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(Mother Jones)   "Flowchart: Can I get pregnant?" The biology of lady bodies, according to conservative male lawmakers. The spermicidal womanly secretions and "God's little protective shield" were new ones on me   (motherjones.com) divider line 36
    More: Amusing, god, secretions, birds and the bees, political question, biology, male lawmakers  
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4081 clicks; posted to Politics » on 22 Aug 2012 at 4:18 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-08-22 02:21:30 PM  
Honest rape: Looks like I have to update my chart.

Forcible, Legitimate, Honest Rape - Abortion Approved
Forcible, Legitimate, Dishonest Rape - Abortion Denied
Forcible, Illegitimate, Honest Rape - Abortion Denied
Forcible, Illegitimate, Dishonest Rape - Abortion Denied
Consensual, Legitimate, Honest Rape - Abortion Denied
Consensual, Legitimate, Dishonest Rape - Abortion Denied
Consensual, Illegitimate, Honest Rape - Abortion Denied
Consensual, Illegitimate, Dishonest Rape - Abortion Denied
 
2012-08-22 02:28:47 PM  
Apparently, I'm a slut because I didn't have sex with my male husband.
 
2012-08-22 02:38:21 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Apparently, I'm a slut because I didn't have sex with my male husband.


Bummer. Try it with your female husband next time.
 
2012-08-22 02:59:40 PM  
FFS, it's the 21st goddamn century and we're still rehashing this 18th century bullsh*t?

/I weep for my country
 
2012-08-22 03:08:33 PM  
I'm more interested in the "Am I a slut?" Flowchart.
 
2012-08-22 03:10:31 PM  

ManateeGag: I'm more interested in the "Am I a slut?" Flowchart.


Are you a women?

Yes.............No

Yes: you're a slut
No: would you like to join a committee on women's reproductive health?
 
2012-08-22 03:38:04 PM  
Excellent find, subby.
 
2012-08-22 03:40:59 PM  
The chart doesn't include buttseks. The liberal media and scientists would have you believe that you can't get pregnant from it... but how do you think republicans are conceived.
 
2012-08-22 03:48:32 PM  

kbronsito: The chart doesn't include buttseks. The liberal media and scientists would have you believe that you can't get pregnant from it... but how do you think republicans are conceived.


Is there anything more funny that far-right (and far-left) beliefs?
 
2012-08-22 04:02:00 PM  

kbronsito: The chart doesn't include buttseks. The liberal media and scientists would have you believe that you can't get pregnant from it... but how do you think republicans are conceived.


You actually can get pregnant from that.
 
2012-08-22 04:21:04 PM  
Wow.. that was a really, really lame flow chart. Thanks for ruining my day, Adam Weinstein.
 
2012-08-22 04:26:48 PM  
Can you get pregnant from rape-rape?
 
2012-08-22 04:27:27 PM  
That didn't look like a chart.
 
2012-08-22 04:28:29 PM  
Did your rape come in a 40lb box?
 
2012-08-22 04:33:33 PM  

Citrate1007: That didn't look like a chart.


Did you scroll down?
 
2012-08-22 04:34:52 PM  

L Buff: Citrate1007: That didn't look like a chart.

Did you scroll down?


Ah, I saw a cat and started clicking.....
 
2012-08-22 04:40:14 PM  
Citrate1007: Ah, I saw a cat and started clicking.....

An accurate summary of the internet.
 
2012-08-22 04:46:22 PM  
The thing is, 99% of men really don't understand how the lady parts work and nor do we want to. We're just happy to have a place to put our penis from time to time. Don't believe me ladies... just ask your guy to run out and buy you a package of sanitary napkins and see what happens.
 
2012-08-22 04:49:15 PM  

Brick-House: The thing is, 99% of men really don't understand how the lady parts work


I highly doubt your mastery of percentages.
 
2012-08-22 04:51:18 PM  

Brick-House: The thing is, 99% of men really don't understand how the lady parts work and nor do we want to. We're just happy to have a place to put our penis from time to time. Don't believe me ladies... just ask your guy to run out and buy you a package of sanitary napkins and see what happens.


I'm guessing this:
www.beato.com
 
2012-08-22 04:59:50 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-22 05:04:12 PM  
i293.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-22 05:04:15 PM  

Brick-House: just ask your guy to run out and buy you a package of sanitary napkins and see what happens.


See last time my girlfriend asked me for some of those, I ordered some delivery and asked for extra napkins. For some reason she's still not talking to me...
 
2012-08-22 05:18:45 PM  
i.qkme.me
 
2012-08-22 05:31:22 PM  

Brick-House: The thing is, 99% of men really don't understand how the lady parts work and nor do we want to. We're just happy to have a place to put our penis from time to time. Don't believe me ladies... just ask your guy to run out and buy you a package of sanitary napkins and see what happens.


As a husband who started as a boyfriend who was willing to make those runs... Man up, ya pansies. I will admit to getting overwhelmed by the varieties of winged, night-time, light, heavy etc... but half the things come in variety packs (score!) and beyond that, just listen and you'll figure it out after a couple of tries.

Furthermore, I don't claim myself to be an expert in ladybit functionality, I know enough to get myself in trouble and that seems to work well for both of us. What a woman does with her body is her choice, and she should be free to make those decisions. If you are part of a faith that discourages you from making the choice to abort, no problem, that's your right. Same as people of certain faiths can refuse blood transfers or other treatments. We don't have to ban those for the religious protection to exist.

Stupid discussion for us to have to have in the 21st century. This energy really should be focused on creating replicators.

/Earl grey, hot!
 
2012-08-22 05:49:51 PM  

Leo Bloom's Freakout: but half the things come in variety packs (score!)


Even more important when you have a 12 year old step daughter. just grab the variety pack, come home, and yell, "STEP DAUGHTER(name withheld) COME GET YOUR PADS!!!!!"
 
2012-08-22 06:05:59 PM  

baka-san: Leo Bloom's Freakout: but half the things come in variety packs (score!)

Even more important when you have a 12 year old step daughter. just grab the variety pack, come home, and yell, "STEP DAUGHTER(name withheld) COME GET YOUR PADS!!!!!"


Ha! With a 13 month old at home, not looking forward to the days of her being a hormonal preteen/teen. Thankfully there's some time before that.

Also... is it wrong that I picture you making above comment while ringing an old-fashioned "out West" dinner triangle?

/What's for dinner?
//Roast beef, of course.
 
2012-08-22 06:17:06 PM  

CitronR: Citrate1007: Ah, I saw a cat and started clicking.....

An accurate summary of the internet.


Hands down, the funniest thing I've read all day.
 
2012-08-22 06:17:14 PM  

Leo Bloom's Freakout: As a husband who started as a boyfriend who was willing to make those runs... Man up, ya pansies. I will admit to getting overwhelmed by the varieties of winged, night-time, light, heavy etc... but half the things come in variety packs (score!) and beyond that, just listen and you'll figure it out after a couple of tries.


I go with "tell me the exact brand and type" and write it down. Or "show me the old package" and snap a cellphone pic, if I want to be high-tech.

That way there can be no mistake.
 
2012-08-22 06:24:30 PM  

Mentat: Honest rape: Looks like I have to update my chart.

Forcible, Legitimate, Honest Rape - Abortion Approved
Forcible, Legitimate, Dishonest Rape - Abortion Denied
Forcible, Illegitimate, Honest Rape - Abortion Denied
Forcible, Illegitimate, Dishonest Rape - Abortion Denied
Consensual, Legitimate, Honest Rape - Abortion Denied
Consensual, Legitimate, Dishonest Rape - Abortion Denied
Consensual, Illegitimate, Honest Rape - Abortion Denied
Consensual, Illegitimate, Dishonest Rape - Abortion Denied


i.imgur.com

Pictured: What Honest Rape might look like.
 
2012-08-22 06:27:38 PM  

Leo Bloom's Freakout: Ha! With a 13 month old at home, not looking forward to the days of her being a hormonal preteen/teen. Thankfully there's some time before that.

Also... is it wrong that I picture you making above comment while ringing an old-fashioned "out West" dinner triangle?



You know, I do have one somewhere in the shed...
 
2012-08-22 06:52:19 PM  
"Apparently, I'm a slut because I didn't have sex with my male husband"

"Try it with your female husband next time"

She's married to Ranma Saotome?

/or herb
 
2012-08-22 07:55:22 PM  

kbronsito: The chart doesn't include buttseks. The liberal media and scientists would have you believe that you can't get pregnant from it... but how do you think republicans are conceived.


They're not delivered by sparkly crying eagles?
 
2012-08-22 08:12:05 PM  

DemonEater: Leo Bloom's Freakout: As a husband who started as a boyfriend who was willing to make those runs... Man up, ya pansies. I will admit to getting overwhelmed by the varieties of winged, night-time, light, heavy etc... but half the things come in variety packs (score!) and beyond that, just listen and you'll figure it out after a couple of tries.

I go with "tell me the exact brand and type" and write it down. Or "show me the old package" and snap a cellphone pic, if I want to be high-tech.

That way there can be no mistake.


Unless they change the packaging. This has happened to me twice now.
 
2012-08-23 08:26:12 AM  
There might BE something to this "a woman can shut down her reproductive system" claim.


Note that Rush Limbaugh - even after four wives - has not managed to get a single ONE of them pregnant...
 
2012-08-23 10:24:15 AM  

ursomniac: There might BE something to this "a woman can shut down her reproductive system" claim.


Note that Rush Limbaugh - even after four wives - has not managed to get a single ONE of them pregnant...


You think that Rush has sex with women, that's even funnier than the internet summary about cats.
 
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