So, uh, let's say you get stuck on #4...

Caution: Slideshow ahead

dletter: FishyFred: [i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

So, uh, let's say you get stuck on #4...

Isn't that just the "as safe as possible" version of this....

[static.neatorama.com image 500x333]

Ah, yes. I remember Action Park.

I want to ride this one:

WhippingBoy: The best water slides are the ones where you sit at the bottom and watch the force of the water blow off women's tops and jam their bottoms "up there".

That's pretty much all of them. I sadly know this from experience.
Waterslides and bikinis just don't mix.

LittleMissStubborn: WhippingBoy: The best water slides are the ones where you sit at the bottom and watch the force of the water blow off women's tops and jam their bottoms "up there".

That's pretty much all of them. I sadly know this from experience.
Waterslides and bikinis just don't mix.

You're a liar. Yes they do. They mix perfectly well. Ladies, if you have second thoughts about wearing a bikini to a water park, don't sweat it. It's perfectly safe and acceptable. You can trust me...really.

MoronLessOff: LittleMissStubborn: WhippingBoy: The best water slides are the ones where you sit at the bottom and watch the force of the water blow off women's tops and jam their bottoms "up there".

That's pretty much all of them. I sadly know this from experience.
Waterslides and bikinis just don't mix.

You're a liar. Yes they do. They mix perfectly well. Ladies, if you have second thoughts about wearing a bikini to a water park, don't sweat it. It's perfectly safe and acceptable. You can trust me...really.

Katy Perry disagrees....

MoronLessOff: LittleMissStubborn: WhippingBoy: The best water slides are the ones where you sit at the bottom and watch the force of the water blow off women's tops and jam their bottoms "up there".

That's pretty much all of them. I sadly know this from experience.
Waterslides and bikinis just don't mix.

You're a liar. Yes they do. They mix perfectly well. Ladies, if you have second thoughts about wearing a bikini to a water park, don't sweat it. It's perfectly safe and acceptable. You can trust me...really.

especially if you look as hot as Littlemissstuborn.

dletter: static.neatorama.com

Well took care of that quickly.

Fun in Ohio. People don't say that often.

At first glance, I thought the Aztec "Leap of Faith" slide launches you over a pool of sharks. THAT would be cool.

FishyFred
So, uh, let's say you get stuck on #4...

The pipe part in the middle, at the lowest point of that bend, looks less blue and more transparent than the others. So you can at least be assured that people will be able to point and laugh at you should you get stuck.

Best slide ever. None of that troublesome moistness you get with other water slides.

kvinesknows: MoronLessOff: LittleMissStubborn: WhippingBoy: The best water slides are the ones where you sit at the bottom and watch the force of the water blow off women's tops and jam their bottoms "up there".

That's pretty much all of them. I sadly know this from experience.
Waterslides and bikinis just don't mix.

You're a liar. Yes they do. They mix perfectly well. Ladies, if you have second thoughts about wearing a bikini to a water park, don't sweat it. It's perfectly safe and acceptable. You can trust me...really.

especially if you look as hot as Littlemissstuborn.

Thanks!
Don't get me wrong. I love waterslides. I'm just shy.

kvinesknows: MoronLessOff: LittleMissStubborn: WhippingBoy: The best water slides are the ones where you sit at the bottom and watch the force of the water blow off women's tops and jam their bottoms "up there".

That's pretty much all of them. I sadly know this from experience.
Waterslides and bikinis just don't mix.

You're a liar. Yes they do. They mix perfectly well. Ladies, if you have second thoughts about wearing a bikini to a water park, don't sweat it. It's perfectly safe and acceptable. You can trust me...really.

especially if you look as hot as Littlemissstuborn.

That last part, you nailed it.

dletter
Isn't that just the "as safe as possible" version of this....

That actually looks possibly safer (if you define safer as "possibly easier tog get people out") because the lowest part is on the ground. Should be no problem to have a hatch there to get people out.

FishyFred: [i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

So, uh, let's say you get stuck on #4...

miss diminutive: [www.fyrebo.se image 640x980] 

Approves

/merde, merde, merde, merde, merde....

I've been to the water park from the movie

since the air and most of the water in China is severely polluted, I have they have some sort of filtration system for those slides.

dletter: FishyFred: [i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

So, uh, let's say you get stuck on #4...

Isn't that just the "as safe as possible" version of this....

[static.neatorama.com image 500x333]

is that Traction Park?

FTFA, Slide 6... "Brazil's 135-foot attraction Insano plunges at a speed of 65 mph, taking riders from start to heart-pounding finish in less than five seconds."

Jesus christ... 65 mph. I'd imagine that you hit the bottom of that slide with such force that your asshole pops open like a farking parachute on a funnycar and you end up with enough pool water pumping into your GI that it's shooting out your nose by the time you come to a stop.

moike: FTFA, Slide 6... "Brazil's 135-foot attraction Insano plunges at a speed of 65 mph, taking riders from start to heart-pounding finish in less than five seconds."

Jesus christ... 65 mph. I'd imagine that you hit the bottom of that slide with such force that your asshole pops open like a farking parachute on a funnycar and you end up with enough pool water pumping into your GI that it's shooting out your nose by the time you come to a stop.

I saw this slide on TV and surprisingly, the people survived it with no problems. I would not have believed it if I had not seen it.

FishyFred: [i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

So, uh, let's say you get stuck on #4...

Here is a video of it

The Schlitterbahn vill half you schlitting your lederhosen Mach schnell. As they say it's a case of Farfrumpoopin' baby.

dletter: FishyFred: [i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

So, uh, let's say you get stuck on #4...

Isn't that just the "as safe as possible" version of this....

[static.neatorama.com image 500x333]

As cool as all of those slides look, I think the list actually fails without this one if they are considered "craziest", because that one was absolutely batshiat crazy.

MoronLessOff: You're a liar. Yes they do. They mix perfectly well. Ladies, if you have second thoughts about wearing a bikini to a water park, don't sweat it. It's perfectly safe and acceptable. You can trust me...really.

Maybe they're just worried about really losing them. I hear those things are expensive. Maybe you could volunteer to hold onto them at the bottom for the nice ladies? It's like a Boy Scout helping a little old lady across the street; your civic duty and all that...

Standing around 30-40 minutes for a 5 second ride. Sounds like Viagra.
cue rimshot

WhippingBoy: jst3p: MoronLessOff: LittleMissStubborn: WhippingBoy: The best water slides are the ones where you sit at the bottom and watch the force of the water blow off women's tops and jam their bottoms "up there".

That's pretty much all of them. I sadly know this from experience.
Waterslides and bikinis just don't mix.

You're a liar. Yes they do. They mix perfectly well. Ladies, if you have second thoughts about wearing a bikini to a water park, don't sweat it. It's perfectly safe and acceptable. You can trust me...really.

Katy Perry disagrees....

[downloads.thedaily.com image 662x834]

Is she taking a dump in that picture???

There's a better angle on a GIS, where she isn't standing like that, and you get to see that she has a rather nice ass...

The Voice of Doom: dletter
Isn't that just the "as safe as possible" version of this....

That actually looks possibly safer (if you define safer as "possibly easier tog get people out") because the lowest part is on the ground. Should be no problem to have a hatch there to get people out.

Hopefully this will disabuse you of that notion. First time someone posted it, I spent the rest of the day reading up on that slide and "Action Park", NOTHING was "safe" there.

From the link: "I was one of the idiots that accepted you-know-who's crisp $100 bill to test run it. That was my last ride. $100 did not buy enough booze to drown out that memory."

moike: FTFA, Slide 6... "Brazil's 135-foot attraction Insano plunges at a speed of 65 mph, taking riders from start to heart-pounding finish in less than five seconds."

Jesus christ... 65 mph. I'd imagine that you hit the bottom of that slide with such force that your asshole pops open like a farking parachute on a funnycar and you end up with enough pool water pumping into your GI that it's shooting out your nose by the time you come to a stop.

Man, it ws nowhere near this high, but they had one of these in Phoenix, and when they first put it in, you could pull on the bar where you held on and launch yourself. You would go out over the edge and drop 20 feet or so before coming in contact with the actual slide(It 'may' have actually been more straight vertical). Sadly, the next time I went, a year or two later, they didn't let you do that anymore, but holy Fark was it awesome. I wouldn't do that for a million bucks now though.

robbiex0r: Deslided!

Thanks for that!

/Also, lol from the coder's notes below:

didn't delete enough code yesterday, three cheers for infinite recursion: Hooray!Hooray!Hooray!Hooray!Hooray..
fixed broken support for newsarama
added support for dallasobserver.com
added mapping for collegecandy.com
replaced the thumbnails at toofab.com with the slideshow-sized images if we have links for the originals
2012-08-18
Shuffled around and deleted tons of code. Since testing code is only for pussies and people who make mistakes, no tests were done. So write an email if something doesn't work. Which obviously won't be necessary. Well, probably. How does one make branches in SVN again?

I dig slides - and chics dig seein' me in my trunks! ("Do you lift weights?") LMAO

I didn't even need to read the headline to know it was in China. China... the new Texas.... where everything is bigger... (going to omit any type of reference to size of stature).

Also... I don't see water slides every day so this is the coolest water slide I've seen in months!

thisisyourbrainonFark: FishyFred: [i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

So, uh, let's say you get stuck on #4...

[i272.photobucket.com image 427x249]

Dammit, I spent 20 minutes looking for that picture the other day.

RussianPooper: Isn't there supposed to be water involved with water rides? (Number 7)

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

It looks like it's a roller coaster that occasionally crashes into water bits.

/They had one in Roller Coaster Tycoon. I hated building them because every time you hit water, it would stop, and you'd have to build another farking chainlift.

Isn't this ride in, like, every other water park on the planet?