FARK.com: (7283269) There are running mates... and then there's Mitt Romney/Paul Ryan erotic slash fanfic. (Not Safe For... Anything.)

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		There are running mates... and then there's Mitt Romney/Paul Ryan erotic slash fanfic. (Not Safe For... Anything.) (theatlanticwire.com)		94
		More: Scary, Mitt Romney, running mate, Fanboys

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2062 clicks; posted to Politics » on 23 Aug 2012 at 4:46 AM | Favorite | share:

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NowhereMon		2012-08-22 11:44:33 PM

Oh yeah, we are going there...

SilentStrider		2012-08-22 11:46:16 PM

wat.

abb3w		2012-08-22 11:50:13 PM

SilentStrider: wat.

Rule 34.

MaudlinMutantMollusk		2012-08-22 11:51:43 PM

Whiskey
Tango
Foxtrot
?

/when did Rule 34 become a law?

GAT_00		2012-08-22 11:52:33 PM

Well, I suppose that's the Internet's way of telling me to go to bed.

fusillade762		2012-08-22 11:53:06 PM

I seem to recall some Farker posted a story about Mitt and Paul getting nasty in a gym shower the very day of the announcement.

Lenny_da_Hog		2012-08-22 11:53:50 PM

This is the link all the Fark Independents will point to in order to justify all the Breitbart, American Stinker, Town Hall, and Hot Air links.

Weaver95		2012-08-22 11:53:58 PM

The union of Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan has brought us many wonderful things ranging from fashion editors waxing about their sartorial choices to the wonky Medicare debate, but this beautiful relationship has also spawned something far weirder: erotic fan fiction.

BAD INTERNET! BAD DOGGIE! *thwaps internet on the nose with a rolled up newspaper*

Stop that!

abb3w		2012-08-22 11:55:32 PM

Weaver95: BAD INTERNET! BAD DOGGIE! *thwaps internet on the nose with a rolled up newspaper*

Dragging something like this into the house seems more like something a cat might do.

Chariset		2012-08-22 11:58:53 PM

Guess I'll go finish that Sarah Palin/Twilight Sparkle piece I was working on.

/Don't worry; Twilight is on top

NowhereMon		2012-08-23 12:05:22 AM

fusillade762		2012-08-23 12:22:35 AM

NowhereMon: [tomwhahappen.files.wordpress.com image 324x239]

Star Trek + Nine Inch Nails = Closer

/oblig (NSFW language)

Krieghund		2012-08-23 12:27:54 AM

GAT_00: Well, I suppose that's the Internet's way of telling me to go to bed.

In other words: You'll be in your bunk.

jbc		2012-08-23 12:33:22 AM

Lenny_da_Hog: This is the link all the Fark Independents will point to in order to justify all the Breitbart, American Stinker, Town Hall, and Hot Air links.

Some will. The others are too busy jerking off to the idea of Ryan on all fours while Rmoney sensually ties him to the roof of his car.

_{/Semen. Wet. Good.}

Mentat		2012-08-23 12:42:09 AM

As long as it's legitimate and consensual, I guess it's ok.

syrynxx		2012-08-23 01:00:50 AM

It's liek Batman and Robin*. Is Ryan young enough to be adopted as Romney's ward?

*The version where the suits had nipples

Triumph		2012-08-23 01:09:55 AM

Wow - The Atlantic vs. Prince Harry in the race to abandon dignity. Who's winning?

fusillade762		2012-08-23 01:10:17 AM

Lenny_da_Hog: This is the link all the Fark Independents will point to in order to justify all the Breitbart, American Stinker, Town Hall, and Hot Air links.

I'll just tell them if they don't like it they can write their own Obama/Biden slashfic.

*shudder*

ox45tallboy		2012-08-23 01:28:10 AM

"You know, Paul, you keep in really good shape. I bet you could use a nice massage!"

"What did you say?"

"Ummm....I said my horse does dressage!"

"Okay...."

ox45tallboy		2012-08-23 01:51:11 AM

"Dearest Paul... The campaign trail is so lonely without you by my side. I miss your companionship, your counsel, your advice, the smell of your hair..."

.
.
.
.
.
.

*sigh* "I miss you too, Mitt. I miss you, too."

impaler		2012-08-23 01:56:29 AM

Even the National Review is getting in on this action.

Link

themindiswatching		2012-08-23 02:02:48 AM

impaler: Even the National Review is getting in on this action.

The author of that article sounds uncomfortable with his sexuality.

ox45tallboy		2012-08-23 02:08:22 AM

impaler: Even the National Review is getting in on this action.

Link

"We don't do harems here, of course, but Romney is exactly the kind of guy who in another time and place would have the option of maintaining one. He's a boss. Given that we are no longer roaming the veldt for the most part, money is a reasonable stand-in for social status. Romney's net worth is more than that of the last eight U.S. presidents combined."

cdn.newsday.com

"Damn, I love that man..."

fusillade762		2012-08-23 02:15:23 AM

ox45tallboy: [www.marketplace.org image 360x210]
"Dearest Paul... The campaign trail is so lonely without you by my side. I miss your companionship, your counsel, your advice, the smell of your hair..."

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x260]

[farm1.staticflickr.com image 400x180]

[media.mlive.com image 400x308]

[upload.wikimedia.org image 400x267]

[wonkroom.thinkprogress.org image 240x240].

[nakeddc.com image 240x301]
*sigh* "I miss you too, Mitt. I miss you, too."

www.prettyopinionated.com

Mentat		2012-08-23 02:28:38 AM

impaler: Even the National Review is getting in on this action.

Link

I have to believe they're trolling us. I have to believe that they're all sitting in the NRO boardroom laughing at the reaction to that article. No one could seriously right something like that, not even Republicans.

ox45tallboy		2012-08-23 02:34:18 AM

Mentat: No one could seriously right something like that, not even Republicans.

I would personally agree with this statement if to didn't apply to at least 40% of the articles I've read there.

impaler		2012-08-23 02:44:26 AM

Mentat: I have to believe they're trolling us. I have to believe that they're all sitting in the NRO boardroom laughing at the reaction to that article. No one could seriously right something like that, not even Republicans.

Let's say they are trolling.

What does it mean? No one can even tell. If they come out and honestly say "ha, we troll you!" It just looks like they're back peddling. And even then, the fact they think that is humor says all that needs to be said.

In fact, it is supposed to be humorous, I suspect, but not ironically.

ox45tallboy		2012-08-23 02:56:47 AM

impaler: In fact, it is supposed to be humorous, I suspect, but not ironically.

www.c-spanvideo.org

"Reaganomics is too mainstream nowadays."

jekxrb		2012-08-23 03:14:12 AM

fusillade762: I seem to recall some Farker posted a story about Mitt and Paul getting nasty in a gym shower the very day of the announcement.

Yeah. It was pretty entertaining:

The thread.

The post:

dameron: "Mitt, you hear about these $5000 stop signs?" asks Paul. He raises his arms over his head and washes the last of the shampoo from his tightly bunched nest of black curls. Romney smiles at the way Paul twists in the steamy shower, subtly flashing his armpits to Mitt like his arms were radar arrays and his smooth clefts were reflecting Mitt's innermost thoughts back at the man while he scrapes suds from his naked body with his open hand.

"Did I? Talk about parasites! First we have to remind them to avoid ramming their cars together at high speed, but now we're footing the bill? It's insane!" says Mitt. His eyes paw Paul's younger body appreciatively through the misty haze only to reject the metaphor as if the word "paw" might suddenly summon Tim Pawlenty and make their mutual man showering all awkward.

"Seriously! It's like Ayn Rand writ large!" says Ryan. His abs steam. They were once awesome, back when he was piloting a meat filled wagon through the underbelly of Wisconsin, which, when it's described, can take no modifier other than the cliche of "soft". Now his abs are mere reminders of how a pack of sausages can go to field when left unattended. They're topped by twin breasts ringed with weird man fur that seems to shake like frantic pom poms whenever anyone mentions Ayn Rand.

He turns and presents his backside to Romney, seemingly uneasy that the man behind him is washing his totem savagely like Romney's hand were made of Silly Putty and his prick were printed with words from Atlas Shrugged.

"Are you really sure Clinton and Gore took showers together...?" asks Ryan but Romney's only answer is a sigh and strained grunt as he pours his chances at the presidency down the soap stained drain at the sound of Ayn Rand's name.

ox45tallboy		2012-08-23 03:19:51 AM

jekxrb: "Are you really sure Clinton and Gore took showers together...?" asks Ryan

www.inquisitr.com

"Now, now, hold up a second! We were in the shower at the same time, but so were a bunch of ladies..."

SpaceyCat		2012-08-23 03:24:59 AM

There is not enough mental bleach in the universe to cancel out that. Yes, I did read it. Curiosity can be a VERY bad thing from time to time. This is one of those times.

OMFG.

*shudder*

ox45tallboy		2012-08-23 03:41:01 AM

SpaceyCat: There is not enough mental bleach in the universe to cancel out that.

cdn.thedailybeast.com

"Well, I will say the Angel Moroni did not bestow upon him the largest trumpet in God's orchestra..."

ox45tallboy		2012-08-23 03:43:18 AM

"...but holy f*ck, he's got a pair of casaba melons sittin' underneath!"

Ghastly		2012-08-23 04:11:59 AM

Teenage girls and their slash fan-fics. They can't be reasoned with. They doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until they've written a story about you in a silk teddy being spit roasted by two other dudes.

As the saying goes: Do not meddle in the affairs of slash writers, for you are cute, and would look good with another guy.

ox45tallboy		2012-08-23 04:47:34 AM

Ghastly: As the saying goes: Do not meddle in the affairs of slash writers, for you are cute, and would look good with another guy.

d22zlbw5ff7yk5.cloudfront.net

Alphax		2012-08-23 04:59:32 AM

Ghastly: Teenage girls and their slash fan-fics. They can't be reasoned with. They doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until they've written a story about you in a silk teddy being spit roasted by two other dudes.

As the saying goes: Do not meddle in the affairs of slash writers, for you are cute, and would look good with another guy.

Now that's comedy!

crotchgrabber		2012-08-23 05:09:09 AM

It's 2 am. I'm sick. I needed these laughs.

Thank you Pervy Internet weirdos.
"screw me like we'll screw the poor!"
And
"I was home schooled, I wasn't taught that kind of thing. Or how to transport a pet"
Those gems helped me feel a little better. But now I'm afraid to sleep.

quatchi		2012-08-23 05:14:50 AM

Rule 34 is truly a two edged sword.

/OTOH, Ox rawks.

telaran		2012-08-23 05:16:52 AM

I can't blame the fanfic writers for starting something with Mitt and Ryan. I mean, Paul Ryan has an enormous... nose.

I mean, have you looked at that thing in profile? It's long, hard and has a bulbous end. Mitt probably stares at it whenever they're having a conversation together and probably can't think of much else. I mean, It's virtually a penis already given that he seems to be very interested in stick his nose in women's business. And by business, I mean vaginas.

Maybe he should just be called Penis-nose Ryan.

TheJoe03		2012-08-23 05:23:37 AM

WizardofToast		2012-08-23 05:27:07 AM

You're a strange world, internet.

James F. Campbell		2012-08-23 05:46:31 AM

Hey, Mitt: don't forget that, like capitalism, anal sex is a well-oiled machine.

FirstNationalBastard		2012-08-23 06:19:44 AM

I can see all the Breitbarters and Freepers now, discovering this online, and reading it with rage in their hearts.... a rage so profound and burning that they have no other recourse than to take their penises out and beat them... beat their dicks long and hard and furiously until the idea of Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney and the soap suds running down the crack of Ryan's ass leaves their minds, washed away like the load of jizz that they will soon be windexing off of their computer screens.

And they will save this page, and send it to their like-minded friends, who will also have no choice but to abuse themselves for reading such trash. And on and on it goes, until all of Freeperland is too drained and spent to type a single line of Derp.

/I can dream, can't I?

Warlordtrooper		2012-08-23 06:25:23 AM

Fark you Internet. Fark you

Shirley Ujest		2012-08-23 06:43:47 AM

I feel like I was mind raped.

Aquapope		2012-08-23 06:47:23 AM

I love this! Conniptions will be had! Teeth will be gnashed! FOX will lose their collective mind while trying to walk the high road, and everybody else will laugh and laugh and laugh. And somebody will PS a bondage pic of Romney holding a chained and gagged Ryan and Biden will say "I told you"!

the_freelance		2012-08-23 07:15:46 AM

Mentat: impaler: Even the National Review is getting in on this action.

Link

I have to believe they're trolling us. I have to believe that they're all sitting in the NRO boardroom laughing at the reaction to that article. No one could seriously right something like that, not even Republicans.

This bunch of consultant-addled GOPers? Absolutely. There is no doubt that Team R-R was built with an eye toward suburban MILF moistening. Who reads and writes a lot of fanfic? They'll take the WH any way they can get it. In other words, pitching isn't ghey.

keylock71		2012-08-23 07:26:05 AM

Sound like a lot of people have way too much time on their hands...

The photoshops are hilarious, though.

Bigdogdaddy		2012-08-23 07:26:33 AM

WTFDIDIJUSTREAD.jpg

xanadian		2012-08-23 07:28:15 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Whiskey
Tango
Foxtrot
?

/when did Rule 34 become a law?

DAMN YOU, 0BAMA!!1!

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