It seems like they've been committed to making this movie suck from Day One.

Which, naturally, leads me to wonder why they put Michael Bay at the helm instead of M. Knight Shaymalan.

This is the kind of thing that happens when you mix magic mushrooms and acid 

/Or, so I've heard

What, are Will Smith's kids starring in it?

Goddamn, that's an ugly website.

FirstNationalBastard: Now, if you want to forget this horrible movie is ever going to exist, spend around a 70 bucks and buy the complete run of the classic cartoon, this is coming out in a few months...

[www.tvshowsondvd.com image 550x487]

If you don't want to ruin your childhood memories, don't do this.

That is Raphael, dude.

Ehhhh. Why do they keep remaking these movies? TMNT got it right the first time with the first movie. This will be Transformers all over again, 2 hours of the adventures of the human sidekick with the title characters dropping in at irregular intervals. The sad part is this is all being done for profit, there's no interest in the source material. It's just there to be juiced like an orange until it yields money. Let Hollywood stick to making drivel that appeals to what little taste the churlish masses have and leave comics and cartoons alone. Let those stay with people who will make something worthwhile out of them, and to hell with profit.

JolobinSmokin: I'm not saying it was donotello, but it was donotello

/hot

Is that an alt-outing I see?

Of course the script is bad. You don't need a good script when Michael Bay is at the helm. He'll load it full of CGI, film a few ludicrous explosions, spend 250 million dollars making it, and the movie will easily gross 1 billion in the first month.

Ironically enough, if they made the film entirely Pixar-esque CGI and gave it its original, dark and violent origin stories that it's SUPPOSED to have, I think they'd be surprised at how positive reviews would be.

FTA: People have also been saying that this script is too unprofessional to be real, like it was written by an amateur.

If only they knew. I can't even count how many screenplays I've read by "professional" writers that read like this...or worse. There's a lot of reasons that the studios really hate it when scripts leak, but it mostly comes down to the fact that if anyone got hold of them they'd think the studios were incompetent. In a screenplay, there's no layer of flashy CGI or glossy sheen of art design to cover the fact that most of this tripe is written by someone who only got the job as a favor or because their rates were cheap, not because of talent.

Michael Bay can suck a dick, the original was and forever be the best TMNT movie. The digital animated one released in 2007 will always be 2nd. I bought the movies and ripped the turtle power track at the end of the first one, starting with Splinter's "I... have always liked... 'cowabunga'"

/judith hoag, chick's wife from armageddon, played April O'Neil, gets a shiatton of screen time lookin' hot

Fade2black: Ironically enough, if they made the film entirely Pixar-esque CGI and gave it its original, dark and violent origin stories that it's SUPPOSED to have, I think they'd be surprised at how positive reviews would be.



/?

As for that script... it's basically what happened to the Transformers. What Michael Bay did was

1: Take the G1 mythos and "update" it to be relevant for the times officially - but unofficially it's really whatever makes him giggle uncontrollably or come or both,

2: Give the human teens top billing and have them act like what high school jocks think how losers can almost be "acceptably cool". This usually produces spastic and/or retarded characters who NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Hell yeah I'm cool. I talk down to Bumblebee every damn time I get, even if he can't really talk balk.

3: Set up zero emotional investment in the titular characters. Seriously, who actually cared Jazz died in the 1st movie? Even Ratchet was all like "Motherfarker died, Prime. Can I toss his body down the sewer now?"

urban.derelict: Michael Bay can suck a dick, the original was and forever be the best TMNT movie. The digital animated one released in 2007 will always be 2nd. I bought the movies and ripped the turtle power track at the end of the first one, starting with Splinter's "I... have always liked... 'cowabunga'"

/judith hoag, chick's wife from armageddon, played April O'Neil, gets a shiatton of screen time lookin' hot

Man I forgot about that because the original TMNT came out when I was 11. I'm pretty sure that's where my fetish for redheads started.

I loved that 2007 CG movie! It deserved to perform way better than it did. Unfortunately it wasn't Pixar or another Ice Age or Madagascar, so no one was willing to give it a chance.

/As much as I rail against the studio-based film industry, audiences are just as much to blame.

FirstNationalBastard: Now, if you want to forget this horrible movie is ever going to exist, spend around a 70 bucks and buy the complete run of the classic cartoon, this is coming out in a few months...

[www.tvshowsondvd.com image 550x487]

Wow that looks amazing. All I had as a kid was the VHS tapes you got from burger king and I watched them over and over.

"Donatello: You're a claustrophobic.
Casey Jones: You want a fist in the mouth? I've never even looked at another guy. "

The moment I understood that glorious exchange from the first TMNT movie was the moment I transformed from naive kid to cynical adult.

That wad so bad, I think it gave me cancer.

The Turtles were the one thing in my childhood I was obsessed about. If Michael Bay does this thing then I will have no choice but to make it my lives work to destroy Michael Bay.

Must I do everything?



 

/fine

I was always a fan of the original:


Sure, they'd save the guy from being robbed by the gang punk, but they'd still rob the guy they saved. Pizza doesn't pay for itself, y'know.

He says elsewhere on the site (and even on the same page) that Paramount has canceled he film, so it's all a moot point.

I was always a fan of the comics first and the cartoon second, so I am less bothered with the idea of the turtles are aliens. After all, the original stories had them hopping dimensions and time periods, and their origin was a mutagen that was created by aliens. They even had a crossover with the Flaming Carrot and fought a bunch of evil umpires. Hardly worth getting bothered about.

That stuff with Casey Jones, though? Sacrilege! Casey was always a naive and ineffectual vigilante, and always should be. Not some punk teen playing superhero.

Confabulat: Mugato: I don't have a lot emotionally invested in TMNT but yeah, that sounds bad. What's the point of appealing to the audience's nostalgia and then changing the fark out of everything?

It wasn't even nostalgia at the time, but I dare anyone to explain how the Bob Hoskins/Dennis Hopper Super Mario Bros. movie was related to the ongoing sagas in the Mushroom Kingdom in any way.

I blame drugs. Lots of drugs.

According to Leguzaimo's autobiography, he and Hoskins got pissed after each shooting day. You had two scripts, two sets of incompetent directors, supporting casts trying to attention whore their way into more scenes (Lenny and Iggy if you wanted to know) and what you got was Mario's Cyberpunk Fantasy. They even had to whack the producers with a lead pipe until they agreed to let Mario wear the red jumpsuit at the end.


Whatever the case, I hope the TMNT movie puts Bay's career in the same place Mario Bros put everyone that worked on it.

Has anyone posted the fight the foot link. Because someone should post that and show how easy it would be to make a decent turtles movie

imontheinternet: Vodka Zombie: It seems like they've been committed to making this movie suck from Day One.

Which, naturally, leads me to wonder why they put Michael Bay at the helm instead of M. Knight Shaymalan.

The turtles were squirrels rabbits the whole time.



FTFM

How dare they butcher the inane series of half-hour toy commercials I remember fondly from my childhood when I had absolutely no taste!

I'll see it. I like Michael Bay stuff. It's based on a cartoon aimed at children, what do you really expect? It's like people upset about Transformers, it's his idea of what Transformers or TNMT should be. Nobody is forcing you to watch it. I'll watch it because i like action porn, and that's what his stuff is.

Wouldn't they be Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles by now? That'd make a great movie.

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride

still not as bad as Las Tortugas Pinjas