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(Yahoo)   Wil Wheaton robbed again this year as People magazine names Johnny Depp sexiest man alive   ( divider line
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8633 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2003 at 8:43 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

245 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-11-20 10:21:53 PM  
I would have had to agree with People. Sorry Wil. You're not as sexy as Depp, but he's not Unix-sexy either.
2003-11-20 10:22:43 PM  
You're thinking of Ice-T...

Hahahahhahah! That's farking hilarious. I don't know why. Maybe I should put down the pipe.

None? You sure? It's not like mine would wake the neighbours or anything but still...

I'm pretty sure. After five straight years of masturbating in complete dark and silence (damn high-school and college roommates) I've actually tried it alone to see if it makes any noise. It doesn't.
2003-11-20 10:24:08 PM  
I totally agree Wil. What pissed me off earlier was that on the news today they referred to him as "the new hottest star" due to his role in the PotC, as if to say he he hasn't made his mark in Hollywood thus far. Asshats.
2003-11-20 10:24:35 PM  
Don't be embarrassed, ladies.
The only time us guys hear that noise is when we're getting, or just got, laid. In that condition, it could sound like a slide trombone and we wouldn't care.
2003-11-20 10:25:17 PM  

Spader always gave me the creeps for some reason, I put him in the same place as Christopher Walken.

Now, Johnny Depp? I could hurt myself on him.
2003-11-20 10:25:32 PM  
Johnny Depp was the man on 21 Jump Street, that's going back some, but it was a great series.
2003-11-20 10:26:19 PM  
Hhey elchip, did you know she's 16 in those pictures?
2003-11-20 10:26:21 PM  

Ya know, now that I think about it some more, I think most of the sound comes from the use of artificial lube; I really hate's too damn sticky..I don't know why I use it!
2003-11-20 10:27:07 PM  
Michael Jackson is prettier, though.
2003-11-20 10:31:02 PM  
"flicking the bean"! now that's comedy.

johnny depp was even hot when he had a mullet. you know what makes him hot though is his sense of humor. he takes roles as these oddball characters and it works every time. and besides, the man has a tattoo that says "wino forever". that's too good....

(yes, i know what it used to say. i'm just sayin' is all.)
2003-11-20 10:31:04 PM  
Spader always gave me the creeps for some reason, I put him in the same place as Christopher Walken.

Yes, but creepy can be good sometimes. Like, in "Secretary" he was very creepy, but still, that didn't stop me from having "interesting" dreams about him that night...

*imagines herself in the middle of a Johnny, Viggo, Spader sammich* Mmmmmmmm.
2003-11-20 10:32:28 PM  
squish or squitch is the best it gets.

How unfortunate to have such an unmelodic word as the best description. It would offend my sense of poetry except that not much about sex is poetic in the first place ;)
2003-11-20 10:32:56 PM  
Spader was great in "2 Days in the Valley," even if the movie was a forgettable Pulp Fiction wannabe.
2003-11-20 10:35:01 PM  
Can't argue with Mr Depp but I really can't believe Matthew McConaughey doesn't top these lists regularly.

As for this thread - best gathering of Farkettes I've been witness too. It's a pleasure to be in the virtual presence of such a group.

and finally - just want to drop Wil's first name into my post for good measure (when in Rome...)
2003-11-20 10:35:33 PM  

I had to look steve bartman up!
Ah yes,
I have to say you are probably more popular than he is in chicago.
Incidentally, had trouble finding the book. Another reprint? know where it is available? etc

You don't understand Cub's fans, then. They love the guy. OR they will love the guy - it'll take a few years.

As much as we love Wil, Bartman is the excuse the Cub's fans need for following their losing team. Hey, Sam Sianis (and his billy goat) is a legend and he's the first curse on the Cubs.
2003-11-20 10:35:43 PM  
I would take a run at James Spader. Oh ya. I declare him sexiest man on earth. Ashton Kutcher made the cut and not Spader? I would let Spader get all up in this. All up in this ass like a bikeseat.
2003-11-20 10:38:36 PM  
... especially sex with yourself ;)
2003-11-20 10:40:37 PM  
I thought Ashton was cute until I saw that MTV show of his (what's it called? I'm Canadian, help me out...), then I thought "meh." At least Johnny never uses the phrase "Yo, G."
2003-11-20 10:40:41 PM  
What a colorful metaphor Gert.
2003-11-20 10:41:24 PM  
Depp is a total method actor. I've heard/read some unusual stories about how he gets into character. "Pirates of the Carribean" is a goofy flick, but he's totally believable in that movie. You can believe that he's Icabod Crane in "Sleepy Hollow".
2003-11-20 10:45:48 PM  
Matthew McConaughey rocks but he's too much of a pretty boy. Perhaps I just haven't seen him in the right films but that's my impression.

Put him in a flick where his face gets dirty and he gets to play angst and watch the opinion change ;)
2003-11-20 10:57:28 PM  
I thought Depp was going to stay in France with the rest of the pu$$ies after 9-11-2001. I think he sucks. Flame on
2003-11-20 10:57:40 PM  
Somebody PLEASE post an Edward Penishands pic!

(That didn't quite come out the way I planned....)
2003-11-20 10:58:14 PM  
Somebody PLEASE post an Edward Penishands pic!

(That didn't quite come out the way I planned....)
2003-11-20 10:59:35 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-11-20 11:00:27 PM  
or maybe Frued would say it did....why I posted it twice.

...sulks off...
2003-11-20 11:01:14 PM  
Hey Will, next time you are in NM, stop by in Santa Fe, you missed one of the best parts of the state.
2003-11-20 11:04:42 PM  
Wow SirOnyx. Ask (twice) and ye shall receive.

I'd make some sort of Michael Jackson reference, but I'd probably double post again and God knows what I'd get then....
2003-11-20 11:07:45 PM  
Why is this sad? I think he's great and he beats that poser boy, Ben Affleck, any day of the week.
2003-11-20 11:08:08 PM  
The only other person I can say that about is Jenna Jameson.

Wil, you farking rock, man.
2003-11-20 11:08:17 PM  
This word, "Penishands", I do not think it means what you think it means.
2003-11-20 11:09:34 PM  
yeah but does Depp have a posse?

I thought not.
2003-11-20 11:09:35 PM  
Fark that asshat Johnny Depp. If he were drowning I'd toss him a brick...
2003-11-20 11:10:36 PM  
He's a good actor, but he's still an asshat...
2003-11-20 11:26:12 PM  

I can't believe I'm saying this but for a rougher McConaughey, check out Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4. It's got another surprise star as well.
2003-11-20 11:26:50 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Now THATS the sexiest man alive!

/shudders at own comment
2003-11-20 11:32:17 PM  
JD gets my vote for a good actor.

Poor guy, how long will it take for him to live
down the "Peeple's "Sexiest Man Alive" tag.

/Peeple's Magazine - the stuff just reeks
2003-11-20 11:32:39 PM  
I don't think that's a man.
2003-11-20 11:40:37 PM  
Lol Croakur
2003-11-20 11:54:51 PM  
Man, maybe it's just because I'm seeing that photo for the 200th time in 6 hrs, but all of a sudden I had a pity reaction for Jacko. I guess it's because of the context of this thread, since Michael Jackson was a sexy male once, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. His eyeballs are the only thing that haven't changed, and I don't mean any skin touching his eyes, just his eyeballs. He looks like he's wearing a silicone rubber mask that's sliding off of his face. He's only 5 years older than Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp had his wild days but now has a beautiful girlfriend whom he's had 2 kids with, he lives in France, he's done acting work he can be seriously be proud of and he appears to enjoy his work. Jacko had success more massive than anyone else could ever aspire to and he blew it in such an enormous way. If he really did something to kids he deserves whatever he's got coming to him. One way or another, he's not going to go out neatly and quietly. He's a freakish legend.

If ever there was a curse you could cast on someone, it would be "May you enjoy the fame of Michael Jackson".

May Johnny Depp's life be nothing like MJ's.
2003-11-20 11:57:28 PM  
best thread ever. the johhny depp, the masturbation, even WIL!
however, i did notice that noone has mentioned orlando bloom...i thought, maybe, we were talking about PoTC, and then LOTR, that he might come up in conversation. i cannot be the only one that dreams of legolas fortnightly?

and GERT B? JEBUS, may i use that? hahah, bikeseat...
2003-11-21 12:01:24 AM  
wil said "Lothing."

Somehow pointing this out makes my life more complete...

Depp is the man. Go 'Tucky!
2003-11-21 12:08:20 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

i don't think i've ever met a girl to come clean about getting dirty.
2003-11-21 12:21:07 AM  
stop hanging out at church then microwavable
2003-11-21 12:24:44 AM  
I caught James Spader in a movie called (I think) Supernova a little while back and...jeezy chreezy! Where the heck did that body come from?! Did he have a body double or did he suddenly become built like a brick shiat house?

I think I need to have a little lie-down somewhere just thinking about it. Or at least a private moment.
2003-11-21 12:26:24 AM  

I don't really like Orlando as Legolas...perhaps it's because his hair in LoTR looks like mine, which is a bit unnerving, really. But with his regular hair...yowza.

You know, I really need to get out more if a thread on Fark makes me wanna flick the girlie bean.
2003-11-21 12:32:32 AM That's my face. I mean, thanks for the kudos and all, but that's sorta embarrassing.
2003-11-21 12:34:00 AM  

well to be fair, i suppose i've only ever had the subject brought up to about a dozen women before. but still, you'd think at least one of those would offer to describe the sounds of female masterbation, much less confess to it.

you could be right though, it must be taboo here near the Bible Belt.
2003-11-21 12:34:55 AM  
hahaha. funny shiat.
2003-11-21 12:40:46 AM  
Pinky: What are we doing tonight, Brain?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Get drunk, wank off, and fall asleep.

I got nuthin'. Just wanted to keep staring at the Johnny thread. ;)
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