If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Wonkette)   Heroic blogger-patriot proposes Grand Unified Obama Conspiracy Theory tying seemingly every wingnut belief into one perfectly derptastic postulate on the origins of our dark matter president   (wonkette.com) divider line 61
    More: Amusing, Obama Conspiracy Theory, obama, Sunni Muslims, Jewish mother, Elizabethan, HAARP, blue pills, Trilateral Commission  
•       •       •

3224 clicks; posted to Politics » on 24 Aug 2012 at 8:24 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-08-24 05:41:42 PM  
www.christfellowshipindy.com 


"If you gaze long into the abyss long enough, the abyss will gaze back into you"
 
2012-08-24 06:35:16 PM  
The paranoid spokesman, sees the fate of conspiracy in apocalyptic terms - he traffics in the birth and death of whole worlds, whole political orders, whole systems of human values. He is always manning the barricades of civilization... he does not see social conflict as something to be mediated and compromised, in the manner of the working politician. Since what is at stake is always a conflict between absolute good and absolute evil, what is necessary is not compromise but the will to fight things out to a finish. Since the enemy is thought of as being totally evil and totally unappeasable, he must be totally eliminated - if not from the world, at least from the theatre of operations to which the paranoid directs his attention. This demand for total triumph leads to the formulation of hopelessly unrealistic goals, and since these goals are not even remotely attainable, failure constantly heightens the paranoid's sense of frustration. Even partial success leaves him with the same feeling of powerlessness with which he began, and this in turn only strengthens his awareness of the vast and terrifying quality of the enemy he opposes.

Richard Hofstadter, you prophet you.
 
2012-08-24 07:05:02 PM  
these women become baby factories for Islam because it's the religion of the father

There's so much derpgarrbl here to deal with I'm not sure why this part caught my eye. I don't think that's accurate.
 
2012-08-24 07:49:21 PM  

Hobodeluxe: "If you gaze long into the abyss long enough, the abyss will gaze back into you"


If I'm going to gaze into any goddamn abyss, it better have cookies.
 
2012-08-24 07:52:32 PM  
The Saudis are going to be piss when they find out that the Bilderbergs sold to the US to the Chinese.
 
2012-08-24 08:05:23 PM  
America has been having its leaders chosen, Democrat or Republican, chosen by the one world government, the Masons, the Illuminati, the Trilateral Commission, whatever you want to call these people, these are people who control the world.

What about the reverse vampires?
 
2012-08-24 08:17:01 PM  

Chariset: The paranoid spokesman, sees the fate of conspiracy in apocalyptic terms - he traffics in the birth and death of whole worlds, whole political orders, whole systems of human values. He is always manning the barricades of civilization... he does not see social conflict as something to be mediated and compromised, in the manner of the working politician. Since what is at stake is always a conflict between absolute good and absolute evil, what is necessary is not compromise but the will to fight things out to a finish. Since the enemy is thought of as being totally evil and totally unappeasable, he must be totally eliminated - if not from the world, at least from the theatre of operations to which the paranoid directs his attention. This demand for total triumph leads to the formulation of hopelessly unrealistic goals, and since these goals are not even remotely attainable, failure constantly heightens the paranoid's sense of frustration. Even partial success leaves him with the same feeling of powerlessness with which he began, and this in turn only strengthens his awareness of the vast and terrifying quality of the enemy he opposes.

Richard Hofstadter, you prophet you.


Stupendous. If the quote wasn't attributed, I think it could have been lifted directly from a modern Republican how-to guide.
 
2012-08-24 08:21:58 PM  
If you really want to paint Obama with a disgusting title unbecoming of a man serving as President of the United States, call him a Republican.

No need to make up slander.
 
2012-08-24 08:27:48 PM  
Looks like they forgot to mention Obama's Mars teleportation conspiracy.
 
2012-08-24 08:28:18 PM  
lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2012-08-24 08:30:20 PM  
cl.jroo.me
 
2012-08-24 08:34:19 PM  
We're all indebted to Gabby Johnson for clearly stating what needed to be said. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, but it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.
 
2012-08-24 08:40:14 PM  
What's his Fark handle?

/oblig
 
2012-08-24 08:41:37 PM  
Wow, this is even pissing off the FELLOW AMERICAN in here that I got Farkied as a right winger.

Not sayin' who now, just...sayin'.
 
2012-08-24 08:44:45 PM  
Still no explanation for how Obama gave birth to Hitler
 
2012-08-24 08:44:45 PM  
If we had a good mental health care system, this man might be helped, not mocked.
 
2012-08-24 08:46:09 PM  

Howie Spankowitz: Stupendous. If the quote wasn't attributed, I think it could have been lifted directly from a modern Republican how-to guide.


Do you know what's worse? He wrote that in the 1960s.

It's from his book of essays called The Paranoid Style in American Politics and I recommend it to anyone. The last few essays haven't aged well but the first three (excusing a few dating references) could have been written yesterday
 
2012-08-24 08:47:06 PM  
You have all those people who talk about the American debt being insolvable, where are you going to get $14 trillion from? The answer is very simple, you don't think the Saudis have $14 trillion in cash?

You think that desert is made of ground silicon? It's gold. Every last bit of it.
 
2012-08-24 08:48:01 PM  
Meh, the guy is pretty much a moderate in today's Republican party
 
2012-08-24 08:49:21 PM  
This is what conservatives actually believe.

These are the people that will be empowered if Romney gets your vote in November.

Remember that.
 
2012-08-24 08:51:32 PM  
photo.goodreads.com

May need to be updated.
 
2012-08-24 08:54:24 PM  
I can't accept this as a "unified" theory unless he can find a way to incorporate the Brony phenomenon and the popularity of dubstep music.
 
2012-08-24 08:55:20 PM  
download.lardlad.com
 
2012-08-24 09:01:18 PM  

fusillade762: these women become baby factories for Islam because it's the religion of the father

There's so much derpgarrbl here to deal with I'm not sure why this part caught my eye. I don't think that's accurate.


Yeah that part is a bit of a stretch. The rest though, is spot on.
 
2012-08-24 09:08:01 PM  
Wat? This is all too smart for me. Doesn't anyone have something stoopid to post? You gotta have a sense of humor. How about some darky jokes? Obama with a bone in his nose. Like really funny.
 
2012-08-24 09:17:59 PM  
DNRTFA but in a nut shell...

He was born...

lukeamerica2020.files.wordpress.com

He smoked weed

www.420magazine.com

He's a not-so-secret Muslim

fellowshipofminds.files.wordpress.com

Had sex with a camel - prove he didn't

pierretristam.com

got elected president

zairejungle.files.wordpress.com

and for all his super powers

thebsreport.files.wordpress.com

has been an utter failure

madisle.info
 
2012-08-24 09:20:26 PM  
www.independentamericanparty.org

HE TOOK MY JERB!
 
2012-08-24 09:21:14 PM  
Thank you. Never forget.
 
2012-08-24 09:32:36 PM  

fusillade762: these women become baby factories for Islam because it's the religion of the father

There's so much derpgarrbl here to deal with I'm not sure why this part caught my eye. I don't think that's accurate.


Muslim is obviously on the Y chromosome.
 
2012-08-24 09:33:04 PM  
2 long
 
2012-08-24 09:35:08 PM  
Also one last thought and them I'm outta here:

If, ultimately, it all comes down to the Illuminati controlling everything, every last move, the "take over" of Illuminati controlled America via Illuminati controlled Saudi Arabia, it just poses the question:

WHY THE fark WOULD YOU BOTHER?

Really. Really. If you're a shadowy conspiracy that's already assumed control of the whole freaking world...why bother DOING ANYTHING? You've already won! No one needs to take over ANYBODY! You're the worst conspiracy ever!
 
2012-08-24 09:47:49 PM  

Esc7: Also one last thought and them I'm outta here:

If, ultimately, it all comes down to the Illuminati controlling everything, every last move, the "take over" of Illuminati controlled America via Illuminati controlled Saudi Arabia, it just poses the question:

WHY THE fark WOULD YOU BOTHER?

Really. Really. If you're a shadowy conspiracy that's already assumed control of the whole freaking world...why bother DOING ANYTHING? You've already won! No one needs to take over ANYBODY! You're the worst conspiracy ever!


And, they must be realllllly bad at it. Since it's been a long time since THEY have taken over and nothing has happened.
 
2012-08-24 09:49:51 PM  
Avi Lipkin's wife overheard a late-night Saudi radio broadcast describing their plan to destroy the American economy by ordering Obama to put an end to discount sales at JCPenny
 
2012-08-24 09:57:54 PM  
If I could pick one thing I absolutely love that has come out of the complete insanity that is the right wing during the Obama administration, it would be the rise of the Heroic Blogger-Patriot.

They are textual gods amongst us, ferretting out non-existent secrets from the bastions of the inner workings of that crazy aunt we all feel obligated to invite to holiday parties, splicing it all together and showing us THE TRUTH as only they can see.
 
2012-08-24 10:24:16 PM  
The conspiracy goes even deeper. Drew Curtis is a reverse vampire and Fark.com Industries are owned by the Rothschilds. This whole website is just a front for the New World Order. Someday there'll be no freedoms left when the U.N and TotalFark troops roll into your town.
 
2012-08-24 10:29:09 PM  
The Grand Obama Unification Theory, eh?


GOUT?
 
2012-08-24 10:32:52 PM  
a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2012-08-24 10:37:38 PM  

Gyrfalcon: The Grand Obama Unification Theory, eh?


GOUT?


I think that's his ultimate plan given the decline of nutrition in the US. Then people can't come over to vote and he remains president for four more years.
 
2012-08-24 10:42:23 PM  

Ghastly: [a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net image 850x507]


God bless you for the wonderful work you are doing for humanity. Did you know that Romney wasn't referring to Obama? I'm so glad that's settled. You make a little joke.... Why are black people so sensitive?
 
2012-08-24 10:49:41 PM  
www.occupyforaccountability.org

Ghost of Breitbart smiles upon thee!
 
2012-08-25 12:02:35 AM  

SilentStrider: Hobodeluxe: "If you gaze long into the abyss long enough, the abyss will gaze back into you"

If I'm going to gaze into any goddamn abyss, it better have cookies titties.


FTFY
 
2012-08-25 12:30:07 AM  

WizardofToast: Gyrfalcon: The Grand Obama Unification Theory, eh?


GOUT?

I think that's his ultimate plan given the decline of nutrition in the US. Then people can't come over to vote and he remains president for four more years.


People with gout wouldn't be voting Obama anyway...
 
2012-08-25 12:58:46 AM  

Gyrfalcon: People with gout wouldn't be voting Obama anyway...


Oh, great. Now we'll have waves of Heroic-Blogger Patriots posting that they're going to "go gout."
 
2012-08-25 01:27:23 AM  

Gyrfalcon: WizardofToast: Gyrfalcon: The Grand Obama Unification Theory, eh?


GOUT?

I think that's his ultimate plan given the decline of nutrition in the US. Then people can't come over to vote and he remains president for four more years.

People with gout wouldn't be voting Obama anyway...

shiat, now I have to vote for Rmoney. Thank fsm I'm not white too....aw shiat NOW I have join the teahadist party.
 
2012-08-25 01:53:49 AM  
 
2012-08-25 02:02:57 AM  
A+++ WOULD DERP AGAIN
 
2012-08-25 02:03:41 AM  

SquiggelyGrounders: [www.independentamericanparty.org image 450x338]

HE TOOK MY JERB!


Getting a kick because he's being interviewed on Coast to Coast at this very minute.
 
2012-08-25 02:04:28 AM  

Katolu: Esc7: Also one last thought and them I'm outta here:

If, ultimately, it all comes down to the Illuminati controlling everything, every last move, the "take over" of Illuminati controlled America via Illuminati controlled Saudi Arabia, it just poses the question:

WHY THE fark WOULD YOU BOTHER?

Really. Really. If you're a shadowy conspiracy that's already assumed control of the whole freaking world...why bother DOING ANYTHING? You've already won! No one needs to take over ANYBODY! You're the worst conspiracy ever!

And, they must be realllllly bad at it. Since it's been a long time since THEY have taken over and nothing has happened.


Not true. They've been in contact with the Grays and the Sirians since Roswell, and brokered a deal preventing the US and Soviet Union from blowing the planet up, so that they could harvest the humans they wanted while simultaneously inducing gradual sterility in Earth's male population.
 
2012-08-25 02:20:46 AM  

Lost Thought 00: Still no explanation for how Obama gave birth to Hitler


You never heard of Obama's damned time machine? How do you think they placed those ads in the Honolulu Advertiser?
 
2012-08-25 03:19:20 AM  

Brick-House: DNRTFA but in a nut shell...

He was born...

[lukeamerica2020.files.wordpress.com image 442x363]

He smoked weed

[www.420magazine.com image 611x404]

He's a not-so-secret Muslim

[fellowshipofminds.files.wordpress.com image 215x386]

Had sex with a camel - prove he didn't

[pierretristam.com image 375x366]

got elected president

[zairejungle.files.wordpress.com image 463x421]

and for all his super powers

[thebsreport.files.wordpress.com image 400x600]

has been an utter failure

[madisle.info image 560x420]


Why you defy our love, Why?
 
Displayed 50 of 61 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report