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(Globe and Mail)   Thieves break into Quebec warehouse and steal $30M worth of... maple syrup. Geez Canada, even your crimes are adorable   (theglobeandmail.com) divider line 17
    More: Amusing, Geez Canada, Quebec, University of Guelph, Quebec warehouse  
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3137 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2012 at 5:36 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-31 12:36:00 AM  
4 votes:

violentsalvation: "global strategic maple syrup reserve"

Am I reading the Onion?


We are holding the world together in ways you can't imagine up here. I'm not permitted to say much, but let's just say that after the apocalypse, breakfast is on us.
2012-08-31 08:38:36 AM  
3 votes:
This is the perfect story to use the "Sappy" tag. Subby missed that one
2012-08-31 01:13:05 AM  
3 votes:
30 million dollars worth? That's what, about 3 gallons?

/the real sh*t is expensive as fark
2012-08-31 05:38:46 AM  
2 votes:

BronyMedic: Is maple syrup really that expensive? Is it really worth that much?


Yes and yes.
2012-08-31 02:17:03 AM  
2 votes:

BronyMedic: Is maple syrup really that expensive? Is it really worth that much?


Buying bulk, it works out to about $75/gallon for medium grade. Liquid gold. Is it worth it? There is no substitute, in my opinion.
2012-08-31 08:17:19 PM  
1 votes:
The Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve ensures that in the event of a nuclear war or other global disaster, the Generals in the bunkers will have real maple syrup on their pancakes even if 75% of the population is wiped out.

As General B. Bopp put it, "there is just no damned way the Soviets are going to have pancake supremacy while I can pull a trigger. I don't care if I have to raid and burn every IHOP in North America. Americans, and possibly Canadians, will have real honest-to-goodness maple syrup for their pancakes and waffles."

But seriously, it seems that the warehouse in question was built to insure continuity in supply (read: price support and supply management) regardless of good or bad crop years.

My research, my Strategic Maple Syrup Supply research (hee, hee, hee--that's funny even in Canada) indicates that a warehouse was purchased by the Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers in 2008 and is already full (15,000,000 pounds or 23,000 barrels). Thus, there is unlikely to be an immediate supply contraction.

In 2010, an acturial study indicated that more than 40,000,000 pounds would be needed to prevent shortfalls due to the weather (and climate change, never, never forget climate change) and there is currently 36,000,000 pounds minus whatever was lost in the recent heist, stored in three warehouse factories, so there should be no immediate impact on prices or supply from the heist.

Given the French propensity for bureaucratic dirigisme, the world's Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve is in good hands despite the recent theft, which was probably committed by biker gangs and is probably headed for the United States via the indian reservations that straddle the Quebec-USA border.

Sleep soundly. Nobody can afford real maple syrup nowadays anyway.

But that global warming hoax angle is intriguing. If global warming isn't happening or won't be a problem why are Quebequers hoarding 40,000,000 pounds of maple syrup? That sounds like a lot to me. Maybe they realize that the stress on maple bush is going to continue into the foreseeable future and that they need really big stock of maple syrup in order to get them through the 7 or 70 or 700 or 7000 lean years ahead.

It's nice to see that some SOBs who believe in global warming are putting their money where their mouth is.

Yes, in a few years, New Hampshire and Vermont will be too warm for maple syrup production and Quebec will rule the world (of pancake syrup)! It's not just Al Gore putting his money where his mouth is. The "hoaxers" are investing big time to cover their asses.

And yet all your survivalist nutters are still worried about the Soviets, China, Zombies, or the Second Comingm and probably don't have any maple syrup reserves at all.

Time will tell, time will tell, but you should worry if Quebec farmers are preparing for Maplegeddon. These guys don't spend money (at least not their own) unless they know they are going to make money.
2012-08-31 09:07:56 AM  
1 votes:

kyrg: Phil Moskowitz: AlwaysRightBoy: French Canadians are not adorable.

This is entirely accurate, but it doesn't change the fact that the lower latitudes produce motor oil they sell as maple syrup.

Oh, you just made the list buddy boy!


why it's 110 % correct
2012-08-31 09:06:53 AM  
1 votes:
Yeah, subby, our criminals are real adorable - until they start hacking you up and mailing your body parts to political parties.

/never feed them after midnight
2012-08-31 08:22:44 AM  
1 votes:
maybe, i'm weird but i buy my syrup from the sugar bush directly, i don't want warehoused syrup, i want amber, and i want it fresh
2012-08-31 08:08:53 AM  
1 votes:
In Canada, first you gotta get the maple syrup. Then when you get the syrup, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.
2012-08-31 06:41:39 AM  
1 votes:

Neondistraction: They stole 10 million pounds of syrup? That's a rather impressive feat, considering the logistics required just to move that much weight, let alone to do it without anyone noticing until after the fact. That's a couple hundred trips even with a full size 18 wheeler.


it does make one wonder if there was a simple calculation, administrative or paperwork error.
2012-08-31 06:33:38 AM  
1 votes:
They stole 10 million pounds of syrup? That's a rather impressive feat, considering the logistics required just to move that much weight, let alone to do it without anyone noticing until after the fact. That's a couple hundred trips even with a full size 18 wheeler.
2012-08-31 05:56:17 AM  
1 votes:
If they catch these guys, they should get the chair.......THE COMFY CHAIR!
2012-08-31 05:47:34 AM  
1 votes:
That's a nice supply of pancake topping you have there. Would be a shame if anything... happened to it.
2012-08-31 02:40:32 AM  
1 votes:

unyon: BronyMedic: Is maple syrup really that expensive? Is it really worth that much?

Buying bulk, it works out to about $75/gallon for medium grade. Liquid gold. Is it worth it? There is no substitute, in my opinion.


Testify.
2012-08-31 02:11:46 AM  
1 votes:
He said it's very difficult to trace and track maple syrup, so catching an illegitimate seller could be a significant challenge.

Goddammit, man, we don't have time for your excuses!
2012-08-31 01:28:00 AM  
1 votes:
Is maple syrup really that expensive? Is it really worth that much?
 
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