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(Huffington Post)   Here are just the nouns from this story: vacation, nightmare, gay couple, airport staff, dildo, luggage, lubricant, bags, carousel. There are no winners here   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 132
    More: Strange, negligent infliction of emotional distress, Chicago's O'Hare, Capitol Hill in Washington, Missy Elliott, TSA agents, Donald Rumsfeld, Tahoera'a Huiraatira, Los Angeles International Airport  
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9977 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Aug 2012 at 1:02 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



132 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-08-28 11:20:57 PM  
You forgot lawsuit.

Who travels with a penis substitute?
 
2012-08-28 11:31:11 PM  
The Aristocrats!
 
2012-08-28 11:49:36 PM  
There are no winners here

Except for Fark. Fark is like a hedge fund on stupid, no matter who loses we win.

/if it went down as described folks need to be fired and damages paid
 
2012-08-29 12:12:52 AM  
Must be Tuesday.
 
2012-08-29 01:05:55 AM  
Holy shiat, the actual headline is farking hilarious.
 
2012-08-29 01:09:30 AM  
What about wieners?
 
2012-08-29 01:09:48 AM  
It's fark policy not to imply ownership in the event of a dildo.

Use the indefinite article.
 
2012-08-29 01:09:49 AM  
www.curiositiesbydickens.com

/hurt feelings lawsuits shouldn't be allowed
 
2012-08-29 01:12:55 AM  

feckingmorons: You forgot lawsuit.

Who travels with a penis substitute?


Sounds like your idea of exciting sex is ditching the sheet with a hole in it.
 
2012-08-29 01:13:53 AM  
There are no winners here

Of course not, it is a HuffPo article. Everyone loses.
 
2012-08-29 01:15:18 AM  
hiphopwired.com
 
2012-08-29 01:15:34 AM  
this is why I never check my luggage
 
2012-08-29 01:15:34 AM  

Silly Jesus: [www.curiositiesbydickens.com image 448x450]

/hurt feelings lawsuits shouldn't be allowed


Agreed. But isnt there a bigger issue of privacy?
 
2012-08-29 01:15:56 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

My ears are burning
 
2012-08-29 01:17:09 AM  

Silly Jesus: [www.curiositiesbydickens.com image 448x450]

/hurt feelings lawsuits shouldn't be allowed


Your trolling shouldn't be allowed.
 
2012-08-29 01:18:08 AM  
A dream vacation turned into a nightmare for a Virginia-based gay couple after airport staff allegedly removed a dildo from their luggage, smeared foul-smelling lubricant on it and taped it to their top of one of their checked bags before placing it back on the baggage carousel.
OK, assuming that happened, how do you tape something with lubricant on it?
 
2012-08-29 01:19:28 AM  
I don't blame them for suing. I don't care what it is that was formerly inside my suitcase and is now outside it, even if it's just my spare socks: that should not be done. Not with anything, not to anyone. The parts involving "gay couple" and "dildo" are irrelevant. The rest -- the fact that the airport staff took something out of their luggage and taped it onto the outside of their luggage (with or without some random goo smeared on it) is the part that's at issue here. And given that public corporations have only one obligation to their owners (aka stockholders) and that is to maximize their stock price, nothing but a big-money lawsuit will get their attention.

Also, United breaks guitars.
 
2012-08-29 01:19:31 AM  

SquiggelyGrounders: Silly Jesus: [www.curiositiesbydickens.com image 448x450]

/hurt feelings lawsuits shouldn't be allowed

Agreed. But isnt there a bigger issue of privacy?


You have no privacy anymore when flying. I thought that was understood and accepted with the purchase of the ticket.
 
2012-08-29 01:19:47 AM  
I never will get e trvl with. dildo people.

you uave a perfect secret hiding spot for it, why not use it instead of checking it in a bag?
 
2012-08-29 01:20:09 AM  

DreamSnipers: OK, assuming that happened, how do you tape something with lubricant on it?


Tape it first.
 
2012-08-29 01:20:24 AM  
In the context used in the headline, 'gay' and 'airport' are adjectives, not nouns.

Grammar Nazi
 
2012-08-29 01:21:57 AM  
Yup. There needs to be lawsuits and firings a'plenty here. If United baggage handlers are involved, the plaintiffs should be set for life, especially where flying is concerned. They should get free unlimited miles for life out of this.

Unfortunately, there's the question of *who* opened up the bags. If it was United personnel, let the heads roll. But, if it's the TSA that opened up the bags, I expect the response to be 'National Security and Freedom so Fark You, that's why' and the pair won't get a single dime out of this.
 
2012-08-29 01:23:06 AM  

Biological Ali: Silly Jesus: [www.curiositiesbydickens.com image 448x450]

/hurt feelings lawsuits shouldn't be allowed

Your trolling shouldn't be allowed.


i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-08-29 01:23:54 AM  

kvinesknows: I never will get e trvl with. dildo people.


OH GOD! Someone help kvinesknows!

i16.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-29 01:24:07 AM  
So what are the odds on this being the TSA vs it being the airline? And why would an airport employee think taping someone's dildo to the outside of their luggage would be... funny?

//oh wait, yeah, definitely TSA
 
2012-08-29 01:25:53 AM  

Silly Jesus: SquiggelyGrounders: Silly Jesus: [www.curiositiesbydickens.com image 448x450]

/hurt feelings lawsuits shouldn't be allowed

Agreed. But isnt there a bigger issue of privacy?

You have no privacy anymore when flying. I thought that was understood and accepted with the purchase of the ticket.


I see what you mean as I fly often. But tampering with someones bags in a way that has nothing to do with security is the problem.
 
2012-08-29 01:26:48 AM  
More: Strange, negligent infliction of emotional distress, Chicago's O'Hare, Capitol Hill in Washington, Missy Elliott, TSA agents, Donald Rumsfeld, Tahoera'a Huiraatira, Los Angeles International Airport
 
2012-08-29 01:26:54 AM  

RamboFrog: In the context used in the headline, 'gay' and 'airport' are adjectives, not nouns.

Grammar Nazi


Yeah one of the gays told me "gay" shouldn't be used as a noun.
 
2012-08-29 01:28:50 AM  

feckingmorons:

Who travels with a penis substitute?


Who doesn't?
 
2012-08-29 01:30:02 AM  
I also found an adverb in the story.
 
2012-08-29 01:30:28 AM  

Worldwalker: I don't blame them for suing. I don't care what it is that was formerly inside my suitcase and is now outside it, even if it's just my spare socks: that should not be done. Not with anything, not to anyone. The parts involving "gay couple" and "dildo" are irrelevant. The rest -- the fact that the airport staff took something out of their luggage and taped it onto the outside of their luggage (with or without some random goo smeared on it) is the part that's at issue here. And given that public corporations have only one obligation to their owners (aka stockholders) and that is to maximize their stock price, nothing but a big-money lawsuit will get their attention.

Also, United breaks guitars.


And violins. Bastards. They actually had to open the flight case to do it.
 
2012-08-29 01:33:24 AM  
This article is tagged as being related to Donald Rumsfeld?

Oh, right. Dildo.
 
2012-08-29 01:37:41 AM  
Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article, "a dildo", never ... your dildo.
 
2012-08-29 01:39:42 AM  

freespirited: feckingmorons:

Who travels with a penis substitute?

Who doesn't?


King Missile.
 
2012-08-29 01:40:16 AM  

Silly Jesus: [www.curiositiesbydickens.com image 448x450]

/hurt feelings lawsuits shouldn't be allowed


So if I played a malicious prank on you that publicly humiliated you to the point where you were uncomfortable showing your face in public... I should get away scot-free?
 
2012-08-29 01:40:21 AM  
At least is didn't involve staph
 
2012-08-29 01:42:21 AM  
What the hell does a gay couple need a dildo for? If two dicks can't get the job done then maybe they should break up and move on already.
 
2012-08-29 01:44:16 AM  

Worldwalker: Also, United breaks guitars.


Clearly the song needs a new verse.

/It's actually a pretty good song.
 
2012-08-29 01:44:29 AM  
Remember this -- there's no real way for the baggage handlers to know whose luggage has a dildo in it. This means that handlers systematically root through everyone's luggage looking for valuables that the scumbags then steal and sell through Craigslist and Ebay.
 
2012-08-29 01:47:01 AM  

RamboFrog: In the context used in the headline, 'gay' and 'airport' are adjectives, not nouns.

Grammar Nazi


However, they're not being used independently; they're modifiers to the nouns "couple" and "staff." Therefore, "gay couple" and "airport staff" function as noun phrases, and are hence permissible.

Grammar Communist
 
2012-08-29 01:47:12 AM  

freespirited: feckingmorons:

Who travels with a penis substitute?

Who doesn't?


I never travel without my penis substitute, it's a cock! Like a penis only BIGGER!
 
2012-08-29 01:48:31 AM  

fragMasterFlash: What the hell does a gay couple need a dildo for? If two dicks can't get the job done then maybe they should break up and move on already.


Need? If you're worried about what you -need- for sex, you're not doing it very well.

Besides, everyone knows really good sex requires a lawn-chair, six milk bottles and a tuning fork.
 
2012-08-29 01:49:38 AM  

feckingmorons: Who travels with a penis substitute?


Ann Romney?
 
2012-08-29 01:50:13 AM  

ciberido: fragMasterFlash: What the hell does a gay couple need a dildo for? If two dicks can't get the job done then maybe they should break up and move on already.

Need? If you're worried about what you -need- for sex, you're not doing it very well.

Besides, everyone knows really good sex requires a lawn-chair, six milk bottles and a tuning fork.


With or without milk?
 
2012-08-29 01:50:30 AM  

ciberido: fragMasterFlash: What the hell does a gay couple need a dildo for? If two dicks can't get the job done then maybe they should break up and move on already.

Need? If you're worried about what you -need- for sex, you're not doing it very well.

Besides, everyone knows really good sex requires a lawn-chair, six milk bottles and a tuning fork.


You forgot willing partner.
 
2012-08-29 01:50:52 AM  
Hopefully the lawsuit will legitimately rape the company. They should be drained of as much cash as possible.
 
2012-08-29 01:51:25 AM  

Worldwalker: Grammar Communist


Does that mean I have to wait in line for 2 weeks to buy a vowel?
 
2012-08-29 01:53:14 AM  

RedPhoenix122: Worldwalker: Grammar Communist

Does that mean I have to wait in line for 2 weeks to buy a vowel?


Sorry, we no vowels, can only buy consonant!
 
2012-08-29 01:54:11 AM  
Sure some of those aren't verbs, subby? "Gay couple bags dildo, airport staff-lubricant. Vacation nightmare? Carousel."
 
2012-08-29 01:54:49 AM  
There seem to be a lot of stories lately about how United Airlines is either incompetant or assholes.

I'm inclined to never fly them again.
 
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