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(The Onion)   Gay Marine Beaten To Bloody Pulp To Fire Up RNC Crowd   (theonion.com) divider line 99
    More: Satire, RNC, Governor of New Jersey, going to bed  
•       •       •

3274 clicks; posted to Politics » on 28 Aug 2012 at 10:32 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-28 11:37:26 PM

gameshowhost: Has anyone else noticed how conservatives seem to have grown increasingly displeased with The Onion as conservatism has gone farther and farther over the edge?


And while the conservatives approach the edge, the liberals flung themselves off it years ago.

Actually Republicans started having a problem with "The Onion" when it started to become another shill for liberals.
 
2012-08-28 11:39:20 PM

tenpoundsofcheese: yet it was Clinton who gave us DOMA.


b-b-b-b-b-but CLINTON!!1!!

...lame
 
2012-08-28 11:44:53 PM

LordOfThePings: The marine's body has a way to shut that whole thing down.


Favorited
 
2012-08-28 11:44:58 PM

randomjsa: And while the conservatives approach the edge, the liberals flung themselves off it years ago.


Who's the Democratic equivalent of Michele Bachmann?
Who's the Democratic equivalent of Todd Akin?
Who's the Democratic equivalent of Alan West?
Who's the Democratic equivalent of Louis Gomert?
Who's the Democratic equivalent of Steve King? 
I could do this all freaking night....

What Democrat is claiming to have sniffed out enemies of the state in the form of Communists and Muslim Brotherhood fifth columnists?

This "both sides are bad" shiat is beyond pathetic.
 
2012-08-28 11:45:43 PM

randomjsa: Actually Republicans started having a problem with "The Onion" when it started to become another shill for liberals.


Area man believes everything except FOX and AM radio is "shill for liberals".
 
2012-08-28 11:46:39 PM

randomjsa: Actually Republicans started having a problem with "The Onion" reality when it started to become another shill for liberals.


FTFY
 
2012-08-28 11:46:50 PM

God-is-a-Taco: This is a bit too much for me. Onion is awesome, but there's just something off about this one.

Its believability is perhaps the weakness, it's not absurd enough to be humor.


Maybe that's the GOP's secret gameplan. To become so incredibly absurd that satirists run out of material.
 
2012-08-28 11:47:57 PM
Oh bravo sir, you got three of us in a row.
 
2012-08-28 11:51:05 PM

Pocket Ninja: Wait, I'm confused. The article said that he was blindfolded and wearing flexicuffs. The marine in the picture is not blindfolded and his hands are free.

I think this might be some sort of trickery.


Stock photo, the obligatory "what a Republican convention might look like."
 
2012-08-28 11:51:35 PM

Lando Lincoln: God-is-a-Taco: This is a bit too much for me. Onion is awesome, but there's just something off about this one.

Its believability is perhaps the weakness, it's not absurd enough to be humor.

Maybe that's the GOP's secret gameplan. To become so incredibly absurd that satirists run out of material.


And why not? It worked for that guy with the Charlie Chaplan moustache.
 
2012-08-28 11:51:55 PM

dababler: Republicans boo gay Stephen Hill gay soldier. THIS IS NOT SATIRE.

Don't forget this shiat in November people.


THIS.

Every time the GOPhers called the Dems and Obama divisive tonight I remembered shiat like that.

Like Anne Romney saying "We're gonna talk about Love" and then going on to add the "Real Marriage" dig.

/Shades of Palin's "Real Americans" jab.

The people who want to stop Muslims from building Mosques in America are gonna somehow unite the country and the Dems are real divisive ones?

Tis somewhat maddening, ya gotta admit.

In a totally unrelated noted, beer is good.

/See also: Insanely crunkalicious BC Bud.
//Or not. YMMV, of course.
 
2012-08-28 11:53:57 PM

MyRandomName: Isn't satire supposed to be clever? This is just a liberal beating off to what he believes conservatives believe. Nothing clever. Just retarded derp.


I don't think they would beat a gay marine on stage, but I do believe that they would enthusiatically boo a gay soldier. And I think at least one of the trio is capable of bullying a gay classmate. The satire comes in pushing those real world activities a little further until they look absurd.

Isn't it a lot of conservative satire based on claiming that they need to take their country back and water the tree of liberty with 2nd amendment solutions? Doesn't Rush Limbaugh joke about the president fudging hurricane reports? Didn't Beck make jokes about FEMA camps? Didn't Michelle Bachman tease Huma Abedin about being a secret muslim agent? Didn't Bush perform a humorous skit about searching for WMD in Iraq? It's just all in good fun. If we can't laugh at ourselves, we are lost.
 
2012-08-28 11:54:12 PM

kaitou: I would rather find out more/get confirmation about this:

@DavidShuster: GOP attendee ejected for throwing nuts at African American CNN camera woman + saying "This is how we feed animals." @TakeActionNews #TAN


It's not much, but it's something
 
2012-08-28 11:55:32 PM

kaitou: I would rather find out more/get confirmation about this:

@DavidShuster: GOP attendee ejected for throwing nuts at African American CNN camera woman + saying "This is how we feed animals." @TakeActionNews #TAN


You are totally the real racist for pointing this act of racism out.

I hope you're proud of yourself!

Seriously, if true that shiat is too dumb for words.

Farking yeesh.
 
2012-08-29 12:03:00 AM

brianbankerus: That's not funny, that's just obscene.


And probably not more than a pube hair away from being true.
 
2012-08-29 12:03:36 AM

MyRandomName: Isn't satire supposed to be clever? This is just a liberal beating off to what he believes conservatives believe. Nothing clever. Just retarded derp.


MOAR VICTORIA JACKSON!
 
2012-08-29 12:03:58 AM

quatchi: kaitou: I would rather find out more/get confirmation about this:

@DavidShuster: GOP attendee ejected for throwing nuts at African American CNN camera woman + saying "This is how we feed animals." @TakeActionNews #TAN

You are totally the real racist for pointing this act of racism out.

I hope you're proud of yourself!

Seriously, if true that shiat is too dumb for words.

Farking yeesh.


If Romney's not careful, he's going to lose that precious 0% of the black vote.
 
2012-08-29 12:04:05 AM

Graffito: MyRandomName: Isn't satire supposed to be clever? This is just a liberal beating off to what he believes conservatives believe. Nothing clever. Just retarded derp.


I almost forgot that loveable Rush and his good-natured kidding of Sandra Fluke. What a rascal he is. It's all in good fun. Or who could forget the irascible Todd Akin and PA's Tom Smith - just regular guys out having fun with rape and abortion.
 
2012-08-29 12:05:34 AM

Graffito: Graffito: MyRandomName: Isn't satire supposed to be clever? This is just a liberal beating off to what he believes conservatives believe. Nothing clever. Just retarded derp.

I almost forgot that loveable Rush and his good-natured kidding of Sandra Fluke. What a rascal he is. It's all in good fun. Or who could forget the irascible Todd Akin and PA's Tom Smith - just regular guys out having fun with rape and abortion.


To be fair, we all laughed because we at first thought it was The Onion. Then we realized they said those things.
 
2012-08-29 12:06:29 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-29 12:11:11 AM

Gwyrddu: AliceBToklasLives: I'm surprised the Onion has not grown increasingly displeased with conservatives as they keep stealing the Onion's material.

The best Onion articles are the ones that are either prophetic or where they don't even have to make anything up for it to be funny.

The most recent favorite of mine is nation celebrates a week without a shooting, and then right after that was posted a shooting happened in NYC, so they added an addendum that made it even funnier.


My favorite,, "Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'
"

Man, did they ever call that.
 
2012-08-29 12:11:14 AM

Lionel Mandrake: quatchi: kaitou: I would rather find out more/get confirmation about this:

@DavidShuster: GOP attendee ejected for throwing nuts at African American CNN camera woman + saying "This is how we feed animals." @TakeActionNews #TAN

You are totally the real racist for pointing this act of racism out.

I hope you're proud of yourself!

Seriously, if true that shiat is too dumb for words.

Farking yeesh.

If Romney's not careful, he's going to lose that precious 0% of the black vote.


Allen West and Condi will keep at 0.00004%, the same amount as voter fraud.
 
2012-08-29 12:12:24 AM

Gepetto: kaitou: I would rather find out more/get confirmation about this:

@DavidShuster: GOP attendee ejected for throwing nuts at African American CNN camera woman + saying "This is how we feed animals." @TakeActionNews #TAN

It's not much, but it's something



Thanks. It sure is something alright... I mean it's good that they ejected him, but wow that's insane.
 
2012-08-29 12:16:52 AM

randomjsa: gameshowhost: Has anyone else noticed how conservatives seem to have grown increasingly displeased with The Onion as conservatism has gone farther and farther over the edge?

And while the conservatives approach the edge, the liberals flung themselves off it years ago.

Actually Republicans started having a problem with "The Onion" when it started to become another shill for liberals.


Or it could be the simpler theory that conservative humor is a f*cking oxymoron.
 
2012-08-29 12:17:55 AM

Lionel Mandrake: quatchi: kaitou: I would rather find out more/get confirmation about this:

@DavidShuster: GOP attendee ejected for throwing nuts at African American CNN camera woman + saying "This is how we feed animals." @TakeActionNews #TAN

You are totally the real racist for pointing this act of racism out.

I hope you're proud of yourself!

Seriously, if true that shiat is too dumb for words.

Farking yeesh.

If Romney's not careful, he's going to lose that precious 0% of the black vote.


Advisor: Oh my God, you actually have a negative percentage of the black vote thanks to the peanuts guy. Say something that will help you.
Romney: I saw my father march with Martin Luther King.
Advisor: That won't work.
Romney: Black people are people, my friend.
Advisor: ... Try something else.
Romney: Peanuts. Salty. Animal food.
Advisor: *shoots himself in the head*
Romney's Dog: *begins to chew on advisor's corpse*
Romney: Who let the dogs out? Who, who who who?
 
2012-08-29 12:22:01 AM

MyRandomName: Isn't satire supposed to be clever? This is just a liberal beating off to what he believes conservatives believe. Nothing clever. Just retarded derp.


Obviously, your love of Rush Limbaugh's testicles has blinded you to what funny is. If you knew what funny or clever was you'd not be a conservative dumb-ass trying to understand why it's funny that Republican's would like to club to death Gays like their baby seals (usually while quoting scripture). Instead, you think Rush Limbaugh is a humorist when he hasn't said anything funny the entire time he has been on the radio (and that's at three hours a day of blathering on for, what, 20 years?).

Oh, I know, you have a mind of your own that isn't at all influenced by bought-and-paid-for conservative outlets like Fox et all (and all the conservative douche-bag talk radio outlets that exist) - No, you managed to figure out all the conservative thought without them. You Repubs are so frigging predictable, it's unbelievable - and crazily enough, you all have the same views on the same days (like a bunch of lemmings looking for a cliff). One day you'll be consigned to the waste-heap of history with your antiquated views and folks will laugh at you just like we now laugh at those stupid idiot-groups who didn't believe in evolution or equal rights or democracy.... Oops, maybe I've spoken too soon! Note that you guys have the same moronic views as our ancestors did 150 years ago! Way to progress! Here's something you can run with: Lightning isn't actually a natural phenomenon as science has proven but really God's anger being displayed on those it strikes. I know you guys hate science, so there you go, something else to HATE! I'm sure you'll find a made-up web-site to back this up!
 
2012-08-29 12:28:42 AM

PaulRB: If you knew what funny or clever was you'd not be a conservative dumb-ass trying to understand why it's funny that Republican's would like to club to death Gays like their they're baby seals (usually while quoting scripture).


Pet peev

/am i doing it right?
 
2012-08-29 12:36:58 AM

coeyagi: randomjsa: gameshowhost: Has anyone else noticed how conservatives seem to have grown increasingly displeased with The Onion as conservatism has gone farther and farther over the edge?

And while the conservatives approach the edge, the liberals flung themselves off it years ago.

Actually Republicans started having a problem with "The Onion" when it started to become another shill for liberals.

Or, maybe, you're so far up Conservative ass, that you can't see squat. Have you ever had anything (ever) to say that wasn't first written down or said by some Republican think-tank? Basically, your opinions and thoughts are bought and paid for by the Koch Brothers! Congratulations! Let me know when you grow a pair. What is truly rediculous is how dopey you guys are. Do you really think you're putting anything over on anyone except the stupid and naive? Are you aware that your party cannot win any National election without lying, cheating or stealing? Why is that? Are your ideas so bankrupt that only lying cheating & stealing will win you elections? The entire RMoney campaign is built on bull. Why is that? Will you ever answer a question or just return your head to Rush Limbaugh's ass. You are sad and will continue to be sad until the day you die (which will probably be quick if conservative thought has anything to say about you - by the way, your philosophy ends you are your family too - maybe you're just suicidal, I don't know)

 
2012-08-29 12:51:52 AM
There's a difference between an angry diatribe and a satire, and The Onion is missing the distinction here.
 
2012-08-29 12:56:52 AM

randomjsa: gameshowhost: Has anyone else noticed how conservatives seem to have grown increasingly displeased with The Onion as conservatism has gone farther and farther over the edge?

And while the conservatives approach the edge, the liberals flung themselves off it years ago.

Actually Republicans started having a problem with "The Onion" when it started to become another shill for liberals.


This is what you actually believe.
 
2012-08-29 12:57:42 AM

MyRandomName: Isn't satire supposed to be clever? This is just a liberal beating off to what he believes conservatives believe. Nothing clever. Just retarded derp.


Farkers and Farkets, we have a winner!

subtlechaos.files.wordpress.com

8 responses out of a 78 post thread; ~10%. Good job. Keep it up!
 
2012-08-29 12:58:32 AM

Captain Dan: There's a difference between an angry diatribe and a satire, and The Onion is missing the distinction here.


Mmm. No. No, no. I'm pretty sure it's an issue of you not getting the joke.
 
2012-08-29 01:18:20 AM

aaronx: Yeah, it was tough, but the current GOP has gone so far out there by this point in time that satire has to go pretty far, too, to stay within striking distance.


I guess you don't remember the GOP crowd booing an active duty Marine on national television at the debates because he is gay.

I remember it very well.
 
2012-08-29 01:26:14 AM

The Why Not Guy: I guess you don't remember the GOP crowd booing an active duty Marine on national television at the debates because he is gay.


The video of that was linked to earlier in this thread no less.
 
2012-08-29 01:34:12 AM
so freakin ignorant they wont even kill the poor bastard to put him out of his misery! Where is your love for jesus?
 
2012-08-29 01:35:18 AM

randomjsa: And while the conservatives approach the edge, the liberals flung themselves off it years ago.


It is statements like this that keep me from respecting you. I KNOW you have a brain, but you refuse to use it sometimes. This "yeah both sides are bad, but the libs are worse despite all evidence to the contrary" thing may earn you teabagger-club points, but it makes you look like a damned moron. Libs have MAYBE 3 (if that, all I know of that could remotely be compared is Maher, and even half the left thinks he's a farkhead, too) people that are comparable to the entire damned GOP convention.

quatchi:
In a totally unrelated noted, beer is good.

Beer makes me gag. Gimme some damn mead!
 
2012-08-29 01:59:19 AM
I completely understand and love The Onion but this made me wince.
 
2012-08-29 02:53:28 AM
Smeggy Smurf
There are no gay marines. There are only sailors.

Right, tell that to my retired Force Recon cousin, to his face. Double dog dare ye to
 
2012-08-29 03:39:59 AM
How many of us actually visited the link while knowing it was The Onion, but had a nugget of doubt in their brain that such a horrible act could have been a plausible event, and were compelled only to confirm that it was fake if just to maintain hope that the RNC hadn't gone completely bat-shiat insane?

/or is it just me
//but what does it really say about the RNC if it isn't just me
 
2012-08-29 05:39:10 AM
 
2012-08-29 06:50:43 AM

Captain Dan: There's a difference between an angry diatribe and a satire, and The Onion is missing the distinction here.


It's no more of an angry diatribe than this is an angry diatribe. The only difference is that Republicans actually have a "silly hats only" rule, the Onion is just exaggerating the response to that.
 
2012-08-29 08:18:46 AM

dababler: Republicans boo gay Stephen Hill gay soldier. THIS IS NOT SATIRE.


Don't forget this shiat in November people.


You said gay twice...
 
2012-08-29 08:47:09 AM
Check out that story a few threads above about a RNC attendee throwing peanuts at a black reporter, saying, "This is how we feed animals". It's not beating up a gay Marine, but it's getting closer.
 
2012-08-29 08:59:19 AM

alienated: Smeggy Smurf
There are no gay marines. There are only sailors.

Right, tell that to my retired Force Recon cousin, to his face. Double dog dare ye to


I don't understand why your gay cousin should be offended by this joke
 
2012-08-29 09:07:09 AM
That one was a bit too much for me. The 1400 things entry is way better. This one made me uncomfortable.
 
2012-08-29 10:18:10 AM

Smeggy Smurf: There are no gay marines. There are only sailors.


Seamen.
 
2012-08-29 10:28:21 AM
Ah, perfect satire: it makes people squirm because it's too nuts to be entirely believable, but too believable to be entirely nuts.
 
2012-08-29 06:17:55 PM
I enjoyed the article, but it could have had a better "punchline" from Romney in light of what actually happened at the RNC yesterday: "This is how we feed Republicans." Nice red meat!
 
2012-08-29 10:38:33 PM
pissed kitty right the hell off

/but gods damn it, keep going, Onion.
//keep farking going
 
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