Obligatory Monty Python lyrics:

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.

Another money-grubbing priapist...Where do I sign up?

What's all this about the presidential erection?!

...

Oh, that's different. Never mind.

Boner for 3 days...talk about your hardships...

Thras-

The hour part is incorrect. Takes a lot longer than that.

This I know. My wife, too.

The doctors who caused this guy's problem deserve to do time in the American penile system!

*ducks*

That must have been hard....

"though unable to perform sexually"
... what is that? a footnote...?
well, he can still go jogging right? cuz, lord knows i would rather go for a nice brisk walk than get a bj any day of the week.
the slaughterhouse that treated the guy should be shut down and the poor chap should have recieved $20 million.

2003-11-21 05:01:55 PM
ohsosexypaul

I think you missed the part where this guy could never get another erection for his entire life.

Would you cut off your penis (assuming you're male) for 3 million dollars?

//

I think you're mixing things up. I don't believe that he intentionally disfigured himself in order to get money, but I do think that after it happened, he plotted to haul in a big amount of cash.

Asking if I would castrate myself in order to get money isn't the same thing.

Whamdangler-
I hear ya man. I pushed the envelope to 15 minutes, looking for my $10,416.00.

Have a good weekend all.

How the hell does a guy living in friggin' Neptune, NJ , a low-rent armpit next to Asburk Park, afford Penis surgery? Clearly this guy doesn't read Ask Men posts, because his crappy Neptune bachelor pad needs far more work than his small penis.

I wonder if I could sue fat people for preventing me from an erection for three days...

Here's better coverage:

http://www.nj.com/news/ledger/jersey/index.ssf?/base/news-5/106939743787630.xm l

'Sheldon Burman, a board-certified thoracic surgeon, treated Tomaino with the drug Papaverine, injected by syringe into the penis. On Oct. 31, 1992, after having sex, Tomaino's erection did not diminish. In pain and unable to get relief from cold showers or icepacks, Tomaino called the sexual dysfunction center and was advised to go to an emergency room.

At Jersey Shore Medical Center in Neptune, after initial treatments were unsuccessful, a urologist performed a surgical procedure that corrected the problem. In all, Tomaino was hospitalized for 10 days. '

Apparently they had to deflate him - permanently. If he has kids, it will be via surgery - expensive, optional surgery. And no sex for the rest of his life.

Unless, of course, he pulls a Richard Simmons. But that's not the same thing.

This surgeon was a damn idiot. He gave it to this guy to cure premature ejaculation, when it's designed to cure impotence. That's like putting out a fire with gasoline.

http://www.nationalmssociety.org/%5Cmeds-papaverine.asp:

"Proper Usage
Papaverine should never be used as a sexual aid by men who are not impotent. If improperly used, this medication can cause permanent damage to the penis."

D-U-H. 3 mill, punititive damages, right on man.

Why would anyone get a penile implant?
yea, it sucks that this happened, but come on, it is seriously stupid to pay someone to take a knife to the little man.

And all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.

Oh, ok, he didn't get an implant. He was trying to get a premature ejaculation cure. That's more reasonable.

I was under the impression he was going for some size augmentation.

Talk about your long road to recovery, I bet it'll be hard for him to forget how bad he got the shaft on this one.....

The article doesn't say why he had penile surgery in the first place. If it was elective surgery then he should get a small malpractice setlement. Then spend it on a tatoo for his forhead, "Dickless Wonder."
Personally I am happy with my equipment and it works. Don't break what isn't broken.

Yes...once again , no personal responsibility.

If I had a teeny peeny , I STILL wouldn't let a doctor hack it open and try to back it bigger. It's just not worth it!

As for the other part , well...he might make all kinds of friends if he stayed stiff all the time.

I agree with the judge, $3M isn't enough. The article in the link seems to be mocking the situation and judge -- typical inflamatory journalism.

sllort

that was so much more informative. now i'm really really standing by what i said.

what's going on in the world these days?
If we, as non-doctors, can find the correct usage of a medicine, and the real doctors apparently don't have this knowledge; what does that say for the entire med-community?
I've been to erowid about a billion times... am i ready to work with real patients?

/nothin

Now I see he had premature ejaculation problems. Even if I had that I wouldn't resort to an ejection into my penis. He should have tried that photo of Joan Rivers.

WTF? WTF? WTF?

A jury awards the guy 3 million, and then then some other court can go and say "That's too much?"
That is garbarge!
Why doesn't someone just appeal OJ?
Oh wait, yeah, he's farkin guilty!

I cry BS!

This whole story makes me cry and cry and cry...
"I had sex and didn't blow my w4d early! Woot! And hey, it's still hard... ...uh-oh"

3mil is not nearly enough. 3mil a day is more like it. Every day he's gonna wake up and say "yep, no sex today!"

/reflects further... man, no more morning wood

simple solution = run naked into a brick wall... real fast

From WebMD:


Men -- and their partners -- may have different ideas about what's premature and what's not when it comes to ejaculation. But if either of you feel it's a problem, there are many different ways to tackle it.

Wrap it: Some men find the sensation of sex without a condom too intense, causing them to lose control quickly.

Know yourself: It may have been in our evolutionary best interest to ejaculate quickly, but recognizing when you're approaching "the point of no return" is key.

Numb it: Not used as much today, a popular option in the past was to desensitize the penis with a topical anesthetic.

Take a pill: Certain antidepressants are known to delay ejaculation.

Let off steam: After a long period of abstinence, calming your libido with masturbation may help the thrill of a sexual encounter not overwhelm you.

let this be a lesson to all the young frkers out there, shooting early is better than not shooting at all...

little did this guy know that his cumming was going...

That surgery to correct the 3-day boner must have left him stumped.

If the judge were a woman the judgement would NEVER be 3 million dollars. He can't have sex anymore? That really does suck, but it won't stop him from driving, working, watching a movie, etc....

It's not like he lost an arm or a leg, or lost his eyesight.

I've never really believed that there should be limits on medical malpractice suits, but cases like this cause me to reevaluate my stance on the issue.

What do I think would be a more reasonable amout? I'd say $150,000.

If I'd know a 3-day erection was worth $3 million, I could have been a teenage billionaire.

Ahem:

He sued the Male Sexual Dysfunction Institute in Chicago and a doctor after he had to undergo surgery to end a three-day erection he suffered following their treatments in 1992.

Translation: They perscribed some kind of crazy horse viagra, Captain Genius decides to take a few extra for kicks despite warnings from the clinic and the drug packaging, gets a perma-stiffy and panics, rushes to the hospital and has them make his junk not work anymore, then realizes what he's done and sues.

Yeah, the stuff these clinics give you can give you a permanent erection (not nearly as fun as it sounds), but actual risk is low provided you follow dosage instructions and don't lose it and cut off your bits if something goes wrong; that's almost certainly what happened, so what this guy's most likely doing is attempting to make someone else pay for his stupid decisions*. If that wasn't the case, and they really did direct him to overdose, then they'd be facing criminal charges and class actions up the wazoo, but of course they aren't.

* OMG NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE

pics??

just jokin' - I've seen my fair share of three day erections in my time, if you know what I mean.

I love it that so many here made an ass out of themselves and umption. HA

/read the article

So the judge thought the monetary award was also raised excessively?

There might be a "Freehold" joke in there somewher, but maybe we just need a [New Jersey] tag.

that's his problem for letting it go to waste

Hehehe. ATTENNN-SHUN!

LibertyVixen
pics?? just jokin' - I've seen my fair share of three day erections in my time, if you know what I mean.

Good for you. I think...

Okay, I just thought of this. Shouldn't the headline read that he was awarded $2,999,999.99?

sllort
Thanks for the link. That doctor was a complete and total dumbass for giving him the injections for PMJ.Every doctor knows a prescription for Zoloft or Prozac would have worked just fine for PMJ. Oh wait, doctors don't know that, do they?

Like FrostedBytes said, doctors in general are woefully ignorant about medicine and pharmaceuticals. They didn't know for the longest time, that you can get knocked up on thae pill, simply by taking antibiotics with it. Or that common antidepressants cause a guy to be not able to bust a nut at all, which is depressing in itself. Or that every year they can't write prescriptions clearly enough that thousnads of people wind up taking athletes foot medicine for their seizures.

If you dont trust your gut about a doctor, run, dont walk, to a better one.

In all seriousness, do y'all realize how bad a 3 day erection would hurt? That would be awful! The longest I can remember staying up at one time was probably about 2 hours, and it was starting to get pretty damn uncomfortable.

BTW, I wouldn't give away my ability to have sex for any amount of money. 3 mil is chump change imo.

Burgina, if you know dozens of onlookers are going to be watching you flop around on the ground, do you really want them to see you with skanky feet?

Fark. Freudian slip. I said Thousnads, meant to say thousands.
pabarte
Numb it: Not used as much today, a popular option in the past was to desensitize the penis with a topical anesthetic.
But what does this nubming cream do to her orgasm?
(then again, who cares about her orgasm!)

Let off steam: After a long period of abstinence, calming your libido with masturbation may help the thrill of a sexual encounter not overwhelm you.

If you need a doctor to write you a prescription for killing kittens regularly, that should be a sign of what your problem is right there.

At $694 a minute I would have $150...yeah me.

I've never seen so many puns in a thread before....

Man......... I feel lucky just having a 3 minute erection.
../one stroke done

Ok A three day boner stops you from having sex? I don't get it. It never stoped me.