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(Newser)   Forget the usual shots of couples smiling on the grass and cutting the wedding cake. A new breed of bridal photographer is capturing newlyweds "the morning after" in various states of intimate embrace   (newser.com) divider line 77
    More: Strange, couples smiling, couples  
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20255 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Aug 2012 at 3:20 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-25 10:13:17 PM  
Show the bloody bedsheet to the people!
 
2012-08-25 10:53:39 PM  
The morning after my wedding my wife puked so much in the hotel bathroom the maid knocked on the door and asked if we needed a doctor. I'm sure we would have made quite the romantic picture.
 
2012-08-25 10:54:23 PM  
One newlywed, however, loved it so much she plans to show the shots to her kids

What kid DOESN'T want to see parent porn?
 
2012-08-25 11:47:00 PM  
img2-cdn.newser.com

"Now that you are officially mine... I FEED!"
 
2012-08-26 12:08:38 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: Show the bloody bedsheet to the people!


You really think the ones signing up for racy "morning after" shots are the ones who "saved themselves for marriage"?
 
2012-08-26 03:26:00 AM  
Forget that. Take wedding night photos then sell them online to pay off the wedding and eventual divorce lawyer.
 
2012-08-26 03:26:50 AM  

Chariset: BarkingUnicorn: Show the bloody bedsheet to the people!

You really think the ones signing up for racy "morning after" shots are the ones who "saved themselves for marriage"?


Who said it was from her hymen? People be all into some kinky shiat.
 
2012-08-26 03:37:58 AM  

Cyno01: Chariset: BarkingUnicorn: Show the bloody bedsheet to the people!

You really think the ones signing up for racy "morning after" shots are the ones who "saved themselves for marriage"?

Who said it was from her hymen? People be all into some kinky shiat.


Where do you party?

I want to be as far away from it as possible
 
2012-08-26 03:41:31 AM  
www.skincareihub.com

It's conditioner, you perv.
 
2012-08-26 03:41:57 AM  
*yawn*

Might as well...in a year, you're going to be showing me pictures of the inside of your uterus to announce that his sperm managed to find one of your eggs anyhow.
 
2012-08-26 03:42:08 AM  

Hobo Jr.: Cyno01: Chariset: BarkingUnicorn: Show the bloody bedsheet to the people!

You really think the ones signing up for racy "morning after" shots are the ones who "saved themselves for marriage"?

Who said it was from her hymen? People be all into some kinky shiat.

Where do you party?

I want to be as far away from it as possible


Not a fan of menophiliacs, eh?
 
2012-08-26 03:44:52 AM  

rogue_L_chick: *yawn*

Might as well...in a year, you're going to be showing me pictures of the inside of your uterus to announce that his sperm managed to find one of your eggs anyhow.


xhamster can get you fixed up there. Reverse angle shots from the inside are kinda weird, btw.
 
2012-08-26 03:46:39 AM  
i168.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-26 03:47:20 AM  

Lsherm: The morning after my wedding my wife puked so much in the hotel bathroom the maid knocked on the door and asked if we needed a doctor. I'm sure we would have made quite the romantic picture.


Same thing happened to Rod Stewart back in the day. Did she get her stomach pumped?
 
2012-08-26 03:47:30 AM  
Why not just make a sex tape if the awkward tired wedding night sex and distribute it to all the relatives. Grandma would love that...so would the future kids (or current kids, i guess).
 
2012-08-26 03:48:18 AM  
One newlywed, however, loved it so much she plans to show the shots to her kids: "I wouldn't show this to them at the age of 10. But when they're older and can understand it."

oh lawd.

They will kill their parents and I hope they walk free.
 
2012-08-26 03:54:55 AM  

Relatively Obscure: One newlywed, however, loved it so much she plans to show the shots to her kids

What kid DOESN'T want to see parent porn?


And you see son? That is how you give your mother the Alabama crab dangle.
 
2012-08-26 03:57:49 AM  
This bizarre marital celebration
Of capturing post-consummation
Doesn't sound too romantic-
(And I hate to sound pedantic)
Of a coda to great penetration.
 
2012-08-26 03:58:44 AM  

ElLoco: rogue_L_chick: *yawn*

Might as well...in a year, you're going to be showing me pictures of the inside of your uterus to announce that his sperm managed to find one of your eggs anyhow.

xhamster can get you fixed up there. Reverse angle shots from the inside are kinda weird, btw.


That sounds extremely gross, but as an experienced denizen of this internet I must now search for it.
 
2012-08-26 03:59:50 AM  
lh4.googleusercontent.com
 
2012-08-26 04:00:20 AM  
Great. Sex pictures just as fake as the rest of the wedding pictures.
 
2012-08-26 04:00:54 AM  

EmmaLou: Why not just make a sex tape if the awkward tired wedding night sex and distribute it to all the relatives. Grandma would love that...so would the future kids (or current kids, i guess).


Yeah, from what I hear, everyone's wedding night is not a sextravaganza. My mom says my dad wasted $5 worth of quarters and a bottle of Evan Williams trying to get her to perk up after an exhausting day. I ended up spending my own wedding night begging my new husband to go buy me some Mr. Bubbles and a 2 liter of 7-Up as I had come down with the flu the morning of our nuptials. Luckily, we had already been banging away like mad for over a year, otherwise he might have been put out that I didn't put out.
 
2012-08-26 04:04:17 AM  
My understanding is *most* people's wedding night kind of suck.

When couples pull these public displays of "look how much we luuuurve each other" false imtimacy, I start taking bets on the divorce pool.
 
2012-08-26 04:04:54 AM  

rogue_L_chick: EmmaLou: Why not just make a sex tape if the awkward tired wedding night sex and distribute it to all the relatives. Grandma would love that...so would the future kids (or current kids, i guess).

Yeah, from what I hear, everyone's wedding night is not a sextravaganza. My mom says my dad wasted $5 worth of quarters and a bottle of Evan Williams trying to get her to perk up after an exhausting day. I ended up spending my own wedding night begging my new husband to go buy me some Mr. Bubbles and a 2 liter of 7-Up as I had come down with the flu the morning of our nuptials. Luckily, we had already been banging away like mad for over a year, otherwise he might have been put out that I didn't put out.


$5 dollars worth of quarters?

I hate to break it to you but your mom was merely a cheap prostitute.
 
2012-08-26 04:13:48 AM  

Hobo Jr.: rogue_L_chick: EmmaLou: Why not just make a sex tape if the awkward tired wedding night sex and distribute it to all the relatives. Grandma would love that...so would the future kids (or current kids, i guess).

Yeah, from what I hear, everyone's wedding night is not a sextravaganza. My mom says my dad wasted $5 worth of quarters and a bottle of Evan Williams trying to get her to perk up after an exhausting day. I ended up spending my own wedding night begging my new husband to go buy me some Mr. Bubbles and a 2 liter of 7-Up as I had come down with the flu the morning of our nuptials. Luckily, we had already been banging away like mad for over a year, otherwise he might have been put out that I didn't put out.

$5 dollars worth of quarters?

I hate to break it to you but your mom was merely a cheap prostitute.


I hate to break it to you, but you were overpaying if you spent more than that on a redneck girl in 1974.
 
2012-08-26 04:16:13 AM  
I suddenly wonder if I am speaking to those who do not remember the vibrating beds gracing our great country's motels in decades past.

If so, $5 was quite a lot to massage a lady into the arms of romance back then, you whippersnapper.
 
2012-08-26 04:23:18 AM  
So Rosie O'Donnell is getting hitched soon, right?
 
2012-08-26 04:29:01 AM  
Not all photos are for other people. I have photos of my past that would be unremarkable (at best) to other people if I wanted to be a bore and show them around, yet if I look at them and recall the events they captured, it's enough to keep me thoughtful for a long time. Then again, maybe you have to be middle-aged to appreciate it.

I don't have many regrets from my youth, but one of them is that I never bothered to take photos of the more remarkable events.
 
2012-08-26 04:40:36 AM  

rogue_L_chick: I suddenly wonder if I am speaking to those who do not remember the vibrating beds gracing our great country's motels in decades past.

If so, $5 was quite a lot to massage a lady into the arms of romance back then, you whippersnapper.


That detail should have been included. 5 bucks was quite a long ride on one of those beds.
 
2012-08-26 04:43:33 AM  

KiplingKat872: Great. Sex pictures just as fake as the rest of the wedding pictures.


When I got married, my wedding photographer was my step-brother. When he agreed I told him "I am only doing six staged shots, and that's only because I've been told that I have to do some wedding photos. Beyond that, all shots are to be non-staged action shots." He said "You're not paying me and you're a defiant jackass, getting you to follow directions for six staged shots would be a miracle."

CSB time:

I was engaged four times before I got married. First was to a high school girlfriend and she dumped me because I was cheating on her. Her fault because she wasn't putting out.

Second was a Catholic chick. She got pissed when we watched a Catholic wedding on tv and I protested saying "They are on their knees. I kneel before no man, not doing a Catholic wedding, fark that!" So I cheated on her and she found out and we broke up.

Third chick was Lutheran. She agreed that kneeling before anyone who is not Zod is retarded. We only got along when we were having sex. When we wore clothes we just fought. So one day, after a fight, I cheated on her, went home, tried to make up by writing her a love poem about how awesome I am. The crazy chick got pissed for some unknown reason about the love poem, so we got into another fight, I cheated on her again and we broke up.

Fourth chick I finally married. We've been together a long ass time, almost three years. I think I found the root cause to my past relationship problems: biatches be crazy some times.
 
2012-08-26 04:47:14 AM  

rogue_L_chick: I suddenly wonder if I am speaking to those who do not remember the vibrating beds gracing our great country's motels in decades past.

If so, $5 was quite a lot to massage a lady into the arms of romance back then, you whippersnapper.


bwahaha! and here i was picturing her yelling "finito! finito!" every time he shoved another quarter up her arse.

/i keed, i keed
 
2012-08-26 04:49:44 AM  

rogue_L_chick: EmmaLou: Why not just make a sex tape if the awkward tired wedding night sex and distribute it to all the relatives. Grandma would love that...so would the future kids (or current kids, i guess).

Yeah, from what I hear, everyone's wedding night is not a sextravaganza. My mom says my dad wasted $5 worth of quarters and a bottle of Evan Williams trying to get her to perk up after an exhausting day. I ended up spending my own wedding night begging my new husband to go buy me some Mr. Bubbles and a 2 liter of 7-Up as I had come down with the flu the morning of our nuptials. Luckily, we had already been banging away like mad for over a year, otherwise he might have been put out that I didn't put out.


Our wedding night was fine, it was the honeymoon where my wife got sick. In a gorgeous (and expensive) resort for four nights, and the highlight was when she regained her ability to eat crackers without blowing chunks. I took lots of walks, and took lots of pictures. To this day, I don't think my wife has looked at them.
 
2012-08-26 04:50:01 AM  

Great Janitor: KiplingKat872: Great. Sex pictures just as fake as the rest of the wedding pictures.

When I got married, my wedding photographer was my step-brother. When he agreed I told him "I am only doing six staged shots, and that's only because I've been told that I have to do some wedding photos. Beyond that, all shots are to be non-staged action shots." He said "You're not paying me and you're a defiant jackass, getting you to follow directions for six staged shots would be a miracle."

CSB time:

I was engaged four times before I got married. First was to a high school girlfriend and she dumped me because I was cheating on her. Her fault because she wasn't putting out.

Second was a Catholic chick. She got pissed when we watched a Catholic wedding on tv and I protested saying "They are on their knees. I kneel before no man, not doing a Catholic wedding, fark that!" So I cheated on her and she found out and we broke up.

Third chick was Lutheran. She agreed that kneeling before anyone who is not Zod is retarded. We only got along when we were having sex. When we wore clothes we just fought. So one day, after a fight, I cheated on her, went home, tried to make up by writing her a love poem about how awesome I am. The crazy chick got pissed for some unknown reason about the love poem, so we got into another fight, I cheated on her again and we broke up.

Fourth chick I finally married. We've been together a long ass time, almost three years. I think I found the root cause to my past relationship problems: biatches be crazy some times.


Seems legit.
 
2012-08-26 04:54:17 AM  

Hobo Jr.: Alabama crab dangle


For those not in the know
Link
 
2012-08-26 04:56:45 AM  

blackhonda: Hobo Jr.: Alabama crab dangle

For those not in the know
Link


I learn so much here.
 
2012-08-26 05:05:55 AM  

blackhonda: Hobo Jr.: Alabama crab dangle

For those not in the know
Link


Oh, urbandictionary. Your goal was noble, but you are only frat boy fictional sex acts now.
RIP, friend.
 
2012-08-26 05:11:12 AM  

God-is-a-Taco: blackhonda: Hobo Jr.: Alabama crab dangle

For those not in the know
Link

Oh, urbandictionary. Your goal was noble, but you are only frat boy fictional sex acts now.
RIP, friend.


Huh? Getting it from behind, while one foot is on the bed, rather than the floor is a fictional thing? Did I read that wrong?
 
2012-08-26 05:35:47 AM  
It would be worth a lot of good money to see the "after" shots of Mormon virgins.

Caption: Where hell was God last night??
 
2012-08-26 05:48:26 AM  
www.nydailynews.com
 
2012-08-26 06:06:22 AM  

Great Janitor: KiplingKat872: Great. Sex pictures just as fake as the rest of the wedding pictures.

When I got married, my wedding photographer was my step-brother. When he agreed I told him "I am only doing six staged shots, and that's only because I've been told that I have to do some wedding photos. Beyond that, all shots are to be non-staged action shots." He said "You're not paying me and you're a defiant jackass, getting you to follow directions for six staged shots would be a miracle."

CSB time:

I was engaged four times before I got married. First was to a high school girlfriend and she dumped me because I was cheating on her. Her fault because she wasn't putting out.

Second was a Catholic chick. She got pissed when we watched a Catholic wedding on tv and I protested saying "They are on their knees. I kneel before no man, not doing a Catholic wedding, fark that!" So I cheated on her and she found out and we broke up.

Third chick was Lutheran. She agreed that kneeling before anyone who is not Zod is retarded. We only got along when we were having sex. When we wore clothes we just fought. So one day, after a fight, I cheated on her, went home, tried to make up by writing her a love poem about how awesome I am. The crazy chick got pissed for some unknown reason about the love poem, so we got into another fight, I cheated on her again and we broke up.

Fourth chick I finally married. We've been together a long ass time, almost three years. I think I found the root cause to my past relationship problems: biatches be crazy some times.


Yah, three years is sure a long time. Waiting for the "and then I cheated on her." How about break it off and be a man about it? Cheaters will always be cheaters.
 
2012-08-26 06:08:19 AM  

the_colors: Great Janitor: KiplingKat872: Great. Sex pictures just as fake as the rest of the wedding pictures.

When I got married, my wedding photographer was my step-brother. When he agreed I told him "I am only doing six staged shots, and that's only because I've been told that I have to do some wedding photos. Beyond that, all shots are to be non-staged action shots." He said "You're not paying me and you're a defiant jackass, getting you to follow directions for six staged shots would be a miracle."

CSB time:

I was engaged four times before I got married. First was to a high school girlfriend and she dumped me because I was cheating on her. Her fault because she wasn't putting out.

Second was a Catholic chick. She got pissed when we watched a Catholic wedding on tv and I protested saying "They are on their knees. I kneel before no man, not doing a Catholic wedding, fark that!" So I cheated on her and she found out and we broke up.

Third chick was Lutheran. She agreed that kneeling before anyone who is not Zod is retarded. We only got along when we were having sex. When we wore clothes we just fought. So one day, after a fight, I cheated on her, went home, tried to make up by writing her a love poem about how awesome I am. The crazy chick got pissed for some unknown reason about the love poem, so we got into another fight, I cheated on her again and we broke up.

Fourth chick I finally married. We've been together a long ass time, almost three years. I think I found the root cause to my past relationship problems: biatches be crazy some times.

Seems legit.


Haha!! That's exactly what I was gonna say!!
 
2012-08-26 06:10:02 AM  
There's got to be a morning after
If we can hold on thru the night
We have a chance to find the sunshine
Let's keep on looking for the light.

Oh can't you see the morning after?
It's waiting right outside the storm
Why don't we cross the bridge together
And find the place that's safe and warm.

It's not too late, we should be giving
Only with love can we climb
It's not too late, not while we're living
Let's put our hands out in time.

There's got to be a morning after
We're moving closer to the shore
I know we'll be there by tomorrow
And we'll escape the darkness
We won't be searching anymore.


There's got to be a morning after -REPEAT-

(There's got to be a morning after) -REPEAT-

(c) Copyright 1972
 
2012-08-26 06:14:33 AM  

rogue_L_chick: God-is-a-Taco: blackhonda: Hobo Jr.: Alabama crab dangle

For those not in the know
Link

Oh, urbandictionary. Your goal was noble, but you are only frat boy fictional sex acts now.
RIP, friend.

Huh? Getting it from behind, while one foot is on the bed, rather than the floor is a fictional thing? Did I read that wrong?


Oh, I didn't actually read it. But that's all urban dictionary is these days.
Just look to the sidebar on the left in related terms and you'll see what I mean.

Hurr durr adjective town name noun noun. penis into vagina FART penis fart lulz
 
2012-08-26 06:27:46 AM  
Dammit - I spend a couplea hundred bucks on your present and the best you can do is some morning-after shots ? If I'm not getting a getting super-high def video of someone, elbow deep in someone else, I've been gypped.
 
2012-08-26 06:45:59 AM  
cdn2.screenjunkies.com
 
2012-08-26 06:59:02 AM  
Relevant:

Link
 
2012-08-26 07:00:46 AM  
verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-08-26 07:38:59 AM  
EmmaLou:
awkward tired wedding night sex

This probably sums up most wedding nights. Even if you don't do any of the actual work yourself... getting married is hard work! Plus, you've likely done it already, and supposedly have your whole lives to keep doing it.
 
2012-08-26 09:22:18 AM  
I think the photos would be nice to have around in 10-20 years, to show to your wife the clear evidence that indeed she did at one point in her life put out.
 
2012-08-26 09:34:21 AM  
Hopefully and with a bit of luck this will go the way of the 'wreck the dress' from a few years back.
 
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