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(News.com.au)   Divorce deal revealed and Katie Holmes makes out like a bandit. Sadly, it is that bandit that breaks in and passes out on the couch until the cops show up   (news.com.au) divider line 87
    More: Asinine, Tom Cruise, spousal support, settlements, cruises, prenup, Ex-wife, Mission Impossible, child support  
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10158 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 Aug 2012 at 10:48 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-27 09:03:26 AM
Just goes to show you how badly she wanted out of that nightmare.
 
2012-08-27 09:11:36 AM
She has $25 million of her own money it's not like she destitute or anything.
 
2012-08-27 09:11:48 AM

jylcat: Just goes to show you how badly she wanted to get Suri out of that nightmare.


FTFY.


Article headline: Katie gets nothing!

Photo caption: According to reports, the divorce deal gives Holmes primary custody of her daughter


Hey, news writers, fark you and the horse you rode in on, some people might consider their daughter's sanity to be slightly more important than money.
 
2012-08-27 09:22:43 AM
Sometimes there are serious consequences for bad life decisions. Like marrying a closeted cultist nutjob.
 
2012-08-27 09:51:24 AM

xynix: She has $25 million of her own money it's not like she destitute or anything.


I was thinking the same thing. On the other hand, Cruise's PR folks might have been wise to advise him not to go so "low" on the support payments so it doesn't look bad on him. Although I'm not sure that he has that much of a reputation left to protect anyway... I guess that they went with the "why bother?" approach.
 
2012-08-27 09:59:34 AM
She got the Swiper the Fox of alimonies.
 
2012-08-27 10:51:19 AM
sole custody is pretty serious; what is that based on?
 
2012-08-27 10:58:05 AM

must pay $32,000 a month for Suri, six, until she turns 18. The bill for the star of Top Gun and Mission Impossible will top $4.5million as he will also pay medical, dental, insurance, education and other costs.

primary custody

The actress could have won more child support if the case had gone to trial but the couple decided to settle quickly.

it's almost as if her main concern in all this was the child. pretty classy dame.
 
2012-08-27 10:59:07 AM

soakitincider: sole custody is pretty serious; what is that based on?


Maybe the fact that the father belongs to a dangerous cult?
 
2012-08-27 10:59:31 AM

jylcat: Just goes to show you how badly she wanted out of that nightmare.


Yup.

And as xynix said, she's hardly destitute. If anything, she'll be able to work more and while her earning power isn't quite that of what Cruise can make, I think she'll still be able to live comfortably... even in Manhattan.

She got what she wanted- away from him with full custody of her daughter to keep her away from the Scientologist nutjobs. She's still rich. That's a win in most people's books.
 
2012-08-27 10:59:31 AM

soakitincider: sole custody is pretty serious; what is that based on?


Her agreeing to settle for nothing, presumably.
 
2012-08-27 11:00:29 AM

soakitincider: sole custody is pretty serious; what is that based on?


It's based on "I want Suri or I start calling publishers"
 
2012-08-27 11:00:46 AM

JerseyTim: She got the Swiper the Fox of alimonies.


Swiper! No swiping!
 
2012-08-27 11:02:17 AM
So wait, why should Tom Cruise take care of her? Because she's a woman? Whatever happened to equality?

And don't give me the "oh the kid" bullshiat:

FTA: Cruise, 50, will not hand over any 'spousal support' but must pay $32,000 a month for Suri, six, until she turns 18. The bill for the star of Top Gun and Mission Impossible will top $4.5million as he will also pay medical, dental, insurance, education and other costs.

Yeah, I'm sure Suri will have to be subjected to child work and malnourishment.
 
2012-08-27 11:06:52 AM
I know that her father (step-father?) is an attorney, so I'm pretty sure she walked into the pre-nup more informed that most people. There may be other assets not necessarily getting attention here -- maybe she got one of their vacation homes purchased during the marriage worth 15 million or something.  Either way, I'm sure she got what she wanted.
 
2012-08-27 11:13:14 AM
Scientology: not even once.
 
2012-08-27 11:16:05 AM
She got sole custody and got away from him. I say she won that battle.
 
2012-08-27 11:18:37 AM
I think she made out great. The article states clearly that she got custody of her daughter, plus support for her until she's 18. Also, other sites are reporting that the agreement stipulates that Suri will not attend any "residential school", meaning that Katie has blocked the potential that her daughter would be enrolled in any Scientology "schools".

I think she made out like a master thief, personally. If anybody thinks she didn't "win" here, they either must not have children or they must care more about money than anything else.
 
2012-08-27 11:21:37 AM

soakitincider: sole custody is pretty serious; what is that based on?


It is based on Cruise's unwillingness to go through a psychiatric competence exam. All Katie would need to do is claim mental incompetence, and the court would force him to undergo a psych eval. Given that he is already on record as saying that he believes that space aliens have endowed him with the ability to control things with his mind, he would either have to disavow his "faith", or else at some point be asked to demonstrate that ability and to rationally explain the ensuing results. I think we can all assume that neither option would not ended well for him, or for Scientology. I am sure they knew this in advance and coached him to avoid having to subject himself to the eval at all costs...probably under the rationale that the unenlightened would be able to steal secrets and powers meant only for those within the Scientology community, or some such nonsense.
 
2012-08-27 11:25:22 AM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: some people might consider their daughter's sanity to be slightly more important than money.


Who are these people and why are they so sick? Go for the money, sanity is overrated.
 
2012-08-27 11:25:58 AM

Balchinian: soakitincider: sole custody is pretty serious; what is that based on?

It is based on Cruise's unwillingness to go through a psychiatric competence exam. All Katie would need to do is claim mental incompetence, and the court would force him to undergo a psych eval. Given that he is already on record as saying that he believes that space aliens have endowed him with the ability to control things with his mind, he would either have to disavow his "faith", or else at some point be asked to demonstrate that ability and to rationally explain the ensuing results. I think we can all assume that neither option would not ended well for him, or for Scientology. I am sure they knew this in advance and coached him to avoid having to subject himself to the eval at all costs...probably under the rationale that the unenlightened would be able to steal secrets and powers meant only for those within the Scientology community, or some such nonsense.


That, or Katie said, "I get sole custody of Suri, or that nanny cam footage of you and Pedro the pool-boy MYSTERIOUSLY gets leaked to the tabloids."
 
2012-08-27 11:30:37 AM

Balchinian: soakitincider: sole custody is pretty serious; what is that based on?

It is based on Cruise's unwillingness to go through a psychiatric competence exam. All Katie would need to do is claim mental incompetence, and the court would force him to undergo a psych eval. Given that he is already on record as saying that he believes that space aliens have endowed him with the ability to control things with his mind, he would either have to disavow his "faith", or else at some point be asked to demonstrate that ability and to rationally explain the ensuing results. I think we can all assume that neither option would not ended well for him, or for Scientology. I am sure they knew this in advance and coached him to avoid having to subject himself to the eval at all costs...probably under the rationale that the unenlightened would be able to steal secrets and powers meant only for those within the Scientology community, or some such nonsense.


Hell you should be able to use that on Christians as well.
 
2012-08-27 11:37:07 AM

Girion47: Balchinian: soakitincider: sole custody is pretty serious; what is that based on?

It is based on Cruise's unwillingness to go through a psychiatric competence exam. All Katie would need to do is claim mental incompetence, and the court would force him to undergo a psych eval. Given that he is already on record as saying that he believes that space aliens have endowed him with the ability to control things with his mind, he would either have to disavow his "faith", or else at some point be asked to demonstrate that ability and to rationally explain the ensuing results. I think we can all assume that neither option would not ended well for him, or for Scientology. I am sure they knew this in advance and coached him to avoid having to subject himself to the eval at all costs...probably under the rationale that the unenlightened would be able to steal secrets and powers meant only for those within the Scientology community, or some such nonsense.

Hell you should be able to use that on Christians as well.


Christians don't claim to be able to control the physical world (or anything else) with their minds.
 
2012-08-27 11:43:50 AM

Balchinian: Christians don't claim to be able to control the physical world (or anything else) with their minds.


They have minds?

/Sorry; had to
 
2012-08-27 11:53:44 AM
$25 million of her own money, $32k a month in child support-plus medical/dental coverage and payment of all kid's education costs to boot. (I'm sure Katie picked out the best and most expensive non-residential private Catholic school in Manhattan just to spite the Scientologists,) plus her own freedom AND the comforting fact that she has sole custody of her only child...somehow my divorced, hasn't received a dime of child support in over 7 years self is just not feeling the least bit sorry for Katie right now. Hell, even if Tom were not paying the additional medical, dental, and tuition costs, $32k a month tax free buys a LOT of nice lifestyle enhancement for a kid, even with the Manhattan lifestyle and need for a full time security staff to guard the child from wacko obsessive church members and paparazzi!
 
2012-08-27 11:55:07 AM

Saiga410: DammitIForgotMyLogin: some people might consider their daughter's sanity to be slightly more important than money.

Who are these people and why are they so sick? Go for the money, sanity is overrated.


And, isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking
www.popgunchaos.com
 
2012-08-27 11:55:36 AM

Balchinian: Girion47: Balchinian: soakitincider: sole custody is pretty serious; what is that based on?

It is based on Cruise's unwillingness to go through a psychiatric competence exam. All Katie would need to do is claim mental incompetence, and the court would force him to undergo a psych eval. Given that he is already on record as saying that he believes that space aliens have endowed him with the ability to control things with his mind, he would either have to disavow his "faith", or else at some point be asked to demonstrate that ability and to rationally explain the ensuing results. I think we can all assume that neither option would not ended well for him, or for Scientology. I am sure they knew this in advance and coached him to avoid having to subject himself to the eval at all costs...probably under the rationale that the unenlightened would be able to steal secrets and powers meant only for those within the Scientology community, or some such nonsense.

Hell you should be able to use that on Christians as well.

Christians don't claim to be able to control the physical world (or anything else) with their minds.


Some do, but you have to get pretty far into the fringes to find them.
 
2012-08-27 11:57:25 AM
On the bright side, this could really increase the chances that she will guest star as "herself" on Krysten Ritter's sitcom. After seeing the fun that they have had with Van Der Beek on that show, I'd love to see what they could do with her.
 
2012-08-27 12:16:55 PM
My god, how will she manage to feed and clothe that poor child with only $32,000 a month? I hope they don't wind up on the streets.
 
2012-08-27 12:21:29 PM

EngineerBoy: I think she made out great. The article states clearly that she got custody of her daughter, plus support for her until she's 18. Also, other sites are reporting that the agreement stipulates that Suri will not attend any "residential school", meaning that Katie has blocked the potential that her daughter would be enrolled in any Scientology "schools".
I think she made out like a master thief, personally. If anybody thinks she didn't "win" here, they either must not have children or they must care more about money than anything else.


She must have had some dirt on Tom that was unbelievable to make out like this. And was willing to use it, unlike his other women. By all accounts, she handled her escape very well. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you kick some nutcase to the curb. Take notes. Too bad she's not allowed to talk about how she did it.
 
2012-08-27 12:24:31 PM
But did they throw in a complimentary e-meter?
 
2012-08-27 12:25:36 PM

Balchinian: Girion47: Balchinian: soakitincider: sole custody is pretty serious; what is that based on?

It is based on Cruise's unwillingness to go through a psychiatric competence exam. All Katie would need to do is claim mental incompetence, and the court would force him to undergo a psych eval. Given that he is already on record as saying that he believes that space aliens have endowed him with the ability to control things with his mind, he would either have to disavow his "faith", or else at some point be asked to demonstrate that ability and to rationally explain the ensuing results. I think we can all assume that neither option would not ended well for him, or for Scientology. I am sure they knew this in advance and coached him to avoid having to subject himself to the eval at all costs...probably under the rationale that the unenlightened would be able to steal secrets and powers meant only for those within the Scientology community, or some such nonsense.

Hell you should be able to use that on Christians as well.

Christians don't claim to be able to control the physical world (or anything else) with their minds.


sure they do. they "pray" for all sorts of things in the physical world.  They give prayer all the credit when it "works" but when it doesn't it's "god's will".
 
2012-08-27 12:27:24 PM
As others have said, this is a "W" and nothing less. She's an actress and a mother; she walks away with sole custody of her completely-financially-supported daughter and looks good in the PR aspect as a non-gold-digger whose primary concern was her daughter.

I might even call this a "flawless victory."
 
2012-08-27 12:38:19 PM
the power of a pre-nup?
 
2012-08-27 12:42:17 PM
So, really, she makes out like a bandit that passes out in a religion-affiliated building, talks to police, and gets off scott-free because of her dirt on bandit chieftan's getaway driver?
 
2012-08-27 12:48:43 PM
You can't put a price on freedome subby. Don't you go to the politics tab at all?
 
2012-08-27 12:49:18 PM

factoryconnection: As others have said, this is a "W" and nothing less. She's an actress and a mother; she walks away with sole custody of her completely-financially-supported daughter and looks good in the PR aspect as a non-gold-digger whose primary concern was her daughter.

I might even call this a "flawless victory."


This
 
2012-08-27 12:51:31 PM
Pre-nup?

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-08-27 12:55:30 PM

adammpower: sure they do. they "pray" for all sorts of things in the physical world. They give prayer all the credit when it "works" but when it doesn't it's "god's will".


I'm sure if a parent claimed publicly that God's Will was at his disposal as Cruise claimed with his mental powers, a divorcing spouse would have grounds to demand psych evaluation prior to a custody agreement. The courts have found against parents claiming that prayer could be used in lieu of medical treatment for serious illness. Cognitive dissonance about the power of prayer is not the same as claiming superpowers, however.
 
2012-08-27 01:03:13 PM
The wacky ass Scientologists made a deal with her to keep her mouth shut so they can get Tom a new dead eyed wife ASAP.
 
2012-08-27 01:11:33 PM
Let see:

Freedom from Tom.
Freedom from the cult.
x2 for her daughter.
Child support at a 'god...damn.' rate (better than most people's annual incomes).
Has her own money.
Doesn't have to pretend she's shorter than she is now.
Freedom.

Yeah she got a terrible deal.
 
2012-08-27 01:21:59 PM
well that will teach her not to steal fizzy lifting-drinks, now won't it?
 
2012-08-27 01:22:03 PM
I wouldn't mind if she broke in and passed out on my couch.
 
2012-08-27 01:34:41 PM

Mr. Cat Poop: My god, how will she manage to feed and clothe that poor child with only $32,000 a month? I hope they don't wind up on the streets.


In New York 32K a month really isn't that much money. Maybe a middle class lifestyle at best.
 
2012-08-27 01:36:09 PM
adammpower: sure they do. they "pray" for all sorts of things in the physical world.  They give prayer all the credit when it "works" but when it doesn't it's "god's will".

It's also "God's will" if it seems to work. When someone prays, they're not casting a spell. They're asking favors of the powers that be (Yahweh, Gaia, the Force, pick your favorite), and it's entirely the decision of those powers whether they do or don't grant those favors. Praying for someone is the spiritual equivalent of phoning AT&T's tech support. Nothing may come of it, but at least you can feel like you went through the motions of seeking outside help.

It's debatable how many people truly believe in prayer anymore, though. The real US religion is politics, with angels and demons replaced by "my side" and "your side", and prayer traded out for protests and sermons for angry news pundit commentaries. Go on, ask anyone around here what the ultimate evil is. A few snarks will chime in with "Justin Bieber" or "Michael Bay", but the true believers will start foaming at the mouth and start howling apocalyptic screeds against the devil liberals or the GOP. It's a sad, boring mythology compared to some of the rip-roaring tales of the ancient world, but at least it pays full homage to all the weird sex and power struggles of the ancient Greek pantheon.
 
2012-08-27 01:37:24 PM
She has everything. She saved Suri from the nutbirds.
 
2012-08-27 01:39:26 PM

Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: Mr. Cat Poop: My god, how will she manage to feed and clothe that poor child with only $32,000 a month? I hope they don't wind up on the streets.

In New York 32K a month really isn't that much money. Maybe a middle class lifestyle at best.


6 month old's don't have a lifestyle. It's $32,000 to take care of the child not to provide Katie with a 'lifestyle', that would be spousal support which the article says she isn't getting. I'm not even sure how, even if you put money aside for school and emegencies, you could spent $32,000 a month on a child without spoiling them rotten.
 
2012-08-27 01:43:04 PM
Why would she try to take some of his money? She has tons of her own (and a decent career to build), and it's nothing to laugh at. She got the kid, took her money that she made from her work, and walked away with very little fuss. Added to that, he's got to pay $340,000 a year in support.

I think this whole thing ended exactly as it should, and everyone walked away clean and relatively intact. Too bad that you have to make the cut from one parent - crazy or not, it sucks to lose your kid on a daily basis. He's crackers, but not legally abusive.

I think this worked itself out rather well for everyone involved.
 
2012-08-27 02:02:52 PM

adammpower: Balchinian:
sure they do. they "pray" for all sorts of things in the physical world.  They give prayer all the credit when it "works" but when it doesn't it's "god's will".


You do realize that Christians aren't the ones that look worse when you purposefully act obtuse, do'nt you?
 
2012-08-27 02:07:10 PM

Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: Mr. Cat Poop: My god, how will she manage to feed and clothe that poor child with only $32,000 a month? I hope they don't wind up on the streets.

In New York 32K a month really isn't that much money. Maybe a middle class lifestyle at best.


You could live like a king in many NYC neighborhoods with $32K a month. Maybe not in the hottest neighborhoods in Manhattan, but that's some serious scratch in the outer boroughs.
 
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