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(Yahoo)   Thai Buddhist temple claims that the late Steve Jobs is now living in a "parallel universe" as a "mid-level angel." No idea how he gets those turtlenecks on over his wings   (finance.yahoo.com) divider line 121
    More: Obvious, Buddhist Temple, Thai Buddhist, universe, Thai, Buddhists, Bangkok Post, yaks, synagogues  
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2807 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Aug 2012 at 3:53 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-24 03:54:37 PM
What does one have to do to become an "upper-level angel"?
 
2012-08-24 03:55:08 PM
No idea how he gets those turtlenecks on over his wings

He doesn't. The turtleneck is soldered onto him.
 
2012-08-24 03:55:30 PM
I was a mid-level angel in a parallel universe once. Then I filled out the wrong forms and ended up here. Supernatural paperwork is a real biatch.
 
2012-08-24 03:56:06 PM
It's not that hard when you only have one wing
 
2012-08-24 03:56:23 PM
No. He's dead "underground" as "high grade worm food".

Silly comic book character culture.
 
2012-08-24 03:56:34 PM
Removable iWings
 
2012-08-24 03:56:38 PM
Does he battle high level Scientologists now?
 
2012-08-24 03:57:42 PM
Steve Jobs, celestial middle manager.
 
TWX
2012-08-24 03:57:48 PM

Impasse: No idea how he gets those turtlenecks on over his wings

He doesn't. The turtleneck is soldered onto him.


Looks more like a brazing process to me... No excess material visible, and I don't think that soldering would be strong enough, given the operating temperatures of many of the products that Apple produced...
 
2012-08-24 03:59:45 PM

FunkOut: I was a mid-level angel in a parallel universe once. Then I filled out the wrong forms and ended up here. Supernatural paperwork is a real biatch.


Don't worry, they usually get things straightened out in 2 or 3 lifecycles.
 
2012-08-24 03:59:56 PM
So he's got that going for him, which is nice.
 
2012-08-24 04:00:21 PM

socodog: No. He's dead "underground" as "high grade worm food".

Silly comic book character culture.


Why the quotations? Is not really dead underground as high grade worm food? What do you "know" that we don't know?
 
2012-08-24 04:00:36 PM
Is this the same as AS2 (Angel Second Class)?
 
2012-08-24 04:01:29 PM
Buddhism: Hinduism's Scientology.

//Just pointing that out for anyone under the mistaken impression that it's ever been considered remotely credible by anyone that's not a crystal-gazer.
 
2012-08-24 04:01:50 PM
Assuming that these fantasy lands did exist, I'd say that it's more likely that Jobs is sharing a room in hell with Leona Helmsley.
 
2012-08-24 04:02:07 PM
Either these people are sadly misinformed or bad Buddhists.

Karma, how does it work?
 
2012-08-24 04:02:23 PM

Jim_Callahan: Buddhism: Hinduism's Scientology.

//Just pointing that out for anyone under the mistaken impression that it's ever been considered remotely credible by anyone that's not a crystal-gazer.


Hinduism: The Indus River Culture's Scientology.

/yeah I went there
 
2012-08-24 04:06:32 PM

Old Smokie: Either these people are sadly misinformed or bad Buddhists.

Karma, how does it work?


Localised versions of religions add in all kinds of folk beliefs. There are some very strange variations out there. Norwegian Christians terrified of elves in the local hillside for example.
 
2012-08-24 04:06:55 PM
I have it on the utmost authority that Steve Jobs plays naked leapfrog with Andrew Brietbart and the Kaiser in the Seventh level of Hell.

www.deutsches-reich.info

The Kaiser wears this hat. Brietbart snorts ground glass and Steve Jobs eats dead Chinese factory bowel movements that have been soaked in battery acid.
 
Pav
2012-08-24 04:07:20 PM
Grats Steve!
 
2012-08-24 04:07:39 PM
When the hell did Thai buddhists start believing in angels?
 
2012-08-24 04:07:43 PM

Plant Rights Activist: It's not that hard when you only have one wing


art-of-fantasy.org
/agrees.
//Watch the fark out, Steve has hit his final form.
 
2012-08-24 04:09:20 PM

Gyrfalcon: What does one have to do to become an "upper-level angel"?


Pretty much the same thing, except you treat your workers better.
 
2012-08-24 04:12:07 PM
Sounds like they're jonesing for an Apple factory in Thailand....

/they want money
//that's what they want
 
2012-08-24 04:16:27 PM

socodog: No. He's dead "underground" as "high grade worm food".

Silly comic book character culture.


Now, if this truly were a comic book character culture, they would predict Steve Jobs' inexplicable return from the dead within a few months.
 
2012-08-24 04:18:36 PM
Phrathepyanmahamuni

Say that fast one time. Go ahead. I dare ya.
 
2012-08-24 04:20:16 PM

saturn badger: Phrathepyanmahamuni

Say that fast one time. Go ahead. I dare ya.


I'm not sure I could say it one time at any speed.
 
2012-08-24 04:20:27 PM

saturn badger: Phrathepyanmahamuni

Say that fast one time. Go ahead. I dare ya.


I'm still struggling to say it once, slowly.
 
2012-08-24 04:21:03 PM

Noticeably F.A.T.: saturn badger: Phrathepyanmahamuni

Say that fast one time. Go ahead. I dare ya.

I'm not sure I could say it one time at any speed.


Great minds and all that
 
2012-08-24 04:21:45 PM
Since Apple's stock is at an all time high, I'm sticking with my theory that Jobs is dead for tax purposes only.
 
2012-08-24 04:21:51 PM
He's only half a Yak. Which half?
 
2012-08-24 04:22:58 PM
Sounds like a translation error. If you read the original statement in Thai, it says 'mid-level asshole'.
 
2012-08-24 04:23:02 PM
Didn't anyone tell them that Jobs was a level five laser lotus? When a level five's body stops functioning, it's vaporized in the temple of renewal and stored in an energon pod. In a few years, when our technology advances, they'll extract his body vapors and recondense it into a solid state.
 
2012-08-24 04:23:31 PM
In the unlikely event of an afterlife, I doubt he's being rewarded.

That asshole came away from Reed with all the wrong lessons.
 
2012-08-24 04:24:16 PM

Jim_Callahan: Buddhism: Hinduism's Scientology.

//Just pointing that out for anyone under the mistaken impression that it's ever been considered remotely credible by anyone that's not a crystal-gazer.


I went to the web site. No kidding.
 
2012-08-24 04:25:47 PM
An angel.... people should read his biography before calling him an angel.... or use any apple product...
 
2012-08-24 04:27:47 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

Mid-level laser lotus is harder achievement to unlock.
 
2012-08-24 04:28:48 PM

Fluid: socodog: No. He's dead "underground" as "high grade worm food".

Silly comic book character culture.

Now, if this truly were a comic book character culture, they would predict Steve Jobs' inexplicable return from the dead within a few months.


Only this time he's black. And gay. And a woman. And a cyborg.
 
2012-08-24 04:29:06 PM

ComicBookGuy: In the unlikely event of an afterlife, I doubt he's being rewarded.

That asshole came away from Reed with all the wrong lessons.


He was a secretly awesome person. About 10 years ago when some friends of mine were researching computers to help their autistic son. They got a call from "Some guy that works for Apple named Steve Jobs" and he sent them a free Mac. He wasn't a pure douchebag.
 
2012-08-24 04:31:10 PM

Noticeably F.A.T.: saturn badger: Phrathepyanmahamuni

Say that fast one time. Go ahead. I dare ya.

I'm not sure I could say it one time at any speed.


If you say it loud enough, you'll always sound precocious!
 
2012-08-24 04:31:56 PM
They're almost right, he has transcended his human body to become worm chow. He is truly at one with nature and will no longer feel pain. Or anything. Because he is meat. He is made of meat.
 
2012-08-24 04:33:25 PM
The turtleneck was sown together around the wings and can't be removed. It looks very nice but feels cheap and is eaisaly ripable.Steve said to be thinking of having the black one cut off and a white one made to replace it "soon".
 
MHZ
2012-08-24 04:33:37 PM
Came for a D&D reference, leaving unsatisfied.
 
2012-08-24 04:34:46 PM
In Judaeo-Christian mythology, Lucifer is also an angel.

Not exactly a ringing endorsement.
 
2012-08-24 04:38:35 PM

Caelistis: In Judaeo-Christian mythology, Lucifer is also an angel.

Not exactly a ringing endorsement.


you wanna go hit terrorist tase and close for the bit?

was it a heavy heaveh burtation
was it a daris darrison
bye
 
2012-08-24 04:40:49 PM
Not impressed.

encrypted-tbn0.google.com
 
2012-08-24 04:44:02 PM
Did ya know that there's actually a Buddhist version of the Prosperity Gospel?

It's true. It leads to rich people spending millions on things like this in a very impoverished country:

i47.tinypic.com

Welcome to "Budda Park, Kathmandu." I kid you not, there's a sign calling it that, and yes, that is real gold.

Scientology has it's Sea Org, Catholicism has it's Vatican, there are any number of Crystal Cathedral megachurches for the Protestants and tabernacles for the Mormons.

It's almost as if there was some opportunity for people to abuse systems like that.
 
2012-08-24 04:45:22 PM
Subby:

slacktory.com
 
2012-08-24 04:48:53 PM

mongbiohazard: Didn't anyone tell them that Jobs was a level five laser lotus? When a level five's body stops functioning, it's vaporized in the temple of renewal and stored in an energon pod. In a few years, when our technology advances, they'll extract his body vapors and recondense it into a solid state.


Can't Apple do that themselves? I have it on good authority that they're already 100% solid-state!
 
2012-08-24 04:49:04 PM

Gyrfalcon: What does one have to do to become an "upper-level angel"?


Blow job.

// guessing
 
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