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(TMZ)   Funkadactyl pulled over for DUI, blows .20, offers officers a $10,000 bribe. Yeah I'd drink if I had to see Brodus Clay dance every night, too   (tmz.com) divider line 43
    More: Stupid, wwe superstar, Tampa International Airport  
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1745 clicks; posted to Sports » on 30 Aug 2012 at 2:07 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2012-08-30 11:55:29 AM  
Somebody better call her momma...to bail her out.
 
2012-08-30 12:19:12 PM  
THE WORLD'S ONLY FUNKADACTYL IN INCARERATION!
 
2012-08-30 12:27:47 PM  
I think they're going to need another Timmy.
 
2012-08-30 02:10:06 PM  
Missed by 3 tabs there, subs.
 
2012-08-30 02:10:19 PM  
Why the Sorts tab?
 
2012-08-30 02:13:20 PM  

Crewmannumber6: Why the Sorts tab?


Because fark you that's why....?
 
2012-08-30 02:17:37 PM  
This is EyeballKid with a very special message. If you're out drinking, and you suspect a professional wrestler is drinking at the same location, act immediately. Approach the wrestler carefully, and ask them if they know a good cab. It's likely they don't, as they travel frequently. If that is the case, go ahead and refer them to a good cab, maybe even write down the number of a cab, and -- most importantly -- make sure they know how to call for a cab. When professional wrestlers learn to call a cab when they've had too much to drink, you may be doing more than saving a life. You may just be saving their push.
 
2012-08-30 02:20:20 PM  
"You'd think they'd let her go after blowing 20, Monsoon"

"I believe that says she blew a point-two-zero."

"She didn't even finish then? Lock her away!"
 
2012-08-30 02:21:55 PM  
"Coincidentally, did you know that "Blowing 20" is how Jinder Mahal got his push?"

"Will you stop?"

"It's called "Making the rounds" or "Doing a HHH" in the locker room."
 
2012-08-30 02:24:41 PM  
Bobby_and_the_Gorilla, sometimes I think you're the only reason wrestling stories are greenlit on Fark. Bravo.
 
2012-08-30 02:25:15 PM  
"Brain, it says that she offered the cop a $10,000 bribe to let her go."

"Looks like there's ANOTHER person who got a bigger Wrestlemania bonus than JTG, Monsoon."

"Come on Brain, this is serious!"

"I know Monsoon, recently Cameron and Naiomi touching butts is about the best thing on RAW!"

"Well here's to that!"
 
2012-08-30 02:29:57 PM  
And, here with a dramatic reenactment of the night in question... Derpy Hooves.

imageshack.us 

Thank you, Derpy. -.-
 
2012-08-30 02:31:48 PM  
Why is this in the sports tab? Fake wrestling should be in entertainment.
 
2012-08-30 02:36:20 PM  

Nick Spiceyweiner: Why is this in the sports tab? Fake wrestling should be in entertainment.


j.wigflip.com
 
2012-08-30 02:38:38 PM  
Drunk is on a rooooollll...
 
2012-08-30 02:41:25 PM  
The cops were really confused when dancing children starting coming out of the woodwork as he dragged her out of the car. He switched off his lights and the kids scurried away.
 
2012-08-30 02:41:56 PM  

Bobby_and_The_Gorilla: "Brain, it says that she offered the cop a $10,000 bribe to let her go."

"Looks like there's ANOTHER person who got a bigger Wrestlemania bonus than JTG, Monsoon."


As much as I love a good fWc thread on a Friday...we are done here folks.

SHUT IT DOWN.
 
2012-08-30 02:49:18 PM  
/subby
//nice modmins even fixed my typo
///Somebody call my momma
 
2012-08-30 02:51:31 PM  
cdn.chud.com

tried to find a gif... didn't find a funny enough one.
 
2012-08-30 02:53:50 PM  

Gunny Highway: Nick Spiceyweiner: Why is this in the sports tab? Fake wrestling should be in entertainment.

[j.wigflip.com image 850x378]


A keyboard and monitor, you owe me those.

/+1
 
2012-08-30 02:55:10 PM  

Rwa2play: Gunny Highway: Nick Spiceyweiner: Why is this in the sports tab? Fake wrestling should be in entertainment.

[j.wigflip.com image 850x378]

A keyboard and monitor, you owe me those.

/+1


Shamelessly borrowed from FinFangFark
 
2012-08-30 03:04:08 PM  
Jeebus Christmas, is that a Mike Tyson tattoo on her?

ll-media.tmz.com

Watermarks are For Evah, Biatch . . .
 
2012-08-30 03:08:27 PM  
Whats the difference between offering to take care of it immediately, (paying the cop $10,000), or going through the system and paying $10,000 in court fees, lawyer fees, diversion, probation fees, UA fees, and reinstatement fees?

Seems that the cops behave like drug dealers "no, you don't give me the money, I just give you the ticket and you go pay that guy over there."
 
2012-08-30 03:12:07 PM  
I blame Hornswoggle
 
2012-08-30 03:12:45 PM  

Alphakronik: Whats the difference between offering to take care of it immediately, (paying the cop $10,000), or going through the system and paying $10,000 in court fees, lawyer fees, diversion, probation fees, UA fees, and reinstatement fees?


She doesnt lose her job if he takes the bribe.
 
2012-08-30 03:13:35 PM  

TheManofPA: I blame Hornswoggle


You spelled Miz wrong.
 
2012-08-30 03:13:41 PM  
botchedspot.com

Waiting for Impact to start.... Hopefully the Aces and Eights coverage will be replaced by a one hour Ass Off between Tara and Brooke Tessmacher.
 
2012-08-30 03:18:07 PM  

NotEric: [botchedspot.com image 850x346]

Waiting for Impact to start.... Hopefully the Aces and Eights coverage will be replaced by a one hour Ass Off between Tara and Brooke Tessmacher.


i107.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-30 03:21:36 PM  
We wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

/also B&G you never cease to make me laughter OL
 
2012-08-30 03:23:31 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: We wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

/also B&G you never cease to make me laughter OL


B&G makes Monday worth it, Raw sure as hell hasn't.
 
2012-08-30 03:28:50 PM  

rebelpride644: Igor Jakovsky: We wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

/also B&G you never cease to make me laughter OL

B&G makes Monday worth it, Raw sure as hell hasn't.


Raw hasent been that bad recently.
 
2012-08-30 03:29:49 PM  
It just occurred to me that she was the dumbass on Tough Enough last year that was eliminated because she didn't know shiat about the business. She told Steve her favorite match was Melina v. Alicia Fox and he had this "Do gonna get murdered" look on his face.

If they do bring her back, they need to play off her airheadedness.

/And my favorite all time match was Kelly Kelly v. Eve Torres
 
2012-08-30 03:45:19 PM  

Gunny Highway: rebelpride644: Igor Jakovsky: We wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

/also B&G you never cease to make me laughter OL

B&G makes Monday worth it, Raw sure as hell hasn't.

Raw hasent been that bad recently.


Monday was fun because of the Kane and DBD skit.

This half heel hipster d-bag Punk shiate is killing me though.
 
2012-08-30 03:46:44 PM  

rebelpride644: This half heel hipster d-bag Punk shiate is killing me though.


Agreed. I think he is playing himself at the moment.
 
2012-08-30 03:48:45 PM  

Gunny Highway: THE WORLD'S ONLY FUNKADACTYL IN INCARERATION!


No there's two Funkadactyls, so just half the world's Funkadactyl's are in captivity.
 
2012-08-30 03:50:47 PM  

Gunny Highway: rebelpride644: This half heel hipster d-bag Punk shiate is killing me though.

Agreed. I think he is playing himself at the moment.


Yep.

When people like characters that are more true to life, it's generally because the more real characters have some redeeming quality, or are kind of cool. No one likes a smarmy hipster douchebag.
 
2012-08-30 04:17:09 PM  
Watch Brodus get squashed because of this. I'm assuming they're still following the "If someone on your team fails, you all fail" mentality.
 
2012-08-30 04:20:30 PM  

Masterstuff: Watch Brodus get squashed because of this. I'm assuming they're still following the "If someone on your team fails, you all fail" mentality.


www.wrestlingline.org
 
2012-08-30 04:56:39 PM  
nmsb:

Friend of mine went to the Gamestop convention around here last weekend. He took a picture with Ziggles and the MITB case. 1. The case is so freaking beat up, dents and scratches and all. 2. I'm sad I didn't go because Ziggles was one of the main reasons I kept watching.

end nmsb.

Gunny Highway: Masterstuff: Watch Brodus get squashed because of this. I'm assuming they're still following the "If someone on your team fails, you all fail" mentality.

[www.wrestlingline.org image 308x390]


Since the tag belts are one step above jobbing and two steps above being on Superstars, and also considering prior to the tag belts he was rising in the midcard almost to top card, I'm guessing you're adding to my point?

/You're right. They didn't torpedo Kofi as much as they could.
//Disclaimer: I want the tag division to be much better than it currently is.
///Right now the belts are just HHHs leg warmers
 
2012-08-30 05:03:15 PM  

Masterstuff: Since the tag belts are one step above jobbing and two steps above being on Superstars, and also considering prior to the tag belts he was rising in the midcard almost to top card, I'm guessing you're adding to my point?

/You're right. They didn't torpedo Kofi as much as they could.
//Disclaimer: I want the tag division to be much better than it currently is.
///Right now the belts are just HHHs leg warmers


Every six months it seems like they are getting ready to recommit to the tag division and it never happens.

If they would get over themselves and commit to having KOW get together as The Kings of Wrestling with all the swagger an experienced and successful tag team should have they would have something to build on.
 
2012-08-30 05:04:52 PM  

Gunny Highway: Masterstuff: Since the tag belts are one step above jobbing and two steps above being on Superstars, and also considering prior to the tag belts he was rising in the midcard almost to top card, I'm guessing you're adding to my point?

/You're right. They didn't torpedo Kofi as much as they could.
//Disclaimer: I want the tag division to be much better than it currently is.
///Right now the belts are just HHHs leg warmers

Every six months it seems like they are getting ready to recommit to the tag division and it never happens.

If they would get over themselves and commit to having KOW get together as The Kings of Wrestling with all the swagger an experienced and successful tag team should have they would have something to build on.


But... that would mean acknowledging there are other organizations in existence besides WWE. VINCE IS ALL! ALL IS VINCE! EAT HIS ICOPRO-LADEN SHIAT AND LOVE IT!
 
2012-08-30 05:57:44 PM  

bluorangefyre: Gunny Highway: THE WORLD'S ONLY FUNKADACTYL IN INCARERATION!

No there's two Funkadactyls, so just half the world's Funkadactyl's are in captivity.


I think he meant that she was the only Funkadactyl that was incarcerated.
 
2012-08-30 06:10:11 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Gunny Highway: Masterstuff: Since the tag belts are one step above jobbing and two steps above being on Superstars, and also considering prior to the tag belts he was rising in the midcard almost to top card, I'm guessing you're adding to my point?

/You're right. They didn't torpedo Kofi as much as they could.
//Disclaimer: I want the tag division to be much better than it currently is.
///Right now the belts are just HHHs leg warmers

Every six months it seems like they are getting ready to recommit to the tag division and it never happens.

If they would get over themselves and commit to having KOW get together as The Kings of Wrestling with all the swagger an experienced and successful tag team should have they would have something to build on.

But... that would mean acknowledging there are other organizations in existence besides WWE. VINCE IS ALL! ALL IS VINCE! EAT HIS ICOPRO-LADEN SHIAT AND LOVE IT!


That's the major problem. These characters didn't exsist before they show up on WWE programming...well according to Vince. So though there are hundreds of thousands who knew Bryan Danielson...all be damned, he never existed. He is Daniel Bryan, because it's easier for kids to remember that name, and for Vince to trademark for toys and games.

It's obvious Punk fought tooth and nail to get where he is, but the problem is now the neutered "pipebomb" Punk floundered, and now the emo douche guy isn't getting over. I just rewatched the whole summer of Punk sequence, and it was painfully obvious then that fans were clamouring for something new, but Vince and HHH had to spin it in an 'Ole reliable way.

While all this happens, they aren't pushing the younger guys, so far so that the younger guys get older. Ziggles is 32, Kofi 31 and DBD is 31. It was funny that in the past, the death of the Monday Night Wars was largely attributed to very older talent refusing to put over and help young guys...and now the new problem is young talent just being comfortable with their paychecks and living with their position, because they watch how the soap writers kill their characters so much so that they can't even get good deals in the indies for appearances.
 
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