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(Marketwatch)   Nearly half of all Americans will die penniless and destitute. AMERICA. FARK YEAH   (marketwatch.com) divider line 99
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3197 clicks; posted to Business » on 29 Aug 2012 at 12:02 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-29 08:34:42 AM  
Less than $10,000 in savings is not the same as penniless and destitute... as it goes on to explain in the article, tardmitter.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-08-29 08:35:46 AM  
Well, they will be to old to be useful to the job creators anyway.
 
2012-08-29 08:41:30 AM  
But think of all the enjoyment they received their whole lives from shopping and spending.
 
2012-08-29 08:43:25 AM  
I hope when my mother dies she has $0 in her bank accounts. She has given me so much all her life, she doesn't need to leave me anything in death. Love you mom!
 
2012-08-29 08:47:17 AM  
If you want the best retirement outcome possible, get rich.

This is good advice, but it applies to more than just retirement. In fact, you should consider getting rich as soon as possible.
 
2012-08-29 08:48:25 AM  
So, most Americans will not die penniless and destitute.

/AMERICA. FARK YEAH
 
2012-08-29 08:53:31 AM  
Meh. You can't take it with you.
 
2012-08-29 08:54:53 AM  
Thanks Mitt Romey
 
2012-08-29 09:00:44 AM  

Donnchadha: Meh. You can't take it with you.


Exactly. Enjoy everything. Your kids do not deserve a windfall just because you die.

I'm glaring at you Aunt Mary you greedy biatch.
 
2012-08-29 09:29:27 AM  
Why die rich? That just means you didn't have enough fun....
 
2012-08-29 10:03:39 AM  
Slightly more than half the population will die penisless.
 
2012-08-29 10:06:34 AM  
When I die I'm giving all my money to a company that manufactures dildos, so my legacy can be f*cking people deep in the ass even after I'm dead.
 
2012-08-29 10:07:02 AM  

I_Am_Weasel: Slightly more than half the population will die live penisless.

 
2012-08-29 10:19:27 AM  
Did they take into account PLANNED destituteness, like one does for getting on Medicaid? I mean you go through all your liquid assets, but that's planned and expected. Much of the time, you are getting your money put into shelters so the kids can just "flip the switch" if you need to go into a Nursing Home.
 
2012-08-29 11:07:38 AM  
www.craigr.com

Sounds good to me.
 
2012-08-29 11:30:53 AM  
So they should die with money that their undeserving kids will inherit? Doesn't it make more sense to put it back into the economy and let the government take care of the rest?
 
2012-08-29 12:25:45 PM  
if you live long enough and have to go into a nursing home you have to die broke. if you have one dime you have to spend it before you can get any assistance...which yes...I guess makes sense. but it still sucks.

if I ever get any money, i am going to give my kids 1,000 for every birthday. but of course stop 5 years before the nursing home so I don't get penalized.

the in-laws are learning about this now...grandpa has a nice chunk of change they want but he has it so he has to pay for his nursing home care. it pisses this one aunt off so bad. greed is ugly.

it ain't your money!
 
2012-08-29 12:26:59 PM  

TheHighlandHowler: But think of all the enjoyment they received their whole lives from shopping and spending.


Yeah they won't even be able to bring that with them. What suckers! If they were rich, their seat next to God would be made of gold. Sweet, sweet gold.
 
2012-08-29 12:29:02 PM  
In before FARK's crack team of Social Darwinists explain why you're either wealthy or you're evil.
 
2012-08-29 12:32:00 PM  
I've spoken to several financial planners that are hell-bent on making sure that their clients die with $0 in the bank, and make plans and assumptions based on the clients spending every cent they have. Of course if the client lives longer than expected, they're pretty much farked, but who cares? The planner will be retired by then anyway.

/ make allowances for unforeseen circumstances people!
// you'll live longer.
/// especially if you live longer.
 
2012-08-29 12:34:06 PM  
So just like Ayn Rand?
 
2012-08-29 12:35:17 PM  
Only if I am lucky, and I time it right.
 
2012-08-29 12:39:18 PM  
Yeah, just like Jesus said.
 
2012-08-29 12:40:25 PM  
Makes probate easier if you don't have a will, that's for sure.
 
2012-08-29 12:48:37 PM  

Donnchadha: Meh. You can't take it with you.


You don't know that.
 
2012-08-29 12:49:53 PM  
No worries - helicopter Ben will print up enough funny money for all! What me worry!
 
2012-08-29 12:50:57 PM  

incendi: Less than $10,000 in savings is not the same as penniless and destitute... as it goes on to explain in the article, tardmitter.


Yeah, this definitely a reading comprehensive fail combined with a trolltastic headline.
 
2012-08-29 12:51:51 PM  
they might have a relatively generous pension plan, most of them will have Social Security,

What's a "pension"?
 
2012-08-29 12:54:45 PM  
Well, you can't take it with you, now can you?
 
2012-08-29 12:56:20 PM  
No big deal - helicopter Ben will print up enough funny money for all! What me worry!
 
2012-08-29 12:57:39 PM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: In before FARK's crack team of Social Darwinists explain why you're either wealthy or you're evil.


Odd... I've found that there are way more Farkers running around claiming that everyone rich is always evil.
 
2012-08-29 01:01:41 PM  
Nearly half of all Americans will die penniless and destitute.

So dead people have no money? How will they eat? Where will the money come from to put gas in their cars?
 
2012-08-29 01:01:59 PM  
100% of all Americans are penniless just seconds after they die.
 
2012-08-29 01:06:01 PM  
Thanks Ob.......Bankers
 
2012-08-29 01:10:29 PM  

PC LOAD LETTER: Did they take into account PLANNED destituteness, like one does for getting on Medicaid? I mean you go through all your liquid assets, but that's planned and expected. Much of the time, you are getting your money put into shelters so the kids can just "flip the switch" if you need to go into a Nursing Home.


THIS.
 
2012-08-29 01:12:29 PM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: In before FARK's crack team of Social Darwinists explain why you're either wealthy or you're evil.


Can't we all just agree it's BOTH.
 
2012-08-29 01:12:41 PM  
I think I'm ahead of the curve on this one
 
2012-08-29 01:13:46 PM  

mod3072: they might have a relatively generous pension plan, most of them will have Social Security,

What's a "pension"?


Assuming you're being cute and sarcastic, a pension is something you can create for yourself by saving a large portion of your paycheck and buying an annuity. But saving 20%+ of your paycheck would be too bootstrappy for you, and it's much easier to complain.
 
2012-08-29 01:26:51 PM  
Hooray for the baby boomers being hoodwinked into giving up pension plans as an generally expected employment perk and replacing it with ineffective 401k plans that were never intended to stand on their own. Thanks, dipsh*ts.
 
2012-08-29 01:28:03 PM  

RumsfeldsReplacement: mod3072: they might have a relatively generous pension plan, most of them will have Social Security,

What's a "pension"?

Assuming you're being cute and sarcastic, a pension is something you can create for yourself by saving a large portion of your paycheck and buying an annuity. But saving 20%+ of your paycheck would be too bootstrappy for you, and it's much easier to complain.


Annuity...BWHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! BWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!! Yeah, throw your eggs in that basket and see what happens to you...
 
2012-08-29 01:28:48 PM  
I plan to have zilch when I cack. Know why? I plan to burn through my assets before the end so my alleged siblings get nothing. Also I want to ensure that there won't be anything for them to try and take away from the parts of the family I still like. I could just see them suing anyone I leave anything to so they get the lot so it's better if there is no lot to start with.

/dysfunctional families ftl
 
2012-08-29 01:30:44 PM  
Im almost at the point where i can start saving for retirement again its been a rough six years for me. But I dont want to end up in a rest home
 
2012-08-29 01:32:48 PM  

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: hoodwinked into giving up pension plans


SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Annuity...BWHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! BWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!! Yeah, throw your eggs in that basket and see what happens to you...


It is a very rare bird indeed to have somebody so stupid as to refute himself one post later.

WTF do you think a pension plan is?
 
2012-08-29 01:33:29 PM  
I'm just throwing this out there, but has anyone considered tax cuts for the rich?
 
2012-08-29 01:36:02 PM  
I know people who plan to be in debt up to their eyeballs when they die.

I have an uncle who reverse mortgaged the house, spent the money, and passed away. My aunt, who isn't exactly the bastion of great financial minds will have to work until the day she dies. Their daughter will be completely screwed.
 
2012-08-29 01:38:17 PM  

TheGreatGazoo: I know people who plan to be in debt up to their eyeballs when they die.

I have an uncle who reverse mortgaged the house, spent the money, and passed away. My aunt, who isn't exactly the bastion of great financial minds will have to work until the day she dies. Their daughter will be completely screwed.


You say that like it's a bad thing.
 
2012-08-29 01:42:35 PM  

TheGreatGazoo: I know people who plan to be in debt up to their eyeballs when they die.


They're called assholes, Jimmy.
 
2012-08-29 01:43:54 PM  

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Hooray for the baby boomers being hoodwinked into giving up pension plans as an generally expected employment perk and replacing it with ineffective 401k plans that were never intended to stand on their own. Thanks, dipsh*ts.


Pension plans ran by corporations aren't sustainable in our type of capitalist market. GM for instance makes cars they don't run a bank. Which is why most companies match on 401ks.. In fact my company matches up to 8% which is about $7500 a year. I've maxed my 401k out since I was 25 and it will be worth millions by the time I'm in my 60s. I've paid attention to it so it's grown steadily since 1999. I never invested it in IT stocks because I was in IT and knew everyone was making vapor-ware. Not taking advantage of a 401k is a serious financial mistake. You're pissing away essentially 3-4 million dollars if you start investing in your 20s. Especially if your company matches any contributions. No pension would every provide you 3-4 million dollars. I'm totally mystified why people don't invest in their futures but whatever.
 
2012-08-29 01:46:44 PM  

SDRR: TheGreatGazoo: I know people who plan to be in debt up to their eyeballs when they die.

I have an uncle who reverse mortgaged the house, spent the money, and passed away. My aunt, who isn't exactly the bastion of great financial minds will have to work until the day she dies. Their daughter will be completely screwed.

You say that like it's a bad thing.


Yeah - screw the wife and kids! Leave 'em with debt and a funeral to pay for! I got mine, suckers!

For real. I don't know if you hate your children or what, but most people who haven't raised spoiled, entitled kids actually may want to help them out. That's not a bad thing - in fact it's a good thing. At least, to anyone who isn't a sociopathic misanthrope who wants to screw over their own family as bad after their death as they apparently did while living.
 
2012-08-29 01:47:47 PM  

xynix: I'm totally mystified why people don't invest in their futures but whatever.


BECAUSE I WANT A 68 INCH FLATSCREEN TV AND A CAR I CAN'T AFFORD AND I WANT IT NOW
 
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