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(Some Guy)   Female chimpanzee found to be smarter than US high school students. US high school students too busy worrying about Snooki's baby to comment   (myscienceacademy.org) divider line 84
    More: Obvious, Snooki, high schools, psychiatric medication, product bundling, Philosophical Transactions, chemical synthesis, psychoactive drugs, worrying  
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7362 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Aug 2012 at 4:06 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-29 12:20:09 PM  
i253.photobucket.comBottoms up, stupid human.
 
2012-08-29 12:26:11 PM  
Never saw a chimp yakking on a cell phone or counting calories while already obese.
Yep. Definately smarter than a highschool kid.
 
2012-08-29 12:29:39 PM  
To be fair, most single-celled organisms are smarter than the average American high school student these days.
 
2012-08-29 12:50:17 PM  
Oh yeah smart chimp... what is the first rule of Ape Law?
 
2012-08-29 01:06:10 PM  
But can she solve the burrito coverings crisis?
 
2012-08-29 01:09:50 PM  
Since when has the genius bar been so low that you just have to be smarter than a high school student? I realize we're talking about a chimp, but still...
 
2012-08-29 02:58:29 PM  
The real test will be to get her away from supervision and see if they can get her to sign up for high interest rate credit card.
 
2012-08-29 03:47:29 PM  
This blog is citing NaturalNews, which references this study. From what I can see, NaturalNews is making shiat up again, and drawing conclusions not based on evidence.
 
2012-08-29 03:48:40 PM  
Personally, I think Dr. Zaius's research may be bias.

Not necessarily wrong, mind you, just bias.
 
2012-08-29 04:10:37 PM  
well considering the fact that snookie is a chimp i can understand how the student could have been confused...
 
2012-08-29 04:11:29 PM  

rumpelstiltskin: Since when has the genius bar been so low that you just have to be smarter than a high school student? I realize we're talking about a chimp, but still...


Since 2001, when No Child Left Unturned went into effect, that's when.
 
2012-08-29 04:12:21 PM  
Study: Dolphins Not So Intelligent On Land
 
2012-08-29 04:13:33 PM  
Who ever wrote that is either barren as death valley or shooting blanks. Yes, you can love chimps all you want, but you'll never have your own children.
 
2012-08-29 04:14:14 PM  
" Intelligent chimpanzees are well known to manufacture their own tools in order to extract (yummy) termites out of holes in trees. A typical U.S. high school student barely has the skill to open a frozen burrito wrapper and punch "START" on a microwave oven."

::facepalm:: This article isn't funny, informative, or entertaining in any other way. This is pretty terrible.
 
2012-08-29 04:15:36 PM  
Subby said chimpanzee twice.
 
2012-08-29 04:16:44 PM  
Idjit article, comparing apples and oranges. Back a truck full of Ho-Hos into Bonzo's enclosure, and it'll eat itself sick on the things.

And then, eat the sick.

Keep it supplied with sugar snacks and monkey-porn, and the damned thing would live in your basement as long as any neckbeard with a Star Wars collection.
 
2012-08-29 04:17:39 PM  
Some American high school students probably ARE Snooki's babies.
 
2012-08-29 04:18:29 PM  
I already read about this in Hyperbolist Quarterly.
 
2012-08-29 04:18:32 PM  
But where does it rank compared to a fifth grader?
 
2012-08-29 04:18:41 PM  
Is this the worst satire I've ever read, or just the inane ramblings of some self-righteous shut in who got wedgied a lot in his teenage years?
 
2012-08-29 04:18:49 PM  
Your blog sucks.
 
2012-08-29 04:18:56 PM  
and the majority of my coworkers....

/not even being snarky. what a bunch of morans...
 
2012-08-29 04:19:05 PM  
That figures, anyone smarter that a chimpanzee wouldn't give a flying FARK about Snooki.
 
2012-08-29 04:19:07 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: Oh yeah smart chimp... what is the first rule of Ape Law?

Abe: For your assignment, please write this saying.
Sentence: APE MUST NEVER KILL APE.
Abe: OK, Cornelius, let us see how you did.
Cornelius: Yes sir.
Cornelius hands his paper to Abe, who reads it aloud
Abe: Ape must never kill Abe. Interesting. 

 
2012-08-29 04:19:45 PM  
Always the low hanging fruit.
/monkey steals peach.
 
2012-08-29 04:20:12 PM  
I'd like to see her rebuild a big block 454.

and HS students are (generally) smart enough not to have to eat live insects.
Unless they lost a bet.
 
2012-08-29 04:20:16 PM  
Abilify is supposed to bring one round from a Lysergide over-administration better than Valium.

//I tend to
//just ride it out
 
2012-08-29 04:20:22 PM  
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it.
 
2012-08-29 04:20:33 PM  
A) Obviously any actually scientific study would demonstrate high school students are way smarter than chimps.

B) Obviously adult chimps have way better judgment than high school students.

/then again adult humans have come with with ideas like MAD, so maybe the chimps are smarter
 
2012-08-29 04:21:01 PM  
This article was just stupid. Trust me, I'm not butthurt about the (correct) characterization of American high school students as vapid, shallow and worthless. This article wasn't worth the time I invested in reading it, let alone what time the author put into his supposedly-clever prose.
 
2012-08-29 04:22:51 PM  

AliceBToklasLives: /then again adult humans have come with with ideas like MAD, so maybe the chimps are smarter


Ah ha! But by coming up with MAD, nobody was actually destroyed. The brilliance of it is that the weapons literally become too terrible to use. Ever. Suck it chimps.
 
2012-08-29 04:22:55 PM  
And white mice are more intelligent than the scientists who study them.
 
2012-08-29 04:23:12 PM  
thatsracist.jpg
 
2012-08-29 04:24:00 PM  
Snooki's kid.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-29 04:24:03 PM  
Just knock her hat off and she'll be back to her dumb self.

sharetv.org
 
2012-08-29 04:24:40 PM  
*cue ending to Escape from the Planet of the Apes*
 
2012-08-29 04:24:52 PM  
FTFA: An ability to disable an electric fence by throwing branches on it and observing the sparks. Once the sparks stopped, Natasha knew the fence was disabled and then proceeded to climb it. (A typical U.S. high school student cannot figure out how to pull his pants up around his waist.)

Ugh, and I went into this thinking it was actually about science.

/I feel rickroll'd
 
2012-08-29 04:25:17 PM  
Article was originally from NaturalNews and hence is invalid.
 
2012-08-29 04:26:53 PM  
You're all missing the important part of the question. WHAT'S WRONG WITH SNOOKI'S BABY!?
 
2012-08-29 04:28:21 PM  

iStig: This blog is citing NaturalNews, which references this study. From what I can see, NaturalNews is making shiat up again, and drawing conclusions not based on evidence.


I do feel like the article is trolling me. It certainly sounds like an opinion piece.
 
2012-08-29 04:30:15 PM  
Everyone in this thread is dumber for having read that article.
 
2012-08-29 04:31:47 PM  

Momos: You're all missing the important part of the question. WHAT'S WRONG WITH SNOOKI'S BABY!?


Instead of an Oompa Loompa, she gave birth to an Ewok.
 
2012-08-29 04:32:59 PM  
Were paramecium involved in any way?
 
2012-08-29 04:33:43 PM  
Yon blog sucketh
 
2012-08-29 04:34:18 PM  
images.wikia.com
 
2012-08-29 04:36:06 PM  
Is this a Scientology front? Because it sure has a lot of anti-psychiatry propaganda, in addition to being generally stupid.
 
2012-08-29 04:36:27 PM  
Miss Teen South Carolina resembles that remark.
 
2012-08-29 04:37:21 PM  
But what about the male chimps? Too busy staring at the female, no doubt.
 
2012-08-29 04:37:36 PM  
Sounds like the intelligent design and lower standards are working out.
 
2012-08-29 04:39:25 PM  
So how smart is Borus ?
 
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