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(AZ Family)   No matter how much the topic fascinates you, your female co-workers probably don't want to hear you go in detail about your condom coming off during intercourse, but you didn't think you got any sperm in your lover's womb   (azfamily.com) divider line 22
    More: Obvious, council members, 3TV, Julia Gusse, local church, city council member  
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10095 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Aug 2012 at 6:39 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-26 05:56:48 AM
16 votes:
Oh, for fark's sake.

FTA: (The city manager) claimed Marchione talked about his sex life including a "detailed discussion about his condom coming off during sex and his fear that he impregnated the woman; although he went on to state that he didn't think he got any (sperm) in her."
"Just because he didn't grope anyone and didn't physically do anything doesn't mean it wasn't harassment," said (council member) Gusse.


And you sat there and listened to it. Why did YOU not walk away, or simply tell him to stop?

The idea behind "talking about sex = sexual harassment" is inherently sexist. It's based on the myth that women are lesser, delicate creatures who need to be protected from discussions about sex (but only when those discussions are instigated by or include men).

It further assumes that women are too weak to say, "Shut up, jerkbag," to men whose conversation offends their delicate sensibilities, and that these helpless women need the protection of a paternal figure - the state (i.e., government representative, office or agency), via their employer's human resources department.

It's Victorian, it insults all women, and it pisses me off. I don't need the government's or my employer's protection from a guy acting like a guy. Furthermore, a guy has every right to act like a guy. The world does not have to cater to me because I have a vagina. My vagina doesn't render me mute, or helpless. I am not thrown into a quivering state of feminine horror when a man talks about sex in front of me. Or if he tells me I have nice tits.

Knock it off, sisters - or stay out of the workplace. Men are sick of catering to you, and I'm sick of them assuming I think like you.
2012-08-26 05:09:43 AM
6 votes:
If you can yammer on incessantly about your born kids, I can tell you about my unborn ones.

It's called equality, and you wanted it.
2012-08-26 09:23:52 AM
2 votes:
Sexual harassment threads always bring the he-man woman haters out from under their rocks.
2012-08-26 08:45:07 AM
2 votes:

MadAzza: The idea behind "talking about sex = sexual harassment" is inherently sexist.


No, because if a female talks about sex to male coworkers they could just as easily claim it was sexual harassment. They generally don't... but usually either because they don't mind it, or they don't want to appear weak.

In the past, perpetrators of sexual harassment have typically been male, but that's because males dominated the workforce both in numbers and position in the hierarchy. The general idea now is that the workplace is not the locker room or the pub: it's not the appropriate place to discuss your intimate life, no matter who you are. I've never heard of a harassment policy that allows female employees to do anything males cannot.
2012-08-26 06:16:44 AM
2 votes:

MadAzza: Oh, for fark's sake.

FTA: (The city manager) claimed Marchione talked about his sex life including a "detailed discussion about his condom coming off during sex and his fear that he impregnated the woman; although he went on to state that he didn't think he got any (sperm) in her."
"Just because he didn't grope anyone and didn't physically do anything doesn't mean it wasn't harassment," said (council member) Gusse.

And you sat there and listened to it. Why did YOU not walk away, or simply tell him to stop?

The idea behind "talking about sex = sexual harassment" is inherently sexist. It's based on the myth that women are lesser, delicate creatures who need to be protected from discussions about sex (but only when those discussions are instigated by or include men).

It further assumes that women are too weak to say, "Shut up, jerkbag," to men whose conversation offends their delicate sensibilities, and that these helpless women need the protection of a paternal figure - the state (i.e., government representative, office or agency), via their employer's human resources department.

It's Victorian, it insults all women, and it pisses me off. I don't need the government's or my employer's protection from a guy acting like a guy. Furthermore, a guy has every right to act like a guy. The world does not have to cater to me because I have a vagina. My vagina doesn't render me mute, or helpless. I am not thrown into a quivering state of feminine horror when a man talks about sex in front of me. Or if he tells me I have nice tits.

Knock it off, sisters - or stay out of the workplace. Men are sick of catering to you, and I'm sick of them assuming I think like you.


That...that pretty much sums it all up. Winnar is you.
2012-08-27 11:36:58 AM
1 votes:

precious_crotchflake: MadAzza: I fell asleep right after I posted, then woke up this morning to some very nice responses to my rant.

Thank you!

Off I go to to pick up some OT ...

I wouldn't get too happy there with the attention you got sis. Your "rant" was the spineless creed of the pleaserwhore: " Furthermore, a guy has every right to act like a guy. The world does not have to cater to me because I have a vagina" translation: "I want men to like me SO BAD, so I'm gonna tell them their ugly behavior is totally cool with me and women are stoopid, (except me of course, cos I'm one of those cool chicks who think men even with their ugly behavior are awesome!) " I know no one else is reading this thread, which is fine. But I know you'll read this and know that what I say is totally true. So, was a little Fark attention worth it? If so, you sure are a cheap date.


I have to admit, my eyebrows raised when she said it was o.k. for co-workers to tell her she has nice tits. I did not know women needed approval on their breast size from their co-workers.

The fact that she is ducking is there are appropriate and inappropriate behaviors for *everyone* in the work place, and it is inappropriate for *anyone* to discuss the graphic physical details of their sex life with co-workers in the office. It's not being "Victorian" and "sexist," it's called "being professional." In fact, in many workplaces open discussion of any medical issue is frowned on. My boss does not want to know what I have doctors' appointments for because it is an HR issue. He need only know when I will not be in the office because of them.

Granted, the kitchen world is another world entirely. A butcher's knife and a spray can of oven cleaner stopped the physical harassment, the verbal I just bantered.
2012-08-27 10:42:19 AM
1 votes:

MadAzza: I fell asleep right after I posted, then woke up this morning to some very nice responses to my rant.

Thank you!

Off I go to to pick up some OT ...


I wouldn't get too happy there with the attention you got sis. Your "rant" was the spineless creed of the pleaserwhore: " Furthermore, a guy has every right to act like a guy. The world does not have to cater to me because I have a vagina" translation: "I want men to like me SO BAD, so I'm gonna tell them their ugly behavior is totally cool with me and women are stoopid, (except me of course, cos I'm one of those cool chicks who think men even with their ugly behavior are awesome!) " I know no one else is reading this thread, which is fine. But I know you'll read this and know that what I say is totally true. So, was a little Fark attention worth it? If so, you sure are a cheap date.
2012-08-26 06:42:09 PM
1 votes:
I'm so farking glad I work in a kitchen.
2012-08-26 11:29:40 AM
1 votes:

vudukungfu: It's based on the myth that women are lesser, delicate creatures who need to be protected from discussions about sex


only if you don't think there are men out there who are too timid or passive to act on problems that they would be wholly in the right to try solving, and shouldn't have to deal with in the first place
2012-08-26 10:54:03 AM
1 votes:

Oh_Enough_Already: Fair enough, but any man who went to HR to complain about you doing so would either be A) Laughed out of the office, or B) Charged with harassment himself for talking about what you talked about in front of him.

So, you know, there's that.


Which means you just won the workplace harassment suit lottery. What's the problem?

Anyway, your concept of "HR" as anything but a whole department dedicated to preventing lawsuits is about 30 years out of date. The only situation I've ever seen your scenario happen is when the owner of the company is HR.
2012-08-26 10:36:09 AM
1 votes:
foxyshadis:
Aside from having apparently obtained most of your ideas from Mad Men or the modern holdovers of the era, you have absolutely GOT to know who you're talking to thought, because men have filed sexual harassment claims over situations where they were too timid to get out of uncomfortable situations, or where coworkers just won't shut up no matter how many times they're asked. Doesn't even have to be bosses. It doesn't matter if it's all just the boys and you're angels around the girls, you'll get fired if one of them isn't really into it anyway.

Well said, if I work with you and you're not my good friend, I don't want to hear your (probable lies) about your sex life, or even anything a little too private. If you're my good friend, you know our comfort level well enough to know what to say and what not to say.
2012-08-26 10:29:38 AM
1 votes:

NickelP: GF named my left testicle thundercles: at my old job, the girls liked to run up behind me and slap my ass while i was leaning over a counter doing paper work. i usually would come home from work with scratches bruises and bite marks every day. once i smacked a a girl on the arm and although she was laughing and smiling and slapping back, i got called into the managers office later that week. really dumb double standard. i quit that job.

I had a female coworker tell me and a group of other employees about her sexual escapades with the boss. During this entire thing she called another coworker a whore for the most part. The chick that got called a whore (who was but thats another story) got pissy and told a senior manager about it. Long story short nothing happened to the chick bragging about getting railed by the owner and since apparently I was the only male in the room I got yelled at for not reporting sexual harassment and just minding my own bussiness???? WTF???


The proper response to both situations above is "It sounds like you're saying I was sexually harassed and have a good case." You'll see the whites of HR's eyes and they won't bother you again.

/apologies for typos in previous post, still hung over
2012-08-26 10:25:33 AM
1 votes:

MadAzza: The idea behind "talking about sex = sexual harassment" is inherently sexist. It's based on the myth that women are lesser, delicate creatures who need to be protected from discussions about sex (but only when those discussions are instigated by or include men).


If you think all of your male coworkers actually enjoying hearing graphic details about your threesome or bar hookup last night, you're probably going to be the subject of a settlement someday. Yep, happens between men too. You ought to look up male-male sexual harassment and female-female sexual harassment cases, and I'm not even talking about gay come-ons. The technical name for sexual harassment is actually "hostile work environment" when is basically whenever you have very sharp differences in comfort zones; one person overshares and one undershares and when they meet or just sit too close to each other bad things happen. Doesn't have to be the boss, although that's the slam dunk, and it certainly doesn't have to be male-to-female.

NickelP: Are you farking joking? See my last post. The workplace is somewhere you spend at least 8 hours a day with other people. People *Gasp* occasionally like to talk about personal stuff. If you aren't doing it in an intimidating way who cares? For the most part now you have a boys club that jokes about shiat like a condom falling off then a female walks up and everyone shuts the fark up because they don't want to get in trouble. I like women in the work place, they make it much funner, and I work with and have worked with some amazing women. To pretend female and male harassment policies don't differ is just dishonest. Maybe 'officially' but in reality if you are a male you have to watch every little thing you say around a female at work that deals with sex. As a female, you could pull your panties down and go to town with a stapler in front of another coworker. If he complained his boss (assuming its a man) would be like "so is she fat or are you gay?" Maybe this makes me a sexist but if a male told me about the whole condom falling off thing I am coming back with small dick jokes and bsing/teasing him, and we both laugh. If a female tells me that I am saying something real short like 'well that sucks' and walking the fark away.


Aside from having apparently obtained most of your ideas from Mad Men or the modern holdovers of the era, you have absolutely GOT to know who you're talking to thought, because men have filed sexual harassment claims over situations where they were too timid to get out of uncomfortable situations, or where coworkers just won't shut up no matter how many times they're asked. Doesn't even have to be bosses. It doesn't matter if it's all just the boys and you're angels around the girls, you'll get fired if one of them isn't really into it anyway.
2012-08-26 10:23:02 AM
1 votes:
NickelP:
To pretend female and male harassment policies don't differ is just dishonest. Maybe 'officially' but in reality if you are a male you have to watch every little thing you say around a female at work that deals with sex. As a female, you could pull your panties down and go to town with a stapler in front of another coworker. If he complained his boss (assuming its a man) would be like "so is she fat or are you gay?"

Um, troll much? You pretty much just told me I'm full of crap, then reiterated what I said. The policy is the same for men and women... that's what "officially" means. How men and women typically respond to situations may be different.

Also, "personal stuff" at work is generally fine, when it's "hey I bought a sweet new motorcycle this weekend"/"my kid got in so much trouble at school"/"That new Batman movie sucks"... not "Let me tell you about my sex life".

Sheesh, so much butthurt derived from the conviction that women are out to steal your testicles.
2012-08-26 09:03:59 AM
1 votes:

KiplingKat872: It's when my female co-workers all on "diets" and talk incessantly about food that I want to shoot myself in the head, but then every office has a male work outfreak who needs to tell you how many reps he did that morning, and all the sports talk gets really really boring too.

Both sexes can be incredibly tedious at times.

 

The gabbiest, most tedious coworker I ever had was a man. Whenever I hear men complain about women's conversations I think they must be deaf to all the endless talk about golf that they engage in.
2012-08-26 08:01:46 AM
1 votes:

433: Tact, manners, decorum, professionalism. One might think that human resources would press applicants to display any of the aforementioned qualities, but in every office with a chair I've occupied, it's seemed that the process of bringing on new hires involves panning for gold dust with a rusted sieve.


The social tone of an office is something. I don't believe (nor do I believe any employed person here believes) that keeping a workplace comfortably civil is as simple a matter as screening new hires. I think we'd all agree that this is a nebulous thing that has to be worked out among all the people concerned, though the boss has a strong influence (and responsibility) to see that everyone is conducting themselves in a seemly manner.

Some people have rougher habits of speech than the rest of the office. Often it's a simple matter of background. It shouldn't be a big deal. All it takes is to pull someone aside and have a frank talk about expectations. When I see a big blow-up over this sort of thing I assume that no one has had the guts to do this, and that they've let it simmer until they can't endure it any longer. You can't put this sort of thing on HR. It's a fault of poor (basically gutless) management.
2012-08-26 07:26:21 AM
1 votes:
How do you do this anyways? Is this something that happens when you put a magnum xxl on your small wiener? I've broke condoms but never had one just 'fall off'.
2012-08-26 07:23:19 AM
1 votes:

OhioUGrad:

Not to mention all the retarded shiat that women talk about at work that men don't want to hear about. Especially older and/or obese women.


And the birthday parties. We're all grown adults, do we really have to have an office party with cake and cookies every time someone has a birthday? If you work in an office with a lot of women, you do.

I'd rather hear about my coworker's fishing expedition with the lost condom. Not because it's terribly interesting, but because as a grown adult who has had sex, I find it about as neutral a topic as the weather.
2012-08-26 07:16:55 AM
1 votes:
In the spirit of full equality, I expect all men to welcome conversation about my menstrual cycle, including days and flow consistancy.

There is such a thing as a time and place for everything, as well as TMI. Discussing the physical details of your sex life with people who have expressed no interest, from your co-workers to people on the train, is just creepy.
The internet has made a lot of people assume that everyone is intetested in the deepest most down and dirty details of their personal lives, but that just does not translate into the real world. If my best friend wants to discuss what is happening in the bedroom, cool. But I am really not interested in what my co-workers sex lives are like, male or female.

As for how she handled this, he was the council member and she worked in his office, meaning he wasn't a co-worker. He was her boss. That puts a different spin on this situation.

And maybe she did ask him to STFU and he didn't. Someone with that level of trouble with common discretion usually does not respond to polite requests.
2012-08-26 07:10:14 AM
1 votes:

doglover: If you can yammer on incessantly about your born kids, I can tell you about my unborn ones.

It's called equality, and you wanted it.


Not to mention all the retarded shiat that women talk about at work that men don't want to hear about. Especially older and/or obese women.
2012-08-26 06:51:45 AM
1 votes:

batcookie: doglover: If you can yammer on incessantly about your born kids, I can tell you about my unborn ones.

It's called equality, and you wanted it.

Actually, the equality that would be best would be both parties to shut up about each. I get so annoyed when ANYONE talks about their kids. More so than talking about who they're farking this week, actually.

MadAzza: Oh, for fark's sake.

FTA: (The city manager) claimed Marchione talked about his sex life including a "detailed discussion about his condom coming off during sex and his fear that he impregnated the woman; although he went on to state that he didn't think he got any (sperm) in her."
"Just because he didn't grope anyone and didn't physically do anything doesn't mean it wasn't harassment," said (council member) Gusse.

And you sat there and listened to it. Why did YOU not walk away, or simply tell him to stop?

The idea behind "talking about sex = sexual harassment" is inherently sexist. It's based on the myth that women are lesser, delicate creatures who need to be protected from discussions about sex (but only when those discussions are instigated by or include men).

It further assumes that women are too weak to say, "Shut up, jerkbag," to men whose conversation offends their delicate sensibilities, and that these helpless women need the protection of a paternal figure - the state (i.e., government representative, office or agency), via their employer's human resources department.

It's Victorian, it insults all women, and it pisses me off. I don't need the government's or my employer's protection from a guy acting like a guy. Furthermore, a guy has every right to act like a guy. The world does not have to cater to me because I have a vagina. My vagina doesn't render me mute, or helpless. I am not thrown into a quivering state of feminine horror when a man talks about sex in front of me. Or if he tells me I have nice tits.

Knock it off, sisters - or stay out of the workplace. Men are sick of catering to you, ...


Tell him to STFU and GBTW and move on. I'm thinking that he's done something else and this is just an excuse. Who could trust a woman with hair like that anyhow?
2012-08-26 06:47:53 AM
1 votes:

doglover: If you can yammer on incessantly about your born kids, I can tell you about my unborn ones.

It's called equality, and you wanted it.


Actually, the equality that would be best would be both parties to shut up about each. I get so annoyed when ANYONE talks about their kids. More so than talking about who they're farking this week, actually.

MadAzza: Oh, for fark's sake.

FTA: (The city manager) claimed Marchione talked about his sex life including a "detailed discussion about his condom coming off during sex and his fear that he impregnated the woman; although he went on to state that he didn't think he got any (sperm) in her."
"Just because he didn't grope anyone and didn't physically do anything doesn't mean it wasn't harassment," said (council member) Gusse.

And you sat there and listened to it. Why did YOU not walk away, or simply tell him to stop?

The idea behind "talking about sex = sexual harassment" is inherently sexist. It's based on the myth that women are lesser, delicate creatures who need to be protected from discussions about sex (but only when those discussions are instigated by or include men).

It further assumes that women are too weak to say, "Shut up, jerkbag," to men whose conversation offends their delicate sensibilities, and that these helpless women need the protection of a paternal figure - the state (i.e., government representative, office or agency), via their employer's human resources department.

It's Victorian, it insults all women, and it pisses me off. I don't need the government's or my employer's protection from a guy acting like a guy. Furthermore, a guy has every right to act like a guy. The world does not have to cater to me because I have a vagina. My vagina doesn't render me mute, or helpless. I am not thrown into a quivering state of feminine horror when a man talks about sex in front of me. Or if he tells me I have nice tits.

Knock it off, sisters - or stay out of the workplace. Men are sick of catering to you, and I'm sick of them assuming I think like you.


So well said. You are now favorited, and I second this. These people make me ashamed to share the double X chromosomal make up with them.
 
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