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(Slate)   Could internet porn be changing the very nature of humanity?   (slate.com) divider line 232
    More: Interesting, Jacob Weisberg, human natures, porn  
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20604 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Aug 2012 at 12:51 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-30 12:23:05 PM
1. Take the top off the pineapple. You can pretend you're scalping it, if you're into scalping fetishes.
2. With a good cutting implement, like a fillet knife, carve into the top of the pineapple. Make a circle.
3. Extract the middle. It's very tough and doesn't have a lot of flavor. If you're a lady, keep this part and make sure it's whole.
4. Stick your appendage into the pineapple. Ladies you can use the middle piece you extracted in step 3.

Now this is the important part. You're gonna want to leave it there for a little while. The juices of the pineapple have softening agents, which will increase your stamina. It might sting a bit after a while, but the end result is worth it. While doing so, I recommend checking out some great videos at pineappleporn.com. Dole.com also has some good multimedia to get you in the mood. Sometimes I like to tie the pineapple to the bed for being naughty. Sometimes my wife wears a pineapple costume, but it's really hard to manuever and it's just not the same.

When you're ready, it's simple. You just fark the everloving shiat out of that pineapple. Don't be afraid to get rough. Spanking is OK but they are pretty tough and your hand might hurt after a while. Pineapples love to be on top. Now, having a few backup pineapples is acceptable, sometimes the thing will just break apart, sometimes you just want a 2am booty call. Sometimes you're just a little hungry. If you're out of fruit, do NOT use coconuts. Seriously. Bad things will happen. Plus, that shiat is just WRONG.
 
2012-08-30 12:33:32 PM
I wanted to give a midget A2M before I even knew what internet porn was.
 
2012-08-30 12:53:24 PM
Silly submitter! Porn stars aren't people!
 
2012-08-30 12:53:31 PM
God, I hope so. Something needs to.
 
2012-08-30 12:54:01 PM
Could internet porn be changing the very nature of humanity?

No.

Could internet porn be changingreaffirming the very nature of humanity?

Yes.
 
2012-08-30 12:54:11 PM
Let me get back to you in 5 minutes and don't open the door.
 
2012-08-30 12:54:21 PM
Of course it is. It is teaching men that . . .
wait, brb.
 
2012-08-30 12:54:51 PM

bdub77: Pineapples love to be on top.


Ok, I laughed there.
 
2012-08-30 12:55:10 PM
Uh, no. The internet itself is what changed the very nature of humanity... for the worse. The world was a much better place when everyone was grossly uninformed.
 
2012-08-30 12:55:24 PM
It's a good question.

*fapfafapfapfap*

zzzzzzzz

....

What was the question again?
 
2012-08-30 12:55:33 PM
Are boys starting to be born with one arm noticeably larger than the other?
 
2012-08-30 12:56:12 PM
Well, we are getting stronger in one arm.
 
2012-08-30 12:56:20 PM
DNRTFA but, in all seriousness, I think the easy availability of pr0n kills motivation for some people to go out and find a relationship. After all, that's hard work - learning social skills, grooming, leaving your basement, etc. If you choose pr0n over real people, you are taking yourself out of the gene pool (for better or worse).
 
2012-08-30 12:56:20 PM
Wait...There's PORN on the internet? Does anyone else know about this?
 
2012-08-30 12:57:24 PM
It sure changed my nature.

/just ask my wife
 
2012-08-30 12:58:36 PM

Three-Fifty: DNRTFA


It's actually a video, and I don't feel like watching some old fart ramble on about kids these days, his lawn, clouds, and how he never gets laid anymore.
 
2012-08-30 12:59:48 PM
Changing? No.
Revealing and enabling? Absolutely.
 
2012-08-30 12:59:51 PM
I stopped for searching for porn when I found myfreecams. Best goddamn site on the internets.
 
2012-08-30 01:00:29 PM
I just fire up 7 the hard way with Angel Long to get the wife in the mood.

Hot scene!
 
2012-08-30 01:00:34 PM
yes, it's depleting our bank accounts. $19.95/month for porn isn't cheap!
 
2012-08-30 01:00:42 PM
I predict that comments in this thread will be entirely reasonable and well thought out.
 
2012-08-30 01:01:44 PM

ISO15693: I predict that comments in this thread will be entirely reasonable and well thought out.


So, to be fair, they'll match the topic.
 
2012-08-30 01:02:24 PM
Defiled the sex toy? Is that a bad thing?
 
2012-08-30 01:02:45 PM

bdub77: While doing so, I recommend checking out some great videos at pineappleporn.com. Dole.com also has some good multimedia to get you in the mood


Is it wrong that I actually googled pineappleporn.com and was disappointed that no such site exists?
 
2012-08-30 01:02:49 PM
I don't know about all of humanity. But, if the 12 year old me had a magic box in his room with 24/7 access to every type of porn imaginable I would have turned out a much different person.

Also, I would probably look like this...

images.dailytech.com
 
2012-08-30 01:03:15 PM

GranoblasticMan: Three-Fifty: DNRTFA

It's actually a video, and I don't feel like watching some old fart ramble on about kids these days, his lawn, clouds, and how he never gets laid anymore listening to someone who is way smarter than me because it makes me insecure about my already crap intellectual skills. Plus, I rely on internet porn for the very meaning of my life.


ftfy
 
2012-08-30 01:03:20 PM
Somehow I read that headline the first time and skipped the word "changing". Probably much more accurate that way.
 
2012-08-30 01:03:55 PM

Three-Fifty: DNRTFA but, in all seriousness, I think the easy availability of pr0n kills motivation for some people to go out and find a relationship. After all, that's hard work - learning social skills, grooming, leaving your basement, etc. If you choose pr0n over real people, you are taking yourself out of the gene pool (for better or worse).


Paying a camgirl is a relationship of sorts.

But yeah, I would agree with this. But I was terrible at getting laid and forming relationships anyway. So now I just spank and move on with my day instead of fretting about it.

I'm still social though, not a shut in.
 
2012-08-30 01:04:02 PM

ISO15693: I predict that comments in this thread will be entirely reasonable and well thought out.


Just like the link?
 
2012-08-30 01:04:09 PM

bdub77: 1. Take the top off the pineapple. You can pretend you're scalping it, if you're into scalping fetishes.
2. With a good cutting implement, like a fillet knife, carve into the top of the pineapple. Make a circle.
3. Extract the middle. It's very tough and doesn't have a lot of flavor. If you're a lady, keep this part and make sure it's whole.
4. Stick your appendage into the pineapple. Ladies you can use the middle piece you extracted in step 3.

Now this is the important part. You're gonna want to leave it there for a little while. The juices of the pineapple have softening agents, which will increase your stamina. It might sting a bit after a while, but the end result is worth it. While doing so, I recommend checking out some great videos at pineappleporn.com. Dole.com also has some good multimedia to get you in the mood. Sometimes I like to tie the pineapple to the bed for being naughty. Sometimes my wife wears a pineapple costume, but it's really hard to manuever and it's just not the same.

When you're ready, it's simple. You just fark the everloving shiat out of that pineapple. Don't be afraid to get rough. Spanking is OK but they are pretty tough and your hand might hurt after a while. Pineapples love to be on top. Now, having a few backup pineapples is acceptable, sometimes the thing will just break apart, sometimes you just want a 2am booty call. Sometimes you're just a little hungry. If you're out of fruit, do NOT use coconuts. Seriously. Bad things will happen. Plus, that shiat is just WRONG.


What about watermelon? I find it's easier to draw the face of James Carville on a watermelon with a sharpie. Also, will I be considered a racist if I fark a watermelon? Even a square watermelon?
 
2012-08-30 01:04:19 PM

clevershark: Are boys starting to be born with one arm noticeably larger than the other?


i682.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-30 01:04:47 PM
More porn, less crotchfruits.
 
2012-08-30 01:04:47 PM

feralbaby: ftfy


Cool, thanks. I don't know how I always make that mistake.
 
2012-08-30 01:05:13 PM
are u saying that PEOPLE -R- GAY??
 
2012-08-30 01:05:17 PM

Three-Fifty: DNRTFA but, in all seriousness, I think the easy availability of pr0n kills motivation for some people to go out and find a relationship. After all, that's hard work - learning social skills, grooming, leaving your basement, etc. If you choose pr0n over real people, you are taking yourself out of the gene pool (for better or worse).


Usually it's for the better.
 
2012-08-30 01:05:50 PM
Much like royalty being ordained by God, the falacy of love and sex being intrinsically linked needs to be left behind.
Change is good.
 
2012-08-30 01:06:30 PM
 
2012-08-30 01:06:52 PM
Didn't read the article, but is it someone else who is mortified that people are having sex strictly for pleasure?
 
2012-08-30 01:07:03 PM

CravenMorehead: Somehow I read that headline the first time and skipped the word "changing". Probably much more accurate that way.


This, except the polar opposite.

/ruff..
 
2012-08-30 01:07:06 PM
Dunno about the nature of humanity, but It sure decimated the Sears catalog mailing list
 
2012-08-30 01:07:43 PM

bdub77: 1. Take the top off the pineapple. You can pretend you're scalping it, if you're into scalping fetishes.
2. With a good cutting implement, like a fillet knife, carve into the top of the pineapple. Make a circle.
3. Extract the middle. It's very tough and doesn't have a lot of flavor. If you're a lady, keep this part and make sure it's whole.
4. Stick your appendage into the pineapple. Ladies you can use the middle piece you extracted in step 3.

Now this is the important part. You're gonna want to leave it there for a little while. The juices of the pineapple have softening agents, which will increase your stamina. It might sting a bit after a while, but the end result is worth it. While doing so, I recommend checking out some great videos at pineappleporn.com. Dole.com also has some good multimedia to get you in the mood. Sometimes I like to tie the pineapple to the bed for being naughty. Sometimes my wife wears a pineapple costume, but it's really hard to manuever and it's just not the same.

When you're ready, it's simple. You just fark the everloving shiat out of that pineapple. Don't be afraid to get rough. Spanking is OK but they are pretty tough and your hand might hurt after a while. Pineapples love to be on top. Now, having a few backup pineapples is acceptable, sometimes the thing will just break apart, sometimes you just want a 2am booty call. Sometimes you're just a little hungry. If you're out of fruit, do NOT use coconuts. Seriously. Bad things will happen. Plus, that shiat is just WRONG.


Not sure if that is original, but I don't care. That was 100% PURE GOLD!!! I have everybody in the office looking at me trying to figure out why I was laughin so hard I couldn't breathe...thank god I finished my coffee already or you would owe me a new keyboard AND a new screen...
 
2012-08-30 01:07:56 PM

ISO15693: I predict that comments in this thread will be entirely reasonable and well thought out.


You are a puritan, sex-fearing, self-hating man/woman who is a total puritan, and you totally hate yourself. And you need to get laid. And everyone hates you.
 
2012-08-30 01:08:20 PM
 
2012-08-30 01:08:48 PM
I hate to admit it, but I kind of agree with him.

I have nothing against porn; I occasionally watch it (usually with a partner or sometimes on my own for shiats and giggles) and I can honestly say it hasn't negatively affected my sex life in any way, it may have actually improved it slightly.

But, I only started watching it with any regularity just before I was 20 years old, well past the time when I was developing my understanding of what sex would mean to me and how I viewed it as part of a relationship. If I had started watching porn when I was say 10 or 11 (which is, I think, the usual age for kids to become genuinely curious about sex) and became a regular user I could see it having a severe affect on my sexual development.

I don't think it should be banned or anything, but if/when I have children I'm going to use every tool in the arsenal to make sure I monitor their internet usage. Kids will be naturally curious and they'll eventually see some porn as they go through their formative years (I saw my first at 10 when I was away at a soccer tournament and someone ordered it on pay-per-view) but I don't want my 18 year old kid growing up to only be able to get off on whatever weird shiat their porn addiction has led them to in order to still get aroused.

We certainly didn't evolve to have perpetual access to attractive people farking at our very fingertips, 24 hours a day, seven days a week and I can honestly see people developing a serious inability to actually sexually connect with other human beings if they grow up with porn being their framework for how people are intimate with each other.

Meh, maybe I'm just talking out of my butt here, but who knows.

bdub77: 1. Take the top off the pineapple. You can pretend you're scalping it, if you're into scalping fetishes.
2. With a good cutting implement, like a fillet knife, carve into the top of the pineapple. Make a circle.
3. Extract the middle. It's very tough and doesn't have a lot of flavor. If you're a lady, keep this part and make sure it's whole.
4. Stick your appendage into the pineapple. Ladies you can use the middle piece you extracted in step 3

Now this is the important part...


That was horrifically wonderful. +1 to you.
 
2012-08-30 01:10:08 PM

SkunkWerks: Could internet porn be changing the very nature of humanity?

No.

Could internet porn be threatening the sex-provider monopolies enjoyed by women and religion?

Yes.


/FTFY
 
2012-08-30 01:10:15 PM
The implication with questions like that is always that the change is bad.

Why do we assume this? Perhaps the changes in humanity caused by porn will be overall good. Look at the current trends

1) Sexual assault/rape rates are down substantially over the past 15 years
2) Teen pregnancy rates are dropping
3) Age of first sexual encounter are rising.
4) Age of marriage continues to increase

Are these due to porn? No idea, but the availability of nudie pics to 15 year old boys is probably not a bad thing in the end. Yes, they're going to spank the monkey to them. This harms nobody- you can't get someone pregnant, you can't catch an STD, and you aren't forcing someone to do something they don't want. If internet porn gives kids enough jollies to stop with the actual sex then it might well be a good thing for humanity.

Change is good- bring on the boobies.
 
2012-08-30 01:10:24 PM

zarberg: Didn't read the article, but is it someone else who is mortified that people are having sex strictly for pleasure?


Actually, Martin Amis is a pretty great author who has never shied away from the topic in his books. But go on with your knee-jerk defensiveness over your internet porn use. It's not at all obvious. And read a little now and then.
 
2012-08-30 01:10:43 PM

miss diminutive: Meh, maybe I'm just talking out of my butt


which website?
 
2012-08-30 01:10:54 PM
if I lived in a society that wasn't deathly afraid of sex and naked humans, it might make things easier and lubricate the mating process. Instead we have public nudity laws, religious fundies and the like saying those things are bad. So, porn fills in the holes, all the holes whether they be small and tight or large and spacious. I for one, speaking as a member of the human race, am not put off by the physical form in all its curvaceous beauty and never will be jerked off my sexual interest no matter how much the opposition grunts sweats and moans about the easy and compliant availability of sexual contact. I would prefer they spend their time doing more natural things like rolling in the hay, studying birds and bees, doing personal physical maintenance such as getting a facial or even personal conveyance maintenance like finding a decent mechanic and getting a rim job or blowing off some steam.

This was a coun try built on a foundation of many freedoms, one being freedom of selection. Once we can all get together, hold hands, and swing together while gazing lovingly at that beautiful french girl holding the worlds first flesh colored light, we will truly know we are in the land of milk and honey.
 
2012-08-30 01:11:52 PM
Porn taught me that plumbers, salesmen and pizza delivery guys get laid all the time.
Also that some rap and hip hop artists are ripping off porn music for their beats.
 
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