unless......

they do when you shove a couple sticks of dynamite up there little turkey asses

Deep-fried turkey:

National Dish of Asshatonia

Glenn doesn't blame the fryer for his misfortune. "You can't idiot-proof the world," he said.

Tsk tsk. So un-American.

Well, they can, buster... they can.

The Turkey exploded? I thought he just threw it into the fryer a little too vigorously...

Hmmm maybe not Turkey, but check out Istanbul

Swampyballs, its not the national dish of Asshatonia, its the state dish of Wisconsin!

The headline alone was enough to make me laugh.

Way to royally fawk up that classic quote

Wow. A second article about explosions involving Turkey.

/rimshot

they do if you don't have common sense...

let's analyze this one:
-big pot on flimsy tripod
-big pot full of frying fat
-big pot suspended over open propane burner

hmm, that couldn't be hot, now, could it? Obviously, the guy in the story has never fried anything. you NEVER put anything into BOILING OIL with ANY gusto!

I think this may be the first time I didn't see the word lawsuit in this flavor of a story.

Deep-fried is the best turkey you'll ever have -- not at all greasy, tasty as all get-out (tastier, in fact) and done in 45 minutes.

Dang. TrouserSnakeandLarry beat me to it.

had fried turkey last year. didn't like it.

OK, as nerdy as it sounds, I'll ask:

Wasn't it "As God is my witness..."?

Ouch!

Wha Happen?????

"Then, it appeared that the turkeys mounted a counteroffensive..."

We must be living in a Matrix. Like clockwork, when hunting season starts, you hear about hunters shooting each other ("I mistaked that man wearing a bright orange flourescent vest for a bear !), and around Thanksgiving, you hear about people who fry their turkeys injuring themselves. Why are these people still breeding, and how can I get one of these wimmin to breed with me ?

Mmm...Deep fried Turkey with a Cajun injection is da yumminess!

*BAM*!!!11

I miss WKRP. RIP, Gordon Jump. Headline makes me nostalgic...could not care less about the turkey frying story and people burning themselves up. Priorities.

This year is my first turkey. I think I will rely on the classic version of preparation. Ok you got me, I just want to fist a turkey...

manderx:

You probably got a bite of the ring-meat.

Speaking of, do turkeys have taints?

/Nyquil daze

I saw this on Ed last night...

(reading recipes and)
Heart surrenders....

Never use turkey fryers

That sums it up right there. Fry chicken, not turkey, you damn fools. JHC, next thing you know you'll have weird shiat like friend twinkies or something...

2003-11-20 01:04:35 PM enkafan
I saw this on Ed last night...
-------------------
Me, too!!

Had fried turkey for the first time several years ago for xmas at my niece's in good ole' Winder, Georgia (there isn't enough money on this planet to get me to live there)... It was yummy-nice. It didn't explode, though, or anything like that... That would have added some excitement to an otherwise shiatty day....

A few months ago, I got to see my first exploding potato. A friend of mine was cooking and she is of the "sometimes I poke them, sometimes I don't" club. Well, after that night, she is now a card-carrying member of the "I always poke" club. What a mess!!

Honestly, some people...

I deep fried a turkey last year. I had no problems with hot oil, fire or exploding turkeys.

The key to preventing turkey-frying mishaps is to keep an eye on the pot and the thermometer at all times. If the oil gets too hot, which can happen pretty quickly, it can catch fire. Or it can boil over then catch fire.

Deep fried turkey is a fine meal.

Hey Aunt, I grew up in Athens, GA, close to Winder. Much better than Winder.

what is a "friend twinkie"? We have fried twinkies in Boston.

I love fried turkey, but it's all about the right spicy brine.

It's a helicopter, and it's coming this way. It's flying something behind it, I can't quite make it out, it's a large banner and it says, uh - Happy... Thaaaaanksss... giving! ... From ... W ... K ... R... P!! No parachutes yet. Can't be skydivers... I can't tell just yet what they are, but - Oh my God, Johnny, they're turkeys!! Johnny, can you get this? Oh, they're plunging to the earth right in front of our eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! Oh, the humanity! The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! Not since the Hindenberg tragedy has there been anything like this!

He knows.

I need to pick up a turkey fryer this year... not for frying turkey, though. They make really good low-price boil kettles & propane burners for homebrewing beer.

I've had chicken breasteses 'plode on me after being m'rayed.

I've fried many turkeys, never had an accident. It sounds like the stupid farker had his oil way too hot, not to mention that he "flung" the turkey in the oil.


BTW - Anyone frying turkeys this season, please make sure that no small children are around (or that the duct tape is wrapped firmly and layered adequately.) Stupid asshat neighbor left his fryer unattended and his kid ran into it and knocked it over, causing a small fire and nearly sending him to the burn unit.

If any part of the turkey fryer catches fire, do not attempt to extinguish.

Woah woah woah, um, if you have a fire extinguisher that is good for grease fires ( and y'all should you know ) you might want to at least try to extinguish the fire. Running out of the kitchen with the burner in flames, calling 911 and waiting 30 minutes for a fire crew to become available basically means no more home.

On Fox tonight, "Turkeys Gone Wild".

It blowed up real good!

I do not see the point to deep-frying turkey. Like Thanksgiving doesn't involve enough fat and calories as it is. And we wonder why folks need to order triple-wide coffins?

Anyway, the headline makes me happy. That has to be one of the funniest episodes of any sitcom, ever. Thanks for the transcript, TheMatt