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(Reuters)   Secretary-General of UN: "No one, not even the United Nations, would ever mess with Texas." I guess the great Texas civil war this fall will be uncontested   (reuters.com ) divider line
    More: Followup, Secretary-General, Texas, Southern United States, civil wars, civil unrest, Empire State, Empire State Building  
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8139 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Aug 2012 at 3:49 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-25 10:40:30 AM  
"It's absolutely ridiculous," said U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon's spokesman, Martin Nesirky, when asked if the United Nations had any plans to invade Texas.

He later added: "No one, not even the United Nations, would ever mess with Texas."


Funny stuff. So Texas once again becomes an international punchline.
 
2012-08-25 11:02:37 AM  
I still don't get this irrational hatred and fear of the almost-comically powerless UN.

I know words are weapons, but seriously? How much damage can a strongly-worded letter actually do, and what's the half-life on a handful of angry adjectives to a people who can hardly even read?
 
2012-08-25 11:05:59 AM  

Vodka Zombie: I still don't get this irrational hatred and fear of the almost-comically powerless UN.

I know words are weapons, but seriously? How much damage can a strongly-worded letter actually do, and what's the half-life on a handful of angry adjectives to a people who can hardly even read?


I have to suspect the judge was taking a cue from Sheriff Joe: stir up anti-Obama fever for fun and profit.
 
2012-08-25 11:36:03 AM  

Vodka Zombie: I still don't get this irrational hatred and fear of the almost-comically powerless UN.

I know words are weapons, but seriously? How much damage can a strongly-worded letter actually do, and what's the half-life on a handful of angry adjectives to a people who can hardly even read?


When your political strategy depends on sustaining a bunker mentality in your followers, you require an external enemy, preferably one whose motives and functioning are beyond the comprehension of your target demographic. The Soviet Union fulfilled that role perfectly before the end of the Cold War.

The apparent powerlessness of the UN only serves to reinforce how secretly powerful it is: not only does it have squadrons of silent helicopters ready to disembark hundreds of highly-trained, black-suited militiamen at a moments notice, but it has also managed to conceal their existence from all but the most diligent truthseekers.
 
2012-08-25 12:57:38 PM  

Vodka Zombie: I know words are weapons, but seriously? How much damage can a strongly-worded letter actually do, and what's the half-life on a handful of angry adjectives to a people who can hardly even read?


That was beautiful, just beautiful.
 
2012-08-25 01:11:52 PM  

Vodka Zombie: I still don't get this irrational hatred and fear of the almost-comically powerless UN.


It makes a little more sense if you're deranged enough to believe Bible doomsday philosophies and interpret their end of the world government and anti-Christ as the UN.
 
2012-08-25 01:55:45 PM  
I always assumed "mess with" meant "don't mention anything negative or the perpetually butt-hurt prideful morons might get offended"

Seriously, Texas, you have issues.
 
2012-08-25 02:53:57 PM  
That whole thing reads like an article from The Onion.

I'm gobsmacked that anyone is that stupid, much less a sitting judge. And the irony of using it to to justify raising taxes.

It's just delicious.
 
2012-08-25 03:28:12 PM  
 
2012-08-25 03:31:41 PM  

Babwa Wawa: That whole thing reads like an article from The Onion.

I'm gobsmacked that anyone is that stupid, much less a sitting judge.



the smartest local rube is still a local rube. they don't elect no judges that got them fancy book learnin in em
 
2012-08-25 03:52:09 PM  
Stay away, we have have West Nile
 
2012-08-25 03:52:16 PM  
Arizona and Texas could very well be a nation on their own, with pockets of open resistance from the majority, fighting radiated yokels with plasma guns and power armor.
 
2012-08-25 03:54:35 PM  

Vodka Zombie: I still don't get this irrational hatred and fear of the almost-comically powerless UN.

I know words are weapons, but seriously? How much damage can a strongly-worded letter actually do, and what's the half-life on a handful of angry adjectives to a people who can hardly even read?


I think it's because the UN is one of the few places where those loser countries full of blah people get to tell God's America that it isn't all that great.
 
2012-08-25 03:56:29 PM  
 
2012-08-25 03:57:46 PM  
Just remember, this is Lubbock. Most people in Texas refuse to even acknowledge that part of the state.
 
2012-08-25 03:59:41 PM  

MyPoolLeaks: Just remember, this is Lubbock. Most people in Texas refuse to even acknowledge that part of the state.


They have Lubbock... Up here we have New Hampshire.
 
2012-08-25 03:59:46 PM  
My grandmother was from Brownsville. Considering what she was like, I wouldn't even go near Texas.
 
2012-08-25 03:59:46 PM  
so, um, the UN won't come to Texas and litter? that's nice. and that's also what "Don't Mess With Texas" means. don't litter. throw a McDonalds wrapper on the highway and you're messin' with Texas.
 
2012-08-25 04:01:20 PM  

Vodka Zombie: I still don't get this irrational hatred and fear of the almost-comically powerless UN.

I know words are weapons, but seriously? How much damage can a strongly-worded letter actually do, and what's the half-life on a handful of angry adjectives to a people who can hardly even read?


If words were weapons they'd have nothing worth disarming in Texas.
 
2012-08-25 04:01:24 PM  

Generation_D: I always assumed "mess with" meant "don't mention anything negative or the perpetually butt-hurt prideful morons might get offended"

Seriously, Texas, you have issues.


images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-08-25 04:05:13 PM  

St_Francis_P: Vodka Zombie: I still don't get this irrational hatred and fear of the almost-comically powerless UN.

I know words are weapons, but seriously? How much damage can a strongly-worded letter actually do, and what's the half-life on a handful of angry adjectives to a people who can hardly even read?

I have to suspect the judge was taking a cue from Sheriff Joe: stir up anti-Obama fever for fun and profit.


well, it is election time, and the judges down here do run for election for their position. So it's entirely possible this idiot was trying to make good with the nuttier of his constituents.

can't wait till election season is over, if i here how one more penny ante local politician running for office claims how he'll fight Obama, or work against washington, i may have to take up drinking
 
2012-08-25 04:06:25 PM  

Generation_D: I always assumed "mess with" meant "don't mention anything negative or the perpetually butt-hurt prideful morons might get offended"

Seriously, Texas, you have issues.


it's an anti litter campaign, so i do appreciate the UN stating it ain't going to make a mess down here.
 
2012-08-25 04:06:59 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-25 04:07:16 PM  
Lubbock ... if you can drink the water, you can handle the crazy.

/or vice versa
 
2012-08-25 04:07:28 PM  
Can we please give that state back to Mexico.
We can even let Romney's family run it....they're already there.
 
2012-08-25 04:10:26 PM  

Sgygus: Lubbock ... if you can drink the water, you can handle the crazy.

/or vice versa


water from Mineral Wells Texas is supposed to have trace amounts of Lithium in it, maybe they should drink some of that there crazy water
 
2012-08-25 04:10:32 PM  
But Jack Van Impe told me that the UN had thousands of troops hidden away in the Yucatan and
pre-positioned supplies and equipment here in the U.S. .
 
2012-08-25 04:11:02 PM  

Trucker: Can we please give that state back to Mexico.
We can even let Romney's family run it....they're already there.


Don't know if you've seen the news recently, but we have enough crazy as it is, and we might get our own version of Bush as a president.

Sell it to the Chinese instead.
 
2012-08-25 04:11:12 PM  

Trucker: Can we please give that state back to Mexico.We can even let Romney's family run it....they're already there.


you do realize the people you have a problem with would likely flee the state and head elsewhere
 
2012-08-25 04:11:24 PM  
Not even the U.N. wants Texas. They have enough stupid to deal with now.
 
2012-08-25 04:11:33 PM  
You didn't Yeehaw that! The last thread about this yokel had a link to the 33m Lubbock suckled from the stimulus teat, given to just one zip code in the area. This area likes the Obama administration plenty.
 
2012-08-25 04:13:44 PM  
I never though anything could be dumber than people saying Bush wouldn't step down from office at the end of his term. I was wrong.
 
2012-08-25 04:15:44 PM  
So when does fark get a "Texas" tag?
 
2012-08-25 04:17:05 PM  

SandMann: So when does fark get a "Texas" tag?


there are fewer texas submissions then there are florida submissions, so wait until gov hair crawls from out of the mansion and starts really running his mouth
 
2012-08-25 04:17:44 PM  

CygnusDarius: Arizona and Texas could very well be a nation on their own, with pockets of open resistance from the majority, fighting radiated yokels with plasma guns and power armor.


So Fallout 4 is going to be in Texas? I was hoping for Massachusetts.
 
2012-08-25 04:17:47 PM  

Vodka Zombie: I still don't get this irrational hatred and fear of the almost-comically powerless UN.

I know words are weapons, but seriously? How much damage can a strongly-worded letter actually do, and what's the half-life on a handful of angry adjectives to a people who can hardly even read?


Well you see, the U.N. is an evil, all-powerful organization bent on world domination, and simultaneously an ineffective group that can only send harshly-worded letters to dictators.

/Like how Obama is an empty suit who is shoving government down our throats.
 
2012-08-25 04:18:12 PM  

Mr. Shabooboo: But Jack Van Impe told me that the UN had thousands of troops hidden away in the Yucatan and
pre-positioned supplies and equipment here in the U.S. .


Never trust an imp, they're just as bad as goblins.
 
2012-08-25 04:18:37 PM  

rudemix: You didn't Yeehaw that! The last thread about this yokel had a link to the 33m Lubbock suckled from the stimulus teat, given to just one zip code in the area. This area likes the Obama administration plenty.


They like the money. I bet they're feeling smug they took it away from Obama before he could do something socialist with it.
 
2012-08-25 04:19:36 PM  

Generation_D: I always assumed "mess with" meant "don't mention anything negative or the perpetually butt-hurt prideful morons might get offended"

Seriously, Texas, you have issues.


I live here, you have no clue how true that is. Not enough lithium in the world to fix this place.
 
2012-08-25 04:22:03 PM  

MyPoolLeaks: Just remember, this is Lubbock. Most people in Texas refuse to even acknowledge that part of the state.


I actually refuse to acknowledge anything outside of San Antonio, Austin, and the Hill Country. The rest of this state can DIAF.

OK, I kinda like the Rio Grande Valley, too. But that's it.
 
2012-08-25 04:22:05 PM  
That judge should be more careful....They execute the retarded in Texas.
 
2012-08-25 04:22:06 PM  
Facts are limiting, but IGNORANCE IS LIMITLESS!

Okay so going full retard and playing the obama-fear card is the default action for republicans in hard right districts, what is the equivalent on the left?
 
2012-08-25 04:22:12 PM  

loonatic112358: St_Francis_P: Vodka Zombie: I still don't get this irrational hatred and fear of the almost-comically powerless UN.

I know words are weapons, but seriously? How much damage can a strongly-worded letter actually do, and what's the half-life on a handful of angry adjectives to a people who can hardly even read?

I have to suspect the judge was taking a cue from Sheriff Joe: stir up anti-Obama fever for fun and profit.

well, it is election time, and the judges down here do run for election for their position. So it's entirely possible this idiot was trying to make good with the nuttier of his constituents.

can't wait till election season is over, if i here how one more penny ante local politician running for office claims how he'll fight Obama, or work against washington, i may have to take up drinking


Same goes for Sheriff Joe. It sounds as though he's going to be reelected, again.
 
2012-08-25 04:22:38 PM  
Generation_D: I always assumed "mess with" meant "don't mention anything negative or the perpetually butt-hurt prideful morons might get offended"

Seriously, Texas, you have issues.


Speakign of being butt-hurt
 
2012-08-25 04:23:38 PM  
Why hasn't Austin seceded from Texas yet?
 
2012-08-25 04:24:20 PM  
Lubbock is literally a stinky shiathole.. The town has an awful smell to it. Nuke it, nothing of value would be lost, including Texas Tech.
 
2012-08-25 04:24:42 PM  

UseLessHuman: Facts are limiting, but IGNORANCE IS LIMITLESS!

Okay so going full retard and playing the obama-fear card is the default action for republicans in hard right districts, what is the equivalent on the left?


That someone will elect a Republican who will cut funding to stuff for poor people and then start wars with foreign countries and lose trillions of dollars. Totally crazy shiat.
 
2012-08-25 04:26:01 PM  
Also, what happened to Obama being the Antichrist? Is he waiting to unleash Hell 'til after the elections?
 
2012-08-25 04:26:31 PM  
Nobody needs to mess with Texas, it's messed up enough already.
 
2012-08-25 04:27:56 PM  

Generation_D: I always assumed "mess with" meant "don't mention anything negative or the perpetually butt-hurt prideful morons might get offended"

Seriously, Texas, you have issues.


On behal fof the Texan who hurt you,I apologize. I am sure you are special in your own way.
 
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