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(Chicago Trib)   Energy drink makers face attorney general probe, though the AG's office is expected to drop the investigation after 5 hours due to lack of motivation   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 41
    More: Silly, Eric Schneiderman, investigation, PepsiCo, food cart  
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1087 clicks; posted to Business » on 28 Aug 2012 at 4:48 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-28 04:59:59 PM
But the vaguely MILFY lady on TV has huge stack of probably not-blank papers documenting the hundreds of people that are biologists of some sort that have pinky sworn that Brawndo is what plants crave.
 
2012-08-28 05:02:23 PM
I saw a 5 Hour Energy commercial, just last night, where they were basically trying to imply that doctors are recommend it on the basis of a survey where 70% of doctors stated that they would recommend that their patients who drink energy drinks should drink low calorie versions of those drinks.

Somehow, this got construed to "doctor recommended" rather than "if you're going to put this crap in your system, you might as well try to minimize the amount of sugar and fat you're putting in at the same time."

It struck me as being right on the line of false advertising, so I wonder if this is what that's about.
 
2012-08-28 05:05:15 PM
You can pop a B-complex vitamin and a no-doze to get the same effect without the sugar.
 
2012-08-28 05:12:04 PM
Energy drink manufacturers downplay that their products are the same as sugar, b vitamins, and water?

The 'energy blend' in the energy shot sitting in front of me includes 'taurine, maltic acid, caffeine, glucoronolacetone, n-acetyl l-typrosine, and l-phenylalanine'. I'm not really able to distinguish its effects from the 'caffeine anhydrous 200mg' pills that cost a fraction of the price.
 
2012-08-28 05:24:10 PM
adenosine: The 'energy blend' in the energy shot sitting in front of me includes 'taurine, maltic acid, caffeine, glucoronolacetone, n-acetyl l-typrosine, and l-phenylalanine'. I'm not really able to distinguish its effects from the 'caffeine anhydrous 200mg' pills that cost a fraction of the price.

That

c1.soap.com

~$6.97 for a 100 tablet bottle (amazon.com)
Caffeine Content: 200 mg / pill
Cost per dose: 7 cents per tablet
0 calories

www.pain4glory.com
~$23.02 for a 12 bottle pack at amazon
Caffeine Content: 138 mg / bottle
cost per dose: $1.92 per bottle
0 calories
 
2012-08-28 05:26:10 PM
^

buy the pills and use the $1.85 difference to buy a sobe.
 
2012-08-28 05:33:25 PM
well. considering that Taurine, an ingredient in some of these is a CAT FOOD ADDITIVE, it's about time..
 
2012-08-28 05:48:29 PM
drugs are GOOD!!!


(if you sell drugs, anyways)
 
2012-08-28 05:49:02 PM

Artcurus: well. considering that Taurine, an ingredient in some of these is a CAT FOOD ADDITIVE, it's about time..


My cat got insomnia from that stuff.
He was only sleeping 20 hours a day.
 
2012-08-28 05:50:04 PM
Caffeine: Gives you energy now, but you'll have to pay it back at a later date.

no such thing as free energy. you get X amount of energy every day. no more and no less. --God
 
2012-08-28 05:51:28 PM
those 5 hour energy drinks would probably work better (and be healthier) if you stuck them up your ass.
 
2012-08-28 06:00:45 PM

Artcurus: well. considering that Taurine, an ingredient in some of these is a CAT FOOD ADDITIVE, it's about time..


My cat eats chicken, so I suppose chicken must be bad for humans.

/also eats asparagus - so I guess that's out too
//yes - weird cat
 
2012-08-28 06:06:11 PM
I like the occasional Monster or Full Throttle in the morning as an alternative to coffee. Same benefits, minus the violent 10am toilet-shaking colon blow. Plus the buzz does seem to taper off more gradually.

Fark Red Bull though, that stuff is a rip-off.
 
2012-08-28 06:34:20 PM
Is New York going to screw up energy drinks for everyone?

When did New York become the buzzkill state?
 
2012-08-28 07:34:35 PM
Monster is the leading energy drink in the United States by volume, ahead of Austria's Red Bull GmbH

Never mind Monster's always lagged Redbull's market share by at least 10-20%

/Redbull : 8.4oz, 12oz, 16 oz
//Monster : 16oz, 24oz, 32 (oh god, why) oz
///By volume my arse
 
2012-08-28 08:14:48 PM

ProfessorOhki: Monster is the leading energy drink in the United States by volume, ahead of Austria's Red Bull GmbH

Never mind Monster's always lagged Redbull's market share by at least 10-20%

/Redbull : 8.4oz, 12oz, 16 oz
//Monster : 16oz, 24oz, 32 (oh god, why) oz
///By volume my arse


Oh I missed that, I was wondering when monster passed red bull since I thought I read it out sold all the other drinks combined. Fu*k monster that stuff tastes like cat piss smells.

Besides for energy just get a script for adderal, $5 co-pay so its the cheapest energy pill out there....
 
2012-08-28 09:54:10 PM

Mad_Radhu: But the vaguely MILFY lady on TV has huge stack of probably not-blank papers documenting the hundreds of people that are biologists of some sort that have pinky sworn that Brawndo is what plants crave.


Hey man, A bunch of those doctors who bothered to respond to the survey told her that if their clients wanted an energy then they would advise one that was lower calorie.

Therefore it follows that doctors want us all chugging 5 hour energy.

I don't know whether to laugh at the people who watch that commercial and are too stupid to see the trickery to what she says or be disgusted at businesses lying in commercials.
 
2012-08-28 10:30:14 PM
I use the 5 hour energy drink about once a week. Its the only thing Ive found that works to give me a boost and sharpen me up mentally. I did try Monster energy drink one day when I got one for free, and I noticed a small boost of energy but not enough to make me want to drink another one.
 
2012-08-28 10:53:03 PM
Smackledorfer: I don't know whether to laugh at the people who watch that commercial and are too stupid to

I was recently out of town on a trip, and watched some TV during my downtime.

And, how the FARK do people watch TV these days without a DVR?

// spoiled by tivo
 
2012-08-28 11:42:17 PM

lordargent: Smackledorfer: I don't know whether to laugh at the people who watch that commercial and are too stupid to

I was recently out of town on a trip, and watched some TV during my downtime.

And, how the FARK do people watch TV these days without a DVR?

// spoiled by tivo


I either download, hulu, or flip. Sometimes you just want to veg out for a short bit, and that's flipping time. You end up with a touch of commercials.
 
2012-08-29 12:53:23 AM

Some 'Splainin' To Do: I saw a 5 Hour Energy commercial, just last night, where they were basically trying to imply that doctors are recommend it on the basis of a survey where 70% of doctors stated that they would recommend that their patients who drink energy drinks should drink low calorie versions of those drinks.

Somehow, this got construed to "doctor recommended" rather than "if you're going to put this crap in your system, you might as well try to minimize the amount of sugar and fat you're putting in at the same time."

It struck me as being right on the line of false advertising, so I wonder if this is what that's about.




I know the commercial you're talking about. She comes across as a female Lionel Hutz. I was wondering how long it was going to take for the FTC to come down on them for their claims. NY beat them to it.

As for energy drinks themselves, Xenergy's Cherry Lime is the nectar of the gods. It's replaced coffee for my morning shot of energy.
 
2012-08-29 01:03:28 AM

Whatthefark: female Lionel Hutz.


Nice. I lol'd

I also hate her smug look at the end of the commercial. I hate smug more than anything in people.
 
2012-08-29 02:29:52 AM
Look Ma, no wings ;)
 
2012-08-29 03:18:12 AM

Smackledorfer: Whatthefark: female Lionel Hutz.

Nice. I lol'd

I also hate her smug look at the end of the commercial. I hate smug more than anything in people.


and yet here you are on Fark.
 
2012-08-29 06:08:35 AM
Count me a believer in these things. I am a huge coffee drinker and two weeks ago I decided I was dependent and to stop drinking it for a while. Having one of these little juices in the middle of my awake period alleviated the majority of the sleepiness and headaches for the first week. The knockoffs are only 0.79 where I shop. So the whole thing works fine for me, without giving a fig about calorie counts or the doctors' recommendations.
 
2012-08-29 06:53:23 AM

Artcurus: well. considering that Taurine, an ingredient in some of these is a CAT FOOD ADDITIVE, it's about time..


This has to be trolling. If so, 0/10.
 
2012-08-29 07:54:31 AM
$3.00 for half a can of Mountain...oops...MTN Dew.

How do I get in on that racket?
 
2012-08-29 09:00:51 AM

Mad_Radhu: But the vaguely MILFY lady on TV has huge stack of probably not-blank papers documenting the hundreds of people that are biologists of some sort that have pinky sworn that Brawndo is what plants crave.


Are you talking about Coupon Suzy? Cause I'd bone the crap out of Coupon Suzy after a couple 5 Hour Energy shots.
 
2012-08-29 09:22:53 AM
I just had a 5hr Energy.

Kicks, replies, etc.
 
2012-08-29 10:01:37 AM
The only thing less effective than 5 hour energy is their ads. An energy cowboy? Really??
 
2012-08-29 10:03:57 AM

Terrified Asexual Forcemeat: Count me a believer in these things. I am a huge coffee drinker and two weeks ago I decided I was dependent and to stop drinking it for a while. Having one of these little juices in the middle of my awake period alleviated the majority of the sleepiness and headaches for the first week. The knockoffs are only 0.79 where I shop. So the whole thing works fine for me, without giving a fig about calorie counts or the doctors' recommendations.



What's the point of replacing nice tasting caffine (coffee) with bad tasting caffine (energy drink)? You're still getting your stimulant fix, but denying yourself one of the world's nicest drinks. It's like giving up wine and replacing it with methalted spirts.
 
2012-08-29 10:34:01 AM

Bad_Seed: Terrified Asexual Forcemeat: Count me a believer in these things. I am a huge coffee drinker and two weeks ago I decided I was dependent and to stop drinking it for a while. Having one of these little juices in the middle of my awake period alleviated the majority of the sleepiness and headaches for the first week. The knockoffs are only 0.79 where I shop. So the whole thing works fine for me, without giving a fig about calorie counts or the doctors' recommendations.


What's the point of replacing nice tasting caffine (coffee) with bad tasting caffine (energy drink)? You're still getting your stimulant fix, but denying yourself one of the world's nicest drinks. It's like giving up wine and replacing it with methalted spirts.


Point taken. I work a 12 hour graveyard shift and they have always supplied us with pretty good unlimited brew. I also took two math classes this summer, which just ended (two A's!). I was living on the stuff and it wasn't making me feel good to be drinking it all the time. Just too much of a good thing. The bottles are just...anti-headache meds.
 
2012-08-29 10:51:00 AM

Litterbox: I use the 5 hour energy drink about once a week. Its the only thing Ive found that works to give me a boost and sharpen me up mentally. I did try Monster energy drink one day when I got one for free, and I noticed a small boost of energy but not enough to make me want to drink another one.


I tried 5 Hour Energy once, in a pinch. My face turned red, my palms sweat, and it made me as jittery and nervous as I felt having to give a book report presentation in 4th grade. Never again. That stuff is like crack.
 
2012-08-29 10:53:48 AM

Bad_Seed: What's the point of replacing nice tasting caffine (coffee) with bad tasting caffine (energy drink)? You're still getting your stimulant fix, but denying yourself one of the world's nicest drinks. It's like giving up wine and replacing it with methalted spirts.


It's a different buzz. Coffee buzz is short lived and makes me poop hard. Plus, cheap coffee doesn't taste that great. And good coffee is more expensive than energy drinks. And still makes me poop.
 
2012-08-29 11:31:59 AM

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Bad_Seed: What's the point of replacing nice tasting caffine (coffee) with bad tasting caffine (energy drink)? You're still getting your stimulant fix, but denying yourself one of the world's nicest drinks. It's like giving up wine and replacing it with methalted spirts.

It's a different buzz. Coffee buzz is short lived and makes me poop hard. Plus, cheap coffee doesn't taste that great. And good coffee is more expensive than energy drinks. And still makes me poop.


WTF? I'd be willing to wager you're in your 20's. As I near 40, the poop-inducing effects of coffee are one of the primary benefits, not a negative side-effect.

Oh, yeah. Daddy's Italian roast gets him a-rumblin'!
 
2012-08-29 12:27:10 PM

Bad_Seed: What's the point of replacing nice tasting caffine (coffee) with bad tasting caffine (energy drink)? You're still getting your stimulant fix, but denying yourself one of the world's nicest drinks. It's like giving up wine and replacing it with methalted spirts.


Yup, also coffee has some flavanoids and shiat that are probably good for you. This guy should have kicked his caffeine habit by weaning himself onto decaf.

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: I tried 5 Hour Energy once, in a pinch. My face turned red, my palms sweat, and it made me as jittery and nervous as I felt having to give a book report presentation in 4th grade. Never again. That stuff is like crack.


Niacin flush. It goes away after a few uses for most people.
 
2012-08-29 08:06:03 PM
Minotaur! Taste the beast!
 
2012-08-29 08:07:49 PM
digitalpimponline.com

Oops. Forgot this.
 
2012-08-30 12:20:41 AM

Smackledorfer: Bad_Seed: What's the point of replacing nice tasting caffine (coffee) with bad tasting caffine (energy drink)? You're still getting your stimulant fix, but denying yourself one of the world's nicest drinks. It's like giving up wine and replacing it with methalted spirts.

Yup, also coffee has some flavanoids and shiat that are probably good for you. This guy should have kicked his caffeine habit by weaning himself onto decaf.


What's a flavanoid? What does anything mean? I'm so tired.
 
2012-08-30 01:25:46 AM

Terrified Asexual Forcemeat: Smackledorfer: Bad_Seed: What's the point of replacing nice tasting caffine (coffee) with bad tasting caffine (energy drink)? You're still getting your stimulant fix, but denying yourself one of the world's nicest drinks. It's like giving up wine and replacing it with methalted spirts.

Yup, also coffee has some flavanoids and shiat that are probably good for you. This guy should have kicked his caffeine habit by weaning himself onto decaf.

What's a flavanoid? What does anything mean? I'm so tired.


An antioxidant.
 
2012-08-30 05:03:25 PM
Terrified Asexual Forcemeat : What's a flavanoid?

heavenhollywood.files.wordpress.com + farm3.static.flickr.com
 
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