31 07:57:55 AM  
Jesus christ why the fark did I click on this link?
 
2012-08-31 07:58:33 AM  

BronyMedic: GranoblasticMan: Uh, I think if that ever happened to me, I'd be so mentally scarred, I wouldn't have sex for a long time, which would certainly prevent me from having children for a while.

That's why we give you the good drugs.

[images.chemistdirect.co.uk image 250x250]

[www.multinet.no image 312x312]


mmmmmmmm, Milk of Amnesia.....
 
2012-08-31 08:21:05 AM  
media.tumblr.com
 
2012-08-31 08:24:33 AM  

DORMAMU: LordOfThePings:

I see you & raise you:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/24/asexual-mao-sugiyama-cooks-s e rves-own-genitals_n_1543307.html

/stir fry anyone?


Dude, I thought every weird thing I'd ever seen or heard could be covered with the phrase WTF....until now. I'm not sure there is a phrase powerful enough to cover that.
 
2012-08-31 08:26:54 AM  
 
2012-08-31 08:28:02 AM  
*skims over thread*

WELL I"M AWAKE!
 
2012-08-31 08:34:22 AM  
degloved penis

Oh Lawd. It's gonna be that kind of Friday.
 
2012-08-31 08:42:40 AM  
Summer Glau's Love Slave: [www.oddpic.com image 443x437]
Artists depiction of the accident.


I am emailing that to my father!!
 
2012-08-31 09:09:57 AM  

Gawdzila: On its website, the company says VirilisPro is "made with only natural ingredients to prevent harmful side effects."

Natural:
[farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x333]

Natural:
[www.toxinfo.org image 500x526]

Natural:
[www.hotelclub.com image 440x330]

Natural:
[www.webelements.com image 320x240]
[www.thunderhealing.com image 320x240]

Natural:
[www.hotelclub.com image 440x330]

Natural:
[farm8.staticflickr.com image 440x587]


lets not forget that a lot of those are organic as well.
 
2012-08-31 09:20:56 AM  
Eggplant penis = something racial, I am sure.

Also, article says "He alleged that when he purchased the supplement, the store [Chevron gas station] clerk suggested the product as "natural and safe." Well, at least he consulted with a professional prior to his purchase.
 
2012-08-31 09:22:25 AM  

Gordon Bennett: ToxicMunkee: I passed out and I don't even have a penis.


At this point I would like to make some sort of comment about being able to lend you one several times in rapid succession but my eyes are still watering from the article and my body is involuntarily curled up in defence.

freewill: Brytanica1: There are several of you that I hate right now. A fiery, burning hatred, as if my testicles had been dipped in kerosene and set on fire.

You should get that checked out. It could be eggplant scrotum.

/ They're going to have to peel your junk like an overripe banana set of grapes.


/FTFY
 
2012-08-31 09:23:01 AM  
I'm a bit surprised no one has picked up on one of the parties named in the lawsuit is:
Solid Rock Worship Company
WTF?
 
2012-08-31 09:24:06 AM  
Why the hell were their two quotes in my posting when I only clicked on one to reply to? Sorry for the confusion Gordon Bennett.
 
2012-08-31 09:26:06 AM  
Sucks to be this guy, but he has proven no link between the Virilis supplement and the injury. Maybe he should sue Chevron, since the injury ocurred shortly after he visited one of their gas stations. Correlation does not equal causation.
 
2012-08-31 09:26:14 AM  
Why is it called a fracture? There is no bone or cartilage ..... isn't this a hemorrhage? A rupture? A million things but not a fracture?
 
2012-08-31 09:46:50 AM  
a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis

a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis

a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis

howmanyarethere.net
 
2012-08-31 09:48:21 AM  

Mad_Radhu: I actually had a small bout of hematospermia when I was in my 20s, and I got an infection in my epididymis. There are few things scarier for a young man than suddenly cumming blood one day.


You should have stopped fapping after the fifth round Champ. Also, add lube, slow down, and loosen your grip to avoid a Heat Stroke.

/the more you know
 
2012-08-31 10:18:00 AM  
Great. Now I want a hot dog.
 
gja
2012-08-31 11:10:47 AM  
Welcome to this episode of "Deadliest Snatch: Vagina Dentata"

/holding pillow over willy
 
2012-08-31 11:39:14 AM  
Well I fainted dead away

Mods need a severe worded letter from the UN
 
2012-08-31 11:39:36 AM  

MayContainHorseGluten: OK, am I the only one who's concerned that he bought this stuff at a freaking gas station? Who the hell trusts medication -- penis medication, at that -- from a Chevron?!


I know, that was my first thought, too.

This happened (sans the degloving part) to a friend's husband at their camp in a small town, where he was known to everybody. She felt warm gooey stuff hit her face during sex and thought "WTF, he never shoots that far." Turned the lights on to a horror movie scene. Blood everywhere, pouring out his penis. Ran outside naked, screaming for help. Half the town shows up, thinking she did something to him. At the hospital, the doctor said he had lost nearly a quart of blood.

When she was telling me the story the next monday, I said "Way to go, raising the bar on the bad weekend from hell." We laughed so hard, I leaked a few drops (of pee, not blood!).
 
2012-08-31 11:47:53 AM  
A "supplement" purchased at a Chevron station isn't safe or effective? Get the fark outta here.
 
mhd
2012-08-31 11:52:27 AM  
Since when does OTC "herbal" stuff work in any way?
 
2012-08-31 11:52:43 AM  
Also, maybe you shouldn't mimic the shiat you see in pornos by shoving your peen into holes as roughly as possible. I'm guessing that's what happened here.

Whatever the "supplement" is, I doubt it was metabolized by his system soon enough to have any effect whatsoever on his "performance." Regardless of what the instructions on the packaging may have implied.
 
2012-08-31 12:01:55 PM  
Well, that article was a horrifying read.
 
2012-08-31 12:11:47 PM  
Well something good has come out of this. I am no longer hungry. Thanks Fark.
 
2012-08-31 12:15:52 PM  
encrypted-tbn1.google.com
 
2012-08-31 12:17:22 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

And now they can do both...
 
2012-08-31 12:44:04 PM  
I read this and now never want to take my pants off again. =/


/went on my first date in far too long the other night
//hope she's okay with chastity
 
2012-08-31 01:12:44 PM  
 
2012-08-31 01:16:12 PM  

propasaurus: This should go without saying, but you really do NOT want to GIS 'penile degloving.'



Hey, you're not the boss of me!

\okay, so maybe you were right this one time
 
2012-08-31 02:23:24 PM  
encrypted-tbn3.google.com

... and yet I read every comment. I must be a masocist.
 
2012-08-31 02:31:05 PM  
gallery.danhulton.com
 
2012-08-31 02:32:51 PM  
I sent this link to a friend who replied, "Dang, I always thought truckstop viagra was safe".
The name of my new band is gonna be Truckstop Viagra
 
2012-08-31 05:03:50 PM  
"So remind me, penis-degloving for your race, fatal or non fatal?" 

gergo.erdi.hu
 
2012-08-31 05:05:45 PM  
a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis
a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis
A LARGE QUANTITY OF BLOOD SQUIRTING OUT OF HIS PENIS
 
2012-08-31 05:07:29 PM  
i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-08-31 05:50:45 PM  

ArmyWarVet: Why the hell were their two quotes in my posting when I only clicked on one to reply to? Sorry for the confusion Gordon Bennett.


No problem at all. Fark has become a slightly stranger place since the last redesign. I personally enjoyed seeing what horrified statement I'd made in the thread with the image fresh in my mind.
 
2012-08-31 06:06:11 PM  

Gordon Bennett: Fark has become a slightly stranger place since the last redesign.


You're posting in a thread about penile degloving, and the redesign is strange?
 
2012-08-31 06:28:09 PM  
Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood squirting out of his penis.
 
2012-08-31 07:13:34 PM  
where he had sex with his "paramour," according to the lawsuit.
Is that what they call a street hooker in Texas now.
 
2012-08-31 07:36:31 PM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: unyon: Vagina Dentata?

DRTFA

[i1125.photobucket.com image 598x1023]


Came for the multiple vagina dentata comments, left...vaguely disturbed and with stories of how the Hero Twins broke the teeth of man-eating vaginas with stone dildos in my head. (Yes, these are surprisingly common)

[i1125.photobucket.com image 322x513]

/Pics may be unrelated.
//Or not.
///I'm sick, and I want to share.


Eh, the latter is just a geoduck, friends up in the Northwest assure me they're good eating, I just can't help but think of them as Gene Simmons clams :D

And until today I was rather blissfully unaware that it was possible to break a man's willy. I wish now I was still ignorant of this fact O_o

That said...after reading the article, one of the real shockers is that the "Herbal Viagra" linked to this is apparently made by some front company of a mess of full-on NARasite Jesus Campers...so now we have two reasons for the people behind this to go down in flames :D

/ten bucks to anyone says that the chemical analysis of the "Herbal Viagra" will find an actual Viagra or Cialis analogue
//so friggin' common especially with boner-pills of Chinese manufacture that you can set your co, erm, clock to it
 
2012-08-31 08:05:01 PM  

terryjft: I'm a bit surprised no one has picked up on one of the parties named in the lawsuit is:
Solid Rock Worship Company
WTF?


Yeah, that's a surprise that they got ACTUALLY CALLED OUT. :D

For those unaware--it's been a bit of an open secret for a while that some of the creepier Jesus Camper groups (and also Mormons, interestingly) like to promote vitamin-hawking MLMs, sometimes even running front companies for this purpose; usually, though, it's something like AmWay or Herbalife or Melaleuca or the like.

The church itself is really, really creepy Jesus Camper stuff including "cell churches" and talk of taking over the "Seven Mountains" and stuff (even using a new branding of Joel's Army/NAR stuff called "Gideon's Army" per some stuff in the Wayback Machine at their website--the most recent version really does make pains to hide the stuff most mainline Christians would consider Extra Heresy).

Either this business is operating as a front of the Culty McCultersons or the stuff must have been actively promoted in cell-churches (which are--interestingly--set up almost exactly like "downlines" in MLMs, hence one reason MLM promotion tends to be popular in them).

The really unusual thing is it seems to be possibly a bit from column A and a bit from column B. Whois admin info for virilispro.com:

Carney, Tyra tyrac­ar­ne­y­[nospam-﹫-backwards]ts­acm­oc*n­et
Carney Carney Financial Services llc
614 Atlanta Ct
Williamstown, New Jersey 08094
United States
8566731723 Fax -- 8566730302

Admin and registrant info for solidrockwc,org:

Registrant Name:Michael Heilig
Registrant Organization:Solid Rock Worship Center
Registrant Street1:99 Burnt Mills Road
Registrant Street2:
Registrant Street3:
Registrant City:Cherry Hill
Registrant State/Province:NJ
Registrant Postal Code:08003
Registrant Country:US
Registrant Phone:+1.8563540005
Registrant Phone Ext.:
Registrant FAX:
Registrant FAX Ext.:
Registrant Email:cbar­n­es­[nospam-﹫-backwards]y­m­ed­aca­s­i­ge­r­eh­t*com

Whois admin info for theregisacademy.com (a domain linked to Solid Rock):

Administrative Contact, Technical Contact:
Heilig, Michael cbar­n­es­[nospam-﹫-backwards]y­m­ed­aca­s­i­ge­r­eh­t*com
Solid Rock Worship Center
99 Burnt Mills Road
Cherry Hill, NJ 08003
US
856-354-0005

Seeing as the guy suing is in Texas, in a place Solid Rock likely doesn't have a "missionary" branch...yeah, this is probably a rather coercive church getting into a fine tradition of coercive groups everywhere--the business front :P
 
2012-08-31 08:18:29 PM  
Oh lord, and here I've found a copy of the actual filing here (warning: PDF, also not exactly safe for lunch or SAN)

Basically to cover what we don't know--a lot of the filing is for purposes of discovery, and yes, it would seem that the Jesus Camper church in question is operating Virilis Pro as a front or at least has ownership interest in it. (Also, the address for Haute Health is actually a private residence which again points to Minor Hinkiness.) Also, he REALLY broke the hell out of his willy (the part that's particularly NSFL or SAN), more so than the average willy-breakings described here on the thread (hence the worries if he'll need a machine to pee, much less ever have an erection again).
 
2012-08-31 08:26:50 PM  
I almost cried while reading the article, I had to stop.
Never having sex again?
That's awful.
 
2012-08-31 08:37:40 PM  
I WOULD LIKE TO SHOOT EVERY GODS DAMN ONE OF THOSE SH*T PEDDLING TRAITOROUS, BLASPHEMOUS BASTARDS on behalf of this one poor soul

the man could very easily have bled to death and his injuries are permanent

WHO IS WITH ME?
 
2012-08-31 08:41:04 PM  

Kittypie070: I WOULD LIKE TO SHOOT EVERY GODS DAMN ONE OF THOSE SH*T PEDDLING TRAITOROUS, BLASPHEMOUS BASTARDS on behalf of this one poor soul

the man could very easily have bled to death and his injuries are permanent

WHO IS WITH ME?


Sorry, I'm busy at the moment.
 
2012-08-31 09:19:55 PM  
Emergency room doctors had to "deglove" Carter's penis in order to repair it, rendering him unable to have sex or future children, Carter claimed.

So, he can't have children with large bulbous heads, pasty white skin, straw-like blonde hair, glowing neon eyes, and the ability to transmit telepathic commands into adults' heads?

Frankly, I would be happy go through a penis degloving to avoid being the parent of mutant spawn hell-bent on wiping out all remnants of their "less evolved" human ancestors.
 
2012-08-31 10:00:34 PM  
I hope I never again in my life hear or read the word "deglove".
 
2012-09-01 11:12:13 AM  
...totally understands........


ktismatics.files.wordpress.com

(too obscure?)
 
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