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(Newsnet5)   "I couldn't get it over my rear, and I couldn't zip it up, I couldn't use it at all." Disgruntled customer discovers she's not quite fit enough for Starfleet   (newsnet5.com) divider line 46
    More: Obvious, Hinckley, Starfleet, Star Trek, Vivian Hargett  
•       •       •

6599 clicks; posted to Geek » on 30 Aug 2012 at 8:05 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-08-30 12:44:40 AM  
See, this kind of thing you DON'T want posted on Facebook.

You were too fat for a lycra costume for fat people.
 
2012-08-30 01:34:00 AM  
It takes a big woman to admit you're not cut out for star fleet command.
 
2012-08-30 07:24:17 AM  
Set phasers to 'go on a diet'
 
2012-08-30 08:13:54 AM  
The average Trekker has no use for a medium-sized belt costume.
 
2012-08-30 08:14:35 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

Darmok and Jalad at the all you can eat buffet. Shaka when the zipper would not go up.
 
2012-08-30 08:22:05 AM  

Cthulhu11: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 708x541]

Darmok and Jalad at the all you can eat buffet. Shaka when the zipper would not go up.


Damn, that's good commentin'!
 
2012-08-30 08:23:04 AM  
"Make it pho."
lh4.googleusercontent.com
 
2012-08-30 08:26:03 AM  
I'm pretty sure Star Fleet would have a physical fitness requirement.
 
2012-08-30 08:29:36 AM  
Heaven forbid you not wear a funny outfit to a public gathering...

/Couldn't one just wear normal clothing and tell everyone you're a member of "Starfleet Society for Creative Anachronism"?
 
2012-08-30 08:34:00 AM  
"It would be incredible to have a future that Star Trek portrays," said Hargett. "Where everybody is equal, nobody worries about money, everybody is educated, and everyone has a meaningful existence."

Star Trek was pretty utopian but people were certainly not all equal. The Enterprise(and Star Fleet) was not run by average citizens. Did she even watch the shows?
 
2012-08-30 08:37:14 AM  

Epicanis: Couldn't one just wear normal clothing and tell everyone you're a member of "Starfleet Society for Creative Anachronism"?


It'd have to be normal, but wrong in some fashion. Like, you'd have to wear a 40s suit jacket with a 70s disco shirt and jeans. Actually, wait, that's a kinda cool outfit. I think I need to hit a vintage store on my way home...
 
2012-08-30 08:39:25 AM  

Tobin_Lam: "It would be incredible to have a future that Star Trek portrays," said Hargett. "Where everybody is equal, nobody worries about money, everybody is educated, and everyone has a meaningful existence."

Star Trek was pretty utopian but people were certainly not all equal. The Enterprise(and Star Fleet) was not run by average citizens. Did she even watch the shows?


And there's also Section 31 who maintains this perfect utopia by killing anyone who opposes it.
 
2012-08-30 08:42:01 AM  
Never before has a news story been so perfect for Fark.

Paging Wil to the bridge!
 
2012-08-30 08:51:21 AM  
She sounds fat.
 
2012-08-30 08:53:24 AM  

To The Escape Zeppelin!: And there's also Section 31 who maintains this perfect utopia by killing anyone who opposes it.


And that's why new Star Trek sucks. Look, I understand, I really do- there's a lot to explore in the dark side of a utopia. But that's not how Star Trek should be done. There are a lot of good stories to be told that way, but they never feel right to me in the Star Trek setting. I guess it's because I grew up on TOS.
 
2012-08-30 09:00:43 AM  
Ooh hey, a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan, you must be a real hit with the ladies.
 
2012-08-30 09:12:18 AM  
Tim: I know. I'd look like a twat in a jumpsuit.

Daisy: Don't say that, Tim. That is a word which hates women.

Tim: What, twat?

Daisy: No, jumpsuit.
 
2012-08-30 09:16:04 AM  

t3knomanser: And that's why new Star Trek sucks. Look, I understand, I really do- there's a lot to explore in the dark side of a utopia. But that's not how Star Trek should be done. There are a lot of good stories to be told that way, but they never feel right to me in the Star Trek setting. I guess it's because I grew up on TOS.


Yea, the Star Trek universe worked much better in TOS when they didn't try to show much of the Roddenberry's utopian ideas for the Federation outside of a military vessel. When they just tell you society solved it's problems and move on you can just accept it like in TOS because it's only background to the story. But the more of the Federation the shows reveal the less sense it makes until you realize they're all living in a dystopian nightmare where everybody praises the system because if you don't you'll disappear in the night.

That's why I like what little we've seen of the new movie Star Trek. It's back to fighting Klingons and no mention of command economies.
 
2012-08-30 09:18:02 AM  
Sounds like someone needs to switch to Dilithium Crystal Light.
 
2012-08-30 09:24:10 AM  

mr lawson: I'm pretty sure Star Fleet would have a physical fitness requirement.


Yeah, Scotty was already a Captain by the time he let himself go. And really, was anyone going to tell Montgomery farking Scott to drop a few pounds? He would just tell you he was eating Haggis and Whiskey for all three meals when your grandfather was in diapers, and strut out like the fat kid in the Haters Gonna Hate meme.
 
2012-08-30 09:43:06 AM  

Epicanis: Heaven forbid you not wear a funny outfit to a public gathering...

/Couldn't one just wear normal clothing and tell everyone you're a member of "Starfleet Society for Creative Anachronism" an away team who traveled back in time and is trying to fit in?


/FTFY
 
2012-08-30 09:46:09 AM  
The trouble with eating tribbles.
 
2012-08-30 09:54:08 AM  
May I suggest an alternate costume, say one of the entertainers from Jabba's Palace.

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
No, not the Twi'lek, the one on the right.
 
2012-08-30 09:59:42 AM  
Should have checked the sizing guide before ordering, one store's med might be another store's small.
 
2012-08-30 10:26:41 AM  
I don't think her mistake was the uniform in the wrong size, it was ordering the uniform from Star Trek: Voyager
 
2012-08-30 10:26:57 AM  

Stavr0: May I suggest an alternate costume, say one of the entertainers from Jabba's Palace.

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 640x429]
No, not the Twi'lek, the one on the right.


The thing on the left with the three eyes and meatloaf hands wouldn't be a bad prospect either. At least you wouldn't have to look at fat tits.
 
2012-08-30 10:30:48 AM  

Great Janitor: I don't think her mistake was the uniform in the wrong size, it was ordering the uniform from Star Trek: Voyager


That's not the Voyager uniform. It was created for use on DS9.

Sure, it hung around on Voyager longer than anywhere else because they were in the Delta Quadrant and didn't get the grey, quilted shoulder uniforms, but it was originally the DS9 uniform.
 
2012-08-30 10:33:25 AM  

Englebert Slaptyback: The average Trekker has no use for a medium-sized belt costume.


Came for this, leaving disguntled I got beaten to it.
 
2012-08-30 10:34:58 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: Great Janitor: I don't think her mistake was the uniform in the wrong size, it was ordering the uniform from Star Trek: Voyager

That's not the Voyager uniform. It was created for use on DS9.

Sure, it hung around on Voyager longer than anywhere else because they were in the Delta Quadrant and didn't get the grey, quilted shoulder uniforms, but it was originally the DS9 uniform.


I know that, but if I had the money to spend on both a uniform and divorce lawyer, I'd go with either the DS9 uniforms (the ones from like Season 5 and beyond) or the ones from Star Trek 2 - 6.

No, I'm not getting a divorce, my wife just told me that if I ever bought or made my own Star Trek uniform it would be grounds for a divorce.
 
2012-08-30 10:36:46 AM  

Great Janitor: FirstNationalBastard: Great Janitor: I don't think her mistake was the uniform in the wrong size, it was ordering the uniform from Star Trek: Voyager

That's not the Voyager uniform. It was created for use on DS9.

Sure, it hung around on Voyager longer than anywhere else because they were in the Delta Quadrant and didn't get the grey, quilted shoulder uniforms, but it was originally the DS9 uniform.

I know that, but if I had the money to spend on both a uniform and divorce lawyer, I'd go with either the DS9 uniforms (the ones from like Season 5 and beyond) or the ones from Star Trek 2 - 6.

No, I'm not getting a divorce, my wife just told me that if I ever bought or made my own Star Trek uniform it would be grounds for a divorce.


The only logical grounds for divorce are if you wanted one of those horrible pastel uniforms from The Motion Picture.
 
2012-08-30 10:39:05 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: Great Janitor: FirstNationalBastard: Great Janitor: I don't think her mistake was the uniform in the wrong size, it was ordering the uniform from Star Trek: Voyager

That's not the Voyager uniform. It was created for use on DS9.

Sure, it hung around on Voyager longer than anywhere else because they were in the Delta Quadrant and didn't get the grey, quilted shoulder uniforms, but it was originally the DS9 uniform.

I know that, but if I had the money to spend on both a uniform and divorce lawyer, I'd go with either the DS9 uniforms (the ones from like Season 5 and beyond) or the ones from Star Trek 2 - 6.

No, I'm not getting a divorce, my wife just told me that if I ever bought or made my own Star Trek uniform it would be grounds for a divorce.

The only logical grounds for divorce are if you wanted one of those horrible pastel uniforms from The Motion Picture.


I refuse to admit those uniforms are cannon.
 
2012-08-30 10:42:23 AM  

Great Janitor: FirstNationalBastard: Great Janitor: FirstNationalBastard: Great Janitor: I don't think her mistake was the uniform in the wrong size, it was ordering the uniform from Star Trek: Voyager

That's not the Voyager uniform. It was created for use on DS9.

Sure, it hung around on Voyager longer than anywhere else because they were in the Delta Quadrant and didn't get the grey, quilted shoulder uniforms, but it was originally the DS9 uniform.

I know that, but if I had the money to spend on both a uniform and divorce lawyer, I'd go with either the DS9 uniforms (the ones from like Season 5 and beyond) or the ones from Star Trek 2 - 6.

No, I'm not getting a divorce, my wife just told me that if I ever bought or made my own Star Trek uniform it would be grounds for a divorce.

The only logical grounds for divorce are if you wanted one of those horrible pastel uniforms from The Motion Picture.

I refuse to admit those uniforms are cannon.


That movie should have been when everyone collectively said "Yeah, Gene Coon was responsible for all the good things in Star Trek".

The first two seasons of TNG just drove that point home.
 
2012-08-30 10:43:26 AM  

Great Janitor: FirstNationalBastard: Great Janitor: I don't think her mistake was the uniform in the wrong size, it was ordering the uniform from Star Trek: Voyager

That's not the Voyager uniform. It was created for use on DS9.

Sure, it hung around on Voyager longer than anywhere else because they were in the Delta Quadrant and didn't get the grey, quilted shoulder uniforms, but it was originally the DS9 uniform.

I know that, but if I had the money to spend on both a uniform and divorce lawyer, I'd go with either the DS9 uniforms (the ones from like Season 5 and beyond) or the ones from Star Trek 2 - 6.

No, I'm not getting a divorce, my wife just told me that if I ever bought or made my own Star Trek uniform it would be grounds for a divorce.


I would want the two piece uniform from TNG or the Star Trek 2-6 ones. I would want them, however, to be custom fitted so that it actually looked nice.

/I'd also want the movie one changed so that the pants are not stuffed in the boots.
 
2012-08-30 11:16:51 AM  
Arg. Admitting too much fan cred...

Everybody knows you stay away from JKerezman for costumes; his stuff is good... when you get it. If you get it. If it fits. Yeah - these costume guys have reputations, down in the deep dark bowels of fandom, where the ubergeeks sleep...

/No, I don't have one.
//Ok, yeah, I do - but just a tunic. From JKerezman, oddly...
///Bought one of his returns, as a bed for my prop collection. Pretty.
////Never tried it on. Honest. Swear to God. Isn't having a set a props geeky enough?
////Set phasers to slashy!
 
2012-08-30 11:25:17 AM  
Her first mistake was ordering a costume from a website in the 90's. OK, maybe that wasn't her first mistake.

Link
 
2012-08-30 11:31:41 AM  
She can always dress up as a Horta.
 
2012-08-30 11:49:15 AM  
No pics of the chick?
 
2012-08-30 11:50:07 AM  
content.artofmanliness.com

CBG understands her pain.


/"Yes, I would like to return your quote unquote, Ultimate Belt.I do not have a receipt, I won it as a door prize at the Star Trek convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical as the average Trekker has no use for a medium-sized belt."
 
2012-08-30 12:09:16 PM  

Great Janitor: FirstNationalBastard: Great Janitor: I don't think her mistake was the uniform in the wrong size, it was ordering the uniform from Star Trek: Voyager

That's not the Voyager uniform. It was created for use on DS9.

Sure, it hung around on Voyager longer than anywhere else because they were in the Delta Quadrant and didn't get the grey, quilted shoulder uniforms, but it was originally the DS9 uniform.

I know that, but if I had the money to spend on both a uniform and divorce lawyer, I'd go with either the DS9 uniforms (the ones from like Season 5 and beyond) or the ones from Star Trek 2 - 6.

No, I'm not getting a divorce, my wife just told me that if I ever bought or made my own Star Trek uniform it would be grounds for a divorce.


That sucks. My wife ordered a DS9 style uniform for fun one day. Turns out I have a group of friends that want to start playing Artemis, so I might even get to use it.
 
2012-08-30 12:51:54 PM  

Cthulhu11: Darmok and Jalad at the all you can eat buffet. Shaka when the zipper would not go up.


Goddamnit, I laughed so hard. Now my coworkers are looking at me strangely.

Good on you sir or madam. You won the internets today.
 
2012-08-30 02:08:10 PM  
Temba, her ass wide.
 
2012-08-30 03:05:15 PM  
Kidar beneath Mo Pudding.
 
2012-08-30 04:22:24 PM  
FTFA: "Hargett said she was forced to spend hundreds more for yet another costume,"

i3.ytimg.com
 
2012-08-30 05:54:25 PM  
Nice to know there's nothing more important going on in Ohio.
 
2012-08-30 08:52:24 PM  

TyrantII: Nice to know there's nothing more important going on in Ohio.


THIS
 
2012-08-31 03:16:34 PM  

Cthulhu11: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 708x541]

Darmok and Jalad at the all you can eat buffet. Shaka when the seams failed zipper would not go up.

 
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