Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Chicago Trib)   Is your co-worker married? A little detective work is all it takes, says creepiest advice columnist ever   (chicagotribune.com ) divider line
    More: Silly, Miss Manners  
•       •       •

12837 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Aug 2012 at 10:39 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



118 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2012-08-24 09:57:53 AM  
Miss Manners is *not* creepy. In a single advice column are gems such as:

Dear Miss Manners: What do you say to a niece who just had a baby? She is 17 years old and unwed.

If, as Miss Manners suspects, you were thinking of some version of "This is not a good idea," your timing is bad.

Dear Miss Manners: I really do not like the choice my son made in picking a wife. Do I have to like her, and how can I be pleasant without being a hypocrite?

Gentle reader: You do hypocrisy an injustice. Compared to antagonizing your prospective daughter-in-law, it is a virtue.
 
2012-08-24 10:00:58 AM  
In response to the inquiry in the headline, the answer should have been "Leave it alone, she's your co-worker...stop trying to find out about her personal life unless she tells you about it."
 
2012-08-24 10:17:46 AM  
I just sleep with them and then while they're asleep I rummage through their papers looking for a marriage certificate and/or wedding photo album. It's really the most non-intrusive way of finding out for sure.

/if only they wore some kind of identifying jewelry or accessory
//would streamline the whole process
 
2012-08-24 10:39:03 AM  

miss diminutive: I just sleep with them and then while they're asleep I rummage through their papers looking for a marriage certificate and/or wedding photo album. It's really the most non-intrusive way of finding out for sure.

/if only they wore some kind of identifying jewelry or accessory
//would streamline the whole process


If you RTFA you would see that your slashies were covered. As for the main body of the comment, can I just fark them instead? My wife would get suspicious if I was spending the night elsewhere without a good reason.
 
2012-08-24 10:42:02 AM  
Or you could just ask them.

But no, being direct is bad for your image.
 
2012-08-24 10:42:18 AM  
Just a few questions? One should be enough.

Say, if you woke up in my basement, who would come looking for you.

or

I was under your porch last night and heard a man's voice. Does he mean anything to you?
 
2012-08-24 10:42:33 AM  
Couldn't you just, uh, check for a ring?

/drfa
 
2012-08-24 10:46:10 AM  
"Is your coworker married?"

If they don't tell me then I don't care.
 
2012-08-24 10:47:29 AM  
Dear Fark:

I have an attractive coworker who I would like to get to know better but I don't know if she is married.

Richard

Dear Dick,

Fark recommends a wait and see approach. Without her knowing follow her every where and wait and see if there is a man in her life. We recommend being discrete so dress differently than you do at work, try wearing a diaper and covering yourself from head to toe in petroleum jelly this way if she does see something she won't recognize that it is you.
 
2012-08-24 10:47:47 AM  

jiggitysmith: Couldn't you just, uh, check for a ring?

/drfa


He said she doesn't wear a ring, but for some unexplained reason, he's still not sure of her status.
 
2012-08-24 10:48:12 AM  
most jobs i had came filled with old biddies who could not mind their own business and wanted to know all about mine. there is an incredible amount of old crows with ugly daughters and nieces they are trying to unload on some poor bastard. one more reason many women are a poor fit in the workplace.
 
2012-08-24 10:48:55 AM  

jiggitysmith: Couldn't you just, uh, check for a ring?

/drfa


That was covered in the article - she doesn't wear one. Here's a concept Gentle Reader. Grab your balls, man up and ask her out. Good god.
 
2012-08-24 10:48:59 AM  

jiggitysmith: Couldn't you just, uh, check for a ring?

/drfa


The guy points out that she might not be wearing a ring. My wife doesn't wear hers because it's too big and keeps sliding off.
 
2012-08-24 10:50:09 AM  
I don't know her very well and she works in a different area

Gee, what a shame it would be if you were nice to someone and got to know them only to find out that they won't touch your genitals.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-08-24 10:50:28 AM  
Do Chinese women not wear wedding rings? I mean women from China, not of Chinese descent in general. The Chinese women at work are all married but ringless.
 
2012-08-24 10:51:54 AM  

offmymeds: My wife doesn't wear hers because it's too big and keeps sliding off.


At least that's the reason she gives you.
 
2012-08-24 10:52:42 AM  
The original letter writer is just dumb and clueless as to the social dynamics of women. There is no way a married woman would fail to wear a wedding ring because not wearing one would deprive her of the opportunity to be a Smug Married Woman and look down her nose at the unattached women in her workplace who have "not yet managed to land a husband."

/Unmarried.
//Tired of smug married women.
///Admits she has issues.
////SIgh.
 
2012-08-24 10:52:53 AM  
If she's not wearing a ring, it doesn't matter. Ask her out. She's either single or looking to cheat.
 
2012-08-24 10:53:23 AM  
Seriously, single women will let it be known they are single if they are interested in you (Her: How was your weekend, Harry? My boyfriend and I just broke up and I really need a rebound bang. Nothing serious. Just gotta nail something before he does, you know? Me: So what I'm hearing is that you didn't have time to review that code I wrote Friday.).

Married will flirt but most of them will drop the schtick if it starts getting messy (Oh Harry. You're so strong and muscular. My husband is weak. But he owns a lot of guns and knows how to use 'em. Says he could bring down an AS400 programmer at 500 meters with one shot).
 
2012-08-24 10:55:00 AM  

farkityfarker: offmymeds: My wife doesn't wear hers because it's too big and keeps sliding off.

At least that's the reason she gives you.


Yeah, you know I do get a lot of hang-up phone calls.
;)
 
2012-08-24 10:55:44 AM  
Just because there's a goalie, doesn't mean you can't score.
 
2012-08-24 10:57:36 AM  
Gentle reader: Mind your own business and get back to work.
 
2012-08-24 10:58:09 AM  

bangmaid: Just because there's a goalie, doesn't mean you can't score.


cdn.joelrunyon.com

GOOOOAAAALLLL!!!!!
 
2012-08-24 10:58:50 AM  
WTF? What on earth is wrong with just asking her if she is married, while having a casual conversation?
 
2012-08-24 10:59:12 AM  
I thought you were just supposed to ask "Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
 
2012-08-24 10:59:13 AM  
I've found that an Unexpected Penis on the Shoulder is a very good way to tell if a woman is interested in you.
 
2012-08-24 11:01:15 AM  

JackieRabbit: WTF? What on earth is wrong with just asking her if she is married, while having a casual conversation?


Because if she's not interested in him, asking a simple question like that will get him labelled as the "office creep" who's "sexually harassing" her.
 
2012-08-24 11:01:51 AM  
I love Judith Martin. I read her column every morning.

That is all.
 
2012-08-24 11:03:28 AM  
That was the most awesome advice column I've ever read. No snark.
 
2012-08-24 11:03:42 AM  
The one about the pregnant niece is just classic.
 
2012-08-24 11:03:50 AM  
farm4.static.flickr.com
 
2012-08-24 11:06:23 AM  

WhippingBoy: JackieRabbit: WTF? What on earth is wrong with just asking her if she is married, while having a casual conversation?

Because if she's not interested in him, asking a simple question like that will get him labelled as the "office creep" who's "sexually harassing" her.


Only if he's not a stud.
 
2012-08-24 11:06:37 AM  
Just say "Good morning Mrs. so-and-so." If she's single and she wants you to know that, she'll say "it's miss, actually" or something to that effect. If she doesn't say that, then either she's not single or she's not interested, so let it go.

But if she's a cow-orker, let it go anyway because that's never a good idea. Do not date people from work.
 
2012-08-24 11:07:22 AM  

farkityfarker: WhippingBoy: JackieRabbit: WTF? What on earth is wrong with just asking her if she is married, while having a casual conversation?

Because if she's not interested in him, asking a simple question like that will get him labelled as the "office creep" who's "sexually harassing" her.

Only if he's not a stud.


Yes, of course.
 
2012-08-24 11:07:23 AM  
I just love Miss Manners. She gets a little snarky for snarkiness' sake sometimes but she's always a class act.

http://www.amazon.com/Manners-Excruciatingly-Correct-Behavior-Freshly / dp/0393058743

I have a copy of this and it's a freaking hilarious read as well as educational for impressing the inlaws.
 
2012-08-24 11:07:27 AM  

Three-Fifty: The original letter writer is just dumb and clueless as to the social dynamics of women. There is no way a married woman would fail to wear a wedding ring because not wearing one would deprive her of the opportunity to be a Smug Married Woman and look down her nose at the unattached women in her workplace who have "not yet managed to land a husband."

/Unmarried.
//Tired of smug married women.
///Admits she has issues.
////SIgh.


Is it because your Fark handle is also your weight?

/I keed
 
2012-08-24 11:08:52 AM  

FloydA: But if she's a cow-orker, let it go...


Indeed.
 
2012-08-24 11:09:10 AM  

farkityfarker: offmymeds: My wife doesn't wear hers because it's too big and keeps sliding off.

At least that's the reason she gives you.


Seriously. I don't know a jewelery place that won't resize a ring for free with purchase.
 
2012-08-24 11:11:02 AM  
steklo

Wow. I forgot that Brenda had an IBM PS/2 Model 70.
 
2012-08-24 11:11:04 AM  

ZAZ: Do Chinese women not wear wedding rings? I mean women from China, not of Chinese descent in general. The Chinese women at work are all married but ringless.


Not traditionally, but it's becoming more common.
 
2012-08-24 11:11:20 AM  

farkityfarker: jiggitysmith: Couldn't you just, uh, check for a ring?

/drfa

He said she doesn't wear a ring, but for some unexplained reason, he's still not sure of her status.


News flash. Not all married women wear wedding rings.
 
2012-08-24 11:12:15 AM  

grinding_journalist: farkityfarker: offmymeds: My wife doesn't wear hers because it's too big and keeps sliding off.

At least that's the reason she gives you.

Seriously. I don't know a jewelery place that won't resize a ring for free with purchase.


It fit just fine when we were married...28 years ago. Since then she's lost a few pounds here and there. Seriously.
 
2012-08-24 11:13:19 AM  
I just assume every women I ever see is married. Makes life a whole lot easier.
 
2012-08-24 11:16:09 AM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: I just assume every women I ever see is married. Makes life a whole lot easier.


4.bp.blogspot.com

Agrees.
 
2012-08-24 11:18:27 AM  
just ask her telepathically??
 
2012-08-24 11:20:16 AM  
farkityfarker: "but for some unexplained reason, he's still not sure of her status."

The unexplained reason is implicit. Man 101 is: if you want to ask her out and she's not wearing a ring, you ask her out. If she has a significant other, it's not a big deal. The only time being turned down is a big deal, is if you're the kind of pussy-on-a-pedestal guy who's already invested a huge emotional attachment into someone you literally do not know the first thing about.
That kind of guy isn't sure about *anything*. If she'd been wearing a ring, he'd just be writing to Miss Manners about whether or not he can be sure she's happy in her marriage and whether it's appropriate to encourage her to spread her wings and blah blah blah.
 
2012-08-24 11:20:52 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: steklo

Wow. I forgot that Brenda had an IBM PS/2 Model 70.


What? Didn't you notice the old AT&T touch-tone phone?
 
2012-08-24 11:21:21 AM  
Am I the only person who found nothing wrong with the question or the answer here? It's not like she told him to stalk her or go through her garbage or anything, which is what I was expecting from the headline....
 
2012-08-24 11:23:23 AM  
Just. ASK!

Christ.... as long as you are not in a position of power over the person or interviewing them, you can just come out and ask it.

I could see a paranoid type asking the question and then wondering if they will get in trouble because now they can be accused of discrimination based on marital status.
 
2012-08-24 11:24:46 AM  

offmymeds: jiggitysmith: Couldn't you just, uh, check for a ring?

/drfa

The guy points out that she might not be wearing a ring. My wife doesn't wear hers because it's too big and keeps sliding off.


So you have one of the rare wives who lost weight after the wedding? Congrats, bro!
 
Displayed 50 of 118 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter








In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report