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(SF Weekly)   GOP Jesus: Celebrated deity who preached that "the poor should get a damned job already" and that all human suffering could be averted by simply lowering the capital gains tax   (sfweekly.com) divider line 191
    More: Amusing, GOP, capital gains taxes, Republican, history of human sexuality, wash rooms, class warfare, bioethics, child labor laws  
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9790 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Aug 2012 at 12:30 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-28 09:02:36 AM  
While I agreed with many of the article writer's points the view "amusing" is a bit of a stretch.
 
2012-08-28 09:23:38 AM  
encrypted-tbn2.google.com
 
2012-08-28 09:25:56 AM  

vernonFL: [commonsensejesus]


Yes, more Republican Jesus, Libertarian Jesus and Common Sense Jesus pics, please!
 
2012-08-28 09:30:29 AM  
You really should stop abusing Jesus that way, you'll get him all cross.
 
2012-08-28 10:04:34 AM  
www.politicsplus.org
 
2012-08-28 10:06:39 AM  
encrypted-tbn2.google.com
 
2012-08-28 10:07:20 AM  
encrypted-tbn3.google.com
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-08-28 10:09:38 AM  
 
2012-08-28 10:21:42 AM  
the DNC should also have a debt clock. no they should have 2. one showing what it would be without the Reagan and Bush tax cuts and govt expansions.
 
2012-08-28 10:29:41 AM  

quatchi: While I agreed with many of the article writer's points the view "amusing" is a bit of a stretch.


Yeah, I was about to say that.
That's the same kind of "humor" conservatives use to make fun of liberals.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-08-28 10:34:46 AM  
www.atheistmemebase.com
 
2012-08-28 10:42:16 AM  
Republican Jesus doesn't seem to have much in common with Bible Jesus.
 
2012-08-28 10:48:13 AM  

Weaver95: Republican Jesus doesn't seem to have much in common with Bible Jesus.


Bible Jesus was known to hang out with female prostitutes.
 
2012-08-28 10:57:46 AM  

vernonFL: Weaver95: Republican Jesus doesn't seem to have much in common with Bible Jesus.

Bible Jesus was known to hang out with female prostitutes.


hmm...and he also beat up bankers. plus, he would have been totally cool with pot smoking hippies.
 
2012-08-28 11:13:55 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-28 11:20:43 AM  
Jesus on Taxes: (Matthew 17:24...)


After Jesus and his disciples arrived in Capernaum, the collectors of the two-drachma temple tax came to Apostle Peter and asked, "Doesn't your teacher pay the temple tax?" And Peter replied: "Yes, he does".

When Peter came into the house, Jesus was the first to speak and said:

"What do you think, Simon?" he asked. "From whom do the kings of the earth collect duty and taxes-from their own children or from others?"

"From others," Peter answered. "Then the children are exempt," Jesus said to him, implying that as the son of God, he is exempt from paying God's tax. Then Jesus said:

"But so that we may not cause offense, go to the lake and throw out your line. Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours."
 
2012-08-28 11:30:41 AM  
From the book of James, Chapter Two. The GOP must have bibles without this in it.

2 My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. 2 Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. 3 If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," 4 have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

5 Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? 6 But you have dishonored the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? 7 Are they not the ones who are blaspheming the noble name of him to whom you belong?

8 If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself,"[a] you are doing right. 9 But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. 10 For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. 11 For he who said, "You shall not commit adultery," also said, "You shall not murder."[c] If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.

12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, 13 because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment
.


Here's another good site with verse and scripture regarding biblical reference to the poor, how they should be treated, what happens to those who don't serve the poor, and other poors related topics. great resource for topics regarding christians and the poor.

The Bible and the Poors

Is. 10:1-3. "Woe to those who enact evil statutes, and to those who continually record unjust decisions, so as to deprive the needy of justice, and rob the poor of My people of their rights... Now what will you do in the day of punishment, and in the devastation which will come from afar?"
 
2012-08-28 12:28:43 PM  
i293.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-28 12:34:37 PM  
i.qkme.me
 
2012-08-28 12:34:56 PM  

rudemix: From the book of James, Chapter Two. The GOP must have bibles without this in it.

2 My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. 2 Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. 3 If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," 4 have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

5 Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? 6 But you have dishonored the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? 7 Are they not the ones who are blaspheming the noble name of him to whom you belong?

8 If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself,"[a] you are doing right. 9 But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. 10 For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. 11 For he who said, "You shall not commit adultery," also said, "You shall not murder."[c] If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.

12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, 13 because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.


Here's another good site with verse and scripture regarding biblical reference to the poor, how they should be treated, what happens to those who don't serve the poor, and other poors related topics. great resource for topics regarding christians and the poor.

The Bible and the Poors

Is. 10:1-3. "Woe to those who enact evil statutes, and to tho ...


You can quote all the Bible passages you want, these people pay very good money to hear what they want to be told.

And that's got fark all to do with their responsibilities towards Christ.
 
2012-08-28 12:36:05 PM  
encrypted-tbn3.google.com

The evolution of Biblical Jesus into Republican Jesus.
 
2012-08-28 12:36:39 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: You really should stop abusing Jesus that way, you'll get him all cross.


You have to admit, he really does get hung up on these things.
 
2012-08-28 12:37:36 PM  
um, that wasn't much better than the townhall link list over in the politics tab.

Yes, it is tempting to fight derp with derp...but come on, it doesn't work.
 
2012-08-28 12:38:11 PM  

Arachnophobe: I_Am_Weasel: You really should stop abusing Jesus that way, you'll get him all cross.

You have to admit, he really does get hung up on these things.


nailed it!
 
2012-08-28 12:38:13 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: You really should stop abusing Jesus that way, you'll get him all cross.


nailed it!
 
2012-08-28 12:38:17 PM  
"I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

-- Mohandas Gandhi
 
2012-08-28 12:39:14 PM  

rudemix: From the book of James, Chapter Two. The GOP must have bibles without this in it.


My favorite Bible verse of all time is 2nd Samuel 10:4

"So Hanun seized David's men, shaved off half of each man's beard, cut off their garments in the middle at the buttocks, and sent them away."

Sounds a lot more relevant to GOP policy nowadays.
 
2012-08-28 12:39:19 PM  

born_yesterday: You can quote all the Bible passages you want, these people pay very good money to hear what they want to be told.


Well, the beauty of the Bible is that it's a large book that's been translated many times and is stuffed with allegory, parable, metaphor and only the slightest dash of history. Like a horoscope or tarot cards, you're going to find in it whatever you set out to find.
 
2012-08-28 12:39:36 PM  
This is as stupid as the "25 examples of what America would look like under liberals." that we had earlier.

It's the same bullshiat from my side that was just vomited out of Tard Hall. Just a meaningless list of hyperbole ,conjecture and stereotypes that only further increases the divide instead of trying to do something useful.

I'm a god damned liberal and i think this is on the same level of derp as Beitbart, we have to hold our own to the same standards we want to hold our opponents to.

to sum up.

thesignalinthenoise.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-08-28 12:41:57 PM  
 
2012-08-28 12:41:58 PM  
Pete Kotz - An American "web" reporter whom used the old tried and true dictionary of terms storytelling gag to get across his version of fair and balanced journalistic reporting.
 
2012-08-28 12:43:23 PM  

Expolaris: This is as stupid as the "25 examples of what America would look like under liberals." that we had earlier.

It's the same bullshiat from my side that was just vomited out of Tard Hall. Just a meaningless list of hyperbole ,conjecture and stereotypes that only further increases the divide instead of trying to do something useful.

I'm a god damned liberal and i think this is on the same level of derp as Beitbart, we have to hold our own to the same standards we want to hold our opponents to.

to sum up.

[thesignalinthenoise.files.wordpress.com image 300x225]


This. Not only that, the list isn't original or funny. It is retarded.
 
2012-08-28 12:43:49 PM  
Note the terrible libs in here admitting openly that this is stupid.

Both sides are soooooo bad.
 
2012-08-28 12:43:51 PM  
i512.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-28 12:43:53 PM  
the GOP demands murder just as the democrats do; neither party represents the teachings of Christ.
 
2012-08-28 12:44:13 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-08-28 12:44:24 PM  
If Ceasar wants it so bad, let him come and get it. It's about time someone stood up to that guy.
 
2012-08-28 12:46:30 PM  
What is the Republican plan for when Jesus returns, and tells them in person that they have been pushing the exact opposite of His message lately? Do they try to crucify Him again or do they not take any chances and take Him out with a nuke?
Oh right, if they had even a tiny belief in anything beyond their own superiority they wouldn't act the way they do.

Here's a question; are Republicans born that way or is there some chance to save them if the cycle of abuse is broken early enough?
 
2012-08-28 12:46:36 PM  

Expolaris: This is as stupid as the "25 examples of what America would look like under liberals." that we had earlier.

It's the same bullshiat from my side that was just vomited out of Tard Hall. Just a meaningless list of hyperbole ,conjecture and stereotypes that only further increases the divide instead of trying to do something useful.

I'm a god damned liberal and i think this is on the same level of derp as Beitbart, we have to hold our own to the same standards we want to hold our opponents to.

to sum up.

[thesignalinthenoise.files.wordpress.com image 300x225]


Didn't read the article, but I am guessing they used more facts and quotes than pure TardHall conjecture. Dude, these zealots aren't even hiding it any more. Some priest scumbag in Washington state is telling his parishioners to donate to a GOP candidate. I am not saying that there isn't some blood on their hands here, but I have yet to find any leftwing blog or website that spews shiat as rancorous as TardHall and WorldNutsDaily.
 
2012-08-28 12:47:44 PM  
I have said many times before that if Jesus was alive today, he'd be a crunch-head hippie, neck deep in the Occupy movement.

He'd be hated by the establishment and would end up getting his head kicked, live on CNN, while 'resisting arrest'.
 
2012-08-28 12:48:38 PM  
th08.deviantart.net
 
2012-08-28 12:49:01 PM  

t3knomanser: born_yesterday: You can quote all the Bible passages you want, these people pay very good money to hear what they want to be told.

Well, the beauty of the Bible is that it's a large book that's been translated many times and is stuffed with allegory, parable, metaphor and only the slightest dash of history. Like a horoscope or tarot cards, you're going to find in it whatever you set out to find.


Really?

Where's the text on abortion, then?
 
2012-08-28 12:50:19 PM  

coeyagi: Expolaris: This is as stupid as the "25 examples of what America would look like under liberals." that we had earlier.

It's the same bullshiat from my side that was just vomited out of Tard Hall. Just a meaningless list of hyperbole ,conjecture and stereotypes that only further increases the divide instead of trying to do something useful.

I'm a god damned liberal and i think this is on the same level of derp as Beitbart, we have to hold our own to the same standards we want to hold our opponents to.

to sum up.

[thesignalinthenoise.files.wordpress.com image 300x225]

Didn't read the article, but I am guessing they used more facts and quotes than pure TardHall conjecture. Dude, these zealots aren't even hiding it any more. Some priest scumbag in Washington state is telling his parishioners to donate to a GOP candidate. I am not saying that there isn't some blood on their hands here, but I have yet to find any leftwing blog or website that spews shiat as rancorous as TardHall and WorldNutsDaily.


Ok, follow-up.

I just skimmed the article. A glossary of things the GOP has actually said or believes (at least the more conservative tea tard types). Not really helpful in terms of rhetoric, but not necessarily wrong. Again, it's not pure retarded conjecture like TardHall, so while not good, it's not the same.

False Equivalency Rating: 2/5.
 
2012-08-28 12:51:19 PM  
www.thedevilsdemons.com

/Just because
 
2012-08-28 12:52:02 PM  

Snowflake Tubbybottom: If Ceasar wants it so bad, let him come and get it. It's about time someone stood up to that guy.


They tried.  Didn't work out so well, though.
 
2012-08-28 12:52:15 PM  

rjakobi: Where's the text on abortion, then?


You're really missing the point of my statement, aren't you. Someone who wants to find something in the Bible to support their stance on abortion will find it. The idea that anyone uses the Bible as a moral or ethical guide is laughable- people use their community as their moral benchmark, and then mine the Bible to support their community's stances.
 
2012-08-28 12:53:10 PM  

t3knomanser: rjakobi: Where's the text on abortion, then?

You're really missing the point of my statement, aren't you. Someone who wants to find something in the Bible to support their stance on abortion will find it. The idea that anyone uses the Bible as a moral or ethical guide is laughable- people use their community as their moral benchmark, and then mine the Bible to support their community's stances.


This is fact. Back before the outbreak of the Civil War, BOTH sides used passages from the bible to both justify and condemn slavery.
 
2012-08-28 12:53:10 PM  
Why of course they do - the great preacher Beecher said as much. Look, libtards, we fought this battle in 1877 and you lost, get over it and get to work.
 
2012-08-28 12:55:08 PM  
i.qkme.me
 
2012-08-28 12:56:42 PM  

coeyagi: coeyagi: Expolaris: This is as stupid as the "25 examples of what America would look like under liberals." that we had earlier.

It's the same bullshiat from my side that was just vomited out of Tard Hall. Just a meaningless list of hyperbole ,conjecture and stereotypes that only further increases the divide instead of trying to do something useful.

I'm a god damned liberal and i think this is on the same level of derp as Beitbart, we have to hold our own to the same standards we want to hold our opponents to.

to sum up.

[thesignalinthenoise.files.wordpress.com image 300x225]

Didn't read the article, but I am guessing they used more facts and quotes than pure TardHall conjecture. Dude, these zealots aren't even hiding it any more. Some priest scumbag in Washington state is telling his parishioners to donate to a GOP candidate. I am not saying that there isn't some blood on their hands here, but I have yet to find any leftwing blog or website that spews shiat as rancorous as TardHall and WorldNutsDaily.

Ok, follow-up.

I just skimmed the article. A glossary of things the GOP has actually said or believes (at least the more conservative tea tard types). Not really helpful in terms of rhetoric, but not necessarily wrong. Again, it's not pure retarded conjecture like TardHall, so while not good, it's not the same.

False Equivalency Rating: 2/5.


Oh it's not wrong. It's just petty. It's a underhanded jab. Every example reads like a little quip that is followed by a smug smile hidden behind a latte cup. It's drenched in stereotypical liberal views of conservatives that it only perpetuates these falsehoods and further buries the issues amongst another "oh no you didn't say that" article.

Most of these things are issues conservatives have messed up on, or are making a platform on. The manner in which the article presents them does nothing to inform the read beyond the fact that the author is a dick.
 
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