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(NPR)   Ecologists don't understand how trees die, so they have built a "torture lab" that allows them to experiment ways to kill trees in order to learn how to save them   (npr.org ) divider line
    More: Sappy, Los Alamos, body counts, national laboratory, experiments  
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3436 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Aug 2012 at 3:39 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-26 12:19:22 PM  
www.bitrebels.com
 
2012-08-26 12:24:43 PM  
art.ngfiles.com
 
2012-08-26 12:28:29 PM  
You know who else had "torture labs"?

/oblig
 
2012-08-26 01:50:55 PM  
+1 for tag choice
 
2012-08-26 01:52:45 PM  

www.leadersbeacon.com

Oh Hai Guiz, what going on in this th...?

*blink*


/Hot like an angry Lorax.
 
2012-08-26 02:27:22 PM  
The tag. I see what you did there.
 
2012-08-26 02:50:54 PM  
I saw something like this in ST:TNG.
 
2012-08-26 03:19:35 PM  


img1.fark.net



Cute Marie, real cute.
 
2012-08-26 03:32:20 PM  

quatchi: [www.leadersbeacon.com image 488x416]

Oh Hai Guiz, what going on in this th...?

*blink*

/Hot like an angry Lorax.


The Conservative Lorax

/i know.. that one site... i know i know
 
2012-08-26 03:39:15 PM  

gameshowhost: The Conservative Lorax


Had not seen that one. TY for the link. Good stuff.

The "Ty-coots in their Brooks Brother suits" made me think of that now infamous shot of Romney and the other Bain vultures with their pockets stuffed with bills.
 
2012-08-26 03:44:00 PM  
mqotd.com

Nobody cares for the woods anymore...
 
2012-08-26 03:45:50 PM  
Good luck. I cut a whole tree into little pieces. Damn thing never said a word.
 
2012-08-26 03:47:28 PM  
news.bbc.co.uk

Expected to make a statement.
 
2012-08-26 03:48:21 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Good luck. I cut a whole tree into little pieces. Damn thing never said a word.


They're hard like that...
 
2012-08-26 03:50:00 PM  
Bow-schwitz
 
2012-08-26 03:50:57 PM  
Here, let me save you some time and effort. Trees die from disease, old age, drought, malnutrition, lightning, and fires. Same as people die, they just don't attract a lot of attention unless they fall over at an inconvenient time.
 
2012-08-26 03:53:14 PM  
Well I found out this year that leaving an Acer dissectum in 106 degree heat for a week with no water is one way. For best results leave in a seven gallon pot.
 
2012-08-26 03:53:52 PM  
This should be a poplar thread.
 
2012-08-26 03:55:51 PM  

cherryl taggart: Here, let me save you some time and effort. Trees die from disease, old age, drought, malnutrition, lightning, and fires. Same as people die, they just don't attract a lot of attention unless they fall over at an inconvenient time.


You forgot drive-bys from the Mythbuster's crew.
 
2012-08-26 03:55:52 PM  
Tired and shutting down.

I actually read the headline as Equalogists.

Fark, you have ruined me.


/too many misogyny/genderwars threads.
 
2012-08-26 03:56:12 PM  
movieactors.com

I love trees....
 
2012-08-26 03:58:13 PM  
10:14 AM: I began a series of experiments in which I would I would psychologically torture the aspen, disparaging it thoroughly, and making condescending asides towards its parentage.

10:17 AM: I dangled the watering can above the sapling, and kept repeating "Oh you want some of this water?" I would lower the can ever so slightly, then yank it back up before a drop could spill. My assistant laughed.

10:52 AM: The tree seems unfazed by my verbal abuse.

10:55 AM: Flamethrowers worked, though.
 
2012-08-26 04:00:39 PM  
The trees in our backyard used to die when my dad mixed some defoliant with motor oil and poured it all around the base of the tree.
 
2012-08-26 04:05:36 PM  
This is a new low for the "Saw" franchise.
 
2012-08-26 04:06:54 PM  
Is the lab run by this guy?

larrybrownsports.com
Hot like a losing team's fan
 
2012-08-26 04:26:56 PM  
i38.tinypic.com
 
2012-08-26 04:28:20 PM  
cherryl taggart

Here, let me save you some time and effort. Trees die from disease, old age, drought, malnutrition, lightning, and fires. Same as people die, they just don't attract a lot of attention unless they fall over at an inconvenient time.

Goddanmit THIS.

Umm... the drought resistant climax species like ponderosa pine will thrive....as long as we don't keep suppressing fires to the point where fuel loads cause crown fires...some species of pine like lodgepole are pioneering species that are supposed to die, that is their role in forest succession....how the f*ck can you become a forest ecologist and not have a basic grasp of succession?
 
2012-08-26 04:40:33 PM  
My backyard cottonwood was fungused. Cost a grand to have it removed. csb.
 
2012-08-26 04:48:43 PM  
We must kill them before they kill us...

t1.gstatic.com

... or at least before they eat our kites.
 
2012-08-26 05:18:21 PM  
Clever tag stubby. Made me laugh.
 
2012-08-26 05:27:22 PM  

quatchi: gameshowhost: The Conservative Lorax

Had not seen that one. TY for the link. Good stuff.

The "Ty-coots in their Brooks Brother suits" made me think of that now infamous shot of Romney and the other Bain vultures with their pockets stuffed with bills.


I still feel bad for linking to collegehumor
 
2012-08-26 05:35:47 PM  
Seems to me that many trees die of ennui.
 
2012-08-26 05:42:04 PM  
This seems like a waste of time - it is too late to try and get Osama's location out of them.
 
2012-08-26 05:45:52 PM  
Vegetarians should love this. They love killing these living creatures. THEY EVEN EAT THEM!!!!!
 
2012-08-26 05:46:56 PM  
Chainsaws are a major factor in tree fatalities.
 
2012-08-26 05:48:59 PM  
This thread gives me wood.
 
2012-08-26 06:04:22 PM  
Excellent use of "sappy" tag.
 
2012-08-26 06:04:26 PM  
 
2012-08-26 06:05:01 PM  

gameshowhost: I still feel bad for linking to collegehumor


That's totally appropriate. I would too but in your defense it *was* mostly on topic and lulzy. Lulz count.
 
2012-08-26 06:23:21 PM  
Lack of water.
 
2012-08-26 06:36:36 PM  
This story gives me a woody. Is that sick?
 
2012-08-26 07:00:39 PM  

cherryl taggart: Here, let me save you some time and effort. Trees die from disease, old age, drought, malnutrition, lightning, and fires. Same as people die, they just don't attract a lot of attention unless they fall over at an inconvenient time.


This.

How can not having an entire forest of trees to study in their natural states (some of which will be dying from the above) not meet their needs? (I mean, if they honestly need to study this at all. Seems like something we should already have a good grasp on... forestry and all that.)
 
2012-08-26 07:02:22 PM  

New Age Redneck: cherryl taggart

Here, let me save you some time and effort. Trees die from disease, old age, drought, malnutrition, lightning, and fires. Same as people die, they just don't attract a lot of attention unless they fall over at an inconvenient time.

Goddanmit THIS.

Umm... the drought resistant climax species like ponderosa pine will thrive....as long as we don't keep suppressing fires to the point where fuel loads cause crown fires...some species of pine like lodgepole are pioneering species that are supposed to die, that is their role in forest succession....how the f*ck can you become a forest ecologist and not have a basic grasp of succession?


It's about specific threshholds, I'm sure.

What drives morans to biatch about those who study a topic attempting to learn more?
 
2012-08-26 07:27:45 PM  

Smackledorfer: What drives morans to biatch about those who study a topic attempting to learn more?


Hatred of science is to blame, I've heard.
 
2012-08-26 07:30:49 PM  
You might say there is unrest in the forest and there is trouble with the trees. Wait till they pass an overlaw where they're all kept equal.

\Rush reference quota for the day
 
2012-08-26 07:31:30 PM  
50 shades of oak?
 
2012-08-26 07:53:54 PM  
Smackledorfer

New Age Redneck: cherryl taggart

Here, let me save you some time and effort. Trees die from disease, old age, drought, malnutrition, lightning, and fires. Same as people die, they just don't attract a lot of attention unless they fall over at an inconvenient time.

Goddanmit THIS.

Umm... the drought resistant climax species like ponderosa pine will thrive....as long as we don't keep suppressing fires to the point where fuel loads cause crown fires...some species of pine like lodgepole are pioneering species that are supposed to die, that is their role in forest succession....how the f*ck can you become a forest ecologist and not have a basic grasp of succession?


It's about specific threshholds, I'm sure.

What drives morans to biatch about those who study a topic attempting to learn more?


What drives a troll like yourself? What drives you to comment on topics you are completely ignorant of? What is the point of saving a tree that is supposed to die to yield to the climax species?

Would you like to actually learn something or do you want to fling shiat like a mouth breathing retard?

Forest succession. 

Most of the trees you see in a forest are short lived species that are supposed to die as part of a process called succession. Why in the f*ck would you waste time and money tring to "save" them?
This is the same stupidity as "let's stop all the fires" leaving us with insane fuel loads and catastrophic fires from 100 years of fire suppression.  Refer to massive fires in BC, Colorado, etc...
 
2012-08-26 08:00:10 PM  

GilRuiz1: Hatred of science is to blame, I've heard.


That and the believe that everything that doesn't result in a check coming to that person's mailbox is a waste of tax money. Heck, it doesn't even have to be publically funded research for that trigger to get pulled. I mentioned to a coworker in the elevator one day about the amount of research elevator companies put into usage patterns of elevators so they can place cars on standby on different floors depending on the time of day and day of the week. He went off into a rant about it being a waste of money and something about liberal professors sitting around drinking tea. I couldn't quite get the connection between elevators and tea but somehow he was convinced that taxes were being "stolen" from his paycheck for elevator research.
 
2012-08-26 09:29:47 PM  
"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?
Maybe not, if they screamed ALL the time." Jack Handy
 
2012-08-26 09:50:17 PM  

New Age Redneck: Smackledorfer

New Age Redneck: cherryl taggart

Here, let me save you some time and effort. Trees die from disease, old age, drought, malnutrition, lightning, and fires. Same as people die, they just don't attract a lot of attention unless they fall over at an inconvenient time.

Goddanmit THIS.

Umm... the drought resistant climax species like ponderosa pine will thrive....as long as we don't keep suppressing fires to the point where fuel loads cause crown fires...some species of pine like lodgepole are pioneering species that are supposed to die, that is their role in forest succession....how the f*ck can you become a forest ecologist and not have a basic grasp of succession?


It's about specific threshholds, I'm sure.

What drives morans to biatch about those who study a topic attempting to learn more? 

What drives a troll like yourself? What drives you to comment on topics you are completely ignorant of? What is the point of saving a tree that is supposed to die to yield to the climax species?

Would you like to actually learn something or do you want to fling shiat like a mouth breathing retard?

Forest succession. 

Most of the trees you see in a forest are short lived species that are supposed to die as part of a process called succession. Why in the f*ck would you waste time and money tring to "save" them?
This is the same stupidity as "let's stop all the fires" leaving us with insane fuel loads and catastrophic fires from 100 years of fire suppression.  Refer to massive fires in BC, Colorado, etc...


The article was pretty clear. The ecologist quoted, as well as other foresters (myself included) know that drought kills trees. That's the easy part. We also know about stomata and their role in gas and vapor exchange. We know that certain species are adapted to drier climates (waxy coatings on leaves, flat petioles to encourage leaves to rustle and cool...) but he is talking about actual thresholds at which things start to go wonky. It's pretty cool stuff actually for those of us who care.
 
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