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(SFGate)   Don't you just hate it when baggage handlers remove the sex toy from your luggage, cover it with grease and tape it to the top of your bag?   (sfgate.com ) divider line
    More: Followup, baggage handlers  
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11941 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Aug 2012 at 12:26 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



138 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2012-08-30 08:57:42 AM  
That depends. Did I tip them extra to do that?
 
2012-08-30 08:58:33 AM  
Much more discreet

s3.jspenguin.org
 
2012-08-30 08:58:34 AM  
So if it did happen, will that mean we get the security cam video of a dildo strapped to a suitcase at some airport? 'Cause that'd be funny as hell.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2012-08-30 09:03:54 AM  
media.giantbomb.com
That ain't grease. It's Giggity Giggity Goo.
 
2012-08-30 09:16:07 AM  
Baggage handlers are usually hard on the luggage but they would never do anything like that.
 
2012-08-30 09:17:38 AM  
No actual terrorist were harmed in this prank.
 
2012-08-30 09:41:49 AM  
How would the baggage handlers know they were gay? Unless they had more specifically "incriminating" stuff in their luggage.

And man up, please.
 
2012-08-30 09:44:26 AM  
I would wash that thing off because it's probably been used. In fact just get a new one.
 
2012-08-30 09:56:29 AM  

Diogenes: How would the baggage handlers know they were gay? Unless they had more specifically "incriminating" stuff in their luggage.

And man up, please.


From my redlit article the other day:


The lawsuit says "Because of the fact that the sex toy was contained in the bag of a male, and because the employee(s) responsible knew that the bag belonged to a male due to the name tag attached to the bag and the male clothing contained in the bag, there is a high likelihood that these egregious actions were directed towards [the] Plaintiffs because they are homosexual and because they are males."

/it was from the Sun so take it for what it's worth
 
2012-08-30 09:59:16 AM  
Are you kidding?  That's the only way I can find my luggage.
 
2012-08-30 10:09:43 AM  

AlwaysRightBoy: From my redlit article the other day:


I'd say possible, but not probable. But at the end of day, not provable. Frivilous.

Don't get me wrong...I would have made hell for the airline/airport to the best of my abilities, but this suit sounds silly.
 
2012-08-30 10:11:22 AM  

brap: Are you kidding?  That's the only way I can find my luggage.


This. And it makes sure that the handlers don't open my bag.
 
Pud
2012-08-30 10:29:15 AM  
I always keep one of them tied to the antenna om my car so I can find it easier in the mall parking lot
 
2012-08-30 10:42:59 AM  
When I fly, I have a suitcase dedicated to nothing but greasy sex toys.
 
2012-08-30 11:03:30 AM  

Diogenes: AlwaysRightBoy: From my redlit article the other day:

I'd say possible, but not probable. But at the end of day, not provable. Frivilous.

Don't get me wrong...I would have made hell for the airline/airport to the best of my abilities, but this suit sounds silly.


Definitely a stretch on their part.
 
2012-08-30 11:43:26 AM  
Maybe security thought it was a dildo bomb.
 
2012-08-30 12:01:39 PM  

Godscrack: dildo bomb


*starts patent application*
 
2012-08-30 12:28:48 PM  
Hate? No! I love free money.
 
2012-08-30 12:31:21 PM  
So in this case, it wasn't "a dildo"... it was in fact "their dildo"...
 
2012-08-30 12:34:07 PM  
that's what you get for trying to smuggle weapons of ass destruction on a plane.
 
2012-08-30 12:36:43 PM  
This sounds like the type of prank a gay man would play on other gay men.
 
2012-08-30 12:36:51 PM  

Diogenes: Godscrack: dildo bomb

*starts patent application*


*starts writing lyrics and recruiting band members*
 
2012-08-30 12:40:18 PM  
Was I wrong to do that?
 
2012-08-30 12:45:03 PM  
img440.imageshack.us

Who you calling a baggage handler?
 
2012-08-30 12:45:13 PM  
"a private sex toy"

As opposed to say, a public sex toy?

Can somebody please explain to me why our post-puritanical attitudes towards sex oddly require us to use an abundance of adjectives to describe objects we fear than are either necessary or even valid?
 
2012-08-30 12:45:58 PM  

FriarReb98: So if it did happen, will that mean we get the security cam video of a dildo strapped to a suitcase at some airport? 'Cause that'd be funny as hell.


United is claiming that these guys are full of crap, and there's no basis for the allegation. In an airport full of cameras, I'm thinking they wouldn't have made that statement unless they checked the tapes, and can't find anything to back up this story. I mean, they aren't protecting pilots or executives, just a few baggage handlers. Corporate would have thrown them under the bus in a second.
 
2012-08-30 12:48:22 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: Diogenes: AlwaysRightBoy: From my redlit article the other day:

I'd say possible, but not probable. But at the end of day, not provable. Frivilous.

Don't get me wrong...I would have made hell for the airline/airport to the best of my abilities, but this suit sounds silly.

Definitely a stretch on their part.


Don't know, depends on how big the private sex toy was.
 
2012-08-30 12:48:34 PM  

SkunkWerks: "a private sex toy"

As opposed to say, a public sex toy?


Or a major sex toy.
 
2012-08-30 12:48:38 PM  

devildog123: United is claiming that these guys are full of crap, and there's no basis for the allegation. In an airport full of cameras, I'm thinking they wouldn't have made that statement unless they checked the tapes, and can't find anything to back up this story.


Or weren't planning on withholding or erasing them, at any rate.

devildog123: I mean, they aren't protecting pilots or executives, just a few baggage handlers.


And a company image, and a stock price, etc., and so on...

I dunno if it's true either, but there's certainly enough room for it to be, I'd say.
 
2012-08-30 12:48:59 PM  
I don't know... Maybe I'm just getting disillusioned lately because of some of the LGBT attention whores who've pulled pranks in the past only to set the civil rights movement back another 10 years, but the circumstances of this accusation just seem contrived. How did the baggage handler even know that there would be a dildo in there?
 
2012-08-30 12:49:09 PM  
There is a sure fire way to make sure your luggage is not tampered with.

1. Legally buy a gun. A starter pistol is fine. Ammo is not needed.
2. Make sure to have all the permit issues ironed out at your destination.
3. Look up the regulations for packing a gun in checked luggage. Follow them to the letter.
4. When you check your bags, make sure they know you checked a gun. Get the appropriate paperwork. Declare the checked gun.

Your baggage will be handled with kid gloves. The NRA has done a LOT of work to make sure its members can travel with their guns unmolested. Use this to your advantage.

If those gay men had checked a gun with their sex toy, this would not have happened.
 
2012-08-30 12:49:41 PM  
Why do people travel on planes with those things???

Can you not make do with your hand or some re-purposed object until you make it home??? Do they not have sex shops where you are going??

Someone explain this to me because I have always wondered.

/Thank you in advance.
//Invents disposable sex toy to sell in SkyMall catalog.
 
2012-08-30 12:50:18 PM  
If you're that embarrassed by having that out in public, maybe you shouldn't bring your sex toys with you on public transportation. You're both males, I assume you both have penises, you probably can get by for some time without needing sex toys.
 
2012-08-30 12:50:30 PM  
Given that United has been spending its time recently convincing the world that it's run by complete scumbags, I wouldn't put it past them. Then again it was probably just a baggage handler looking in the bag for something to steal.
 
2012-08-30 12:50:44 PM  

macadamnut: SkunkWerks: "a private sex toy"

As opposed to say, a public sex toy?

Or a major sex toy.


If you want one everyone can enjoy, you'll probably just want a general sex toy.
 
2012-08-30 12:51:07 PM  
Oh lighten up Francii
 
2012-08-30 12:51:37 PM  
Boeing Maintenance Manual 737

Proper Method for Opening a stuck or Jammed Forward Cargo Door.

1. Establish that the door is actually jammed or stuck. If there are refugees inside the cargo door holding the door shut, please refer to Proper Method for Getting Refugees out of the Forward Cargo Bay. (Protip: It involves flying the plane at 30,000 feet for at least an hour.)

2. Carefully locate the jammed area of the cargo door. Apply a well greased (AFPN 134-7843, Lube, Aircraft, Greasy, Slick) vibrating tool to the jammed area. The vibrating tool must not be allowed to vibrate above the setting of "Serious Arousal". Damage to the airframe will occur with vibrators set on "Blow Her Sexy Mind".

3. The door should swing open. If not, ask one of the refugees in side to give it a push.

4. Return the tool to it's proper location. Only you can prevent FOD.

5. If the door does not open, please order another Boeing 737.
 
2012-08-30 12:52:26 PM  

IAmRight: If you're that embarrassed by having that out in public, maybe you shouldn't bring your sex toys with you on public transportation.


...it was a private sex toy. The baggage handlers clearly should have known better when they saw it that this particular sex toy was not for public consumption.

They were incompetent.
 
2012-08-30 12:53:32 PM  
I doubt it's going to be a baggage handler - they usually get closed bags and most people don't give a sh*t about what's in your bag to the point that they'd go through it and do that. Could be a TSA person though, since they actually do go through bags.

If it's a vibrating one, should they say that they put it on the outside so no one mistook it for a weapon?
 
2012-08-30 12:53:54 PM  
I am imagining this done by the ape from the american tourister ads
 
2012-08-30 12:53:56 PM  
A search for "public sex toy" reveals this story [NSFW, duh]
 
2012-08-30 12:53:57 PM  
It's even worse when they imply ownership of the sex toy.

/didn't read the farking thread
/guessing this is the fifth Fight Club reference so far
 
2012-08-30 12:54:09 PM  

Diogenes: How would the baggage handlers know they were gay? Unless they had more specifically "incriminating" stuff in their luggage.

And man up, please.


Be nice. I, too, would need extensive psychotherapy if I saw a sex toy taped to my suitcase.
 
2012-08-30 12:54:23 PM  
[analintruder.jpg]
 
2012-08-30 12:55:04 PM  

UberDave: Baggage handlers are usually hard on the luggage but they would never do anything like that.


Sounds to me like the luggage was hard on them.
 
2012-08-30 12:55:36 PM  

Diogenes: I'd say possible, but not probable. But at the end of day, not provable. Frivilous.


You can't prove the toy was removed from the bag while under the airlines control, defaced, and then displayed publicly?

Maybe you can't prove that it was a bias crime, but that in no way makes it defensible or forgivable. The airline has no business rummaging through people's luggage. Actual damages might be minimal, but if there was ever a case that deserves punitive damages, this is it.

If you want to check luggage and not worry about anything getting stolen, buy a cheap handgun and pack it inside a larger bag, and declare it when you check the bag. A bag with a declared firearm gets special handling through the whole process and it WILL NOT be opened, lost, or stolen.
 
2012-08-30 12:55:53 PM  

Sensei Can You See: Be nice. I, too, would need extensive psychotherapy if I saw a sex toy taped to my suitcase.


I probably would just be pissed about having to get new luggage.

/odds are they will never run into the people they were on the plane with again in their lives
 
2012-08-30 12:56:47 PM  

clevershark: A search for "public sex toy" reveals this story [NSFW, duh]


*rolls over for URL*

BOOKMARK!
 
2012-08-30 12:57:37 PM  

clyph: The airline has no business rummaging through people's luggage. Actual damages might be minimal, but if there was ever a case that deserves punitive damages, this is it.


The TSA is the organization that rummages through people's luggage. Baggage handlers don't give a sh*t about your property.
 
2012-08-30 12:58:26 PM  

IAmRight: If you're that embarrassed by having that out in public, maybe you shouldn't bring your sex toys with you on public transportation. You're both males, I assume you both have penises, you probably can get by for some time without needing sex toys.


Luggage on public transportation is now considered public domain? Wow!!! I'm off to the airport
 
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