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(Globe and Mail)   Thieves break into Quebec warehouse and steal $30M worth of... maple syrup. Geez Canada, even your crimes are adorable   (theglobeandmail.com) divider line 73
    More: Amusing, Geez Canada, Quebec, University of Guelph, Quebec warehouse  
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3131 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2012 at 5:36 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-31 12:10:04 AM
And delicious.
 
2012-08-31 12:11:27 AM
"global strategic maple syrup reserve"

Am I reading the Onion?
 
2012-08-31 12:36:00 AM

violentsalvation: "global strategic maple syrup reserve"

Am I reading the Onion?


We are holding the world together in ways you can't imagine up here. I'm not permitted to say much, but let's just say that after the apocalypse, breakfast is on us.
 
2012-08-31 01:13:05 AM
30 million dollars worth? That's what, about 3 gallons?

/the real sh*t is expensive as fark
 
2012-08-31 01:28:00 AM
Is maple syrup really that expensive? Is it really worth that much?
 
2012-08-31 01:39:28 AM
Ms. Granger Godbout said the theft shouldn't put the global supply of maple syrup at risk

Whew! I was about to go into full scale panic mode.
 
2012-08-31 01:42:19 AM
So today on Fark I learned that we have tiny spiders living in our faces and that there is a global strategic maple syrup reserve...I think my Jeopardy training is complete.
 
2012-08-31 02:11:46 AM
He said it's very difficult to trace and track maple syrup, so catching an illegitimate seller could be a significant challenge.

Goddammit, man, we don't have time for your excuses!
 
2012-08-31 02:17:03 AM

BronyMedic: Is maple syrup really that expensive? Is it really worth that much?


Buying bulk, it works out to about $75/gallon for medium grade. Liquid gold. Is it worth it? There is no substitute, in my opinion.
 
2012-08-31 02:40:32 AM

unyon: BronyMedic: Is maple syrup really that expensive? Is it really worth that much?

Buying bulk, it works out to about $75/gallon for medium grade. Liquid gold. Is it worth it? There is no substitute, in my opinion.


Testify.
 
2012-08-31 02:56:27 AM

violentsalvation: "global strategic maple syrup reserve"

Am I reading the Onion?


I will admit that I took a moment to Google the Globe & Mail just to be sure it wasn't the Canadian equivalent.
 
2012-08-31 05:38:46 AM

BronyMedic: Is maple syrup really that expensive? Is it really worth that much?


Yes and yes.
 
2012-08-31 05:47:34 AM
That's a nice supply of pancake topping you have there. Would be a shame if anything... happened to it.
 
2012-08-31 05:49:13 AM

unyon: We are holding the world together in ways you can't imagine up here. I'm not permitted to say much, but let's just say that after the apocalypse, breakfast is on us.


i16.photobucket.com

You know, I'm starting to warm up to the Canadians...
 
2012-08-31 05:50:24 AM

Tellingthem: So today on Fark I learned that we have tiny spiders living in our faces and that there is a global strategic maple syrup reserve...I think my Jeopardy training is complete.


I take it you didn't read the penis-killing thread?
 
2012-08-31 05:54:42 AM
www.fadingad.com
 
2012-08-31 05:56:17 AM
If they catch these guys, they should get the chair.......THE COMFY CHAIR!
 
2012-08-31 05:59:49 AM

GranoblasticMan: Tellingthem: So today on Fark I learned that we have tiny spiders living in our faces and that there is a global strategic maple syrup reserve...I think my Jeopardy training is complete.

I take it you didn't read the penis-killing thread?


Thanks I had finally managed to get that one out of my head :/
 
2012-08-31 06:03:34 AM
Most stolen food products in Quebec end up being sold to Longo's.
 
2012-08-31 06:33:38 AM
They stole 10 million pounds of syrup? That's a rather impressive feat, considering the logistics required just to move that much weight, let alone to do it without anyone noticing until after the fact. That's a couple hundred trips even with a full size 18 wheeler.
 
2012-08-31 06:37:53 AM

Neondistraction: They stole 10 million pounds of syrup? That's a rather impressive feat, considering the logistics required just to move that much weight, let alone to do it without anyone noticing until after the fact. That's a couple hundred trips even with a full size 18 wheeler.


was wondering about that, had to take a fleet of semis to haul all of that and they don't have any type of security there?
 
2012-08-31 06:41:39 AM

Neondistraction: They stole 10 million pounds of syrup? That's a rather impressive feat, considering the logistics required just to move that much weight, let alone to do it without anyone noticing until after the fact. That's a couple hundred trips even with a full size 18 wheeler.


it does make one wonder if there was a simple calculation, administrative or paperwork error.
 
2012-08-31 06:46:24 AM

Neondistraction: They stole 10 million pounds of syrup? That's a rather impressive feat, considering the logistics required just to move that much weight, let alone to do it without anyone noticing until after the fact. That's a couple hundred trips even with a full size 18 wheeler.


Eh. All it takes is a few Canadian whores and some garden hoses.
 
2012-08-31 06:49:54 AM
I'm sorry, Bruce. These boys get that syrup in 'em, they get all antsy in their pantsy.
 
2012-08-31 06:55:06 AM
mmm log cabin maple syrup
the official syrup of the homophobes
 
2012-08-31 06:59:11 AM
In other news, Canada's meth rated most delicious.
 
2012-08-31 07:10:32 AM
French Canadians are not adorable.

Maple syrup: pure is the only way to go. My brother in NH makes his own and he put's the love in the process.

/always has a big bottle for me when I visit.... Droooool
 
2012-08-31 07:12:59 AM

violentsalvation: "global strategic maple syrup reserve"

Am I reading the Onion?


I thought so too, so I googled, and came across this :

http://www.canada.com/life/Quebec+maple+syrup+producers+unsure+early+ h eat+will+impact+liquid+gold/6394573/story.html

In 2010, the federation did a study that showed that to deal with the unpredictable winter and spring temperatures and the havoc it was wreaking on prices and producers, they needed a "strategic reserve" of 40 million pounds of syrup.

Today, the federation has more than 36 million pounds stockpiled, and the new warehouse, which the federation has dubbed the Reserve strategique mondiale de sirop d'erable (the Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve) can hold more than 143 million pounds of syrup.
 
2012-08-31 07:17:40 AM

AlwaysRightBoy: French Canadians are not adorable.


This is entirely accurate, but it doesn't change the fact that the lower latitudes produce motor oil they sell as maple syrup.
 
2012-08-31 07:23:57 AM

BronyMedic: Is maple syrup really that expensive? Is it really worth that much?


I'll add to the chorus of yes and yes.

Depending on the year and the tree, it can take between 25 and 40 gallons of sap to boil down one gallon of syrup. Each tree, again depending on the temperature, the year, the time of year, and other factors, will produce from a trickle to a few gallons of sap per day. Each tree needs to be tapped each year and the taps removed at the end of the season. Trees can only be tapped until the buds start to open, at that time the flavor of the syrup degrades rapidly. Since weather is so variable, each season is a crapshoot.

If you've ever had real, pure Maple Syrup, you know there is no substitute. If you've ever run taps and boiled it down in the sugar shack, you appreciate the expense.
 
2012-08-31 07:37:11 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
Don't forget to cup the balls.
 
2012-08-31 07:40:41 AM
When that stuff hits the streets, the gangs will be having pancake breakfasts on every corner. The humanity.
 
2012-08-31 07:52:28 AM
Is that street value?
 
2012-08-31 07:57:44 AM
Holy Geeze, 30M? How big is the bottle, eh?
 
2012-08-31 07:58:09 AM
www.instituteofman.com
Wanted for questioning.
 
2012-08-31 08:05:15 AM
"Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve" would be a good Fark handle
 
2012-08-31 08:08:53 AM
In Canada, first you gotta get the maple syrup. Then when you get the syrup, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.
 
2012-08-31 08:10:45 AM
Roses are red and violets are purple.
 
2012-08-31 08:11:59 AM
Someone also stole 5000 pounds of potatoes yesterday. Guard the national bacon supply!
 
2012-08-31 08:22:44 AM
maybe, i'm weird but i buy my syrup from the sugar bush directly, i don't want warehoused syrup, i want amber, and i want it fresh
 
2012-08-31 08:23:21 AM

Thieves break into Quebec warehouse and steal $30M worth of... maple syrup.


They didn't steal it, they helped it secede.
 
2012-08-31 08:24:12 AM
Mmm. hot syrup.
 
2012-08-31 08:36:32 AM

BronyMedic: Is maple syrup really that expensive? Is it really worth that much?


Probably, especially since the 2012 harvesting season was rather short.

I'm lucky enough to know someone who makes it, and I still had to reserve my yearly supply ahead of time.
 
2012-08-31 08:38:36 AM
This is the perfect story to use the "Sappy" tag. Subby missed that one
 
2012-08-31 08:40:59 AM

unyon: violentsalvation: "global strategic maple syrup reserve"

Am I reading the Onion?

We are holding the world together in ways you can't imagine up here. I'm not permitted to say much, but let's just say that after the apocalypse, breakfast is on us.


As a card carrying member of the Vermont Maple Sugar makers association, I approve this message.
 
2012-08-31 08:45:28 AM

Phil Moskowitz: AlwaysRightBoy: French Canadians are not adorable.

This is entirely accurate, but it doesn't change the fact that the lower latitudes produce motor oil they sell as maple syrup.


Oh, you just made the list buddy boy!
 
2012-08-31 09:06:53 AM
Yeah, subby, our criminals are real adorable - until they start hacking you up and mailing your body parts to political parties.

/never feed them after midnight
 
2012-08-31 09:07:56 AM

kyrg: Phil Moskowitz: AlwaysRightBoy: French Canadians are not adorable.

This is entirely accurate, but it doesn't change the fact that the lower latitudes produce motor oil they sell as maple syrup.

Oh, you just made the list buddy boy!


why it's 110 % correct
 
2012-08-31 09:10:07 AM

unyon: BronyMedic: Is maple syrup really that expensive? Is it really worth that much?

Buying bulk, it works out to about $75/gallon for medium grade. Liquid gold. Is it worth it? There is no substitute, in my opinion.


That makes me feel better. I have a standing order for a gallon a year from a local, small scale producer. Grade A, light amber, middle-of-the-run Northwoods Ambrosia cost me $45 a gallon last February.

Sweet.
 
2012-08-31 09:11:29 AM

angrycrank: Yeah, subby, our criminals are real adorable - until they start hacking you up and mailing your body parts to political parties.

/never feed them after midnight


Homolka is/was pretty cute...
 
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