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(TMZ)   Penn State bans "Sweet Caroline" from being played at their football games due to the inappropriate "Touching Me, Touching You" lyrics, will replace the traditional sing-a-long with rhythmic slapping sounds   (tmz.com) divider line 125
    More: Stupid, Penn State, Beaver Stadium, Caroline Kennedy, football  
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896 clicks; posted to Sports » on 27 Aug 2012 at 6:04 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



125 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-08-27 02:21:47 PM
Because college students would never, ever think of touching each other if it wasn't in a song.
 
2012-08-27 02:22:18 PM
Yeah, Subby? Well, I've heard they may also ban Queen's "We Will Rock You" due to the rhythmic slapping sounds made throughout the song.
 
2012-08-27 02:23:01 PM
What about Gary Glitter?
 
2012-08-27 02:23:08 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Yeah, Subby? Well, I've heard they may also ban Queen's "We Will Rock You" due to the rhythmic slapping sounds made throughout the song.


I laughed, then felt bad, then laughed again.

Damn you.
 
2012-08-27 02:26:53 PM

Adjective Bird Whiskey: What about Gary Glitter?


There it is!
 
2012-08-27 02:28:11 PM
Welcome to the locker room shower we've got fun and games
We got everything you want honey, we know the names
We are the people that can find whatever you may need
If you got the money honey we got your disease

/Song still works
 
2012-08-27 02:29:06 PM
Up next: renaming touchdown, tight end and wide receiver,
 
2012-08-27 02:36:24 PM
www.rustyspell.com

R.I.P. KNOWING ME KNOWING YOU
 

/so hot ah hah...
 
2012-08-27 02:37:17 PM

CommieTaoist: Up next: renaming touchdown, tight end and wide receiver,


Basketball is a problem too. Nobody should be allowed to reference dribbling penetration at Penn State anymore.
 
2012-08-27 02:40:47 PM

bingethinker: Because college students would never, ever think of touching each other if it wasn't in a song.


*whoosh*
 
2012-08-27 02:41:02 PM

Warthog: CommieTaoist: Up next: renaming touchdown, tight end and wide receiver,

Basketball is a problem too. Nobody should be allowed to reference dribbling penetration at Penn State anymore.


Baseball: pitcher/catcher, balls, dugout
 
2012-08-27 02:41:07 PM
You can get yourself clean
You can get a great meal
you can do whatever you feel

It's fun to stay at the Penn State washrooms
 
2012-08-27 02:41:18 PM
Well that solves everything. Whenever you child rape enabler apologists show up, and I know you will, I want you to know that I now agree with you, Penn State obviously got screwed by the NCAA and I now see this witch hunt for what it is. On behalf of all of us who were so quick to judge please accept my apology.
 
2012-08-27 02:44:04 PM
So, I guess Frank Zappa's "Broken Hearts Are For Assholes" is out, too?
 
2012-08-27 02:45:47 PM
As long as we get to keep "Hang on Sloopy"
 
2012-08-27 02:47:40 PM
That song is awful, but I can't say I'm a fan of the extreme measures it took to get it removed from Penn State.
 
2012-08-27 02:56:31 PM
Will other Big Ten stadiums play the song when the Nittany Lions come to visit?
 
2012-08-27 02:58:31 PM

bingethinker: Because college students would never, ever think of touching each other if it wasn't in a song.


Welcome back! I'm so jealous- I have always wanted to take a year-long holiday away from all media sources- no internet, no TV, no radio, no newspapers- just me and nature. That must have been so cool!
 
2012-08-27 02:59:49 PM
So good!
So good!
So good!
 
2012-08-27 03:04:10 PM
deadparents.files.wordpress.com

This is still ok though?
 
2012-08-27 03:06:27 PM
Now if they'd only ban it at Fenway.
 
2012-08-27 03:06:42 PM

Nabb1: That song is awful, but I can't say I'm a fan of the extreme measures it took to get it removed from Penn State.


i just feel bad for the catholic church, which has been taking drastic actions to get the song "father abraham" eliminated from church sing-alongs.
 
2012-08-27 03:09:13 PM
So Neil Diamond is a pedo too?
 
2012-08-27 03:13:23 PM

Godscrack: So Neil Diamond is a pedo too?


No, he just kills hobos to get an erection.
 
2012-08-27 03:18:10 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Godscrack: So Neil Diamond is a pedo too?

No, he just kills hobos to get an erection.


I put clown makeup on my penis.
 
2012-08-27 03:21:54 PM
I was going to say the Jimmy Hendrix/Jim Morrison ballad "fark Her in the Ass" should be banned as well, but then I realized it wasn't "her" that was the issue.
 
2012-08-27 03:24:53 PM
$20 to the first magnificent bastard who slips this DR. Demento Classic onto the loudpseakers at Penn State:
Kinko the Clown:

Kinko, Kinko, the kid-loving clown
if the kids just love me back I'll never wear a frown
Kinko, Kinko, the kid loving clown
if the kids just love me back I'll never wear a frown!!!

Kinko's in his Kinko car, pockets full of change
lots of dirty pictures and sticky candy canes.
All the kids love Kinko for the presents that they get
silly leather clothes to wear and happy cigaretts.

-Hi boys and girls, my name is Kinko the clown!!!
-Hi Kinko!!!
-And I really love you boys and girls!!!
Really, really....
-Awwww
-But my legs get tired standing out in the parking lot handing out
stale tootsie rolls to you rugrats, so if anyone wants to come back
to Kinko's trailer and massage his legs, he'd really really like it.
Really, really.....

Kinko, Kinko, the kid-loving clown
if the kids just love me back I'll never wear a frown
Kinko, Kinko, the kid loving clown
if the kids just love me back I'll never wear a frown!!!

We go to Kinkos clubhouse, sometimes after school
we play in Kinkos crawl space, there's never any room
We have to sit on Kinkos lap there's never any chairs
Kinko likes to tickle us and give us funny stares.

-Gee I haven't had this much fun since Christmas when I got
to play Santa Clause and all the boys and girls got to sit on Kinko's lap-
-Mommy mommy! Kinko hurt me!-
-But that was in Indianapolis and thanks to the liberal reciprocity laws here
Kinko can be with you boys and girls today or anytime.

Jimmy Johnson ran away and didn't say goodbuy
Kinko went to look for him to help the FBI
But Kinko has some handcuffs on his eyes were full of tears
said "I'll be back to play with you sometime in 20 years!"

Kinko, Kinko, the kid-loving clown
the parents wanna beat me up and run me outa town!
Kinko, Kinko, the kid-loving clown
tar and feather Kinko and run him out of town!

-Bye boy's and girls!!!!
-Bye Kinko! See you at the turn of the century!
-Kinko really love you boys and girls!!
Really, really....
 
2012-08-27 03:28:00 PM
So I guess Chuck Berry's Memphis is out of the quesiton?
 
2012-08-27 03:30:49 PM
www.vinyltap.co.uk
Right out.
 
2012-08-27 03:30:58 PM

Magorn: $20 to the first magnificent bastard who slips this DR. Demento Classic onto the loudpseakers at Penn State:
Kinko the Clown:

Kinko, Kinko, the kid-loving clown
if the kids just love me back I'll never wear a frown
Kinko, Kinko, the kid loving clown
if the kids just love me back I'll never wear a frown!!!

Kinko's in his Kinko car, pockets full of change
lots of dirty pictures and sticky candy canes.
All the kids love Kinko for the presents that they get
silly leather clothes to wear and happy cigaretts.

-Hi boys and girls, my name is Kinko the clown!!!
-Hi Kinko!!!
-And I really love you boys and girls!!!
Really, really....
-Awwww
-But my legs get tired standing out in the parking lot handing out
stale tootsie rolls to you rugrats, so if anyone wants to come back
to Kinko's trailer and massage his legs, he'd really really like it.
Really, really.....

Kinko, Kinko, the kid-loving clown
if the kids just love me back I'll never wear a frown
Kinko, Kinko, the kid loving clown
if the kids just love me back I'll never wear a frown!!!

We go to Kinkos clubhouse, sometimes after school
we play in Kinkos crawl space, there's never any room
We have to sit on Kinkos lap there's never any chairs
Kinko likes to tickle us and give us funny stares.

-Gee I haven't had this much fun since Christmas when I got
to play Santa Clause and all the boys and girls got to sit on Kinko's lap-
-Mommy mommy! Kinko hurt me!-
-But that was in Indianapolis and thanks to the liberal reciprocity laws here
Kinko can be with you boys and girls today or anytime.

Jimmy Johnson ran away and didn't say goodbuy
Kinko went to look for him to help the FBI
But Kinko has some handcuffs on his eyes were full of tears
said "I'll be back to play with you sometime in 20 years!"

Kinko, Kinko, the kid-loving clown
the parents wanna beat me up and run me outa town!
Kinko, Kinko, the kid-loving clown
tar and feather Kinko and run him out of town!

-Bye boy's and girls!!!!
-Bye Kinko! See you at the turn of the ...


You magnificent bastard.

I slept through many years of public school Mondays after staying up until 1 am listening to that show on a tiny little clock radio tucked under the covers with me so mom wouldn't hear.

Ah, memories.

Fish heads, fish heads...
 
2012-08-27 03:31:42 PM

brap: So I guess Chuck Berry's Memphis is out of the quesiton?


As is "Watching Scotty Grow".
 
2012-08-27 03:34:03 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Godscrack: So Neil Diamond is a pedo too?

No, he just kills hobos to get an erection.


So he's a cop too?
 
2012-08-27 03:41:49 PM

brap: So I guess Chuck Berry's Memphis is out of the quesiton?


What about "My Ding-A-Ling"? That would be OK, right?
 
2012-08-27 03:43:08 PM

Godscrack: FirstNationalBastard: Godscrack: So Neil Diamond is a pedo too?

No, he just kills hobos to get an erection.

So he's a cop too?


Neil Diamond VH-1 Storytellers.
 
2012-08-27 03:56:20 PM
I'm not sure replacing it with "I Know What Boys Like" is helping, though.
 
2012-08-27 04:11:53 PM

Warthog: CommieTaoist: Up next: renaming touchdown, tight end and wide receiver,

Basketball is a problem too. Nobody should be allowed to reference dribbling penetration at Penn State anymore.


Don't forget the End Around play,
 
2012-08-27 04:19:12 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm not sure replacing it with "I Know What Boys Like" is helping, though.


Or "Don't let the son go down on me"
 
2012-08-27 04:33:03 PM
To be replaced by Creedence's "Lookin' at my backdoor."
 
2012-08-27 04:35:51 PM
So I take It Where Boys Fear To Tread is out?
"Candy cane walks down
To build a bonfire, to break my fall
My baby, my sweet thing
Just maybe we could lose ourselves this time
King of the horseflies, dark prince of death
His tragic forces are heaven sent
In sweet things, in a lovers breath
In knowing this was meant to be the last
A go-go-kids, a go-go-style
A suck suck kiss, a suck suck smile
As always, in young need"
 
2012-08-27 04:39:31 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-08-27 04:57:28 PM
This story is going to ruin college football threads this year. It'll make the Tebow Ponies and the RIP meme look like a fleeting occurrence in comparison.
 
2012-08-27 05:08:25 PM

FriarReb98: This story is going to ruin college football threads this year. It'll make the Tebow Ponies and the RIP meme look like a fleeting occurrence in comparison.


It's only one song. I don't think it's going to be that big of a deal.

Here's a pony to make you feel better.

iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de
 
2012-08-27 05:10:11 PM

FirstNationalBastard: FriarReb98: This story is going to ruin college football threads this year. It'll make the Tebow Ponies and the RIP meme look like a fleeting occurrence in comparison.

It's only one song. I don't think it's going to be that big of a deal.

Here's a pony to make you feel better.


I'm pretty sure he meant Penn State in general, not the song.
 
2012-08-27 05:14:17 PM

Krymson Tyde: I'm pretty sure he meant Penn State in general, not the song.


Yup. Debating even showing up for this weekend's threads. I'm just not ready for that level of trollerific retardation.
 
2012-08-27 05:33:08 PM

FriarReb98: Krymson Tyde: I'm pretty sure he meant Penn State in general, not the song.

Yup. Debating even showing up for this weekend's threads. I'm just not ready for that level of trollerific retardation.


I've been thinking about that for a couple weeks now. Not sure there is anything we can officially do which wouldn't make it worse. If anyone has suggestions I'd be willing to discuss them over the next few days in the sports forum here http://www.fark.com/comments/2/78985240#c78985240 so we dont threadjack this thread
 
2012-08-27 05:35:49 PM
They should use "Playground In My Mind" instead.
 
2012-08-27 05:39:32 PM

dugitman: FriarReb98: Krymson Tyde: I'm pretty sure he meant Penn State in general, not the song.

Yup. Debating even showing up for this weekend's threads. I'm just not ready for that level of trollerific retardation.

I've been thinking about that for a couple weeks now. Not sure there is anything we can officially do which wouldn't make it worse. If anyone has suggestions I'd be willing to discuss them over the next few days in the sports forum here http://www.fark.com/comments/2/78985240#c78985240 so we dont threadjack this thread


I'll show, can't miss the first weekend of the season, but will try really hard to not discuss Sandusky, Paterno, PSU sanctions, etc.
Of course I will still be rooting against them.
 
2012-08-27 05:41:13 PM

muck4doo: They should use "Playground In My Mind" instead.


Well, now you've put the idea in my head of a video with Jerry Sandusky touring the Penn State showers set to that Madonna song "This Used to be my Playground".
 
2012-08-27 06:01:32 PM
The rhythmic sound of my balls slapping on your chin is more like it
 
2012-08-27 06:13:08 PM
to be replaced with the crowd favorite and mantra: "joepa doesn't know! joepa doesn't know! don't tell joepa!" or maybe that's; "joepa didn't know! joepa didn't know! don't tell joepa!"
 
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