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(SFGate)   No. Your baby can't read. And you're an idiot for falling for those ads   (sfgate.com) divider line 61
    More: Stupid, Federal Trade Commission, flash cards  
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3848 clicks; posted to Business » on 28 Aug 2012 at 3:56 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-28 03:27:57 PM
My niece could read and write a little bit at 2 years, but not 9 mo. My kid can't even sit through a whole story book at 1 year. If this isn't blatantly false advertising, it's at least an unlikely factor in your child being able to read early.
 
2012-08-28 03:51:01 PM
all this "as seen on tv" shiat is scams but i'm totally getting an easyfeet
 
2012-08-28 03:55:31 PM
If anything, they can now say their baby makes better financial decisions than they do.
 
2012-08-28 04:01:17 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-28 04:06:49 PM

SpikeStrip: all this "as seen on tv" shiat is scams but i'm totally getting an easyfeet

   

kara.allthingsd.com 

/hot
 
2012-08-28 04:11:55 PM

cgraves67: My niece could read and write a little bit at 2 years, but not 9 mo. My kid can't even sit through a whole story book at 1 year. If this isn't blatantly false advertising, it's at least an unlikely factor in your child being able to read early.


It's totally a scam based on a childs ability to memorize. You know how if you read a kid a book 50000 times they can then "read" it to themselves? All they have done is memorize what words go with what page/picture etc. If you give them a book with the same story but pictures that don't match, or the pages out of order, they can't read the words.

All this "system" was doing was showing kids flash cards etc, with pictures or words and the kid could place a verbal word with the "picture" of a word. But ONLY in that context. Teach them the flash cards then just give them a book and you get nothing.
 
2012-08-28 04:13:14 PM
Maybe your baby can't read, but if a stupid kit is encouraging you to read to and interact with your child instead of plopping her down in front of the TV, I'm all for it.
 
2012-08-28 04:14:38 PM
The 'Baby can read' series is actually well done. We didn't get it until a year or so ago, when my daughter was 2, but it does a great job of teaching her the letters and words. One of the things I like best is that all the word are in different fonts, which fits in with the real world, I think some are even mixed case, with a capital letter at the beginning. Another thing I like is that after it shows the word and wipes it from the screen, you see the general outline of the word itself. Recognizing word shapes and letter combination shapes is just as important than learning the individual letters.

I think they're stretching the truth claiming your baby can read at 9 months, but I think the videos and flashcards are a great system The flashcards and books are well constructed, too.

Besides, my daughter was able to communicate with sign language between 9 months and a year, why would the basic concept of words and reading be so far fetched?
 
2012-08-28 04:17:32 PM

SpikeStrip: all this "as seen on tv" shiat is scams but i'm totally getting an easyfeet


I picked up one of those MagicMesh magnetic screen door things for my sliding glass door... actually works pretty well. The dogs like it too.
 
2012-08-28 04:19:13 PM
Phonics, biatches.
 
2012-08-28 04:22:35 PM

DoBeDoBeDo:
It's totally a scam based on a childs ability to memorize. You know how if you read a kid a book 50000 times they can then "read" it to themselves? All they have done is memorize what words go with what page/picture etc. If you give them a book with the same story but pictures that don't match, or the pages out of order, they can't read the words.

All this "system" was doing was showing kids flash cards etc, with pictures or words and the kid could place a verbal word with the "picture" of a word. But ONLY in that context. Teach them the flash cards then just give them a book and you get nothing.


What do you think reading is? You are told the letters, how they sound, and you memorize it. That's all you do until you get into phonics years after you learn to read. They had videos and flash cards, as well as the books. The pictures would be different, they would say 'Suzy is on the horse', then the word horse would come up. They used these word sin full sentences, they would remove the word, leave the outline, and I believe on some they would have the word unfurl as they said it. Either way, it's exactly how you learned to read yourself, and how kids learn to read in school. Picture of cat, with the word 'Cat' underneath.

I bought it, and have no problem that I spent the money. It would seem that you have never used it.
 
2012-08-28 04:25:48 PM

Mikey1969: DoBeDoBeDo:
It's totally a scam based on a childs ability to memorize. You know how if you read a kid a book 50000 times they can then "read" it to themselves? All they have done is memorize what words go with what page/picture etc. If you give them a book with the same story but pictures that don't match, or the pages out of order, they can't read the words.

All this "system" was doing was showing kids flash cards etc, with pictures or words and the kid could place a verbal word with the "picture" of a word. But ONLY in that context. Teach them the flash cards then just give them a book and you get nothing.

Either way, it's exactly how you learned to read yourself, and how kids learn to read in school
. Picture of cat, with the word 'Cat' underneath.



That's EXACTLY the point. It's nothing different than what is normally done. At 9 months a kid isn't "reading" they are memorizing a picture IN CONTEXT. Reading is being able to understand the word in ANY CONTEXT. Which a 9 month old can't do. They aren't "reading" the cards they are regurgitating the sound they associate with the context.
 
2012-08-28 04:28:54 PM

Mikey1969: DoBeDoBeDo:
It's totally a scam based on a childs ability to memorize. You know how if you read a kid a book 50000 times they can then "read" it to themselves? All they have done is memorize what words go with what page/picture etc. If you give them a book with the same story but pictures that don't match, or the pages out of order, they can't read the words.

All this "system" was doing was showing kids flash cards etc, with pictures or words and the kid could place a verbal word with the "picture" of a word. But ONLY in that context. Teach them the flash cards then just give them a book and you get nothing.

What do you think reading is? You are told the letters, how they sound, and you memorize it. That's all you do until you get into phonics years after you learn to read. They had videos and flash cards, as well as the books. The pictures would be different, they would say 'Suzy is on the horse', then the word horse would come up. They used these word sin full sentences, they would remove the word, leave the outline, and I believe on some they would have the word unfurl as they said it. Either way, it's exactly how you learned to read yourself, and how kids learn to read in school. Picture of cat, with the word 'Cat' underneath.

I bought it, and have no problem that I spent the money. It would seem that you have never used it.


I taught my kid the alphabet, then taught her the alphabet again phonetically. And I labelled everything in the house with little stickers. And I read to her every night. She got moved up to first grade two days after starting kindergarten. Other than the cost of the labels and books, my system was free.
 
2012-08-28 04:31:03 PM

SundaesChild:

I taught my kid the alphabet, then taught her the alphabet again phonetically. And I labelled everything in the house with little stickers. And I read to her every night. She got moved up to first grade two days after starting kindergarten. Other than the cost of the labels and books, my system was free.


She's still going to wreck your car at some point. :)
 
2012-08-28 04:32:47 PM

Hot Carl To Go: SundaesChild:

I taught my kid the alphabet, then taught her the alphabet again phonetically. And I labelled everything in the house with little stickers. And I read to her every night. She got moved up to first grade two days after starting kindergarten. Other than the cost of the labels and books, my system was free.

She's still going to wreck your car at some point. :)


Ugh! Don't remind me. She just got her license last month and took her first solo drive yesterday.
 
2012-08-28 04:35:12 PM
It's a little late for the FTC to be coming in NOW after they've already sold over a million copies of their lying garbage.

Wouldn't it have been simple to ask for the studies immediately and then slap a ban on further advertisement until proven?
 
2012-08-28 04:35:21 PM
My 5 y.o. (at the time) niece saw one of their ads on TV, turned to me and said, "Why didn't you guys get that for me when I was a baby?????"

/CSB
 
2012-08-28 04:36:59 PM
I taught brap jr. to read by tossing him a pickled herring everytime I got a sentence right.  We're halfway through War and Peace and he already is a big as an elephant seal. The kid is a got damn genius but I guess I forgot the imortance of fitness.
 
I guess I better teach him to fetch with a cheesecake cannon.
 
2012-08-28 04:38:38 PM

SundaesChild: I taught my kid the alphabet, then taught her the alphabet again phonetically. And I labelled everything in the house with little stickers. And I read to her every night. She got moved up to first grade two days after starting kindergarten. Other than the cost of the labels and books, my system was free.


And that's fine, too. This was a rather nicely put together system, regardless of what DoBeDoBeDo says. Whatever works is fine by me, but this isn't some poorly put together piece of shiat.
 
2012-08-28 04:40:18 PM

DoBeDoBeDo: That's EXACTLY the point. It's nothing different than what is normally done. At 9 months a kid isn't "reading" they are memorizing a picture IN CONTEXT. Reading is being able to understand the word in ANY CONTEXT. Which a 9 month old can't do. They aren't "reading" the cards they are regurgitating the sound they associate with the context.


Then what you're saying is that any kid's book aimed at being a reading book is a ripoff of some kind because somewhere else it's free. Nice logic.
 
2012-08-28 04:45:07 PM

brap: I taught brap jr. to read by tossing him a pickled herring everytime I got a sentence right.  We're halfway through War and Peace and he already is a big as an elephant seal. The kid is a got damn genius but I guess I forgot the imortance of fitness.
 
I guess I better teach him to fetch with a cheesecake cannon.


This is the only flaw I see in your plan.
 
2012-08-28 04:53:04 PM
Stupid babies need the most attention.
 
2012-08-28 04:56:33 PM

Kittypie070: Phonics fonix, biatches.


fixed it for you
 
2012-08-28 04:59:01 PM
Reading is over-rated. Teach them how to beat up other kids and force the nerds to do the work for them, while your kid sits back and reaps the rewards of their labor.
 
2012-08-28 05:18:28 PM
Just plop them in front of the TV. My 5YO can count to 100, read simple words, etc. I'm not saying this is extraordinary, but I will say she learned almost all of this by watching Nick Jr and Sprout for a couple of hours a day. Kids' TV these days is remarkably educational. She learns a lot more in 20 minutes of Team Umizoomi than she does playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with me.
 
2012-08-28 05:24:04 PM
But according to E-Trade, infants can make investment trades through a smartphone. Anything is possible.
 
2012-08-28 05:24:23 PM

AiryAnne: Stupid babies need the most attention.


Nice! LOL.....
 
2012-08-28 05:30:51 PM

brap: I taught brap jr. to read by tossing him a pickled herring everytime I got a sentence right.  We're halfway through War and Peace and he already is a big as an elephant seal. The kid is a got damn genius but I guess I forgot the imortance of fitness.
 
I guess I better teach him to fetch with a cheesecake cannon.


I would like to subscribe to your newsletter, etc.
 
2012-08-28 05:47:49 PM
CSB -- When we took our son in for testing to see if he could start kindergarten early. (he just barely made the cutoff) The teacher took a book and opened it to the first page where the story started. She then asked him "where do you start reading?" She wanted to see him point the upper left of the first page.

Well he looks at her and turns the page back to the beginning of the book and tells her The title page.
 
2012-08-28 05:48:17 PM
Clearly no Farkers her can read

FTAThe agency has filed a complaint against the man behind the "Your Baby Can Read" program, Robert Titzer.  

Make with the jokes, frat
 
2012-08-28 05:53:10 PM

pounddawg: CSB -- When we took our son in for testing to see if he could start kindergarten early. (he just barely made the cutoff) The teacher took a book and opened it to the first page where the story started. She then asked him "where do you start reading?" She wanted to see him point the upper left of the first page.

Well he looks at her and turns the page back to the beginning of the book and tells her The title page.


Your kid rocks.
 
2012-08-28 05:58:20 PM
Just needs a disclaimer, and it's good.

"your baby can read!*"
*Unless you kid is stupid, which it most likely is.**
**We actually offer a guarantee that your brat is a moron.
 
2012-08-28 05:58:40 PM

Ed Willy: Clearly no Farkers her can read

FTAThe agency has filed a complaint against the man behind the "Your Baby Can Read" program, Robert Titzer.  

Make with the jokes, frat


He is a distant relative of Otto Titzling, the inventor of the brassiere.
 
2012-08-28 06:11:42 PM

SundaesChild: Maybe your baby can't read, but if a stupid kit is encouraging you to read to and interact with your child instead of plopping her down in front of the TV, I'm all for it.


Unfortunately, the whole premise of this program is to plop them down in front of a tv
 
2012-08-28 07:17:06 PM

Three-Fifty: My 5 y.o. (at the time) niece saw one of their ads on TV, turned to me and said, "Why didn't you guys get that for me when I was a baby?????"

/CSB


Next time she asks you something like that, tell her it's because you love her, just not that much.
 
2012-08-28 07:53:52 PM

Hot Carl To Go: SundaesChild:

I taught my kid the alphabet, then taught her the alphabet again phonetically. And I labelled everything in the house with little stickers. And I read to her every night. She got moved up to first grade two days after starting kindergarten. Other than the cost of the labels and books, my system was free.

She's still going to wreck your car at some point. :)


And sneak out of the house. :)
 
2012-08-28 08:08:38 PM
Something tells me the smartest babies don't come from parents who buy shiat like this from infomercials.
 
2012-08-28 08:28:09 PM

turbidum: Three-Fifty: My 5 y.o. (at the time) niece saw one of their ads on TV, turned to me and said, "Why didn't you guys get that for me when I was a baby?????"

/CSB

Next time she asks you something like that, tell her it's because you love her, just not that much.


I've tried that response with my g/f's little sister, who is around 10. Sadly she doesn't get sarcasm at all.

Well it's still funny, to me actually...
 
2012-08-28 08:46:12 PM

AliceBToklasLives: Ed Willy: Clearly no Farkers her can read

FTAThe agency has filed a complaint against the man behind the "Your Baby Can Read" program, Robert Titzer.  

Make with the jokes, frat

He is a distant relative of Otto Titzling, the inventor of the brassiere.


The real inventor of the brassiere, Erich Von Boobsak, sadly went broke trying to fight Titzling for his rightful patent.
 
amo [TotalFark]
2012-08-28 09:11:36 PM

DoBeDoBeDo: cgraves67: My niece could read and write a little bit at 2 years, but not 9 mo. My kid can't even sit through a whole story book at 1 year. If this isn't blatantly false advertising, it's at least an unlikely factor in your child being able to read early.

It's totally a scam based on a childs ability to memorize. You know how if you read a kid a book 50000 times they can then "read" it to themselves? All they have done is memorize what words go with what page/picture etc. If you give them a book with the same story but pictures that don't match, or the pages out of order, they can't read the words.


This is exactly how my mom taught me how to read, but she pointed to the words as she read them. Then she'd point to things on the page and ask questions about them. "How many trucks are on the page? What color is this one? Which one is your favorite?" Things like that. By 2 1/2, I was opening the Dr. Seuss I Can Read book shipments we got every month and reading them without any assistance. Mom didn't believe it, so we went to a library and she picked out some books she knew I couldn't have seen before, and I read them too.

So yeah, it's a scam if you honestly think a baby who is just getting good at crawling is going to be able to pick up a Goosebumps book. But reading by age 3? Absolutely possible. The key is not to be lazy and have a screen teach your kid. Millions of years of evolution has primed kids to learn from other humans, not screens.
 
2012-08-28 09:54:11 PM

amo: This is exactly how my mom taught me how to read, but she pointed to the words as she read them. Then she'd point to things on the page and ask questions about them. "How many trucks are on the page? What color is this one? Which one is your favorite?" Things like that. By 2 1/2, I was opening the Dr. Seuss I Can Read book shipments we got every month and reading them without any assistance. Mom didn't believe it, so we went to a library and she picked out some books she knew I couldn't have seen before, and I read them too.

So yeah, it's a scam if you honestly think a baby who is just getting good at crawling is going to be able to pick up a Goosebumps book. But reading by age 3? Absolutely possible. The key is not to be lazy and have a screen teach your kid. Millions of years of evolution has primed kids to learn from other humans, not screens.


I'm with you amo.

Kids can learn how to read at 2-3. According to my mom and dad, I taught myself how to read when I was 2-1/2. My first memory consisted of reading a series of flashcards with new words and sentences because my dad - an early childhood development specialist - was convinced that I had memorized my books. I remember that I was cruising through the cards until I stumbled on the word "laugh". I love my dad, and everyone says he was a phenomenal educator. But I don't think that a 2-1/2 year old child should have to sit through a lecture on blends, digraphs and diphthongs.

/To his credit, I still remember the lecture, so I guess he knew what he was doing.
 
amo [TotalFark]
2012-08-28 10:21:22 PM

cerwen: I remember that I was cruising through the cards until I stumbled on the word "laugh".


Heh, mine was "Connecticut." English don't make no sense.

cerwen: I don't think that a 2-1/2 year old child should have to sit through a lecture on blends, digraphs and diphthongs.


At that age, none of that makes sense anyway. Humans are primed to learn how to communicate, not diagram sentences.
 
2012-08-28 11:05:39 PM
What's wrong with the slap chop? You slap it, it chops. How can it go wrong?
/do not own one
 
2012-08-28 11:15:19 PM

pounddawg: CSB -- When we took our son in for testing to see if he could start kindergarten early. (he just barely made the cutoff) The teacher took a book and opened it to the first page where the story started. She then asked him "where do you start reading?" She wanted to see him point the upper left of the first page.

Well he looks at her and turns the page back to the beginning of the book and tells her The title page.


i love you. i wish more parents do what you do.
 
2012-08-28 11:32:07 PM
thecollegeguidebook.files.wordpress.com

Baby...you're pear-shaped.

/Gotta statrt the negative reinforcement early.
 
2012-08-29 12:00:03 AM
Nintendo pretty much taught me to read at 2 and a half. Might not have been great for my social development.
 
2012-08-29 12:05:25 AM
For no reason at all, whenever that infommercial came on I read it as, "Your baby can FLY!". I cracked myself up.

//csb
 
2012-08-29 12:07:32 AM

amo: DoBeDoBeDo: cgraves67: My niece could read and write a little bit at 2 years, but not 9 mo. My kid can't even sit through a whole story book at 1 year. If this isn't blatantly false advertising, it's at least an unlikely factor in your child being able to read early.

It's totally a scam based on a childs ability to memorize. You know how if you read a kid a book 50000 times they can then "read" it to themselves? All they have done is memorize what words go with what page/picture etc. If you give them a book with the same story but pictures that don't match, or the pages out of order, they can't read the words.

This is exactly how my mom taught me how to read, but she pointed to the words as she read them. Then she'd point to things on the page and ask questions about them. "How many trucks are on the page? What color is this one? Which one is your favorite?" Things like that. By 2 1/2, I was opening the Dr. Seuss I Can Read book shipments we got every month and reading them without any assistance. Mom didn't believe it, so we went to a library and she picked out some books she knew I couldn't have seen before, and I read them too.

So yeah, it's a scam if you honestly think a baby who is just getting good at crawling is going to be able to pick up a Goosebumps book. But reading by age 3? Absolutely possible. The key is not to be lazy and have a screen teach your kid. Millions of years of evolution has primed kids to learn from other humans, not screens.


That baby on the box is not 3. My nephew could read fairly well at 3 because he wanted to learn the Nintendo cheats in the magazines and his parents would use them as bait. But he was long past the drool stage when the lightbulb clicked on.
 
amo [TotalFark]
2012-08-29 12:22:41 AM

zenobia: That baby on the box is not 3.


Agreed. Unless they're implying that's the age you need to start using the product, but putting "baby" in the name is still misleading. Babies just don't have the cognitive development to talk, much less read.

zenobia: My nephew could read fairly well at 3 because he wanted to learn the Nintendo cheats in the magazines and his parents would use them as bait.


That. Is. Awesome! Not only that his parents used them as bait, but that the kid was able to make the connection between something he wanted to know, and how to get that knowledge. Smart cookie.
 
2012-08-29 02:08:42 AM

EnviroDude: Kittypie070: Phonics fonix, biatches.

fixed it for you


Actually I think its spelled 'fonix' but its pronounced 'throat warbler mangrove'.
 
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