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(Sports Illustrated) NewsFlash Lance Armstrong's time in France rubs off as he surrenders to U.S. Anti-Doping Agency, loses Tour titles   (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) divider line 524
    More: NewsFlash, United States Anti-Doping Agency, United States, International Cycling Union, Floyd Landis, U.S. Agent, Tour de France, blood doping, EPO  
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4113 clicks; posted to Sports » on 23 Aug 2012 at 11:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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2012-08-23 11:26:31 PM
He rode a bike fast.

cache.jezebel.com
 
2012-08-23 11:26:34 PM

carmi990: His training was literally hell on wheels.


I literally died when I read that...
 
2012-08-23 11:26:42 PM
I personally think all doping should be allowed. If you devote your life to training that hard, get to your full potential and then discover you could EVEN BE BETTER with just a little help from a syringe or two, the temptation must be worse than crack. But then all our baseball players wouldn't have necks anymore, I guess.
 
2012-08-23 11:27:26 PM
Has anyone seen Robin Williams? He might be on suicide watch.
 
2012-08-23 11:27:40 PM
I feel better about my decision to make Stephen Colbert's "WristStrong" bracelets my bracelet of choice.
 
2012-08-23 11:28:02 PM

CommieTaoist: I don't really care but there still has been no clear evidence that he doped, the only thing they have is Landis who is hardly an impartial witness..


no, they have a lot more witnesses than just Landis. Tyler Hamilton gave a scathing interview on 60 minutes. They also have several other witnesses who came forward as well.
 
2012-08-23 11:28:09 PM
What evidence do they have to prove he doped?
 
2012-08-23 11:29:18 PM
Lance Armstrong cheated?!? I'm so hurt by this. How dare he cheat the system, become famous, and then raise a shiat load of money to fight cancer. Cancer deserved a fair fight. Shame on you Lance...SHAME ON YOU!!!
 
2012-08-23 11:29:25 PM

I_Hate_Iowa: How was he the only one who wasn't caught? He was the most-tested athlete in the world for a while. Why are they suddenly railroading him with witness testimony instead of blood? Don't they hold onto samples like the Olympics' anti-dopers? If they have witnesses that can say what exactly he was using, then they should be able to test for exactly that.


I assume you know that all those confirmed dopers passed many test themselves, right? And they have lance's old samples. Lance is trying to make sure you don't hear the expert testimony that those samples are consistent with doing. But mostly I think, and this is conjecture, he doesn't want you to hear Georges testimony. He's thrown everyone else under the bus already but George won't lie and lance knows it.
 
2012-08-23 11:30:02 PM

Darth Hater: Lance Armstrong cheated?!? I'm so hurt by this. How dare he cheat the system, become famous, and then raise a shiat load of money to fight cancer. Cancer deserved a fair fight. Shame on you Lance...SHAME ON YOU!!!


Yes, it's totally ok to cheat, as long as you raise money for cancer!
 
2012-08-23 11:31:19 PM
Innocent until PROVEN guilty.

He's moving on. The titles don't compare to what he's doing. The USADA is doped up more than he ever was -- until there's proof to the contrary.
 
2012-08-23 11:31:22 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Darth Hater: Lance Armstrong cheated?!? I'm so hurt by this. How dare he cheat the system, become famous, and then raise a shiat load of money to fight cancer. Cancer deserved a fair fight. Shame on you Lance...SHAME ON YOU!!!

Yes, it's totally ok to cheat, as long as you raise money for cancer!


That's why enroll all my mistresses in Walk for the Cure races.
 
2012-08-23 11:32:00 PM

Darth Hater: Lance Armstrong cheated?!? I'm so hurt by this. How dare he cheat the system, become famous, and then raise a shiat load of money to fight cancer. Cancer deserved a fair fight. Shame on you Lance...SHAME ON YOU!!!


I'm sure that's why he cheated - to raise money for cancer research. Had nothing to do with, you know, winning the damn bike race.
 
2012-08-23 11:32:43 PM
2 scenarios: he's the best because he won clean in a sport full of dopers, or he's the best because he doped to win in a sport full of dopers. Either way, he's still the best. Suck it, haters.
 
2012-08-23 11:32:47 PM

WTF Indeed: cameroncrazy1984: Darth Hater: Lance Armstrong cheated?!? I'm so hurt by this. How dare he cheat the system, become famous, and then raise a shiat load of money to fight cancer. Cancer deserved a fair fight. Shame on you Lance...SHAME ON YOU!!!

Yes, it's totally ok to cheat, as long as you raise money for cancer!

That's why enroll all my mistresses in Walk for the Cure races.


I chortled.
 
2012-08-23 11:32:47 PM

Jodeo: Innocent until PROVEN guilty.

He's moving on. The titles don't compare to what he's doing. The USADA is doped up more than he ever was -- until there's proof to the contrary.


You can stop sucking his cock, his balls are so small you won't get anything out of them anyhow.
 
2012-08-23 11:33:42 PM
So wait, does this leave ANY winners of the TdF in the past decade?!
 
2012-08-23 11:33:58 PM

Jodeo: Innocent until PROVEN guilty.

He's moving on. The titles don't compare to what he's doing. The USADA is doped up more than he ever was -- until there's proof to the contrary.


This may come as a shock to some people in here but multiple, corroborating eyewitness accounts do, in fact, count as evidence.

I know, I know. Tough to believe.
 
2012-08-23 11:34:11 PM

WTF Indeed: cameroncrazy1984: Darth Hater: Lance Armstrong cheated?!? I'm so hurt by this. How dare he cheat the system, become famous, and then raise a shiat load of money to fight cancer. Cancer deserved a fair fight. Shame on you Lance...SHAME ON YOU!!!

Yes, it's totally ok to cheat, as long as you raise money for cancer!

That's why enroll all my mistresses in Walk for the Cure races.


Someone should have told Bill Belichick this...
 
2012-08-23 11:34:35 PM
He's a man with brass balls to admit that.

/too soon?
 
2012-08-23 11:35:45 PM
Over 500 hundred tests and no sign of doping. Last tour was what, seven years ago? What a worthless agency. Either they were utterly incompetent then, when they didn't catch him doping with their flawed drug tests, or worse, they are now wrongfully destroying the phenomenal record of an American legend. Either way, Travis Tygart and his agency are farking idiots.
 
2012-08-23 11:36:12 PM
I was unaware that USADA regulated sporting events in France. Isn't that like the Canadian doping agency stripping Usain Bolt of a gold medal at the London Olympics or something stupid like that
 
2012-08-23 11:36:38 PM
I don't follow the cycling sport so I don't understand how, years later, he's going to be stripped of his titles.

I assume he got tested back then like everyone else. I assume that after he won a couple of times they'd double and triple test him just out of envy and resentment. Since he was allowed to keep competing I'm assuming he passed their tests.

So what changed? The tests themselves? So what? If the rule says you must pass Test X and he did, who gives a crap if years later they develop Test Y and he fails? That wasn't the rule back then.
 
2012-08-23 11:36:40 PM

Darth Hater: WTF Indeed: cameroncrazy1984: Darth Hater: Lance Armstrong cheated?!? I'm so hurt by this. How dare he cheat the system, become famous, and then raise a shiat load of money to fight cancer. Cancer deserved a fair fight. Shame on you Lance...SHAME ON YOU!!!

Yes, it's totally ok to cheat, as long as you raise money for cancer!

That's why enroll all my mistresses in Walk for the Cure races.

Someone should have told Bill Belichick this...


I lol'd.
 
2012-08-23 11:37:20 PM

4NSpy: Great, now what am I going to do with a storage locker full of yellow "Livestrong" bracelets?


Abandon it and have one of the Storage Wars people get stuck with it.
 
2012-08-23 11:37:30 PM
FTFA: He called the USADA investigation an "unconstitutional witch hunt."

Could someone please explain to this guy that the Constitution has absolutely nothing to do with his case?

Actually, forget about it. Let's just forget this asshole even exists. fark Lance Armstrong. And while we're at it, fark Tiger Woods too.
 
2012-08-23 11:37:50 PM
"Tour de France" roughly translates as "Tour of France."

Next week, I'll tell you the meaning of LeBron James.
 
2012-08-23 11:38:27 PM

WTF Indeed: cameroncrazy1984: Darth Hater: Lance Armstrong cheated?!? I'm so hurt by this. How dare he cheat the system, become famous, and then raise a shiat load of money to fight cancer. Cancer deserved a fair fight. Shame on you Lance...SHAME ON YOU!!!

Yes, it's totally ok to cheat, as long as you raise money for cancer!

That's why enroll all my mistresses in Walk for the Cure races.


I bet she runs instead of walks too, huh?
 
2012-08-23 11:38:59 PM
i177.photobucket.com i177.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-23 11:39:22 PM
So the frat douchebags who wear the Livestrong bracelets as a douche accessory are even douchier now? Sweet.
 
2012-08-23 11:39:34 PM
a.espncdn.com
Presenting Douchebag of the Century:
Travis Tygart, CEO, United States Anti-Doping Agency
 
2012-08-23 11:39:34 PM

consider this: blood samples consistent with blood doping.


If they do, it's odd the USADA hasn't made it public.
 
mjg
2012-08-23 11:39:41 PM

Darth Hater: WTF Indeed: cameroncrazy1984: Darth Hater: Lance Armstrong cheated?!? I'm so hurt by this. How dare he cheat the system, become famous, and then raise a shiat load of money to fight cancer. Cancer deserved a fair fight. Shame on you Lance...SHAME ON YOU!!!

Yes, it's totally ok to cheat, as long as you raise money for cancer!

That's why enroll all my mistresses in Walk for the Cure races.

Someone should have told Bill Belichick this...


southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
 
2012-08-23 11:39:53 PM

Representative of the unwashed masses: I was unaware that USADA regulated sporting events in France. Isn't that like the Canadian doping agency stripping Usain Bolt of a gold medal at the London Olympics or something stupid like that


Lance raced under a US license internationally which meant he was subject to the rules of the USADA and by extension the WADA and the IOC.
 
2012-08-23 11:40:11 PM

Birnone: So what changed? The tests themselves? So what? If the rule says you must pass Test X and he did, who gives a crap if years later they develop Test Y and he fails? That wasn't the rule back then.


This is such a stupid comment I'm wondering if it's a terrible attempt at trolling, but okay, I'll bite.

No, the rules do *not* say you have to pass a specific test. If new tests are developed and someone thinks to test your samples and you fail? No title.

Otherwise people like Marion Jones wouldn't have had her Olympic medals stripped years later.
 
2012-08-23 11:40:51 PM

malaktaus: fark Tiger Woods too.


Why? He just needed 18 holes to be happy.
 
2012-08-23 11:41:00 PM

whatshisname: cameroncrazy1984: A man who clearly won 7 Tour De France titles without help is tired.

You don't win the Tour de France without help.


You didn't ride that!
 
2012-08-23 11:41:41 PM
The only thing that the public likes more than a hero is a fallen hero.
 
2012-08-23 11:41:42 PM

DrySocket: Lance raced under a US license internationally which meant he was subject to the rules of the USADA and by extension the WADA and the IOC.


Thing is, it's the UCI that sanctions cycling events and the tests therein. And the UCI boots people for doping and takes away wins and places bans. Yet the UCI hasn't really had an issue with Lance.
 
2012-08-23 11:41:52 PM
I really don't understand how USADA can strip Armstrong of the titles. You'd think that would be something only the actual Tour would be able to do that. That said, they'd be more than happy to take away Armstrong's seven wins.

I do agree that the whole "investigation" is really down to a "he said/she said" type thing with their star witness being an already disgraced Floyd Landis. If USADA has all this evidence, release it. Otherwise, shut up and move on.
 
2012-08-23 11:43:27 PM

Billy Crystal Meth Lab: Darth Hater: Lance Armstrong cheated?!? I'm so hurt by this. How dare he cheat the system, become famous, and then raise a shiat load of money to fight cancer. Cancer deserved a fair fight. Shame on you Lance...SHAME ON YOU!!!

I'm sure that's why he cheated - to raise money for cancer research. Had nothing to do with, you know, winning the damn bike race.


Doesn't matter why he cheated. The end result is he raised money to fight cancer. The ends justify the means. BTW, I hope you die from aggressive colon cancer.
 
2012-08-23 11:43:42 PM

Billy Crystal Meth Lab: So wait, does this leave ANY winners of the TdF in the past decade?!


Erik Zabel came in second 6 years in a row, I bet he'll be the next doper to be stripped of Armstrong's vacant 1st place.
 
2012-08-23 11:43:44 PM

Representative of the unwashed masses: I was unaware that USADA regulated sporting events in France. Isn't that like the Canadian doping agency stripping Usain Bolt of a gold medal at the London Olympics or something stupid like that


Well, since Usain Bolt is not a Canadian citizen, no that is not the same thing. I'm pretty sure all US professional athletes are under the authority of the USADA, regardless of where they are playing that sport.
 
2012-08-23 11:43:45 PM

consider this: They haven't made their witness list public yet either.


Which I have a problem with. Either fess up to what you have against someone, or drop it. The UCI has dealt with doping issues and had no problem saying "Person X said person Y was doping, we followed up on it and found evidence they were doping".
 
2012-08-23 11:43:53 PM

WhyteRaven74: DrySocket: Lance raced under a US license internationally which meant he was subject to the rules of the USADA and by extension the WADA and the IOC.

Thing is, it's the UCI that sanctions cycling events and the tests therein. And the UCI boots people for doping and takes away wins and places bans. Yet the UCI hasn't really had an issue with Lance.


The UCI is in a tricky spot here. Part of the evidence against Lance says that the UCI helped Lance cover up a positive EPO test from 2001. If the UCI appeals, they could incur the wrath of the WADA and the IOC who could decide to exclude professional cyclists from the next olympics because they decide the UCI is corrupt and dont follow anti-doping rules.
 
2012-08-23 11:44:35 PM
Kind of like soccer, I don't care.
 
2012-08-23 11:45:28 PM

Fisty Bum: If USADA has all this evidence, release it.


They might just do that. On Monday, Armstrong lost his lawsuit to have it blocked.
 
2012-08-23 11:45:36 PM
And a Martyr is born.

\Don't like him
\\But you pee 1000 times, somebody will f it up.
 
2012-08-23 11:46:10 PM

Transubstantive: I'm pretty sure all US professional athletes are under the authority of the USADA,


They're not. Only certain ones are, football players aren't, track athletes are.
 
2012-08-23 11:46:20 PM

whatshisname: Fisty Bum: If USADA has all this evidence, release it.

They might just do that. On Monday, Armstrong lost his lawsuit to have it blocked.


Unless part of the settlement included not releasing said evidence, which is likely the case.
 
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